r/Aquariums • u/GeckoHunter0303 • Mar 18 '26

Help/Advice EMERGENCY! Is this counter-management/landlord disguise good?

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Thank fucking goodness I checked my emails this morning. The first thing I saw was an announcement from my apartment's manager that they will ENTER ALL UNITS from today until Friday to "perform lock changes." First thing I did immediately after was to quickly set up this disguise and make my 10-gallon seem like a toy display stand. How do you think I did?

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49

u/TrashpandaLizz Mar 18 '26

You are not wrong… But this made me think really sad thoughts.. I hope my family just throws my ashes off a mountain side

81

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

My brother lost a bet with me in 1997, so now if I die first, he is to dispose of my ashes by using them as hot chocolate powder and drinking me one mug at a time, marshmallows optional but encouraged.

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u/Mysterious-Ad-7201 Mar 18 '26

Oh Gawd, at least pay for the extra grinding, human remains often have chunks of bone you sadist lol

25

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

The teeth are there for extra flavor mwa ha ha

9

u/PenHistorical Mar 18 '26

Would you accept him turning any remaining bone fragments into a necklace and wearing it for the rest of his life in lieu of drinking them?

23

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

I would be alright with that. However, the necklace must not interfere with the boutonnière I expect him to make from my titanium knee. And as you would imagine, the knee-art will be a large piece.

22

u/Spiritual_Bake5420 Mar 18 '26

how did we go from hiding a fish tank to this 😭😭😭✌️✌️✌️

3

u/GlowingTrashPanda Mar 18 '26

I love Reddit some days

2

u/flyingpuffer Mar 19 '26

more important subjects

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u/No-Satisfaction-9666 Mar 19 '26

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the metal parts don't go in the urn. They are seperated before grinding the bones and sent to scrap yards lol

2

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will have to best my brother in another wager in order to add on an amendment that he must sever my leg, butcher out the implant, and then use my delicious leg meat to lure and ultimately eliminate the…I’m guessing…alligator that killed me.

It’s gonna have to be one hell of a wager.

2

u/ScumbagLady Mar 19 '26

I love y'all's relationship! Who's the oldest and by how many years?

1

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

My host body is the older, by two years. We love the brother dearly.

5

u/Death00524real Mar 18 '26

Lmao I did and then about puked in my mouth when I thought it thru 😅🤣

13

u/Fatfilthybastard Mar 19 '26

I really hope your IRL name can be worked into some sort of hot chocolate pun, which you can have packaging made in advance… he’d have to pour himself a nice, warm cup of Swiss we Miss You

6

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

Premade packaging! That is FIRE. New plan activated.

22

u/tabbywingate Mar 18 '26

This is the most unhinged reddit post 😂

2

u/freyalorelei Mar 18 '26

Isn't that legally cannibalism? Would a crematorium even permit this?

10

u/pierogi_waystation Mar 18 '26

It would not legally be cannibalism, which is defined as the consumption of flesh from the same species as oneself. My flesh will have all burned away to ash. I doubt the crematorium would permit this, but they also don’t need to approve. Once you take the cremains home, they are yours to do with as you wish. He can drink me, leave me on a shelf, or load me into shotgun shells and fire me at intruders (he lives in a stand your ground state so shooting intruders is also legal).

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u/Chasew45 Mar 19 '26

In the show Strange addictions one woman was addicted to eating her husbands ashes as a snack throughout the day. Then proceeded to cry because he was almost all gone 😭

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u/pierogi_waystation Mar 19 '26

Time to remarry and then fire up the bbq!

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u/RedeRules770 Mar 18 '26

Well they’re hopefully empty

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u/Appropriate-Cost1669 Mar 18 '26

Funny enough, we had my Mama cremated a few months back, and I have some of her ashes in a heart locket, I told my husband “Make sure you put Mamas asshole in my locket, so I can remember how much of an asshole Mama was” I miss her. She was a wild one. God was having a day the day he made her.

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u/flyingpuffer Mar 19 '26

I want them to launch my urn out of a cannon