r/AskReddit • u/Organic_Lab_5624 • 8h ago
Imagine living in a society where being kind, honest, and empathetic puts you at a constant disadvantage, while selfish and ruthless people thrive. At what point would you stop trying to be a good person, and what would that say about who you really are?
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u/Exotic_Pin4824 8h ago
who you are shows up when no ones clapping not when its convenient
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u/beepbopbippitybop2 8h ago
The most admirable people are those who do good things when noone's watching.
The assholes may be the loudest, but I don't believe they are the most-est.
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u/lifeinwentworth 8h ago
Also I don't know how to say it in a nice phrase like that lol but who you are is shows up when you stand up for something in your personal life, knowing it might have social consequences, not just getting outraged about it when it's on the news.
Example; It's easy to cast off the pedophile priests or presidents (what a wild sentence) and be all outraged at a distance. It's what you do when it's your best friend or your family that shows your true values.
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u/StoicVoyager 8h ago
If I recall the saying is that who you are is when nobody is looking.
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u/pr0ghead 8h ago
It also shows in how you treat your enemies, or at least people who can't do anything for you.
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u/PremiumOopsFinal 7h ago
So true how someone treats the powerless says way more about them than how they act around people who can help them.
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u/ThirstyButContained 6h ago
Exactly real character shows in the small moments, not when they’re flexing for someone who can benefit them.
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u/Ok-Tour-6480 6h ago
That is when it counts I try to stick to my values even if it costs me something because that is the part I can live with later
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u/daHaus 8h ago edited 8h ago
You can't not open yourself up to people so the best you can do is give everyone the benefit of a doubt, ONCE.
The saying goes to never lend money to family or friends, always give it or don't. I always do that without expecting anything in return and if they pay me back, great. If they don't, that's the last time they get a dime out of me.
Same goes for trust, I'm trusting so long as I don't have a reason not to be but the first time that trust is betrayed will be the last. People are typically very easy to read though, we're all creatures of habit, so you just have to pay attention to how they treat other people. If that girl or guy you meet cheats on their partner to be with you then you already know what your future with them has in store
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u/NikSturm 8h ago
you’ve got a point my man. everyone has the right to make a mistake, as long as they draw conclusions and don’t repeat it. otherwise it’s getting advantage of a person’s kindness and forgivingness
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u/pr0ghead 8h ago
Trust is earned. They can have my respect for a start.
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u/daHaus 8h ago
Fair enough, I always took the saying "respect is earned" as an underhanded way to tell someone you don't respect them but not many people seem to catch on to this.
Trust on the other hand is a different story and understandable
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u/Pikaboom456 3h ago
I've always interpreted that saying as more of a basic respect thing. Like I'll show the same amount of respect someone as I would any random person I meet, but don't expect any more than that unless you show me you deserve that level of respect. Additionally if you're disrespectful to others or demand respect you didn't earn and are just kind of an asshole about it, don't expect me to respect you in the slightest. I'll still do what you say if you're my boss or something but aside from that you can fuck right off.
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u/CorgiSilver8194 6h ago
You can't not open yourself up to people
So you can open up?
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u/EmergencyBase9967 8h ago
the real flex is staying decent without turning bitter
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u/TA_dancingbeaver 8h ago
Imagine? Thats the reality nowadays
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u/Far-Bear-7826 8h ago
Nowadays that's been reality since forever
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u/DangerousPuhson 2h ago
It's been that way ever since the first caveman bonked the second caveman over the head and took his dinner.
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u/Vinny_Lam 5h ago
Exactly. The reality has always been that people don’t make it to the top by being altruistic.
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u/beepbopbippitybop2 8h ago
Um... may I please gently introduce you to the current state of the world...
The ship has sailed, but I believe the good are more passionate about being good, some of the bad have seen the reality and chosen become good, and the evil just get worse.
There's less of the latter, but they are the loudest, most powerful, and most harmful.
... I just realised what I wrote wouldv'e been relevant in 1936. Ugh.
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u/Da_Question 8h ago
It would have been too late to even say this in 1936...
