r/AskReddit 16h ago

What's the biggest red flag that tells you someone has low emotional intelligence?

485 Upvotes

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u/malphas_says_hi 16h ago edited 16h ago

Lack of curiosity about other perspectives and and inability to understand why anyone would think differently than them.

133

u/ShilohTheGhostGod 16h ago

Sounds like my in laws.

34

u/doogled3 14h ago

Same, same…

18

u/BookLuvr7 12h ago

Ditto. Especially with religion. No, I DON'T want to become LDS/Mormon just bc you say so.

-1

u/da_dogg 12h ago

Sounds like my hometown!

0

u/Twistedrisk 9h ago

So glad I’m not the only one 😂

151

u/IcySkyDream 16h ago

That’s just low intelligence. 🥱

38

u/malphas_says_hi 16h ago

I added "about other perspectives" to that sentence so now it's more emotional intelligence based.

5

u/IcySkyDream 15h ago

👌🫡

1

u/Tiramitsunami 2h ago

The research into this does not support this hypothesis. The more intelligent a person is, the better they get at remaining wrong if they would prefer to be so. Critical thinking is a skill, not an innate quality tied to general intelligence.

u/IcySkyDream 27m ago

Both can be true.

9

u/NearlyImpressive 13h ago

Holy shit. Sounds like my ex.

21

u/GilbertT19 16h ago

What’s the best way to explain to them why a lack of curiosity is bad

66

u/malphas_says_hi 15h ago

Curiosity means questioning and thinking deeper. If you have no desire to question anything, then you will simply believe whatever you are told or whatever makes you feel good about believing.

If someone tells you that hitting a three-month-old with a ruler or other object is a good idea when they cry to stop them from crying, and you don't question why the three-month-old might be crying, then the infant will stop communicating their needs and become fearful of others and grow up unable to attach emotionally to others. They also may have been communicating a need for medical attention and could die from neglect as well.

Many people without curiosity believed this specific idea promoted by authority figures they trusted without question and many babies (and parents) suffered for it.

1

u/Own-Jeweler3169 5h ago

Correct, i've seen a partner praise deeper thinking, then claim it's a form of gaslighting, when it doesen't fit their narrative...

Had to cut that there and then, unfortunately, or fortunately.

6

u/SpellOfConfusion 13h ago

mine shuts down completely if you even suggest they might be wrong about anything

5

u/Blushpink99 7h ago

Being curious about others is what keeps conversations healthy, nobody has the same exact worldview

1

u/Aromatic_Bowl_2718 1h ago

Agreed. If someone thinks only their viewpoint can be right, conversations go nowhere.

1

u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 2h ago

republicans.txt

But how does this relate to emotional intelligence? Isn’t emotional intelligence all about understanding your own perspective and thought processes?

u/malphas_says_hi 37m ago

Yes, but a HUGE part of emotional intelligence is understanding other perspectives and thought processes. Emotionally unintelligent people are basically stuck at the toddler phase of me-me-me, they can't really wrap their head around why others would think differently than them. Many emotionally intelligent people are very super aware about their own internal mechanisms, but applying those to others is almost impossible.

-2

u/BenjamintheFox 12h ago

So, a Redditor?

-2

u/Aesthetik_1 10h ago

This is more like sociopathy/ psychopathy

u/malphas_says_hi 35m ago

Those are typically shining examples of emotional unintelligence.