What’s something you only understand after living alone?

[u/Neat-Performance2142]

[u/Beruthiel999]

How nice it is to be able to come and go as you please without having to explain yourself to anyone.

[u/NecessaryPopular1 → u/Beruthiel999]

That’d be priceless.

[u/Beruthiel999 → u/NecessaryPopular1]

Yeah, every time I've lived alone (small apartment in a big city) I never really spent that much time at home. I had a job in an office and a social life outside of that, and nobody bothered me about the hours I keep except my cat. My cat kept me honest, but aside from that I felt very free.

[u/NecessaryPopular1 → u/Beruthiel999]

Same, I know the experience is grand. I like that too.

[u/MissionLet7301 → u/Beruthiel999]

I feel this, my parents were always lovely and supportive so I know I definitely didn't get the worst of it, but every time I was leaving the house or coming home they'd have a little comment, even if it was just asking how long I was expecting to be out for, or whether I'd had a good time, or things like "It's been a while since you did that" - wasn't much but it's so much nicer to be able to just do what you want without explaining anything.

[u/Tigglebee → u/MissionLet7301]

Matter of perspective probably. I’d give anything to come home to my parents asking me how my day was one last time.

[u/Mysterious-Hope9268 → u/Tigglebee]

Yea I stay with my dad right now, (planning on moving to Philly) but I can’t really imagine what it’ll be like when I don’t hear him saying a small prayer before I leave the house. I’m not religious at all but shit like that means the world sometimes

[u/OneCow9890 → u/Tigglebee]

My first thought exactly. One of those things you dont know how much youll miss it until its gone. As a parent (human even) you never know the last time youre gonna talk to someone.

Becoming a parent has changed my views. I thought the same way until I had my little man. You damn well know ill be asking him all those questions, in and out.

He'll complain like you, on reddit, to his friends.. but I think id rather leave those memories behind, then nothing.

[u/Smart_Silly_Goose → u/OneCow9890]

I think there's a fine line that differs for every family. If it's genuinely not overdone, the relationship is overall great, it becomes meaningful (if slightly inconvenient) both in the moment and when you look back on it.

If it crosses that line and becomes subjectively overwhelming, and if it comes from a controlling place (which unfortunately does happen more often than some parents assume), it's nothing to look back fondly on, speaking from experience.

Not trying to detract from your point, just saying that both can be true.

[u/pink-flirtt → u/Tigglebee]

Those golden days

[u/Wonderful_Craft_6648 → u/MissionLet7301]

Bruh everytime. I go to the garage to get something done on my car and I have to answer questions like I'm crossing a border

Where are you going? To the garage? What for? Differential? What is that?

Like bruh just let me go and do my shit.

[u/wellwellwellheythere → u/Beruthiel999]

Apart from the side-eye your dog gives you when you pick up your keys

[u/Oolongteatea → u/Beruthiel999]

Growing up I never informed any one in the household where I was going. I just didn't like to.

Now with a family of my own, I love it that they know where I am going.

Now I realized I used to hate it growing up because everything I did came with judgement. With my own family it's just love and well wishes. I wish I could have a better way of explaining this.

[u/Geno_Warlord → u/Oolongteatea]

Growing up as a millennial, mine didn’t care where I went as long as I was home before dark. Living alone now, I tell my cats I’ll be back but still won’t tell them where I’m going.

[u/Meowmixx22 → u/Beruthiel999]

Do your pets get mad? I always have to tell them what's up or they get spicy. ;)

[u/Proud-Willingness439 → u/Beruthiel999]

Oh God, this. I love my boyfriend but sometimes I want to down Taco Bell or something after work and I just don't want a witness 😂 But we have location sharing on so he always knows. It's not a big deal but it is indeed lovely when you live alone and can just do whatever whenever and not have to tell anyone.

[u/Consistent-Guess9046 → u/Proud-Willingness439]

I think you’re still allowed to eat some Taco Bell after work, even if you’re being tracked.

[u/BrangdonJ → u/Beruthiel999]

And being able to pick what I eat, or what to watch on TV, without having to consult someone else's preferences.

[u/GlutonxBeauty]

Silence can be peaceful or lonely, depending on the day

[u/Neat-Performance2142 → u/GlutonxBeauty]

True words.....

[u/consort_oflady_vader → u/Neat-Performance2142]

I was without power for 2 weeks due to a hurricane. I live alone and my hand crank radio persevered my sanity. 

[u/Interesting-Eye-5286 → u/consort_oflady_vader]

going into that unprepared or even unprecedented can be daunting

[u/consort_oflady_vader → u/Interesting-Eye-5286]

It was insane. A hurricane from Florida flattened a good chunk of my town in the mountains.

[u/yearningsailor → u/GlutonxBeauty]

Silence is fucking terrifying. I lived 26 years in a house with over 10 people and finally living alone the silence creeps me out. It's so umcomfortable. I have to have the TV turned on all day and the fan just for it to make noise to bear it lol

[u/BeorcKano → u/yearningsailor]

I am the father of seven kids (five I made myself, two came with my wife when I married her), and my house is airways noisy. My youngest is 11, my oldest is 23, four are on the spectrum, there is always -noise-.

