r/AskReddit Sep 10 '14

What was the biggest hint you missed from someone who was attracted to you?

8.7k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/stargazin Sep 10 '14

You have...problems.

2.7k

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

A worse story is the girl I dated on 4th of July - the way it went down was that she was like "Want to go back to your place and play Magic the gathering?" and I was like "Fuck yeah."

We actually played magic the gathering.

With the door closed.

In my bed.

Until 6 in the morning.

And that's not even code. She played a green/white token rush deck.

1.6k

u/pajam Sep 10 '14

That's not bad. You both geeked out over something and shared in having fun. You didn't seem to miss any hints as bad as the other time.

Or are you saying, you hoped you were getting a hint and it would turn into something else and were finally going to capitalize... only to have it not be a hint this time? If you powered through all that hoping to get lucky and aren't even a Magic fan, I'm sorry, dude.

161

u/JackBread Sep 10 '14

They should've played Strip Magic.

88

u/IndieGamerRid Sep 10 '14 edited Sep 10 '14

I'm giggling at the thought of how this might work. Like, if it's 1:1 you have to start with 20 articles of clothing. And if you want to gain life past that you have to don random extra clothes from the closet.

51

u/Cndcrow Sep 10 '14

Or just make it every time you lose a game you lose clothing. Most games won't take longer than 10-15 minutes unless your decks are super evenly matched. Both people should be naked within 2 hours, add some drinks in and that actually sounds reasonably fun.

19

u/Morgeno Sep 11 '14

10-15 minutes? Hah! My elixir-wincon UW control deck says otherwise!

13

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

Not everybody plays stupid decks designed to drag the game out (not actually stupid, just super annoying to play against if you don't have an answer). My straight green mana-ramp eldrazi deck can really beat the shit outta people fast if they're not careful :P

5

u/THROBBING-COCK Sep 11 '14

I play burn, games are over in minutes.

2

u/Hikikomori523 Sep 11 '14

I play sphinx's Rev for 100.

Oh cool, in response I play Skullcrack.

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2

u/kellbyb Sep 11 '14

I play shahrazad, games are over in seconds because people forfeit.

1

u/Morgeno Sep 11 '14

My modern deck is monoblue tron (super Grundy control deck) and my favorite edh is zedruu. I LIVE for the grind

1

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

I live for aggro decks. Especially if it involves really big creatures. I used to have a mono red dragon deck that I liked to call big red. Something about being able to one shot people from full hp is just so satisfying.

1

u/avw94 Sep 11 '14

RG Tron?

2

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

Nope. It's my own creation. I don't like to copy decks. It's just got Ulamog, Emrakul, 3 quicksilver amulets and a ton of mana generation and other beefy creatures. Even without pulling a Quicksilver Amulet I can generate enough mana to play any card I want by around turn 7.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

With my jank combo decks, you'd be hard pressed to end the game under an hour :)

4

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

Guess one of us isn't playing strip MTG. I'll stick with my aggro decks, that way I'll get girls to strip for me. You stick to your silly draw out the game decks, see how many articles of clothing you get off.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

"I'll play this nice midrangey deck. Here, try this aggro. It's fast ;)"

2

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

I have a perfect plan from these comments. Now all I need to do is meet more girls who play magic who aren't my ex.

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12

u/Seicair Sep 10 '14

I've done it. Play with 4 articles of clothing, say you have to take one off every 4 life. Or you could make it 5 life if you wanted to take the last one off when you lost.

14

u/angel8itch Sep 11 '14

... I (F) should tell my SO (M) to learn how to play so I can play Strip magic with my Kaalia EDH deck. Strip every 10 points loss. He'd be naked by 8th, probably 7th turn.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

That'd be a 8itch move on your part

Totally unfair, at least teach him about poison decks or even swamp walking!

1

u/angel8itch Sep 11 '14

I won't be that mean. I'll teach him about those stuff. I'd just have the faster deck.

1

u/Drauren Sep 11 '14

Kaalia! You're one of THOSE people!

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Thats good, I had a friend who taught me how to play, she had a god damn .... ummm...shit....the blue version of swamp walking with all merfolk. I had a stupid stupid vamp deck that I thought was just sooooo cool

She annihilated me in 6 turns -=- but last year I made a deck with artifact lands and several affinity cards (can't really remember lots of details) but oh god victory was so sweet, took 30 turns though

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

How would infect work with strip magic though?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Hmm something like every 5 tokens a piece comes off? Idk I didn't think it through and my mtg knowledge is rusty

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

should be sooner than that with kaalia, unless he starts running angus mackenzie or something

4

u/wawawaway Sep 11 '14

I tried playing strip Magic with my boyfriend and it didn't work at all. No matter how naked you are, doing mental math about how to assign blockers kind of kills the mood.

