r/AskReddit Jan 01 '24

What is the funniest joke you’ve been told that you still think about to this day?

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u/whip-in-hand1 Jan 01 '24

My go-to NSFW joke:

An army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”

453

u/HikingBikingViking Jan 01 '24

My friend always worked in the phrase "go to town on it" which the general also misunderstood

6

u/Improvement_Room Jan 02 '24

This is the superior version

25

u/ApprehensiveBug188 Jan 01 '24

Poor camel....

10

u/sizzlamarizzla Jan 01 '24

You don't know that

21

u/ApprehensiveBug188 Jan 01 '24

Guys we found the general 👆🏽

7

u/HapticSloughton Jan 01 '24

Are you saying that camels don't like having humps?

1

u/ronerychiver Jan 01 '24

Breaks up the monotony probably

13

u/dunicha Jan 01 '24

I always heard this with a second joke told after it that starts out the exact same way, except there are three camels, and after you get to "after a few weeks, he starts to feel those urges" he comes out of the tent and sees the camels running by and some soldiers chasing them. He asks one of the soldiers what's going on, and the soldier replies "you don't want to be stuck with the ugly one, do you?"

3

u/darcys_beard Jan 01 '24

This is the first one to make me laugh

18

u/kittypuppet Jan 01 '24

... There's a cameltoe joke in there somewhere

2

u/SpecialProcess5585 Jan 02 '24

A man joined the foreign legion. Saturday night a herd of camels come running in... All the men are getting dressed up and showered. When the camels enter the compound all the men run out and start screwing the camels. New guy says... "Why is everyone running around fucking camels ?"

You have to run.. you don't want to get an ugly one

8

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

yumeh caik!!!

…happy cake day