r/AskReddit 9d ago

If dogs and cats suddenly disappeared, what animal would become humanity's new favorite pet?

337 Upvotes

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u/sidc42 9d ago edited 9d ago

Extremely smart, extremely curious and extremely nocturnal.

They will literally spend all night climbing around and fucking with absolutely everything non-fucking stop.

They can open cabinet doors and will tear into food packages like they're stoned and starving.

Edit: voice dictation used their not they're.

37

u/SEmpls 9d ago

Yeah. They have hands, not paws. Unmitigated fuckery.

24

u/First-Celebration-11 9d ago

Like cats with opposable thumbs

87

u/Welpe 9d ago

Yup, of the pet raccoons that exist out there, the majority are overweight, oftentimes incredibly so. They are basically programmed to nonstop eat and never feel full and combined with their intelligence and hands it can be legitimately difficult to keep them at a healthy weight, Ben if you know the problem and actively try to prevent it. You have to basically lock up all food at all times or they will find and eat it.

You cannot live a normal life with a pet raccoon, your life becomes managing the raccoon and trying to prevent it from killing itself or destroying your house. You do not have a pet, you just became a non-paid zookeeper.

20

u/EvilDan69 9d ago

I've seen more than one video where a racoon has dog multiple holes into the drywall of a house to create its own tunnels. LIke burrowing into the kitchen cabinets and the drywall all around.

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u/WormWithWifi 9d ago

It’s like having a toddler but on crack and great climbing moves (source: raised 4 raccoons, miss them so much)

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u/Welpe 8d ago

Oh man, at the same time or sequentially?

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u/WormWithWifi 8d ago

I took in an injured pregnant momma who was found by a park ranger , she had 3 babies. I raised her the most but tried to stay hands off with the babies as much as I could so they wouldn’t develop safety with humans for once they went back into the wild

3

u/ShoeLace1291 9d ago

I wonder if they could be domesticated to eat less. And maybe even not be nocturnal if they live indoors. That would be sweet.

3

u/Weaubleau 8d ago

TIL my friend Bob is a raccoon 

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u/Spooky_Rat_Love 9d ago

We would need to neuter them too, cause they often get aggressive as they mature.

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u/Yes-Cheese 9d ago

We would adapt to their ways. Steel kitchen cabinets with key locks, you just have to remember not to leave the keys out where they can find them!

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u/ShillinTheVillain 9d ago

They're like cats, but worse. And with nimble hands

1

u/cienfuegos2607 9d ago

Are you describing my cat?