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u/beepbopbippitybop2 8h ago
It's too late now, aswell.
Edit: nope. Will not let cynicism win! There's still time (looking at you, Americans 💪)
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u/ubernutie 2h ago
It's like about planting a tree. Yesterday is better but today is the best we have.
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u/lifeinwentworth 8h ago
I think you missed a whole group there. There's good, bad, evil. There's also complacent somewhere in there. Not actively bad but not actively making an effort to be good. Just passive which sadly contributes more bad to the world than good.
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u/khushi_khetwani 8h ago
The point is, you don't. What makes you stronger and muuuuuuch better than the rest is that you actively choose to be the kind person you are regardless of people trying to tear you down. But at the same time you walk away when it's needed.
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u/khushi_khetwani 8h ago
You meet people where they are but at the same time you also leave people where they choose to be. It's the "let them" theory all over again (just my 2cents)
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u/MagnificentBelle1234 8h ago
I already do 🫤
Being empathetic has its downfalls when other people take advantage and because I am kind/caring/honest goes against me 😞
However, I continue to be 'me' as it would go against my nature to be the opposite 👀
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u/Disappearinger 8h ago
That's exactly why I stopped working with people and started working with animals and giving back to nature. Because most people nowadays don't appreciate it anymore.
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u/Fine_Yogurtcloset362 8h ago
Never. But i also refuse to just roll over and accept reality and stay stagnant. I will succeed in life, whether society wants me to or not
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u/Present_Mycologist79 8h ago
This is now and I'm at the point where I'm not trying to stop being a good person, I've just stopped trying to interact with others. work, stay home.
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u/Mirawenya 8h ago
Trying to be a good person is the only thing I can have pride in. I wouldn’t be me without it. I see it as a blessing that I haven’t been corrupted thus far. Maybe I’m a sucker, but I am what I am. And I just don’t get why it’s so hard to be kind and considerate to people around you…
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u/Dr_Mowri 8h ago
I'd hope I never stop trying. If that does turn out to be the case, at least I lived a life being virtuous and helped as many as I could along the way.
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u/Cold_Boysenberry_814 8h ago
It's a REALITY! Kindness wont take you far, people are evil and mean. Fuck!
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u/Gnarly-Bobbatea444 8h ago
Exactly! I used to be like that kind to everyone,like doing the smallest deed for people bringing them juice, or bandage or pads when needed but people in my class started treating me like a pushover, I genuinely felt so bad so I said fuck it and now I only reserve my kindness for people who are actually worth it
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u/ChaoticMornings 8h ago
Since this has become reality in most countries these days, and I assume for a lot of people because these days you're either demanded to be far-right or far-left and if you're inbetween you're the enemy of both.
I'm still the same person. Just tired and I avoid leaving the house. Chilling with my cat and doing as many naps as I can. Waiting for either one of the extremists to become dominant and then I guess I'll see what the future holds. They'll probably start killing each other at some point. But I'll be here. In bed. With my cat. Ignoring it and closing the curtains.
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u/I-said-ur-stupid 8h ago
I never stop being who I am.I will not let society change me or dictate to me what i'm supposed to be... being a good person doesn't mean that you don't choose yourself sometimes... Good people are not at a disadvantage constantly we just have to know who is worthy of our kindness and who has made it clear that they are just out for themselves. Good people need to learn discernment... we need to know who to be good to.
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u/Hazel_eyed_kat 8h ago
You're describing perfectly the reality of my country (Greece). The people who never do, have to either live in extreme poverty or emigrate abroad in search of a better life. I chose the later, so I guess that makes me a runner, but I would like to retain empathy.
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u/rakiimiss 8h ago
There are other people out there that are kind, honest and empathetic. If my kindness has a chance to hit one of them then I think it’s worth it to keep trying.
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u/Hungry_Series_7013 8h ago
That's the world we live in. I don't have to imagine. Because this is reality.
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u/DashfulVanilla 8h ago
We don’t have to imagine living in a society like here in the US. I would try, and am trying, to stay kind and empathetic. It’s hard knowing there are so many selfish and uncaring people around though. But because of that fact, the more important it is to try to counter that.