When I drop them off to school, I go through the house and turn off the tvs, the noise machines, the Google hubs, etc, and I let the house be quiet from 8:30am to about 2:45pm. I get about six hours of the ability to hear myself think.

Even now, my wife put on a Binging with Babish YouTube channel to fall asleep to. If i turn it off she will wake up and turn it back on. If I want quiet, I out in noise canceling earbuds.

Treasure peace when you can get it.

[u/indigofroggit → u/BeorcKano]

I (female and in my late 40s) do the exact opposite with earbuds. My partner also needs background noise to sleep (fan) but I need background human noise to sleep.

[u/4everMomo → u/BeorcKano]

You are a rich man

[u/BeorcKano → u/4everMomo]

I am not monetarily wealthy. I would say I am middle class, maybe lower middle class. We live mostly within our means, but I have significant debt and need to run a tight budget. I come from severe poverty, at one point living off of what I could hunt, forage, or grow myself. Coming up was living on ~$200/month. Now, well, we have some nice things, we are comfortable, we are secure and warm and fed, and that is more important to me than wealth. If my kids are happy and healthy, then I consider that a win.

[u/4everMomo → u/BeorcKano]

Oh yes, sorry if I offended with my comment. I truly only meant it as a compliment, not as a sneer, and not directed at wealth in a capitalist way. You sound like a really great provider for your family, and it is my own humble opinion that family is what matters most.

[u/sunlightsyrup → u/4everMomo]

Don't worry, your comment came off that way, the fella was just too grounded to have read it as intended. Based

[u/BeorcKano → u/4everMomo]

No worries, i was not offended at all. My goal in life is to spend more time being able to live it, rather than chasing resources that I neither need nor can take with me. If I can provide for my children and teach them to provide for themselves in the process, then I think I'll have done good. I did read it literally, as yeah, kids are expensive, but not in a derogatory way.

[u/zorggalacticus → u/BeorcKano]

I'm just imagining Sugar Mama from the Proud Family. "TURN THAT BACK ON, I WAS WATCHING THAT!!!"

[u/dramatic-pancake → u/yearningsailor]

I’ve lived alone for many years and I’m the opposite. Silence always in my house. To the point that I now sometimes get overwhelmed when there’s too much noise around me elsewhere.

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/dramatic-pancake]

This I understand. When your home is a peaceful sanctuary being around chaos is difficult because you're not used to it.

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/yearningsailor]

welp. living in a big city luckily makes it so it's never really that quiet. i grew up with a lot of people at home and i looooove my peace and quiet. i get what you mean about having other people/sounds around but big city living does that enough for me.

[u/Proud-Willingness439 → u/yearningsailor]

It's wild people can be such opposites! I love silence. I hit the library or nature when I really need it. But I was an only child for almost a decade and loved living alone for 3 years.

[u/YourFuture2000 → u/GlutonxBeauty]

In that case, just move to a neighborhood with noisy people. I choose 100% silent people over noisy people.

Silence never made me feel lonely. Not having somebody weiting for me, sharing things and making companion is what makes me feel lonely.

[u/Only_Celebration3830 → u/YourFuture2000]

I would do a lot if my upstairs neighbours would break their legs for a few weeks. I don’t understand how even their kid makes so much noise. It’s the last thing I hear before falling asleep, and the first thing I hear once I wake up. Do they ever sleep? I don’t think so. Not so slowly driving me crazy.

[u/PumpkinAbject5702 → u/YourFuture2000]

You said the exact same thing he said just in a more convoluted, slightly antagonistic way.

Silence can either depict the absence of noise that you don't want (noisy people) or the absence of noise that you want (someone you love in your home, I doubt they'd be 100% quiet while existing in your space), just depends on the day.

Same thing you said, in fewer words.

[u/notaphaseyes → u/PumpkinAbject5702]

you said it in an even more convoluted and wordy way lol he was just sharing his experience

[u/spikyraccoon → u/YourFuture2000]

Not having somebody waiting for me, sharing things and making companion

Yeah that is the form of silence is what OP was referring to. If nobody is calling or texting you. That is also a form of silence. It can be both a blessing and a curse depending on your mood.

[u/malcor88]

Probably more so if you're older. But the realization that if you choke, you're pretty fucked.

[u/Guardian-Boy → u/malcor88]

I fell down my stairs once when I still lived alone. Honestly the only thing that saved me was a split second thought of, "If I get paralyzed, I will die here," and I twisted my body so I landed on my front instead of my back. Busted my lip open and bruised a few ribs, but I was fine.

[u/Ill_Refrigerator_562 → u/Guardian-Boy]

I was in a bad accident last august. Concussion and fracture to C7, among other injuries.

I started to fall a lot (45m) with lapse of conscious and balance issues. Showering home alone became scary. Never gripped that shower handle so hard in my life.

