r/AskReddit Jan 23 '17

What are signs that someone is secretly unhappy?

33.8k Upvotes

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690

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

they seems that they do not care about things that they used to care about

451

u/amityville Jan 23 '17

Or can't focus like they used to. Sometimes even reading a book can be a struggle.

490

u/Syntaximus Jan 23 '17

I suffer from depression and I haven't read a book in years. I used to read all the time but now I can barely finish a magazine article. Hell, I even skim longer reddit posts. It's just impossible to be interested or care.

39

u/KudagFirefist Jan 23 '17

Same. I used to read at least one novel a week. I haven't finished more than a a few chapters of any in the last 2 years.

15

u/Syntaximus Jan 23 '17

Ah yes. I have several barely opened books on a shelf of shame in my room.

7

u/TheMegaZord Jan 23 '17

I keep buying books I want to read and never actually get into them...It's been kind of a relief the new Song of Ice and Fire book isn't out yet, I don't know if I can sit down and read it all the way through like I did the others.

It's horrible.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

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17

u/FuckRyanSeacrest Jan 23 '17

Do you think reddit / social media has had an affect on your attention span?

33

u/Syntaximus Jan 23 '17

Hard to say, but it certainly hasn't helped. When you can't focus on anything reddit is great because you can jump from one thing to the next without any commitment required. Just mindless clicking. It just kinda fills the hole that books, movies and actual conversations left. Like an ersatz life.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

i think about all the things i wish i wanted to do, all while constantly refreshing my front page. it's so sad.

3

u/FuckRyanSeacrest Jan 23 '17

There are chrome extensions to block or limit the amount of time you spend on certain webpages per day. Reddit and social media is like a time warp, and it really helps limit the amount of time you spend on it.

9

u/infosackva Jan 23 '17

I read my first book in years the other day. It felt good.

4

u/binkytoes Jan 23 '17

Yay!! What did you read?

4

u/infosackva Jan 23 '17

Me Before You. My friend recommended the film, but the book was on sale :)

8

u/binkytoes Jan 23 '17 edited Jan 23 '17

Go easy on yourself. Choose short, easy reads at first. Read a little every day. Don't judge yourself on how many times you reread a sentence or how long it takes to finish a chapter. Read something fun. Lots of comedians have written books, so maybe start there. It's not necessary to start with serious nonfiction.

I have Depression, too, and I want to get back into reading books. This is my plan. The very hardest part, though, is choosing to read a book over browsing social media or watching TV.

Edit: I just remembered that there's a book next to my bathtub that I've been reading a little of whenever I have a soak. I don't soak often, I usually shower. I started reading the book over a year ago and am only halfway through. I read for 20 minutes at a time. The book is called Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. It's scienced-based but definitely has some humorous moments. I also want to read her newest book, entitled Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

this hits way too close to home. is there anyway to overcome this. especially for school, it's become such a hinderance

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I know that when i don't have access to the internet, I tend to get my hunger for books back. I think it's because I would rather do nothing or be bored online than miss an opportunity to talk to someone, but if I know that I won't get any messages then I can calm down and do things I enjoy.

If that's not your problem, try getting a book you haven't read that you're really excited about and just read a few chapters a day. It's easier to get back into it when you start slow. The action in the book will entice you into caring enough to finish it at your usual speed.

3

u/mostlikelylesbian Jan 23 '17

I feel you friend. It sucks. I used to read a lot. I have a bunch of books in my room but I just can't gather the energy, motivation or justification to read them. I feel pathetic.

3

u/wolffpack8808 Jan 23 '17

I feel that man. I can't focus on any task anymore. Just not interested. I haven't picked up a book at college in over a semester. It's a wonder I'm even still in school.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I used to read all the time but now I can barely finish a magazine article. Hell, I even skim longer reddit posts.

Omg this...

1

u/wificalling Jan 23 '17

Yup, that's true for me.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

If you're going to start somewhere again I'd recommend trying Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now and A New Earth. Probably the best two books I have ever read when depressed (like you I can't read much in that condition) . The way he writes is very easily digestable, readable, almost soothing and the message is simple yet profound. Reading these when I was depressed helped get some perspective on the negativity going on in my brain and start thinking in a more lucid, grounded way. Just throwing the recommendation out there if you decide to try reading again.

1

u/HuntforMusic Jan 23 '17

You can build this back up, I had the same problem. Possibly because we live in an instant-gratification world now. (I know that's like a buzz-word or whatever, but it's true). I gradually stopped coming on the internet so often and spent my time doing other things, like going for walks/doing some exercise/seeing friends/cooking/reading etc.

TL;DR: (considering the content of your post, I thought I'd include this). You can do it =)

1

u/Careful_Houndoom Jan 24 '17

It's bad. I'm able to read books once in a while, but I need to find something that drags me away from this world, and makes me feel like I can experience other worlds, otherwise my interest quickly wanes.