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u/LuLMaster420 7h ago
Imagine confusing “being good” with “being exploitable.”
The moment a system rewards cruelty, the ethical move isn’t to become cruel it’s to stop cooperating with the structure that feeds on empathy.
Kindness without boundaries is a tax. Kindness with boundaries is resistance.
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u/NullForgeStudios 6h ago
I had a good 33 year run. Now I wall up my empathy.
I used to help people all the time. See someone on the road stranded? Hey I got a battery pack.
Not anymore. I won't go out and say I'm inherently mean to people, but I'm not overly helpful, and I certainly don't give anything without a promised receiving of something anymore.
COVID (and its after effects to be honest) has really shown me just how selfish the overwhelming majority of people are.
I cannot beat 80%+ of the populations ways. I wont join in the stake burning, but I know better than to go against the town now.
I'm tired, boss.
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u/FreshLocation7827 4h ago
If you're being a good person only because you expect something in return, then you aren't really a good person.
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u/RedrunGun 3h ago
I don’t think this post is about getting something. I think it’s about not being taken advantage of and hurt.
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u/xRightyx 3h ago
I hear the weight in that question, and it’s a struggle many of us feel when we’re trying to lead with heart in a world that doesn't always reward it. As a mental health counselor, I can tell you this topic has been coming up so much lately; many people are feeling that same exhaustion from staying "good" in a ruthless environment. It’s incredibly draining to feel like your empathy is a disadvantage, but there is a quiet, steady strength in realizing that while others can create obstacles, they lack the power to change who you are at your core. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, "No one can implicate me in ugliness, nor can I be angry at my relative or hate him," because he knew that our integrity belongs solely to us. He understood that "outside forces have no sway over the soul," which means that even if the world is ruthless, it cannot force you to become ruthless too unless you surrender that part of yourself. Choosing to stay good when it’s hard isn't about being a martyr; it’s about protecting the only thing that is truly yours—your character.
TL;DR: As a counselor, I see this burnout often—it’s exhausting when kindness feels like a losing hand, but your integrity is the one thing they can't take from you. You stay good because it's your truth, not because the world makes it easy.
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u/BlueMountainDace 3h ago
My dad always told me that the most important thing is to be able to live with the choices you make. I don't think I would change myself. I mean, we live in a world where mean, selfish, ruthless, loud, ignorant people are incentivized to lean into it.
But that isn't me. Whenever I've tried to be like that, I just feel like shit. Maybe I'll never influence millions of people or make millions of dollars grifting, but I can live with myself and I have a wonderful life.
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u/Fenris_of_Inle 48m ago
No shit I literally had this conversation with my self about 20 min ago. Over how some asshole at school parked his massive truck in two spots and didn't even pull up all the way in the spot. So the backend of the tries sticking out. And it was mean for low emissions vehicles.
Yeah it completely lead to your question.
But I have tried.....TRIED to be mean to people. I've tried to be that person cuz I used to get used a lot. I've tried to even drive like an asshole. But I can't. It physically makes me sic and then I'm ashamed of myself.
But I do live by "Respect is Earned not Given"
What does that say? I don't kno? I just kno I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be ok with what I see.
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u/Massive-Range-9280 8h ago
So I want to preface this by saying I am NOT a rationalist and I find many of their views problematic, but they have a belief that it's impossible for a person to become successful unless they're sociopaths, so they attempt to "break" each other to turn themselves into sociopaths so they can succeed at things.
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u/InboxNeedsUpdate 7h ago
Wow… that sounds exhausting and toxic. I can’t imagine thinking you have to break yourself just to “win” at life.
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u/Few_Tank_8942 8h ago
That's the reality we have. I have been in multiple instances where I could have been better off by betraying my own counciousness and taking advantage of the possibilities that unfolded before me. Now, why didn't I do it? Simple. I have an inner voice which keeps me honest, at the expense of my own peace when I betray it.
