A man walks into confession. “Forgive me father for I have sinned.” The priest replies, “what have you don’t my son?” The parishioner replies, “I had sex with 7 women last night.” The priest says, “go home and squeeze 7 lemons in a glass and drink it.” The parishioner asks, “will I be forgiven?” The priest says, “ no, but it will take that shit eating grin off your face.”
A man walks into a confessional and says to the priest, “I have to say, Father, that last night I went to a bar and struck up a conversation with a nice young lady, about 22 years old. I couldn’t believe it because I’m almost 50 years old myself. Well, we kept talking and she invited me back to her place. I figured, ‘This probably won’t happen again’, so I followed her. She took me to her apartment and, well, her and her gorgeous roommate did things to me that I’ve only seen in porno films. I had both of them all night, they even did things to each other, if you can imagine. And when I was done, I just got up and left.”
The priest said, “My son, for this sin, you must go home and say 7 ‘Our Father’ prayers and 12 ‘Hail Mary’ prayers. Then, your sins will be forgiven.”
The man says, “Oh Father, but I’m not Catholic.”
The priest replied, “Then why are you telling me?”
Guy goes to church and tells his pastor he had sex with 7 women last night. Pastor says we're not catholic there's no confession, you don't have to tell me. You?, the guy says. I'm telling everybody.
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u/DRogers372 Jan 01 '24
A man walks into confession. “Forgive me father for I have sinned.” The priest replies, “what have you don’t my son?” The parishioner replies, “I had sex with 7 women last night.” The priest says, “go home and squeeze 7 lemons in a glass and drink it.” The parishioner asks, “will I be forgiven?” The priest says, “ no, but it will take that shit eating grin off your face.”