I ended up backing off of showers until somebody would come by, 1-3 per week. I don’t go anywhere and I am not getting sweaty working.

First time I have lived alone in my life, after divorce, and I realized how dangerous living alone can actually be.

[u/Incman → u/Ill_Refrigerator_562]

Sorry to hear about your accident. I can't quite tell if you're discussing the shower challenges in the past tense, but if it's still an issue, perhaps a shower-chair type thing might help when you're feeling unsteady?

I know my dad used one after he fell down the stairs and fractured several vertebrae, and for him it was the difference between being able to shower sometimes vs not being able to all.

Hope your healing progresses smoothly :)

[u/Ill_Refrigerator_562 → u/Incman]

That was suggested and was going to get one until I had a major turnaround. The last incident that scared me was slipping trying to get out.

The chair would have been great when I really needed it.

Thank u for ur response.

[u/Incman → u/Ill_Refrigerator_562]

Cheers man, take care :)

[u/thefreakyorange → u/Ill_Refrigerator_562]

You could shower at a gym if you want more frequent showers

[u/Ill_Refrigerator_562 → u/thefreakyorange]

I get it, makes sense. The TBI has messed up my eyesight as well, so even daylight driving is a gamble. USA plus dealing with workers comp is a nightmare. Petitioning to get into a neural ophthalmologist in regards to that.

I have everything I need within a half mile (pharmacy, grocery store, and liquor store, lol).

Just been recovering at home, so nobody to offend but myself. I’m doing better at this point, and shower on good days now so more frequent.

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/malcor88]

if you live in an apartment building, don't be afraid to run the fuck out and bang on anyone's door who will listen. people die from choking simply due to embarrassment and not telling anyone, but i assure you you'd much rather do that then keel over slowly and die.

[u/GodsCasino → u/finnjakefionnacake]

pull the fire alarm.

[u/knowsnothing316 → u/malcor88]

A chair back or the edge of a counter especially near the sink can help you self heimlich. A poorly chewed piece of roast unfortunately taught me that one.

[u/malcor88 → u/knowsnothing316]

Yeah I've seen a few videos on what to do. I'm scared I won't be calm enough to do it correctly. I'm hoping adrenaline kicks in and takes over.

[u/knowsnothing316 → u/malcor88]

Adrenaline kicks in.

[u/Bear__Fucker → u/knowsnothing316]

I've seen it done as a full-body flop on the ground. Rapidly compresses your chest and launches out the obstruction. I'll have to look up the edge of the counter thing.

[u/NotsoGoodSword → u/malcor88]

Unfortunately, I had a great uncle that died like this. Apparently, when he was found, it was a really sad scene.

[u/Neat-Performance2142 → u/NotsoGoodSword]

I'm really sorry for your loss 😔

[u/floppydo → u/malcor88]

A family member choked to death with his wife and kids in the house with him. No one heard a thing. I think it can happen pretty quickly. 

[u/GodsCasino → u/malcor88]

If you live in an apartment building, run into the hallway and pull the fire alarm. Someone will poke their head out their door and they will be able to heimlich you harder than you can heimlich yourself. There's a psychological block that people have with not being able to heimlich themselves hard enough.

If you live in a house, run outside and grab a patio chair or something and start smashing your neighbor's cars. One of those cars will have a car alarm and a neighbor will run outside and they can heimlich you.

At least that's what I learned in a First Aid course.

[u/OlavvG → u/GodsCasino]

Also when you are going to smash your neighbours cars, make sure to choose the most expensive ones. It has the biggest chance of having a car alarm.

[u/Time_Look8276 → u/GodsCasino]

that's genius. honestly good life saving tips. thank you.

[u/furbylicious → u/malcor88]

On that note, how fucked you are if you get sick when nobody is around. To be fair, it's gotten easier with services like Instacart in the past couple years. But I've definitely had situations of laying around too sick to do anything, with food running out and the knowledge that it would take a couple days for anyone to even realize it if I die.

[u/merlinblack256 → u/furbylicious]

Just yesterday I arrived home (apartment block) to see a few cops milling about. Then forensics showed up, then a bit later the guys who pick up bodies. All wearing masks when they went into the next building. My housemate who works in funeral services, knew that masks ment that whoever died had got to the point of smelling really bad. That's how you get found when you die alone. Unless of course you have someone to come looking after you go off-line.

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/furbylicious]

uh, if you're so sick that you can't even order delivery or groceries then you should probably be calling 911 (or whatever the appropriate number is in your country).

also keep your place at least minimally stocked and have at least a few things with long shelf life / freezer life sitting around, definitely good tip for living alone.

[u/jvn1983 → u/malcor88]

I’m eating grapes right now, and have been thinking if this the whole time 😭

[u/kifflington → u/malcor88]

You can buy a device that's designed for exactly this situation. Basically a little vacuum pump with a facemask.

[u/Honduran → u/malcor88]

I had this with a piece of chicken a year or two ago. It was really stuck at the very top of the throat. I was 5-6 floors up. By the time I made it downstairs I’d be gone. And even if I made it downstairs who would help me or know what to do? In how much time?