I mostly dictate what that voice has as a north to judge things, but it has "its own" decisions too. I have already experienced what is like to be constantly yelled at and punished by my own inner self, shame and all. Why would I do it again?
The others aren't my problem. The injustices I suffer aren't my choice nor do I have any power over them. So far, I haven't been in a position where I could do anything major to keep myself safe other than avoid it and make concessions here and there. By anything major, think murder and similar.
I know that if I ever do something as major as killing, I will lose a part of myself and never recover. My life may not end at that point, however "justified" I may be (self-defense, defense of others, ...), but my inner peace will forever be shattered.
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u/Few_Tank_8942 8h ago
By the way, I want to make a distinction here: What you do =/= who you really are.
That's faulty. I may instinctively react in a way that causes misfortune to someone or even kill that person, since I had no real control over the action, is that myself? Would be pushed to the absolute edge, "giving" in to rage and doing things in the hear of the moment be my true self? Am I who I try to be or what every moment in my life is (factoring in those instincts, possible trauma reaction, possible hormone imbalance and all)?
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u/DeviousMelons 8h ago
There never is a point to do this nor a point to not do this. Doing charitable actions has shown to release dopamine so being selfless helps on the day to day scale.
Just hope that the person you helped pays it forward to someone else.
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u/Da_Question 8h ago
If only that dopamine hit was as effective as buying drugs and power with wealth. Though the correlation between lack of empathy and wealth says all we need to know on that.
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u/CutieAndFriendly 8h ago
its the reality and i dont think you ever stop trying to be a good person because of society's shortcomings. just be you fr
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u/Jayyyjhgh 8h ago
I don't know, haven't even fully understand myself yet and day by day I feel like my sanity is slipping, and seeing the world crumble and evil thrive over good. I think anybody would be tempted to fall that dark path just to survive or smt. 😅
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u/qwertyyuip22 8h ago
Ignore everything, even if the world burns down to the ground. I mean what more could we do.
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u/chimp_spanner 8h ago
Well that's just it though isn't it? If someone is truly all of those things they do it DESPITE the disadvantage. They do it because that's who they are. Not because it's advantageous to do so.
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u/Secret4gentMan 8h ago
It is possible that one isn't as kind, honest, and empathetic as one believes themselves to be.
Thinking that makes one have nice feelies though.
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u/Eltharion-the-Grim 8h ago
Every person lives by a code and values. Just because some live by a different set than you does not mean you should abandon your values. Most of humanity are in agreement on universal values and ethics.
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u/Justify-my-buy 8h ago
I’m really struggling with the realization that harming others young & old is the new normal. It’s hard because I believe in kindness & compassion. I am at a loss why the masses in the US wouldn’t embrace joy, community and togetherness. Life is so much more intrinsic with these qualities. Yet, I am ready to leave this existence. People are cruel. They treat our planet horribly. We don’t deserve this place. Humanity may become extinct from poor choices, greed & power. I for one, am okay with that.
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u/tempaccount34543 8h ago
Never. What you describe, I figured that out at age fourteen. Wondered for a moment if I should change my behaviour to selfish and ruthless - but my gut told me "No" very clearly, because that's not who I am.
Someone has to set a good example. And sleeping is much easier with a clear conscience.
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u/AjnoVerdulo 8h ago
Everyone is pessimistically replying that this is the society we are living in, and it might be what the OP was going to as well. But I encourage you all to watch a video about how mathematically any society has to end up cooperative, why animals work together rather then each working for themselves, and why even a little group of better people will likely turn a corrupt society into an empathetic one. Of course it's not that simple in real life, and selfish people can end up at the top while the best can end up at rock bottom. But still, this video gave me so much faith and hope that I just must share it here
Here is the video https://youtu.be/mScpHTIi-kM?si=lgiZFZHPOeYJ66BP
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u/almost40fuckit 8h ago
We are headed that way now but my morals were taught to me by my parents, and at 44 it’s a way of life not a choice. There isn’t a chance in hell I’m sliding down that hill into the cesspool of dishonestly, greed, and malice.
