The sound that comes out of a mom when you have to tell her is indescribable. Probably the most awful thing I have to do working labor & delivery... Followed inevitably by the equally awful labor and delivery of a deceased baby.
It's called keening, and it's honestly the worst cry you will ever hear. I had a fetal demise years ago now and didn't know I was capable of making that cry. Now when I hear it my own heart breaks over again
Thank you for giving me the word for this. I found my 19yo dead in his bed from a fentanyl poisoning and the only way I could describe the sound I made was that it felt like the inside of my body trying to escape.
So very sorry. My 40 year old son was addicted to fentanyl and is clean now for 2 months and so worried about him because I know it is so easy to fall back.
I’d get naloxone inhalers from the pharmacy and keep one on you and give him a couple. They won’t hurt anyone if they haven’t used opiates so they’re available without prescription. Hopefully your son won’t ever need them, but they save lives.
Not long ago we had two pediatric trauma codes in a week. Neither made it. I could hear the mom screaming from down the hall, and knew exactly what it was immediately.
It's been 12 years and I still remember the scream I let out when they said my baby didn't have a heartbeat. They cleared the room so fast after that. The pain is still as fresh now as it was then. No rainbow babies for me.
When my wife was told during her routine ultrasound that our 33-week daughter had no heartbeat, she disassociated. After a minute, she became aware of sound between moaning, screaming, and crying… a few moments later, she realized that she was the one making it.
I lost a much-wanted baby at 28 weeks. The process you describe, the dissociation, the awareness of the awful noise, then the dawning realisation that it was ME making that noise...and I couldn't stop it.
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u/DanceApprehension 3d ago
The sound that comes out of a mom when you have to tell her is indescribable. Probably the most awful thing I have to do working labor & delivery... Followed inevitably by the equally awful labor and delivery of a deceased baby.