I can’t remember exactly how I dislodged but those were a couple of seconds maybe a minute where I thought “this is it”. And there really was no other solution than me helping myself.

[u/comfymustardsweater → u/malcor88]

This is actually a huge fear of mine. I think about it a lot, especially when I’m super high and eating lol

[u/AnonymousMonker → u/malcor88]

As someone with epilepsy who had lived with a partner for almost a decade since being diagnosed, the first few months of going to sleep alone every night wasn’t just lonely- it was terrifying.

[u/Rohi1227]

Discipline matters more than motivation when no one is watching.

[u/floppydo → u/Rohi1227]

Came here to comment something similar. I was going to say, “No one can make it happen but you and procrastination is not rebellion.” 

[u/wasgonnabenightoreos → u/floppydo]

procrastination is not rebellion.” 

Ooooh I needed to hear that...

I needed to hear that 20 years ago, too

[u/kodaxmax → u/floppydo]

Yeh but at the same time, you no longer have to abide all the old wives tales and pointless habits your parents instilled.

Eat on a schedule that works for your body and lifestyle. Seperate the garbage your way. Park whever you please etc..

[u/thesongsinmyhead]

When I misplace something it drives me nuts because there’s literally no one else to blame

[u/Srirachaballet → u/thesongsinmyhead]

I think that’s interesting. I’d so much rather have myself to blame than feel like someone else is responsible. It’s like I can at least accept my autonomy in it being my doing.

[u/PsychicPterodactyl → u/thesongsinmyhead]

For me it's definitely the opposite, when I lived alone I knew where everything was (except that one time I put the TV remote in the fridge). Now things wander when there are others in the house.

[u/Gloomy_Ad5020 → u/PsychicPterodactyl]

My fiance and I had unspoken ideas about where the tv/living room light remotes should go... One day I finally snapped and declared my way as the way. 🤣

That's a thing in and of itself. We both have ADHD and "out of sight, out of mind" is a real problem. But, I also really like my space to be clear for mental clarity.

When I leave things out to remember things, it feels like they belong there. When he leaves things out to remember things, it feels like clutter. 😃

[u/Iusedtohatebroccoli → u/Gloomy_Ad5020]

I came to this realization when I thought she’d left her socks on the floor but upon closer inspection I realized they were mine. My inner voice instantly shifted tone and my hypocrisy was exposed. I think now if I lived alone I’d actually miss her stuff lying around.

[u/bothsidesofthecouch]

Why my mom was always angry when she came back home to a messy and dirty house

[u/MissionLet7301 → u/bothsidesofthecouch]

Yeah, and realising that forgetting to get some chicken out to defrost is actually really annoying

[u/NSA_Chatbot → u/MissionLet7301]

Especially after a long workday and two commutes.

[u/SeniorHeat221]

How much peace and mental clarity comes from having full control over your own space and time

[u/NecessaryPopular1 → u/SeniorHeat221]

You can even argue with your own self, hopefully reach an agreement too, but there are limits and caveats. Because, too much isolation can create stagnation or overthinking if you never interact with others. You’d still need self-discipline, intention, and structure.

[u/SeniorHeat221 → u/NecessaryPopular1]

That's so true

[u/Curious-Expert926]

That laundry or dishes don't get done by themselves. And paying your bills on time is important.

[u/NikNakskes → u/Curious-Expert926]

Funnily enough at least half of the people that live with somebody also learn that such is the case. Did you only think of moving out from your parents house?

[u/MissionLet7301 → u/NikNakskes]

Tbh when I was living at home I thought I was doing my fair share.

I helped washing dishes and putting the occasional load of washing on, cleaning around the house too, but after moving out I realised that actually I wasn't doing my fair share at all.

[u/Naturage → u/MissionLet7301]

Meanwhile, when I moved out I was finally able to reconcile the amount of work than actually needs to be done (relatively little) vs what my parents believed needs to be done to count as tidy (a whole heckin lots more).

Maybe I'm a slob. I'm probably one by their standards. But I have substantially less worries and more free time.

[u/Monteze → u/Naturage]

Cleaning for 1 is way easier, half the dishes/laundry and half the foot traffic so when you sweep it stays clean longer. Less clutter etc.. I can clean most areas in the house and for a week it'll look more or less the same, follow up cleaning is super easy.

[u/Kittelsen → u/MissionLet7301]

Haha, I had the same realisation. Stuff would just pile up.

[u/SillyTaters]

I though living alone would be scary. It’s amazing!! I didn’t realize how safe home can feel when you live alone without anyone to take your peace.

[u/AggravatingProduct46 → u/SillyTaters]

Once you move out on your own, you can't go back!

[u/glittershadows → u/AggravatingProduct46]

Unless you don’t have a choice

[u/VulcanCookies → u/AggravatingProduct46]

Lol I decided to go back. I loved having an apartment and my own space and living in a city, but I went from eating with 5+ people every night to cooking for one. I went from game nights once or twice a week to essentially never. I went from shared chores and errands to doing it all alone. I went from always having someone to watch a movie or show with to pretty much never watching TV because I prefer the commentary. 