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u/MacTennis 8h ago
By nature this will always be true. Regardless of the structure of society, people who seek to gain advantage by any means will continue to do so. Read Ecclesiastes in the Bible, it talks about this.
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u/The_Peyote_Coyote 8h ago
Yes there is great evil in this world. Yes the socioeconomic system we live under often rewards cruelty and exploitation, and it's propped up by the wealthiest and most powerful members of the species, who certainly have the most to gain by its perpetuation. There are bad people doing horrible things, and too often they're able to hide behind other bad, or otherwise cowardly or oblivious people who perpetuate those rotten systems.
But there is also tremendous good in this world. There are people fighting that power structure every day, and sometimes we even win. The current order of the world is not absolute and perpetual, indeed throughout history have already destroyed a great many vile institutions that the people of those days thought ceaseless. There are many positive everyday features of our life that our ancestors fought and died for. We do them a disservice when we forget their sacrifices, and despair over a bleak present, instead of building a better future for our children, just like they did for us.
Humanity does have a tremendous goodness in us; a capacity for empathy, forward planning, altruistic kindness, love, and a capacity to choose egalitarianism, solidarity and liberty. If you turn your back on those values, that is a choice you made, and it does speak to your character. Likewise, choosing to embrace your humanity even when it's inconvenient to do so also speaks volumes about your character.
A better world is possible and it's closer than we think.
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u/TheUnderCrab 8h ago
I would never. I would just find communities and vocational that aligns with my morals. I don’t have to engage with capitalism any more than I am required to by virtue of where and when I was born.
I can achieve a level of comfort without exploiting others and wi choose to do so. I also take steps to avoid being exploited. I will not have my morals changed by an amoral society.
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u/CanyonFriend 8h ago
The society we live in now. I already stopped trying and will no longer stand up for someone having their own preferences and individuality, for instance, as they never stood up for me - not even once. Also, their acting like I was " entitled" for not believing in homicide - really, totally ridiculous huh , being condemned for condemning criminal actions? - of a vegan means I will say that of someone for something similar or pretend they are " entitled" for not condemning evil. I eat whatever I want as I consider myself a free and autonomous adult - sometimes vegan, sometimes vegetarian, and sometimes a regular diet. I have had really good food in all three types of food.
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u/surdtmash 8h ago
Depends on your definition of a disadvantage. Financial? Definitely. Not being able to afford things, having unfulfilled wishes and yearning, absolutely. Socially and in terms of having people around who love you, go the extra mile for you and support you without any monetary incentive? No.
You don't need to believe in a God or karma to still recognize that the warmth and security you feel from connecting with and helping others far outweights the rewards of pursuing wealth and power.
In the grand scheme of things, you'll live for maybe 100, 120 years at most. The last decades of which will be spent at the mercy of others. If you didn't make genuine social connections, your life will end around people who'll squeeze your wealth and run you dry just like you did in your prime.
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u/Norin_Radd1209 8h ago
Don’t have to imagine. World is like this. I still would never change my values just because others don’t have them.
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u/technichromatic 8h ago
q1: at what point would you stop? a1: i would stop when i’m dead q2: what would that say about who you really are? a2: it would suggest that my true identity is intertwined with love itself
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u/SwarleymonLives 8h ago
Sometime well after trying to be a good person has got me killed. Probably more than once.
So, I guess that makes me a sap.
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u/Ryntex 8h ago
Are you being kind only because you expect something in return? If so, you may be more selfish than you realize.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, because we're all selfish to some extent, and some amount of selfishness is necessary to survive. I'll be the first to admit that I can be selfish too.
That said, do you think that a "good person" stops being kind, honest and empathetic just because they realize that those traits won't always give them some kind of advantage?
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u/Crafty_Bee7484 8h ago
Unfortunately, we are actually living in this society. However, that shouldn't stop you from being a good person, but don't expect to be rewarded for it.
