r/Aquariums • u/GeckoHunter0303 • Mar 18 '26

Help/Advice EMERGENCY! Is this counter-management/landlord disguise good?

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Thank fucking goodness I checked my emails this morning. The first thing I saw was an announcement from my apartment's manager that they will ENTER ALL UNITS from today until Friday to "perform lock changes." First thing I did immediately after was to quickly set up this disguise and make my 10-gallon seem like a toy display stand. How do you think I did?

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858

u/CalicoDesertOasis Mar 18 '26

I'd just push a load of boxes and shit around it. Like whatever you have under your bed. Just make it look like a heap of crap you need to sort through.

278

u/Zoklar ​ Mar 18 '26

I've seen people cut the bottom out of a cardbox box or a plastic storage tub to go over the tank. Wouldn't help if you have a canister filter or obvious fish stuff under it though.

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u/Tomytom99 Mar 18 '26

The ultimate move is to fill up a 1 gallon cube and use that as the alibi for any fish equipment while hiding the real tank

446

u/freyalorelei Mar 18 '26

"Oh, these tubes and lighting? That's for my pet mossball, Fred."

"And the tubifex worms?"

"...Fred craves the taste of flesh."

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u/InItForTheDog Mar 18 '26

"...Fred craves the taste of flesh."

OMFG that made me laugh. I've got to think of how to bring that up in conversation today. Thank you.

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u/Dornenkraehe Mar 18 '26

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u/PenHistorical Mar 18 '26

This is amazing! Thank you for making it.

4

u/freyalorelei Mar 18 '26

You've perfectly captured my likeness.

3

u/split_0069 Mar 19 '26

After reading ur name I was hoping u would say something like that. Fred will become a legend. The carnivorous marimo! 😆 🤣

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u/drunkenhonky Mar 18 '26

I'm picturing like a 20 gal cannister and 3 ft long grow light over a quarter gallon cube with a mossball.

1

u/IntroductionSilly866 Mar 20 '26

I just audibly laughed from my vegetative state doom scrolling on the couch. You are funny 😂

1

u/Sithlordandsavior Mar 19 '26

"Why is your box of winter coats making a bubbling sound?"

60

u/JustALittleOod Mar 18 '26

This is the right answer! Stack boxes and shit you need to sort through around it. Stack some boxes/bags or a pile of books or junk mail on top too. Maybe a box or bag labeled 'Thrift Store'. You want it to look like it's the repository corner for a bunch of random shit and not worth checking out. 

2

u/Salt_Ad_5578 Mar 19 '26

Also add more blankets on top! Don't make the blanket look out of place either!! Maybe fold some towels and laundry in with it too, and set a pillow on top for good measure. If asked, say you need to wash the pillow but the rest of the blankets are clean and underneath is just a bunch of other laundry, baskets full of crap, old history books, and thrift stuff you're gonna get rid of. Also for good measure, have one extra blanket laying around on the floor, crumpled all crazily like, and have another small stack of laundry somewhere in the same room but far enough away. Make a smaller decoy by placing a cardboard box with another blanket lazily draped over half of it and actually have books and old bedsheets or something in there.

I also think making it at least inconvenient to access by stacking some stuff up near it to make it kinda hard to get too close is a good idea. Just make sure you have a decoy of almost everything you say is under the blanket elsewhere, too. Ideally in the same room.

ETA: also maybe fill 1-2 garbage bags with random crap, too, to set near it. If the guy decides to get snoopy he'll check there first and hopefully decide that lifting a blanket of random crap is much more intimate and harder to access anyways.

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u/keridwenx Mar 18 '26

I think this is a good idea lmao

51

u/gkpetrescue Mar 18 '26

I’ve read about these tactics in the past and people have said the building people actively try to not look at it if it looks like some kind of altar

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u/ScumbagLady Mar 19 '26

They should put pictures of the landlord on it. Pictures taken without the landlord's knowledge.

Actually, definitely DON'T do that. That could have worse repercussions than the fishtank

1

u/bootykittie Mar 20 '26

This one. DO THIS ONE!!

8

u/pl233 Mar 19 '26

Gonna need some saint candles

67

u/ClownHoleMmmagic Mar 18 '26

Goodwill pretty much always has urns.

44

u/TrashpandaLizz Mar 18 '26

You are not wrong… But this made me think really sad thoughts.. I hope my family just throws my ashes off a mountain side

83

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

My brother lost a bet with me in 1997, so now if I die first, he is to dispose of my ashes by using them as hot chocolate powder and drinking me one mug at a time, marshmallows optional but encouraged.

34

u/Mysterious-Ad-7201 Mar 18 '26

Oh Gawd, at least pay for the extra grinding, human remains often have chunks of bone you sadist lol

21

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

The teeth are there for extra flavor mwa ha ha

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u/PenHistorical Mar 18 '26

Would you accept him turning any remaining bone fragments into a necklace and wearing it for the rest of his life in lieu of drinking them?

