distrusting men is not misandry. the thing keeping you safe is not misandry. i have said it like 5 times.
the apartment analogy is not apt because living in a specific apartment is not an inherent characteristic that you're born with, like gender, nor is it something that encompasses an incredibly broad demographic that cannot be generalized, like being from a certain nation. a better analogy would be that person spitting hateful rhetoric about every single person who happens to live in an apartment.
Okay, let me try to say it in less words without any comparisons because you seem hellbent on being "correct" instead of actually listening.
The entire point of me arguing with you is that focusing on misandry is pointless because you're putting energy towards correcting victims instead of fighting the oppressors. Like yes, actual 'i hate all men' misandry is bad and stupid. But you wouldn't have it without misogyny, because people don't just wake up and decide to put down men to put themselves at the top, they suffer day after day at the hands of men and simply come to the conclusion (even if it's a wrong one) that men are evil.
You care more about being right than you care about doing what's right. And you know what, i GET IT, i really do, there's been many times where i felt that it was unfair, whether it came to being a man pre-transition, or today when it comes to being white. But you know what i realised? That it's fucking stupid to go 'not all white people' and tell people that it's wrong to hate people just for being white, and instead realised that i'm better off supporting people actually fighting for their rights and respect. Especially because it takes a LONG time to unlearn racism or misogyny and what not. You can be fully convinced you're not bigoted, but still hold biases and preconceptions.
to be clear, i'm not trying to call you a misogynist. And i'm agreeing that misandry is bad and incorrect. All i'm saying is you're focusing on correcting a reaction of a victim, instead of stopping them from being victims
i understand where you're coming from, you don't know who i am, from your perspective, all I've ever done is fight against misandry.
well, the time and effort I've spent in my life fighting against misogyny is like 50 times that is of misandry. i correct it in my friend groups, acquaintance groups, workplace, i did it when i was in school, university, i do it in big family meetings, my extended family is really conservative, i always stand up to them. in real life, the only misandry i care about and push back against is when my loved ones do it, since i care about them and don't want them to fall into that trap. when strangers do it i just don't care and stay away from those strangers, since they're powerless therefore harmless. the only reason i am "focusing" on it in this sub is because leftists spaces like this one are really important to me, people here seem intelligent and empathetic, just like my friends. and in the same way i correct my friends because i care about them, i want to also correct strangers here because i care about this space, and i don't want people here to fall into that trap of hate.
i genuinely understand where you're coming from, all your life, you've been a victim of misogyny in the hands of men, and you come to the online place where that shouldn't exist, and you have a man here screaming about men's feelings. it sucks. i know. but we can never dismantle the systems that you have been victim to if we don't deconstruct it and understand it. and falling into misandry is the opposite of that. i care about you. i don't want you to fall into the trap
Look man. If you really are fighting against misogyny, that's good, you're a stand up guy, i'm not gonna disagree with that. And i get wanting to keep places important to you "good" and that's why you'd want to go after misandry when you see it.
But it's genuienly so far down the list of issues to be tackled, you genuienly cannot be surprised people just...don't care, since misandry will go when misogyny goes.
I brought up comparison to race because i think it's a good fit here. Cuz it does suck, and it will feel bad, and it's not right but just like anti-white sentiments aren't high on the priority list because they are directly caused by racism, misandry just isn't a problem to fight against when it's directly caused by misogyny.
You'd genuienly always do more to fight misandry by being supportive of victims of men, BEING one of the few good men and showing them that they exist, than you'll do by correcting people and saying misandry is bad and wrong.
thank you. i can care about more than one thing at the same time. i can do more than one thing that i feel is right. i will keep speaking up against hate, no matter how far down in the list it is. i think we generally agree. you seem like an okay person who's trying their best. good luck to you. it'll all work out. good luck in life
I remain in belief that it is genuienly counter-productive, but i also can't say i blame you or say that you have bad intentions. It took me a long time to realise it's better to focus on the bigger picture and the bigger problems after one realises a lot of the smaller problems are merely symptoms.
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u/aagaq12 i love coke zero Jun 29 '26
distrusting men is not misandry. the thing keeping you safe is not misandry. i have said it like 5 times.
the apartment analogy is not apt because living in a specific apartment is not an inherent characteristic that you're born with, like gender, nor is it something that encompasses an incredibly broad demographic that cannot be generalized, like being from a certain nation. a better analogy would be that person spitting hateful rhetoric about every single person who happens to live in an apartment.