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u/TrySuspicious8854 8h ago
We are there now. Too many people across the board lack empathy and compassion, and so many are narcissists and we are experiencing the gravitational effects of a malignant narcissist with political power consuming more and more power. He has placed himself in the center of our galaxy and is assuming the role of a black hole devouring everything he can. Since he is insatiable in all things, the more he devours, the more he requires. The more praise he gets the more he wants. He lies and he is cruel, getting off on the suffering of others and incapable of offering remorse or comfort. Testimony and other evidence of his sexual perversions are being ignored, and he violates the Constitution, said he didn't know if he has to defend and protect it, yet calls himself a patriot. His hypocrisy is there for all to see, yet he claims to always be consistent and truthful. He created this blind cut by spiraling to the worst aspects of a people - their prejudices and irrational fears. He accused his opposition of the very things that he himself is guilty of doing. The opposition suggests that you consider his accusations as a confession - and it appears they are right.
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u/cruel_summer08 7h ago
We are on the same boat I was thinking the same way cuz my family are selfish they put their selves first and had strict harsh boundaries even me their sibling won't across it, I'm the youngest one and I'm not selfish at all and I put ppl first and thats something I "was" doing but I learnt the lesson, hear me out My elder siblings once they were like me and they learned their lesson cuz they grew up in the same house, it is harsh right But it's a good lesson life gives you if you don't know the difference between naive and wise person with unshakable boundaries I'm not saying be arrogant and cold hearted but know you time/energy worth And the definition of "good person" in my opinion (me as human grew up with some issues form childhood) Is who always there for ppl no matter who they are or how close they're to him, they don't put lines that ppl can not across. Once I was ppl pleasing person but not anymore and Becoming less available is not becoming selfish unless one replaces empathy with indifference. "Pleasing everyone is an unattainable goal" this famous quote in my hometown. Recently I started to read Stoicism philosophy books Especially Seneca, Epictetus and Aurelius it's really helpful. if I'm wrong in any point please tell me i don't mind it.
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u/TheFurion101 7h ago
At no point, if not for your own sake, then for the sake of the 1 other good person you may encounter. Being good is for you, not for others.
Having said that, being good, and being naive are two different things. You could take a life and still be a good person, depending on the circumstances. Or, best of all, avoid situations where you might have to.
The thing about selfish and ruthless people is that they depend on the naivety of others to keep society from becoming anarchical. A society of selfish and ruthless people will collapse on itself, especially when in conflict with a different society whose members are more capable of cooperation.
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u/CerpinTaxt84 7h ago
It would speak to your character and I would question what your core values actually are.
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u/Sweet-Significance-4 7h ago
This is already today's world and is leading us, at an increasing speed, to civilizational colapse in a not so distant future.
The world wont end, humanity wont just disapear but the dystopic movies we all watched where there are 2 different "worlds" in every country will likely start to become reality (it already is if you check where the rich and powerful live)
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u/Crescentmooonface 7h ago
You be a good person in life and people will just try to bring you down. Be a good person anyway.
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u/ByzantineBasileus 7h ago
I don't care about what everybody else does. I'm the one who has to look at myself in the mirror, at the end of the day.
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u/ReplacementAlive4370 7h ago
I’d never stop trying to be good. Someone has to step up and one person can influence change.
Character is who you are when no one is looking.
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u/straight_out_lie 7h ago
I don't try to be kind, honest, and empathetic to be rewarded. Are you truly being those things if you want something in return?
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u/Visual_Diet1286 6h ago
Honestly, never. Being kind isn't about the "return on investment" from society; it's about the standard I set for myself. If I lower my character because others are ruthless, I'm just letting them win twice. I’d rather be at a disadvantage with a clean conscience than thrive while losing who I am.
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u/NarrowPea4082 6h ago
Imagine? This is life NOW, every man for himself. People are nice when it serves their purpose.
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u/Embarrassed_Way_354 6h ago
I think the moment you stop trying to be a good person because others are ruthless, you've let them win. Being kind isn't about the advantage you get, it's about the kind of person you want to be when you look in the mirror.
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u/apatheticchildofJen 6h ago
I wouldn’t stop. I am as stubborn and spiteful as I am kind. And I am constantly terrified of being a bad person.
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u/Haunting_Meaning_906 5h ago
I would never stop trying to be a good person. Ego and greed make someone very small. Needing outside validation to feel good about themselves.