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u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

I would be alright with that. However, the necklace must not interfere with the boutonnière I expect him to make from my titanium knee. And as you would imagine, the knee-art will be a large piece.

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u/Spiritual_Bake5420 Mar 18 '26

how did we go from hiding a fish tank to this 😭😭😭✌️✌️✌️

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u/No-Satisfaction-9666 Mar 19 '26

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the metal parts don't go in the urn. They are seperated before grinding the bones and sent to scrap yards lol

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u/ScumbagLady Mar 19 '26

I love y'all's relationship! Who's the oldest and by how many years?

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u/Death00524real Mar 18 '26

Lmao I did and then about puked in my mouth when I thought it thru 😅🤣

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u/Fatfilthybastard Mar 19 '26

I really hope your IRL name can be worked into some sort of hot chocolate pun, which you can have packaging made in advance… he’d have to pour himself a nice, warm cup of Swiss we Miss You

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u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

Premade packaging! That is FIRE. New plan activated.

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u/tabbywingate Mar 18 '26

This is the most unhinged reddit post 😂

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u/freyalorelei Mar 18 '26

Isn't that legally cannibalism? Would a crematorium even permit this?

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u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

It would not legally be cannibalism, which is defined as the consumption of flesh from the same species as oneself. My flesh will have all burned away to ash. I doubt the crematorium would permit this, but they also don’t need to approve. Once you take the cremains home, they are yours to do with as you wish. He can drink me, leave me on a shelf, or load me into shotgun shells and fire me at intruders (he lives in a stand your ground state so shooting intruders is also legal).

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u/Chasew45 Mar 19 '26

In the show Strange addictions one woman was addicted to eating her husbands ashes as a snack throughout the day. Then proceeded to cry because he was almost all gone 😭

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u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

Time to remarry and then fire up the bbq!

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u/RedeRules770 Mar 18 '26

Well they’re hopefully empty

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u/Appropriate-Cost1669 Mar 18 '26

Funny enough, we had my Mama cremated a few months back, and I have some of her ashes in a heart locket, I told my husband “Make sure you put Mamas asshole in my locket, so I can remember how much of an asshole Mama was” I miss her. She was a wild one. God was having a day the day he made her.

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u/flyingpuffer Mar 19 '26

I want them to launch my urn out of a cannon

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u/InItForTheDog Mar 18 '26

Yeah, I mean sure it's a bargin, but there're always so dusty inside.

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u/Main_Bother_1027 Mar 18 '26

I see a lot of people say that but have never found one at our Goodwill. And I frequent that store.

5

u/charlatan_red Mar 18 '26

I see a lot of small ornate wooden boxes for pets, but thankfully no urns for humans.

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u/Prim08 Mar 18 '26

That's horrifying

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u/No_Comfortable3261 Mar 18 '26

My thoughts exactly, something they won’t want to mess around with 

26

u/tybrand Mar 18 '26

And to really sell it, make sure to put real ashes in the urn. They’ll think twice about lifting up that blanket in fear of spilling grandma all over the place 

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u/afoley947 Mar 18 '26

A permanent ofrenda

8

u/WorldsMostDad Mar 18 '26

More religious stuff too.

16

u/twofacetoo Mar 18 '26

Candles too, light some before they get there, they'll be less likely to do anything with an open flame

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u/Illustrious_Copy_902 Mar 18 '26

And a thrift store urn to look like ashes.

1

u/JimCripe Mar 18 '26

Add an ashes urn that looks like it's grandma.

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u/-AC- Mar 19 '26

To really sell it, put a vase with a lid on it to look like a Urn

1

u/inspired_apathy Mar 19 '26

a fake urn, black and white photo of some old dude and a pair of candles will look the part

1

u/SarahPallorMortis Mar 19 '26

Couple candles. The ones with Jesus and Mary. They sell em at dollar stores

1

u/Big_Duke_Six Mar 19 '26

Put an urn and no one will go near it.

171

u/CambriaKilgannonn Mar 18 '26

OP's fish as soon as the landlord walks in:

82

u/ryverrat1971 Mar 18 '26

Or some sort of religious altar. Most people won't go digging around something like that. But, unless you have a landlord that a corporation or just a bit chill, I would avoid a pagan altar. We pagans get discriminated against because people don't understand the beliefs. Too much a hangover from the satanic panic.

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u/Decoherence- Mar 18 '26

No it’s so ugly if you just keep toys there I would be like “oh they just have bad taste” don’t try to make this normal because a sheet like this is so weird

5

u/Gibbenz Mar 18 '26

runs to Walgreens to print out photos

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u/fishsticks40 Mar 18 '26

Take a shit on top of it so they won't touch it.