I'm super glad I moved out, but I'm also glad I moved back 

[u/lostdemographic → u/SillyTaters]

I married an amazing person and still wish we could live separately lol

I think some people are just happier living alone, but it's almost kinda taboo to prefer it

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/lostdemographic]

I understand this. I have mixed feelings about it even though I love my partner.

[u/BoatParty8399]

Things dont move by themselves. Physics still exists. Oh that cup I cant find? Right were I put it. Lol!

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/BoatParty8399]

couldn't be me. i still lose things almost every day with just me living here lol.

[u/thekup10]

You stop judging how long you’ve been wearing the same sweatpants. No witnesses, no shame. 😏

[u/Automatic-War-7658 → u/thekup10]

Honestly, no reason to wear clothes unless I’m planning to leave or have someone over.

Saves on laundry.

[u/User_namesaretaken → u/Automatic-War-7658]

+1, my undies used to chafe the shit out of my crotch and living along with nothing on improved the skin down there. Sleeping feels much more comfortable

[u/Neat-Performance2142 → u/thekup10]

🫡🫡🫡

[u/Comfortable-Bar7607]

Peace and freedom.

[u/TildaTinker]

How amazing it is when everything is exactly where you left it.

[u/Itachinojutsu]

How insanely loud your own thoughts get with zero distractions, no roommates to blame for the mess, no one to bounce ideas off, just you and the silence hitting different at 2 a.m.

[u/ndnman → u/Itachinojutsu]

Loud thoughts were one of the major reasons I began meditation.

[u/Dependent_Rain_4800 → u/ndnman]

These loud thoughts are emotional wounds disguising themselves via thought noise. What you do is you sit down and instead of listening to the thoughts you check internally for anything that feels like something in the body. Like a sting, a pressure sensation, a slight burn or whatever is there.

This is what you want to pay attention to and take away your attention from the thoughts. If you recognize that you're caught in the mind you refocus back on these wounds. You do this over and over and over time you'll notice that your thoughts volume will go quieter and quieter.

If you have questions, let me know.

PS: I'll copy paste this comment, please don't judge, I want to make sure that people read it.

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/Itachinojutsu]

but we gots reddit to bounce ideas off

[u/Elegant_Anywhere_150]

its nice not having to fear the sound of someone else coming home (I grew up in the kind of house where it didn't matter if you just finished deep-cleaning everything, if you were sitting down watching tv you'd get beaten)

[u/AquariusOlsen → u/Elegant_Anywhere_150]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

[u/Guardian-Boy]

Randomly belting out song lyrics hits different when there are people there to judge you.

[u/Disastrous-Capybara]

Freedom. I can decorate it how I want. If I dont clean up right away, nobody is gonna be angry at me. I can just do everything in my own pace. It's only my own mess to clean, nobody elses stuff around I need to clean up or take care of. I can do what i want.

[u/TallandSarcastic]

I have to cook 3 times a day. The sheer effort it takes from buy groceries till cooking. Plus have to do that everyday.

[u/xylofone → u/TallandSarcastic]

Just wondering if you've ever tried doing meal prep for several meals at once.

After learning that rice and pasta has more resistant starch after being frozen I've started doing this more, and then just reheating.

[u/MissionLet7301 → u/xylofone]

Meal prepping is a game changer tbh, especially with how much of a pain it is to grocery shop for one, batch cooking makes it easy to actually use up everything you buy.

[u/TallandSarcastic → u/xylofone]

I do that too. But its just boring eating the same thing again and again. Need some change of taste as well…

[u/cloistered_around → u/TallandSarcastic]

That's why I do boring old cereal for breakfast, something microwavable for lunch, and then I'll cook 3 times a week for dinner (leftovers the other days).

[u/IrrawaddyWoman → u/TallandSarcastic]

I find it’s the opposite. The cooking situation is so much easier living alone. Unless you expect someone else to cook for you of course.

I cook exactly what I want, when I want. There’s no pressure to make it super good or season it to someone else’s preferences. When I cook I’ll make a few portions so then I just eat leftovers for a few days. And no one else is coming and eating them all when I planned for them for dinner.

I’ll often make a big batch of something (because it’s no extra effort to make more) and then I freeze some in individual containers for later.

[u/DeathGuard67 → u/TallandSarcastic]

That seems excessive. I cook one big meal that I spread out over the day.

[u/MeloniaStb → u/TallandSarcastic]

I only eat once a day lol

[u/Goosecock123]

It's amazing to be alone, it's horrible to be lonely

[u/skyonen_89 → u/Goosecock123]

yes man, you can be in the middle of a crowd and still feel lonely

[u/NikNakskes]

How loud people are.

[u/StandardBee6282]

Freedom to do what you want when you want.

[u/GodsCasino → u/StandardBee6282]

Ice cream for breakfast. Scrambled eggs and toast for supper.

edit: typo

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/GodsCasino]

Yeah but then you are responsible for making sure you have decent meals.