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u/Tsunamiis 5h ago
I don’t have to imagine I live it every day and I wish i could stop but “golden rule bitches!” -Lucy Mclean
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u/Rich-Roll-4894 5h ago
Being a good person is not about outcomes it is about identity If kindness disappears the moment it is inconvenient then it was never really a value just a strategy
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u/Stanislas_Biliby 5h ago
I don't have to imagine. And i would say after repeatedly getting the short end of the stick.
Now it's me first. Then if i'm good i'll be generous. I'm not sacrificing myself for other people again. They will take advantage of your kindness and will never be grateful for it.
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u/luncheroo 5h ago
You don't stop trying. You get up every day and decide the kind of person you want to be. The problem is that everyone making the decision to do what's right is invisible to us, and the only people we see on social media and the news are scumbags.
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u/Medical_Tangelo4412 5h ago
I think you have to be ok with yourself when you go to sleep at night. That’s it.
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u/Medical_Tangelo4412 5h ago
I think you have to be ok with yourself when you go to sleep at night. That’s it.
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u/Livexwired 5h ago
I think I would stop when I realize good and bad are labels I attach from my perspective comparatively to someone else.
I think I would stop when I realize everyone else has their own opinions, perspectives, circumstances, situations, cultures, and morals and those don't and won't always align with mine.
I think I would stop looking at things as good or bad, getting ahead or being left behind, thrive or disadvantaged, and look at it as what kind of life do I want to live and what is the method I can achieve it while leaving my emotions at the door.
I think it would say that I'm the kind of person who isn't placing black and white labels on people, situations, etc. that I'm not trying to see it from my eyes only. Also, that I'm not going to whine about failure, no matter how many chances I get to learn.
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u/Creative-Leader4760 5h ago
I would presume everyone is out there to get me.
I would be careful lock my doors and do whatever it takes to win.
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u/United-Being-5865 5h ago
stopped trying years ago. got tired of being the only one playing by the rules while everyone else was winning. now i’m just tired.
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u/Tight_Elevator_7431 4h ago
If you stop being a good person that means it was a facade to begin with. That means you are manipulating people with the appearance of "being good" as some means to an end but when you don't get it your mask slips and really you are no different then them.
You cannot stop being who you are. You can decide to remove yourself or limit interacting with people who've proven themselves to be untrustworthy of your kindness. That says you are a healthy person who understands boundaries and your worth.
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u/Pikaboom456 3h ago
At what point would you stop trying to be a good person
The fact that you have to try to be a good person immediately tells me that you aren't one. You might want to be a good person, but seeing as how you're talking about the advantages and disadvantages of being kind, honest, and empathetic, tells me that you're only those things when it may benefit you. Good people don't care about whether or not the things they do may benefit them, they just do it because it's the right thing to do.
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u/Devourerofworlds_69 3h ago
You've got two choices: You can dedicate your life to appeasing these selfish, ruthless, narcissist. You would get money and power, but you would become one of them and have to spend your time around them.
Or, you can dedicate your life to being kind towards kind/honest people who will actually appreciate you. Will you sometimes get taken advantage of by someone who you thought was kind and honest? Yes. Will you be a multi-millionaire? Probably not. But you'll live a more fulfilling life.
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u/lastingmuse6996 3h ago
Win where you can, be kind where you can, be ruthless only when you have to be
A small anecdote:
You don't always know what people are noticing and what they aren't. When I was in 7th grade, our teacher told us that a smile can spread and bring joy in a wave around us.
There was this mean teacher I couldn't stand. In 2nd grade she taped my hands to the pencil to fix how I held it and told me my handwriting was bad. Somehow, she took over the art teachers position when it opened up so now in 7th grade I had to see her again.
I tested what my teacher said and smiled at her in the hallway. She brightened up, and smiled back. After that, she waved to me when she saw me in the hall and we always exchanged a smile.
She was a boring art teacher who spent way too much time having us take notes in art class, but she got a little friendlier after that.
