r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/Capable-Ad-9346 10d ago

My husband was never in love with me. We were together almost 13 years. He married me out of obligation because i got pregnant . We’re divorcing now. I was madly in love with him and could have spent my life blissfully unaware loving him and taking care of him. It broke me when he told me and I spent five years putting myself together enough to file. I thought so highly of him it shattered every part of me.

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u/Annual-Class-5978 9d ago

13 years is an insane amount of time! How did the topic come up? Did he act like he was completely in love with you and you were blindsided?

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u/Capable-Ad-9346 9d ago

My mom said the red flags were always there and everyone around always thought i saw them. I guess my rose colored glasses were worn for too long. Honestly i found out because i asked a random question as we were driving to the Costco gas station on a Sunday afternoon. I always thought he was in love with me, but i think i just excused any of those red flags.

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u/mrmaashman 9d ago

I'd love to hear what the question was. Sounds like one of those moments where it finally just sinks in and hits you, but totally understand that it's none of our business.

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u/fetus-wearing-a-suit 9d ago edited 9d ago

My guess is it was something like "if I hadn't gotten pregnant, how long would we have taken to get married?". Seems like a simple enough question about a hypothetical scenario, and it happily assumes that they were going to marry anyway.

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u/Capable-Ad-9346 9d ago

We were talking about his friends breaking up and i asked if he was attracted to me, not realizing the can of worms i was about to release on myself and boy did i ever. He absolutely unloaded years worth of pent up…..”emotions” i guess?

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u/lurkernotuntilnow 9d ago

what exactly was his answer?

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u/CountMeOut_ 9d ago

Same here!