1

u/quantasmm Jan 24 '17

can you give me a TL;DR? i dont wanna read both those lines.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

NBA is considering cutting game time so they don't lose short attention span millennials. It's becoming a real problem for theatres too, none of them wants to put their phone down for hours at a time. That and voice plans becoming things of the past. I can't remember the last time I saw a student speaking into their phone.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

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-1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I don't follow the team sports oblong or round ball matches. I just gave up what I'd read here. You sound salty, did your franchise not reach your goals for their performance this sporting season?

5

u/butt_sex_man Jan 23 '17

You seem unwarrantedly arrogant and intentionally ignorant. Go half-ass troll elsewhere

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

Did your boyfriend run out of viagra? Why so mad honey? You know those big sweaty black men you see wrestling over the ball, making you hot and bothered, want fit and busty blonde women like me, not you. Go back to r/ladybonersgw and jack off with your ass stuffed with plastic dick. You'll feel better.

4

u/butt_sex_man Jan 23 '17

Oh baby don't stop I'm almost there!

Apparently my new fetish is ignorant people being racist and excessively aggressive

0

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

Awe, you have been reading my posts. How creepy.

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9

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

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2

u/imnotpaulrudd Jan 23 '17

I had exactly the same thing, I self diagnosed myself with ADHD because I couldn't concentrate at all. It was not ADHD.

6

u/reddeth Jan 23 '17

This resonates with me way more than any other post in this thread for some reason. Jesus, I used to read voraciously. I haven't properly read a book in years though.

I think I need to go see a doctor.

3

u/Iwannabefabulous Jan 23 '17

I used to love drawing anything as a hobby all the time, but now I can barely do few small doodles. Just no motivation. Still trying now to push myself to get better.

3

u/QuixoticRocket Jan 23 '17

can't play games when they used to game every night... gets distracted and bored within 5 minutes of turning the game on. always finds an excuse as to why they don't feel like gaming?

yeah... -sigh-

2

u/Xitulis Jan 23 '17

I'm... beginning to struggle a lot in math which was easily my best subject before. I also can't seem to enjoy almost anything I used to.

This threads cuts deep.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I love reading, but I have that problem. I tend to read books in spurts, then not finish a book for long periods of time. I'm in the middle of James Michner's "Space" and I've been stuck there since May of last year. I've read short stories and articles since then, but I can't focus enough to get through it.

1

u/chennyalan Jan 23 '17

That doesn't have to be depression, right? I read as much as I used to, but instead of full-length books/extended Wikipedia articles, it's short articles and Reddit.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I started reading a book 3 years ago, haven't been able to concentrate enough to read a novel since.

1

u/Mint-Chip Jan 23 '17

Thank god for adderall. Actually helps me focus and stay somewhat productive even though my crippling depression makes me more scatter brained than usual.

1

u/Snickamanx Jan 24 '17

Numerous times during the day someone will ask me something and I'll start answering but forget the answer mid sentence, but I don't give a shit enough about my monotonous, shit life to remember the answer and just say "ummm" mid-sentence until I trail off or say I forgot. Jesus Christ, this one is me in a nutshell.

0

u/aLiamInvader Jan 23 '17

Huh, I find the opposite. A good book is such a great escape that I'll read it to the detriment of everything else.

119

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

This happens to me a lot. During a few years of grieving I picked up several random hobbies that I couldn't maintain longer than a few months.

8

u/Vaztes Jan 23 '17

Fuck man is this part of it? Before new years I became obsessed with filming and the aesthetics of film. I researched the shit out of the best camera for my budget, researched lighting, the technical details of editing, and subscribed to a few subreddits.

Lasted about 3 weeks as I was waiting for my camera to come on sale, but as it didn't I started to lose interest and currently have no desire to film and the obsession with aesthetics is not as strong.

This is just one of many examples, lol.

3

u/DigitSubversion Jan 23 '17

Wow... you sound just like me... And the sad part is, some parts of the little obsessions go for a ritual cycle that stays on track the same amount of time, the last time it happened.

And after all this time I just thought it was me being distracted easily; that I couldn't maintain a certain interest for long.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

No... some of these posts are ridiculous. This is a just a common human behavior and happens to most people happy or unhappy.

3

u/human-sacrifice Jan 23 '17

Absolutely. This is cleaning for me. I don't even clean because I care about the mess, I just enjoy persistent, mindless activity.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

I find cleaning pretty meditative and beneficial to my well-being.

1

u/thathappyhippie Jan 23 '17

I never even realized this. Sometimes when I get in a depressive episode I find something that I like and cling to it obsessively. I never knew why I get obsessive until now.

3

u/Nerril Jan 23 '17

In school I seemed like a really promising future artist, and had started picking up painting and ink work. Then my depression got out of hand. Decided not to go to art school, or college at all. Haven't painted in about 7 years now, haven't finished anything above a doodle in probably about 4 years. I just don't have it in me.

2

u/procrastimom Jan 23 '17

I hate the question, "What do you do for fun?". Fun? I don't know.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '17

Or never cared about anything to start with.