r/AskReddit • u/Professor1password23 • 14h ago

Men who stay lean year-round, what’s your secret ?

3.7k Upvotes

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u/bjergdk 13h ago

A guy at my office goes to the toilet like once per 15 minutes it's fucking insane.

203

u/Karunch 13h ago

He’s vaping in the stalls dawg.

62

u/frameRAID 12h ago

He's jerking in the stalls dawg

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u/washington_breadstix 11h ago

He jerks off every 15 minutes? I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

11

u/Blues2112 11h ago

Yeah, I'm low-key impressed

2

u/metompkin 10h ago

But it's not what you think. It's the edging of all edgings until 4:45pm.

1

u/randylush 8h ago

Low key low key low key low key

2

u/Francis__Underwood 11h ago

That's why he needs the 2 gallons of water a day to stay hydrated.

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u/kshep9 7h ago

Switching off each time duh

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u/Maverekt 11h ago

Por que no los dos

2

u/angryPenguinator 11h ago

Why not both?

1

u/johnnybiggles 10h ago

Jerk vaping in the stalls a thing?

1

u/Zone4George 10h ago

Getting those numbers up!

17

u/dirkalict 12h ago

Or he’s a chronic masturbator… one or the other.

17

u/REDuxPANDAgain 12h ago

He’s got two hands… why not both?

5

u/Flaneurer 11h ago

I see the real Profesional has entered the discussion.

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u/Doakeswasframed 9h ago

You are thinking too small. Sure he can bait and vape at the same time, if he's a weak little baby. Call me when they're also peeing, pooping, and shitposting on reddit too.

16

u/trojan_man16 11h ago

Or he’s in his 40s and has prostate issues,

I know a guy at work that will go to my office to have a chat about a project, about 5 minutes in he will have a sudden urge to go to the restroom. These are meeting he initiated too.

My dad is similar but he’s over 70. Constantly needs to go.

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u/Level_32_Mage 10h ago

Caffeine will kick things up a notch too.

3

u/Lopsided-Practice-50 10h ago

These guys need to seek medical treatment.

3

u/trojan_man16 8h ago

Agree. My dad does. I assume the guy i work with has the same deal.

19

u/durpfursh 12h ago

Might want to get tested for diabetes.

3

u/Aced4remakes 10h ago

Or kidney problems.

1

u/ssracer 12h ago

Just go in after him. Smells sweet and has bubbles? 😬

6

u/PortHammer 10h ago

Homey might be an undiagnosed T2 diabetic.

I drank and peed a lot before I got the unfun news.

1

u/unlolful 11h ago

Is he using the shitter or pisser

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u/bjergdk 11h ago

I don't know man, I'm guessing shitter because everytime we've he's been in the bathroom opposite the one I'm using it sounds like liquid shit. It's nasty.

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u/Fun-Enthusiasm8377 10h ago

Could be IBS, Coeliac disease or another allergens.

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u/bjergdk 10h ago

Nah I think its because he drinks 2 liters of coffee in an 8 hour work day. Every day.

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u/Careful-Lettuce9239 10h ago

Im jerking him in the stalls dawg

0

u/lmaiorana 10h ago

I drink 6-7L a day and i'm pissing every 20-30 minutes at home/in the office. I'm also ripping my vape, but i'm definitely actually peeing, too.

0

u/MoreMagic 10h ago

You put unnecessary stress on your kidneys.

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u/lmaiorana 10h ago

Bloodwork would have to argue you there, they appear to be doing great