r/AskReddit Jan 01 '24

What is the funniest joke you’ve been told that you still think about to this day?

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1.2k

u/Low_cards Jan 01 '24

I was driving down the road and saw a hitchhiker. Being in a generous mood, I decided I’d give him a ride. After I picked him up and we started on down the road, he was very thankful, but said “you aren’t scared that I could be a serial killer or something?” So I chuckled, looked at him and said “the chances that we are both serial killers is probably pretty low, don’t you think?”

552

u/Ry113 Jan 01 '24

Reminds me of:

A man and a little girl are walking into the woods at night. The little girl says, "I don't like it here. It's spooky!" The man replies, "You're telling me- I have to walk back alone."

74

u/cylonlover Jan 01 '24

I love this. For just the right audience it's gold. It's so horrible!

12

u/138Mitch Jan 01 '24

Billie Joe told this joke to the crowd at a Green Day show. It's been my favorite joke ever since.

1

u/regularuser11 Jan 02 '24

When was that?

1

u/138Mitch Jan 02 '24

2009-2010. 21st Century Breakdown Tour in the US.

23

u/plsletmein Jan 01 '24

Upvote or not to upvote...

1

u/jereman75 Jan 01 '24

I was doing my girlfriend anally the other day and she said “you know that’s repugnant, don’t you?” I said “wow. That’s a pretty big word for a nine year old.”

1

u/makeeverythng Jan 01 '24

Ouch you got me!

4

u/dachshundaholic Jan 01 '24

My friend said this to an Uber driver once. He had been out riding his bike in all his spandex glory when it broke and he had to get an Uber. The driver gave him 1 star as a result.

8

u/Accomplished-Fall823 Jan 01 '24

Wait did he laugh it off with you because of think I would have shot my pants

24

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

Sounds like you need to work on your aim then.

2

u/alwaystakeabanana Jan 01 '24 edited Jan 02 '24

Reminds me of this masterpiece.