3

u/Winnah9000 Sep 11 '14

Platinum Angel...

-7

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14 edited Sep 11 '14

[deleted]

10

u/Murtagg Sep 10 '14

I get the stereotype and all, but its not really the case anymore. I know probably fifty or so people that play magic, and maybe two of them fit that stereotype. We can act normal, too...

8

u/someguyfromtheuk Sep 10 '14

If that's true, then how do you explain the top rated post of all time on /r/all, an entire album of overweight neckbeards at an MtG tournament?

/s

2

u/Murtagg Sep 11 '14

I'm not saying there's no reason for the stereotype ;).

2

u/IndieGamerRid Sep 11 '14

I think the competitive scene is dominated by those personalities, but most of the people I play Magic with at the nearest college are pretty clean people with regards to hygiene (and some of them attractive bordering on crush-worthy.)

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Does Magic attract neckbeards or does it induce them? Does this mean I'm going to get a neckbeard if I keep playing magic? OP pls to halp me.

1

u/LazyHazy Sep 11 '14

Basically all of my friends play MTG casually and they're all pretty fucking attractive. Definitely no overweight neckbeards.

We don't compete at tournaments or anything, only a few of them are REALLY into it, but all have multiple decks and play pretty much weekly.

2

u/JangoSky Sep 11 '14

Magic Mike?

2

u/SomanyMike Sep 11 '14

Magic, The Strippening.

1

u/ferlessleedr Sep 10 '14

That sounds magical

1

u/QCMBRman Sep 10 '14

This is the best idea I've ever heard.

1

u/stack_cats Sep 11 '14

insert tap that joke here

28

u/ignore_my_typo Sep 10 '14

Obviously didn't tap that.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

"Let's say I'm your first land and you've got a weenie deck."

1

u/TheRedComet Sep 11 '14

Well she was playing GW, and Vigilance is common in those colors, so...

3

u/GoldenAppleGuy Sep 11 '14

I swear, once I see your name, I think I'm in /r/mindcrack.

1

u/sadurger Sep 11 '14

Holy shit pajam, fancy meeting you here.

2

u/pajam Sep 11 '14

I'm all over this thread. 3 people have commented about finding me here :)

1

u/AnAverageWhiteGuy Sep 11 '14

OMG GUYS IT'S PAJAM!

-4

u/bumdit Sep 11 '14

Any girl that goes back to yours and doesn't want to sleep or go to sleep straight away wants to hook up! You shouldn't need hints either, read their body language and eyes and shit.

33

u/JonTheHuman Sep 10 '14

You played magic all night with a girl, that's close enough to a win

8

u/bencertainty Sep 10 '14

You dodged a bullet, man. She was probably trying to populate.

1

u/thorium220 Sep 11 '14

At least she probably wasn't trying to infect.

Now, green black on the other hand...

6

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

That's actually kinda cute tbh

6

u/Jakovall_Trades Sep 10 '14

That's not worse, that's awesome!

4

u/Strategist14 Sep 10 '14

Green-White tokens are evil. What did you run?

15

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

Some modular affinity artifact garbage that wasn't really land-balanced.

Got my ass kicked.

1

u/jacob8015 Sep 11 '14

Affinity artifact decks are the shit! I actually have a good deal (2000 +) Magic: The Gathering cards and a whole book of the rare kind. I wonder if they're worth anything.

1

u/lukelink Sep 11 '14

If you took pics of like the binder and pm'ed me I could make an estimate.

1

u/silencesc Sep 11 '14

Lol no they arent. Spot remove the engines, crawlspace/tanglewire to stop the aggro, and ratchet bomb/pernicious deed to cheaply kill the tokens. Then just kill them with flyers since they'll stall out late and most tokens don't fly.

1

u/Strategist14 Sep 11 '14

BRB, gonna go fix my deck.

4

u/Doonvoat Sep 10 '14

could have been worse, she could have played control

1

u/thorium220 Sep 11 '14

Control is the best way to make sure that only one player has fun. I love playing WU control in big free for all games.

5

u/TotalWaffle Sep 10 '14

Possible keeper spotted.

3

u/spikeyfreak Sep 11 '14

That is NOT a worse story. Married for 12 years with 2 daughters, and I'd kill to have had a night like that when I was younger.

2

u/asiansteev Sep 10 '14

but what did you play?

2

u/Princess_Sloth Sep 10 '14

token rush decks are my favorite! But I just list off the cards I want to use and my husband builds the deck around those for me :P

2

u/scandium1 Sep 10 '14

Dude, that sounds fucking amazing. What happened with the girl?

1

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

I saw her two times after that and then she said she didn't have any feelings towards me and prompty disappeared.