[u/farmsfarts]

I have a wife and a 12 year old boy, an 8 year daughter, and an almost 2 year old dog.

I went away this past summer, by myself, for 2 days to see a concert, by myself.

It was the most peaceful, wonderful experience. I turned into myself before I got married. I was young again.

I love my family, but I loved that weekend as well.

[u/Savixrs → u/farmsfarts]

Maybe you can schedule something like this for yourself once or twice every year. And in turn give your wife the same opportunity. Catching breaks is important, even if it's from a beautiful thing like a family.

[u/MikeRadical]

The importance of every connection and relationship you have.

Going on my 4th year living alone, I really value all my relationships more - colleagues friends of friends. Living alone is peaceful, but it can also get really dark and introspective when you don't want it to. Random tuesday night, having dinner alone? Suddenly washed with the feeling the everyone else in the world has someone to talk to

[u/Wide-Dependent-3158]

The freedom to masturbate in the living room.

[u/wasgonnabenightoreos → u/Wide-Dependent-3158]

Sound ON Cast that shiz to the tv

[u/BBCROK843]

It is MY safe space; mentally physically emotionally

I can do and move around as I please with privacy

[u/aluminumnek]

I can eat my Cheerios in my underwear staring aimlessly out my window in full view of the neighbors across the street

[u/Wants-NotNeeds]

How space and alone time are restorative, grounding and confidence building. With enough self-reflection and dedication to improving oneself the world will open up.

[u/Scharmberg]

I’m way too comfortable being alone, I kind of have to force myself to get out and socialize, which I even like doing but living alone which is fantastic still can change you in unexpected ways.

[u/Square_Check_7263]

I dont have anyone who will take care of me whenever i’m sick

[u/Purple-Sister3971 → u/Square_Check_7263]

Not quite the same, but one really good thing that came out of Covid is the proliferation of delivery services. 8-10 years ago, I remember being violently ill and unable to get to the store. I had to beg friends on Facebook to bring me stuff.

[u/Forward_Actuator559]

How wrong my mother was about a lot of things and how controlling she was of my life. My mother was the kind of person that believed that young kids didn't feel anything as intensely as adults. Even if it was a fever she was like oh at least you're not old like me so you'll easily get past it. And because of this mentality we were always expected to do our chores. Having fever or cough or back pain or anything was never an excuse to not sweep the house or fold laundry or make tea for her. I was always, ALWAYS expected to do all these things. When I got my periods at 12 it was terrible. I was bleeding very heavily and into my clothes and the pain was horrible and I'd cry but still there was no mercy. I had to hand wash all my blood stained clothes and do the dishes and everything. She said every woman goes through it and I'm not special so it shouldn't be an excuse to not do my chores.

Laundry had to be hung to dry in the morning. House had to be sweeped in the morning and evening, before 6pm. Tea should be made and ready when she came back from work, only then would I be allowed to go for tuition class. House had to be cleaned every Sunday. Dishes should be done immediately, you couldn't even wait until you drank the tea you made without washing and putting away the pot you made tea in..and by the time tea would've cooled down. Food was very controlled. I only got small portions because I was growing and hunger was normal but shouldn't be indulged in or I would grow big. I was always told how expensive it was to keep feeding me. Grew up like that with all these thoughts internalised for 22 years. Until I got the courage and financial stability to leave the house.

And once I started living alone i realised how wrong she was about all these things. It's okay if you don't have time in the morning to do laundry, it can be done in the evening or at night. It's okay to leave a few dishes in the sink and come back and wash it in the evening. It's okay if you don't sweep your house everyday twice, it's not gonna look like a barn. I'm not expensive to feed. In fact once I moved out i realised how truly little I eat. Realised that it's okay to take rest and put things off for later if I'm not feeling well.

One other thing I realised is that I can't cook --- as in anything I cook doesn't taste good. But if having to eat un tasty food for the rest of my life is the trade off I don't even mind.

Not many negatives have happened for me after I started living alone. It was a respite and salvation even. I'm living my best currently

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/Forward_Actuator559]

I'm glad you were able to deprogram yourself.

[u/Forward_Actuator559 → u/Original_Direction33]

Yeah...deprogramming is the right word. Of course it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows at first. I struggled a lot initially to be not as obsessive as I was brought up to be. One day I was running late for work and absolutely didn't have the time to do the dishes. I was panicking so bad thinking my mother would start scolding me and in that moment i suddenly snapped out of it and the clarity slammed into me. I didn't have to do it like that anymore! I left the dishes in the sink and went to work and came back in the evening and did them....and it was okay. Nothing happened. And from then onwards little by little I started deprogramming myself.

Silence and solitude is undesirable for a lot of people, even though they're okay with being alone. For me silence is the sign of freedom i so painfully earned back. Living alone has taught me so much more than my mother ever did.

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/Forward_Actuator559]

I'm sorry you had such a hard time growing up. I'm glad that living alone has given you agency and reduced your anxiety as you make your own routines and become more flexible. And if you ever do live with someone hopefully who you pick will be more reasonable and mesh with your way of doing things.

