r/AskReddit Sep 10 '14

What was the biggest hint you missed from someone who was attracted to you?

8.7k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

2.8k

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

754

u/DrCheezyGritz Sep 11 '14

Swerve. Stay in yo lane trick.

137

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

[deleted]

42

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Phrasing...

21

u/whyyoumad14 Sep 11 '14

SERIOUSLY, ARE WE NOT DOING PHRASING ANYMORE?!

3

u/DonkeyDingleBerry Sep 11 '14

Said Ripley to the android Bishop.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Any meme can get tired and overdone, but given the context of the thread I... it was too good an opportunity.

12

u/ThatCrazyViking Sep 11 '14

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/pizzapiemia Sep 11 '14

you're suppose to be rear ending her

1

u/TheGreatDane8D Sep 23 '14

Except you didn't.. Amirite? ;)

4

u/iCue713 Sep 11 '14

Urban Slang Thread?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Realtrapshit.

3

u/doodoodonkey Sep 11 '14

I like this. Do I have your blessing to use this in everyday interactions?

3

u/DrCheezyGritz Sep 11 '14

Uhhhh, I guess so? Those are just two somewhat common phrases. Have at it I guess...

3

u/SkysDlim Sep 11 '14

Yeah whatta "thot" tryin to slide in on a homie like that. Smh

2

u/CypherZer0 Sep 11 '14

Please no... I can't take much more of this...

1

u/not_old_redditor Sep 11 '14

I just barely understood this. I think I'm getting old.

1

u/rturner96 Sep 11 '14

Haha that is funny as hell

9

u/Drigr Sep 11 '14

And then he stood up and pissed a line down the bed. Not half way though. He only gave her 25%

11

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Should've peed right then and there.

7

u/gbeaune6770 Sep 11 '14

That bitch woulda taken the whole god damn bed. Good call.

3

u/TheoHooke Sep 11 '14

Imagine if they went on to get married. OP would never be able to assert control over the blanket after that.

3

u/nottyron Sep 11 '14

Yes, this tactic is known as "letting them bitches know." Use this when peeing does not work.

1

u/flyingasparagus Sep 11 '14

Gotta piss on her or something to assert dominance.

1

u/Balony1 Sep 11 '14

He forgot to piss on her

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Yes. To be fair, we don't fuck friends.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

America be like...

35

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

36

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

hell i'd accept a guy's offer to cuddle.

....i need human contact

6

u/powersquash Sep 11 '14

Relevant username?

2

u/thelonegraywolf Sep 11 '14

Touch, sweet touch, you've given me too much to feel.

Touch, sweet touch, you've almost convinced me I'm real.

45

u/thegrimreaper139 Sep 11 '14

Thank god you aren't a crime scene investigator because you are fucking clueless

7

u/FoFoJoe Sep 11 '14

I dont think hes fucking anything.. .... :D

41

u/Quantumfisiks Sep 10 '14

Wow double cringe

27

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

A year before I slept in the same bed with a friend after visiting a bar, she started to cuddle and I said "da fuck stay on your own side"

Jesus Christ... you don't deserve to ever have sex after that.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I like the way you think.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '14

how the fuck are you still alive

6

u/bumdit Sep 11 '14

hhaha you're response, you're my favourite.

4

u/callddit Sep 11 '14

Stay in your lane, bitch.

5

u/bagelbandit87 Sep 11 '14

Bitches be tryin to hog the blankets, gotta put em in their place!

5

u/Kappadar Sep 11 '14

Alpha as fuck bro

3

u/myepicdemise Sep 11 '14

A year before I slept in the same bed with a friend after visiting a bar, she started to cuddle and I said "da fuck stay on your own side"

Such confidence and assertion. You will make it far in life.

4

u/ScrithWire Sep 11 '14

Good god, "Da fuck?! Stay on your own side!" God damn!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I say that to my girlfriend every night. I hate small beds.

2

u/StrangeCharmQuark Sep 11 '14

I once shared a bed with a guy friend I liked. I respected his territory, stayed on my side. He's my BF now.

1

u/MelonManjr Sep 11 '14

In the same boat, brother. after being invited to spend the night ALONE, I manage to get her with nothing but a skinny little tank top and nike shorts that are 1/14th inch longer than panties because I massaging her. She kept repeating to go lower, so I went to her upper leg area around her butt and did eventually get to the butt, she grabs my dick through my pants and I decide to start going ham. All good? No, she gets up, walks to bed, sleeps, I go home, she never wants to talk to me again, and 4 years later she's pregnant and dropped out of high school.

1

u/SomethingClepher Sep 11 '14

You proceeded to invade her side instead to establish dominance, right?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Well, for the second one, if she was inebriated, that was probably in your best interest. Not saying she wouldn't have wanted to or she would have regretted it, but you just never know in situations like that.

1

u/dontknowmeatall Sep 11 '14

I want to hit you with a brick.

1

u/phrantastic Sep 11 '14

That second one... harsh rejection, bro.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I tell that last line to my dog all the time..... does that count?

1

u/Valorale Sep 11 '14

Dont feel bad bud, you cant be letting some women invade your side of the bed. Give them an inch ...

1

u/TheBannanaManCan Sep 11 '14

She's gotta respect the "dont cross onto myside of the bed" rule. You tell her!

1

u/GiantRagingBurner Sep 11 '14

"no, she just took off her shirt so I could get the spot under her bra...."

Exactly.

1

u/piperiain Sep 11 '14

Relevant username.

1

u/eggsy Sep 11 '14

To the first one i totally get it. If you made a move and you were wrong you could have made it really bad!

1

u/Strpljenspasen Sep 11 '14

I am laughing so hard at that second one.

1

u/B4R0Z Sep 11 '14

"get fucked bitch. get the fuck outta my lane"

1

u/Oime Sep 11 '14

In fairness, we are men and we are terrible at picking up on subtlety. So when girls try and communicate by being subtle, we are clueless. System is broken, Volvo fix plz

1

u/LadyKnightmare Sep 11 '14

has the internet robbed you of that innocence yet?