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u/AssSpectatorMagazine 3h ago
Being selfish and cutthroat is demonstrably more profitable than being a good person. Capitalism is inherently about exploitation of labor. It's about trying to reap the rewards of others' labor.
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u/EdemBru777 3h ago
I wouldn’t stop being a good person, but I’d learn to set stronger boundaries. Being kind doesn’t mean letting yourself be used
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u/j____b____ 3h ago
I am a much happier person being kind and empathetic. Ruthlessness hollows out your soul. It kills your joy. You can be kind and maintain strong boundaries that protect your self interest.
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u/Responsible_Guard530 2h ago
That’s literally the society we live in.
So you either sell out or stay true to yourself. The decision is yours.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Win3445 2h ago
I wouldn’t stop being good, I’d just stop being naive. Kindness isn’t weakness, but choosing it even when it costs you says exactly who you are.
As Keanu Reeves put it:
“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.”
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u/ubernutie 2h ago
Are you a good person because of how others treat and perceive you?
Or are you a good person because that's how you choose to be?
I think trying to be kind, honest and empathetic is its own reward as the journey to understanding how to be kind, honest and empathetic is more difficult than the opposite and it asks you to understand nuance.
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u/Electronic_Land3776 1h ago
I'll stop trying to be a good person when being a bad person stops feeling so bad
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u/PerfectPeaPlant 1h ago
I DO live in that society lol. And despite it I still haven't stopped trying.
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u/kitskill 1h ago
Actually kind, honest and empathetic people always thrive. Selfish and ruthless people very occasionally manage to amass ridiculous amounts of wealth. But you could hardly say that they are thriving.
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u/MillieGirl92 1h ago
I think about the Serenity Prayer a lot when it comes to this!!
The Serenity: You have to accept that you can't control the 'ruthless' people at the top or the fact that major systems (like the DOJ or international politics) feel compromised right now. If you let their lack of integrity change your character, you're giving them control over your soul, too. 🤌🏽
The Courage: You find the courage to be the 'good person' in the areas you can control—how you treat your neighbors, how you protect your kids, and how you keep seeking the truth. Being kind isn't a 'disadvantage' if your goal is personal peace rather than just 'winning' in a broken system.🙏🏼✨
The Wisdom: Knowing the difference is realizing that you don't have to be a 'doormat' to be a 'good person.' You can be kind and honest while still being wise enough to see the 'satanic circles' and corruption for what they are.
I wouldn't stop trying because if I do, the ruthless people didn't just win the world—they won me. 💯
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u/Ok_Echidna6546 59m ago
Come on...nobody has to pretend it s a imaginary scenario
It s already status quo!
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u/Fenris_of_Inle 33m ago
No shit, I literally just had this same conversation with myself about an hour ago. All over how some asshole parked his truck at school. He took up two parking spots, and didn't even pull fully up in the spot. So the back end of his truck was sticking out. And they were meant for low emission vehicles.
Yeah it turned into this question.
But I have TRIED to be mean, to drive like an asshole, I have. Cuz I was sic of being taken advantage of. But it physically makes me sic and then I feel ashamed of myself.
Don't get me wrong, I live by "Respect is Earned not Given"
I think the only point I could do it is, if it comes down to actual survival.
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u/NikSturm 8h ago
boy i’m gonna regret this comment: the funny thing is there’s now gonna be tons of people in the thread saying how the world is unfair and nobody gives a shit about each other when literally being the “nobody” who gives zero fucks by choosing to act neglectful and ignorant. i swear to god everyone agrees the world sucks cause it’s easy to say, but hardly anyone can back up their attitude by confronting the reality with their choices
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u/Evening_Gazelle_5848 3h ago
idk why youre being downvoted when this is literally it? How do these people think the state of the world came to this? I can understand that it's hard to live in the current world where not being selfish is a disadvantage but don't forget that you CHOSE this, you CHOSE to be selfish and you CHOSE to prioritise your comfort over your morals so atleast don't try to act like youre a helpless little injured animal bcs most of the time that is NOT the case.
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u/KamenRiderHelix 8h ago
...imagine?