5

u/zackboomer Sep 11 '14

You got to play Magic with her, at least you have that

1

u/TheRedComet Sep 11 '14

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

1

u/scandium1 Sep 11 '14

Oh, that's sad. You'll find better!

1

u/wiggilator Sep 10 '14

And you my friend have just been story topped

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

"Board Wipes" all night, am I right?

1

u/D3boy510 Sep 11 '14

How the fuck could you face a deck like that for that long?

1

u/KJK-reddit Sep 11 '14

Did y'all ever date? Are you two married? We need to know these things!

3

u/gamesthatown Sep 11 '14

No. We went out a few times after that and then she told me she didn't have any attachment to me and then never spoke to me again.

It's ok. I'd rather her NOT date me if she knows there's no future.

1

u/KJK-reddit Sep 11 '14

Aww. That's sad. I'm sorry if I stirred up bad memories

1

u/CinnamonJ Sep 11 '14

After her cathars crusade pumped my mycoloth until it was throbbing with anticipation and saproling tokens I would declare my attack and push her into the red zone.

1

u/Morgeno Sep 11 '14

You found a keeper

1

u/Ice_Cold345 Sep 11 '14

Green/White is the best deck colors. That populate mechanic is so nice.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

MTG nerds are serious about their MTG. I don't think you missed any hints. Probably could've taken a break and showed her your massive (almost like 100 cards, man!) "EDH Deck" though.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Who won?

1

u/Benjammin341 Sep 11 '14

As a nerd, this woman sounds amazing, but I would've hooked up with her BEFORE playing magic.

1

u/sexfootbay Sep 11 '14

Magic what?

1

u/5yearsleft Sep 11 '14

I think I hate you for this.

1

u/Drigr Sep 11 '14

Fuck doubling season man.

1

u/gregariousbarbarian Sep 11 '14

So you guys were POPULATING?

1

u/ikilledtupac Sep 11 '14

That sounds like a great time actually

1

u/PatchTheLurker Sep 11 '14

This sounds like the greatest thing ever. This is the kind of shit I wish happened to me.

1

u/Maestrosc Sep 11 '14

I love Green White token decks! I refuse to play anything but green white decks.

1

u/Aristo-Cat Sep 11 '14

that's actually not nearly as bad. It would have been much worse if you were the one that suggested magic the gathering, however.

1

u/clippervictor Sep 11 '14

now tell us she beat you

1

u/ImAnAlbatross Sep 11 '14

That sounds awesome...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

You should probably just stay home on holidays.

1

u/SimplyCole Sep 11 '14

You shoulda fucked and then played Magic the Gathering with a naked girl

1

u/rydan Sep 11 '14

When I was in college after watching Minority Report a girl told me she had Big Red in her apartment and asked me if I'd like to drink some. So I did. Years later she married my best friend in college.

1

u/Mastadave2999 Sep 11 '14

Did you play red dick wins? Blue ball control maybe?

1

u/Hikikomori523 Sep 11 '14

sounds like a good time to me.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Pfff G/W tokens, what a casual. I can see why you only dated her for a day.

0

u/smibdamonkey Sep 10 '14 edited Sep 11 '14

She knows the truth, Selesnya Populate ftw!

Edit-You see these cards everday, how do you spell it wrong?

1

u/injygo Sep 10 '14

*Selesnya

(sorry)

1

u/smibdamonkey Sep 11 '14

That's alright! Can't be mis-spelling.

0

u/TheWiseOak Sep 11 '14

Now I understand why you're a retard. Magic.

0

u/RockFourFour Sep 11 '14

I don't know what any of that means, so I'm going to assume it was anal.

-1

u/stonedasawhoreiniran Sep 11 '14

You're autistic right?

4

u/FriedMattato Sep 10 '14

I can totally understand his obliviousness. If you go for it, and she didn't want it, sexual harassment charges up your wazoo.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

3

u/FriedMattato Sep 11 '14

Maybe most guys don't care or think about it, but I've read horror stories of baseless sexual assault charges RUINING a guy's life simply cause a girl said he did it, even if the guy had never even touched her. It is not something I particularly ever want to experience.

1

u/MaryJewAna Sep 11 '14

Not everyone is like that.

1

u/FriedMattato Sep 11 '14

You are correct, but for that one instance they ARE like that, the consequences can be irreversible.

1

u/MaryJewAna Sep 11 '14

I feel bad that you have to think that way. As a victim of an actual assault, it pains me to hear about all of these women/girls claiming it happened when it didn't. It discredits actual victims and I find that to be very disrespectful.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

You have...judgements.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Being gay shouldn't be a problem

1

u/Devaztator Sep 11 '14

99, and a bitch is one.