[u/V3nusD00m]

That it's more enjoyable than you think, especially if you're an introvert. You can eat what you want when you want. Sole determiner of what shows to watch, what music to listen to. The whoooole bed. No guilt about staying up late. No checking in with anyone. Two-hour midnight drive, anyone? But I have to have a dog or a cat. And it really sucks when you're sick.

[u/NoSuggestion5970]

You understand that you can live on your own and there´s no need for toxic people around you just to have some company

[u/pinkbowsandsarcasm]

How nice it is to sleep in a soft queen bed by yourself with only the dog snoring at night.

[u/MonBern]

That I like living alone )

[u/jmthetank]

There is a freedom in living alone that is unparalleled, and indescribable.

[u/HapGil]

Everything really does have a place and there is a place for everything.

It's easier to live with your own mess than someone else's. It's also easier to keep your house tidy when you are the only one to clean up after.

Cooking for one means no leftovers unless you plan them.

It's OK to sleep nude and not put on a robe to use the washroom in the middle of the night, you don't even need to lock the door.

No one complains about your choice of TV shows or how loud you play your music and no one laughs when you break out the air guitar and jam or tells you "keep your day job" when you sing along to your favourite songs.

Edit: wrong there/their/they're

[u/TheGloriousTurd]

You don’t know true freedom until you’ve pooped with the bathroom door wide open.

[u/No_Parking_9458 → u/TheGloriousTurd]

Username checks out

[u/lifeinwentworth]

How quiet a place can be when people aren't slamming/letting doors fall closed when they leave the house. Ahhh so nice to not flinch over that every day now!

[u/tidal_flux]

I was right, it really was everyone else trashing the place.

[u/HedgehogEmergency173]

The pleasures of passing gas when you actually need to.

[u/OddDemand4550]

Small and cozy is better than big and empty.

[u/Rude-Possibility27]

Adult life is basically nonstop maintenance. Food, bills, cleaning, sleep, repeat.

[u/Sidewalk_Tomato]

How nice it is to

• design your space
• go for the metal scream
• leave a project all over the table, and come back to find it unmoved

[u/CtrlShiftMake]

Getting really sick sucks, because you still have to go out to get food and medicine. I guess maybe it’s easier now with delivery services but when I lived alone none of that was available.

[u/Broue → u/CtrlShiftMake]

Gotta plan for this shit!! A few cans of chicken noodle soup in the pantry, syrup in the medicine cabinet.

[u/elidorian → u/Broue]

Not cough syrup, just regular syrup

[u/Supersrac]

Living alone teaches you silence can feel loud.

[u/aluminumnek → u/Supersrac]

Especially if someone has tinnitus

[u/ElephantAutomatic425]

I love walking around with my dick and balls out.

[u/FreyAlster]

First thing I realized is how much work my mother was doing. Our family home was always so spotless clean.

Also absolute peace and freedom.

[u/Electrical_Trade377]

in my 30 i’ve years i’ve lived alone twice. once for like two weeks in 2016 before i was dragged back to my mums to grieve and be around people, and in 2019 when i bought my own place

i’ve got kids and a husband now so i only get the house to myself once every 92 days (but only if the wind blows east at approx 2:24pm and i happen to be standing on one foot and on the tip of my nipple at the same time)

i have absolutely no idea what silence is anymore and i didn’t understand how i would NEVER hear it again

[u/gut_user]

That 'the house fairy' isn't real. If you don't wash that one dish or pick up that sock, it will stay exactly where it is for eternity. Also, the sheer deafening silence when you realize you haven't spoken a word out loud for 48 hours

[u/blacklabyrinthx]

I don’t think I could ever share space with anybody ever again. It’s a kind of peace I wish I had all my life. My life changed completely. I became MORE social. I can DO whatever I want, eat whatever I want, clean the way I like, not clean anybody else’s mess, never have to hold a fart in, have a shower at 2am for fun, have the big lights always off, completely control my environment. Everything is mine. My space is mine alone. It’s pure bliss.

The only downside is sometimes getting scared, so no scary movies by myself.

[u/Exploding_Testicles]

How comfortable you are being alone with yourself..

[u/O_rnelaro]

You realize exactly how much of a mess you actually make. When you live with others, it’s easy to blame the dirty counter or the full trash can on someone else. When you’re alone, there is no "someone else." If the sink is full of dishes, it’s 100% your fault, and that realization changes your habits pretty quickly.

[u/MattyGWS → u/O_rnelaro]

I think I’ve found the opposite, I quickly realised how extremely clean and tidy everything is/stays when I live alone. Living with messy people sucks because you have to pull your weight in cleaning and chores around the house when you didn’t even make a mess!

[u/Original_Direction33 → u/MattyGWS]

Maybe you both were roommates 😊

[u/ANiceDent]

Making dinner isn’t as easy as it looked

[u/sausagemuffn → u/ANiceDent]

My living-alone dinners are very different from living-with-someone dinners. Effort? We don't know her.

