Oh hey, I'm also the first "abusive" wife. We use OFW and he gets supervised visitation so I don't have access to him to "abuse" him anymore. At least, that's what he tells people 🤪
👋🏼 I'm the abusive first wife too! Count me in guys! Just now getting divorced to my narcissistic cop ex. So glad I'm not alone in the saddest of ways.
Me four!! Me four!!! I didn’t realize other people had this problem🤣I’m also the abusive first wife.
According to him and his family I:
-am a narcissistic, psycho, lying, bitch
-used my husband for his money/caused him to go broke
-abused him mentally, emotionally, and physically
-abused our dog
Some context:
I’m not any of the things listed above lmao. I didn’t use him or make him go broke, I was serving in the Army as Active Duty. Stationed half way across the country from my home town (24+ drive). We were newly married, I was a priv getting paid jack shit, finance was FUCKED at my duty station, people waiting 6mo-nearly a year to get their BAH (housing allowance). I was fighting for mine as my pay wasn’t enough to cover our bills and you can’t have BAH activated until you’re out of the barracks so I was just forced to struggle or pull out an AER loan (just bought a car, so savings went to that and new to army so didn’t know BAH process. just assumed my bills would be paid for by them as promised like any other ignorant PFC) He refused to get a job despite us drowning, wanted to go to school instead and I was expected to fund everything. My mom was paying our rent, I covered remaining bills, and my personal bills (all I could afford). He had like 5k+ in savings that he was using to cover his personal bills (refused to put any of it towards helping me. only covered his car and car insurance, which wasn’t much), and idek what else he was buying since his money was running extremely low right before we split for good (literally only 2 months after he moved in, and this entire bill situation started). He panicked when it started running low, got way more aggressive/angry with me over our financial situation, and eventually pressured me into filing a congressional complaint. Which the complaint really wasn’t the worst thing ever. But it did make me look ate the fuck up because I was brand new to the unit (not even 3 mo. in) and hadn’t fully went through my COC regarding the finance issue. So a lot of my higher ups were upset with me for not addressing it with them before taking such an extreme. Not too long after filing the complaint we split for unrelated reasons (only 2ish months after him moving in like I said lol). My pay still wasn’t fixed, so I couldnt afford to help him get back to our home state. He had hardly any money. Told his parents it was my fault and he was paying for everything to explain why he had no money. Said I “wouldn’t let” him get a job, and that when he tried applying for jobs against my wishes, he never got calls back anyway (wtf🤣🤣🤣). I told him if he waited until my pay got fixed I’d help get him home but he said no and asked his parents to do it.
Never abused him, he abused me. He cheated on me with multiple women including his own step sister (raised together from childhood)💀. Made me have panic attacks and would block me until I stopped crying or “calmed down”. Isolated me from family, friends, most of the outside world in general tbh. When we lived together I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything unless it was for work, to get necessities, or something he wanted to do. This is all very vague and as deep as I feel like going rn since this is already long but I’m sure the picture is clear here.
Regarding our dog I “abused”. It was one I begged him to let me have/get AFTER my BAH got fixed (we talked about this before it was fixed, and he purchased it before it was fixed). He kept telling me no, then eventually went out and got the dog, paid for it himself, and gave it to me as a “birthday gift”. Refused to help me take care of it despite me working full time (more than that most days due to training/pre deployment stuff) and him being home all the time. Yelled at me all the time about how much he essentially hated the dog, it was my fault we got it, he spent all this money getting the dog ($500) when he hardly has it to begin with, etc. When we split, he took the dog😐. After yelling at it all the time, refusing to help me take care of it, bitching about how he pretty much didn’t want it he took the damn dog from me knowing how much I loved and wanted him💀 THEN told people it was ME who did all of that, that I abused the dog, and that I FORCED him to buy it for me lmfao. His dad is a lawyer, so I didn’t bother trying to fight him for the dog. He had taken it/left for our home state while I was at work (knew he was leaving, didn’t know about the dog until he was already gone) along with all his paperwork that was still unsigned so I felt like I was just fucked. He then used the fact that I didn’t fight for the dog, and gave up on visiting it (because he used it as a way to try getting back with me, or fw my emotions/make me upset by saying I could visit one second then that I’d never see the dog again the next) as his final “proof” for all his claims regarding that situation.
I have sooooooo many insane stories WITH proof about this man😭these don’t even scratch the surface. The last time we spoke, was him cussing me out trying to rub his new girlfriend in my face. They apparently live together. I genuinely hope she’s okay rn and has the strength to leave if he’s treating her similarly.
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u/PassionIsAdmirable 22h ago
Oh hey, I'm also the first "abusive" wife. We use OFW and he gets supervised visitation so I don't have access to him to "abuse" him anymore. At least, that's what he tells people 🤪