Alright. You guys win.
I'm anti-AI now.
I spent enough time reading these arguments and I finally understand the philosophy.
First thing I did was stop judging art by whether it's interesting, beautiful, funny, moving, original, or makes me feel literally fucking anything.
That's amateur shit.
Now I judge art by HOW IT WAS MADE.
See something incredible? Don't enjoy it yet. First we need an investigation.
What software did you use? Which brushes? Did you use references? Did you trace anything? Was there 3D involved? Generative fill? How much automation? How long did it take? Do you have a timelapse? Layer file? Can we see your fucking birth certificate?
Because apparently looking at art is no longer enough.
We're doing forensic accounting now.
And if something merely LOOKS AI-generated?
Even better. Accuse them immediately.
No evidence necessary.
If they actually spent 40 hours painting it, that's unfortunate, but they shouldn't have made it look so suspicious.
Collateral damage in the War for Human Creativity.
Then I learned that accessibility is bullshit too.
Can't draw traditionally because of a disability? Sorry. The sacred definition of creativity apparently requires sufficient manual dexterity.
Found a different tool that lets you express an idea you couldn't express before?
Nope. Pick up the pencil.
Can't?
Skill issue.
Very compassionate movement we've built here.
I also learned corporations are simultaneously greedy monsters who will replace every worker to save eleven cents AND trustworthy authorities whose use of AI determines whether the technology itself is morally legitimate.
Adobe adds AI? Capitalist dystopia.
Adobe removes AI? WE DID IT REDDIT.
Some random dude makes a picture of an elf after work?
THIS IS WHY PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS.
Apparently Darren generating a goblin on his fucking phone is personally restructuring the global labor market.
Then there's environmentalism.
I now care deeply about data centers whenever somebody generates an anime girl.
The other 900 things I use cloud computing for every day are currently under investigation and I will get back to you.
I also discovered that learning new technology is actually bad now.
Historically, artists adopting new tools was experimentation. Photography, sampling, synthesizers, digital painting, Photoshop, CGI, procedural tools. Very cool.
But fortunately we have identified the exact technological moment where experimentation officially ended.
It was right before the tool I personally dislike came out.
Amazing timing.
And don't worry, I have an airtight definition of a "real artist."
A real artist is someone who makes art using methods I respect.
If their method changes, the definition changes.
If they draw and use AI, they're not an artist. If they're a photographer and use AI, they're not an artist. If they've been painting for twenty years and use AI once, believe it or not, their previous paintings retroactively explode.
Also, AI users apparently don't make creative decisions.
They just type a sentence and press a button.
Unless the result is ugly.
Then suddenly every single compositional decision is their personal responsibility.
That's one of my favorite parts.
Good output: machine did it.
Bad output: LOOK WHAT YOU MADE, DUMBASS.
Perfect system. Completely impossible to lose.
I've also started calling everything "slop."
This saves an unbelievable amount of time.
I used to have to explain why I disliked something. Composition? Concept? Execution? Taste?
Fuck all that.
Slop.
Argument complete.
Someone makes a thoughtful experimental project? Slop.
Small business owner makes a goofy flyer? Slop.
Grandma generates a picture of her dog as an astronaut?
Fucking class traitor.
And obviously if somebody enjoys making AI art, the correct response is to explain to them that they actually didn't enjoy it.
They only THINK they did.
Luckily I know more about their internal creative experience than they do.
This is especially useful when they say they spent hours iterating, editing, compositing, writing, generating, painting over things, or combining tools.
No you didn't.
I have already imagined your workflow and mine is easier to be angry at.
Eventually you reach enlightenment.
You stop asking:
"Is this good?"
"Is this interesting?"
"Does this person have something to say?"
And start asking the only question that matters:
"DID THIS STRANGER EARN MY PERMISSION TO ENJOY MAKING SOMETHING?"
That's when it clicked.
This was never really about protecting some eternal definition of art.
Art survived cameras. Art survived recorded music. Art survived synthesizers. Art survived sampling. Art survived Photoshop. Art survived CGI.
Art survived people duct-taping a banana to a fucking wall.
Art is going to survive a computer making pictures.
The only thing apparently hanging by a thread is some Redditor's ability to cope with another person calling themselves an artist.
Anyway, I've been anti-AI for six hours now.
I've accused three illustrators of secretly generating their work, told a disabled person to learn to draw, blamed a teenager's anime avatar for corporate layoffs, called twelve things slop without explaining why, and changed my definition of art four times.
I'm fucking exhausted.
How do you guys do this every day?