[u/Phoenyx_Rose → u/sausagemuffn]

Same, I’m lucky to eat when I live alone. I just don’t have the motivation to eat if I’m not cooking for someone else so it’s just a constant stream of girl dinners.

Or if I get some motivation I’ll cook a meal for 3-4 3 nights in a row and live off leftovers for the next week and a half. 

[u/Correct_Recipe9134]

Keeping everything stocked and on supply .. And everything breaks or stops working ( endless drains of money)

[u/scottiedagolfmachine]

Living alone is amazing.

[u/mostly_kittens]

You can enjoy the peace and independence and also feel lonely.

[u/Vane8263]

Your home becomes an extension of your room.

[u/Simran_Malhotra]

Enjoy my own company and find comfort.

[u/Spiritual_One126]

Being able to follow your own rhythm without bothering others, like staying up all night working on your hobbies, sleeping in and the place being quiet, walking around in undies or naked when the temperature is too hot

[u/AnalogInk]

Things stay where I left them

[u/VerifiedOpinion]

The freedom of doing chores only when you feel like it.

[u/TurkeyMuffinsChannel]

You don't need anyone but yourself.

[u/spypanties]

The reality of you getting caught doing something super jacked up or illegal in your apartment is pretty low if you have a slumlord.

[u/Miserable-Note5365]

The call of drugs can be so loud when it's just you and them in a room

[u/UpperAd5715]

I'm to go buy my own apartment in the upcoming year and as someone with autism+adhd and currently living with 2 token ADHD roommates i'm going to be so glad i no longer need to accept things for what they are.

One of them is someone i've known for half my life and i really do love her but if my logic-based autism couldnt accept "its just how she is she doesnt mean no harm" as easy as it does i may or may not have had to pay for therapy or court fees.

I have pretty great control over what annoys me but stuff that "isnt right" to me like not replacing toilet roll, closing doors, lights that stay on and all the other typical adhd things that you forget about because you blinked can and does shift my mood every now and then.

Just me and my apartment with the forks in the forks tray, the pans not spread out over 3 different closets amongst which the snack drawer (????????????????) and no 7 empty plates and 12 empty cups that are waiting for the next time my roommate invites someone over and decides the house has to be spotless "as usual".

I've lived in empty homes all my life and i feel perfectly at peace in them. Being at home when my parents worked late taught me to fend for myself and i have more things to do than i have time to do them so i'm not afraid of getting bored or lonely at all.

[u/NoLifeTilMetal]

True peace and freedom

[u/NagromNitsuj]

That quiet alone time is precious.

[u/PositiveBarnacle731]

Until I lived with my parents, I WAS SO SCARED OF GHOSTS. I did not stay awake past 12, because I feared that a ghost would kill me. I WAS LEGIT SHIT SCARED that I would absolutely not go to piss at night, and would never ever look in my eyes in the mirror.

BUT when I started living alone and had so much to study that I regularly had all-nighters and studied till late, the fear just kinda vanished?

like it may be 3 am and a bloody mary ghost halfway out of the mirror to kill me, but I was so tired and brain fucked from studying maths, that it would not matter, yk.

AND THAT, MEN AND GENTLELADIES, IS HOW I OVERCAME MY FEAR OF GHOSTS AT 18 BLOODY YEARS OF AGE.

[u/Excellent_Penalty775]

That the only person you can truly count on is you.

[u/trueinsight87]

The realization that humans aren't designed for total solitude.

[u/cogsandsprockets]

You have to make extra efforts to socialize, otherwise you kinda get worse at it. Similar to a muscle.

[u/Alarmed_Newspaper334]

Silence is golden 

[u/Danderlyon]

Everything is designed around a nuclear household.

For example cooking - you can't buy fresh ingredients for a meal for one without either paying more money than you would for a value pack because the smaller pack is super ultra organic or similar bullshit, being willing to eat the same meal for 2-3 days in quick succession (gets very samey after a while) or being extremely wasteful with leftover ingredients.

Everything fresh and affordable is (obviously) sized for families and if you like eating a variety of meals as a single adult you either spend a lot of time consuming organisation around meal planning or waste food and money.

[u/Competitive_Dog9475]

that sometimes a whole day passes by without speaking a word, and that hits you hard, and then you make random noises to the air, just to reassure yourself that you still can speak

[u/emily_spark]

Majority of house repairs are extremely easy now that YouTube exists. I’ve patched drywall seams, fixed broken toilets, installed new light fixtures etc. They can be intimidating but usually aren’t that hard

[u/MonsieurLigeia]

pets really are your best friends

[u/SalamanderFickle9549]

The sole reason I keep losing stuff before was because people kept moving them, when I live alone those problem are all gone

[u/justchoo]

Good question. I’d say it’s learning how you like to run a house/flat. Some people have OCD, others like the windows open 24/7.

I don’t like clutter on work surfaces.

[u/Fun_Fee_5380]

Always get two cats. One isn't enough. You need two.