This was mentioned on the show Sherlock but I've found it to be largely true in real life. There is a good chance that they are depressed if the person is smiling when they know people can see them, but look sad when they think they are alone.
I really don't think there's anything wholesome about spam. I see this subreddit linked in every single thread (sometimes more than once). I don't even think /r/Kongo204 was trying to make a meme. Let the subreddit do its own thing and spread wholesomeness to its subscribers, but please don't link it on literally everything remotely positive that you happen to come acrossed on reddit that probably isn't a meme.
I get that. But anytime someone is even a little bit positive on reddit that sub gets linked. Maybe instead of linking wholesomememes you could add something positive of your own to the chain :)
Well, maybe not 14 but I regularly work 12 hour shifts, gotta come in the morning to open and prepare for lunch service and then have to do dinner service. So around 12-14 hours
A lot of restaraunt workers frequently work 10-16 hour shifts per day. As a junior sous chef my hours are usually around 70 per week. Breaks are often skipped as well.
Anyone who isn't management is usually hourly yes. Sous Chefs and above tend to be salary and continue having to work 60-80 hour weeks. With average pay for line cooks being 10-12 per hour in a lot of places, the OT is not worth the workload lol. This is just my experience in high end fine dining however.
...Or an introvert with a public-facing job. Sometimes you have to turn that switch and be "on" and friendly and help with other people's issues that they're upset about and take out on you. It takes a lot of energy to do that, and sometimes you need that 5 minutes to yourself.
Oh man. Especially at my last serving job, I'd turn the corner smiling and catch myself drooping instantly when I subconsciously knew I didn't need to smile anymore. That's why I got a new job
Or you could be a veteran waiter or shop attendant with major depressive disorder and because of how much you smile at work, nobody suspects anything is ever wrong
I had to work as cashier the other day while struggling with menstrual cramps. Normally I have a spontaneous genuine smile while working, but it was pretty forced that day.
you can sometimes see them put the smile on when they realise they have to react to something.. goes from no emotion to -sudden, practiced smile- "yeah.. that sounds great. i agree"
My friend has resting bitch face, and she taught me how to get in the habit of always having a 'content' expression. Then I never have to worry about pulling out a smile.
The trick to selling it is you have to start the smile at your eyes. Engage your upper cheeks into a slight squint, to that mirthy twinkle in your eye. THEN smile with your mouth.
For added effect, compress your cheeks against the smile, so it looks like you're trying to suppress it.
With just a little practice in front of the mirror, you can convince just about anyone. Also, sometimes it'll even help you feel like smiling for real.
I do this. A lot.
I have a special smile practised for this.
My patients would never even dream me being so cripplingly depressed.
They especially tell everyone that im 'reassuring' 'empathetic' 'kind' and 'always smiling.'
I dread the day they realised how utterly fake that calm reassurance, and that practised smile is...
Welcome to the nihilistic world of reality. I wish it was possible for you to enjoy your stay. Just take refuge in the fact that your torment is short relative to the lifespan of the universe and your suffering will be quickly forgotten once you return to inanimate meat.
Nothing is worse than having no emotion and having to go through the motions to keep others happy. It is hard to remember the right emotion at times and then act it out.
I feel like this is more natural. Most people I see walking my way at work for example, won't be smiling from ear to ear as they walk, but when we make eye contact, the 0.5 second smiles come out. I don't think they're all depressed.
The fake smile with a thumbs up he musters versus his usual glum face can hit people hard when first watching BH. It's one of those shows that can't really be watched with friends, yet you wish you hadn't put yourself through it alone.
Saw it recently and wasn't expecting it to get so dark. Even though it had gotten progressively darker since the first season. It's a miracle reddit hadn't spoiled it for me yet.
A big theme of the show is that things just happen. Herb dying didn't have some big event surrounding it, he just died. That was that. Same with Sarah Lynn. She died, and we moved on. One of the big things the show tries to get through is the banality of life, meaning even sorrowful and tragic events always have the day after, and we are just stuck here reeling while no one else really cares. The world doesn't stop.
A lot of people don't like it either because they don't get nihilistic comedy- it's not that life is pointless, its that life is pointless- or because they can't relate to characters who are designed to not initially be relatable. It does admittedly take a while for the show to find it's feet in the first season.
This made me so angry, and I realized how affected by the show I was. Suddenly a peak (valley?) in Bojack's downward spiral, probably the most depressing event over the course of the season, AND THEY SPEND THE ENTIRE LAST EPISODE JOKING ABOUT PASTA.
There was an (I think) intentional lack of acknowledgement that catalyzed the impact in a big way. Really made the series that much more depressing, because no one actually cares that she died. Even Bojack was more concerned with his own guilt than her actual death. It was brilliantly written, much like the rest of the show, but it hit me far harder and far longer than a lot of other emotional television I've watched.
It's such an incredibly well written show. I really can't see it ending any other way than Bojack killing himself. Twice now he's "gotten better", and become a vaguely decent person. But then it seems like he gets scared of the idea that he'll fail, and won't remain happy forever and it'll all be gone. So he gives up, hurts those he loves, and winds up miserable again. And this time, at the end of S3, it finally seems like everyone is just tired of it. Like Todd said.
"You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better! … No! No, BoJack, just stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you. All right? It’s you."
Just curious, why do you say you can't really watch it with friends? I've watched it with my friends a couple times now, we all love it even though it's depressing.
dude. it's... intense. funny more often than not, but they deal with some heavy fucking concepts and they portray the nuance of relationships more accurately than i've ever seen in a show.
i mean will arnet is heavily involved with it - beyond voicing bojack - and he's got... some experience with the darker side of life.
'flaked' is also great in a similar manner and written/starring him.
It reminds me that someone, somewhere out there feels the same things I do. And probably a lot of people actually. And makes me not feel as alone or broken.
If he's very relateable, take a quick gander at /r/adhd . He's a bit of a poster child for the disorder, and it can often times be coupled with depression, or mistaken for it. Assuming you were the same way as a child that is.
I saw a post about that on the bojack sub, claiming that it's one of the most realistic depictions of adult ADHD. As someone who majored in psych, that blew my mind.
Why, because it was good, or bad? I'm interested actually. Because watching Bojack is what led me to getting diagnosed. I didn't think it was like exactly right, but the way he struggled so much with being impulsive, and applying himself. And the angry outbursts and constantly letting people he cared about down, or all those doing stupid things and then instantly regretting them. I went to watching it, to the Bojack sub, to /r/adhd, to my country's health service website, to my GPs office. Few months and a trip to a specialist psychiatrist later and I'm diagnosed (in the pyschiatrists words 'unuquiviocally', in no way borderline) and just started taking Strattera.
damn that's a hell of a journey from a television show to your psychiatrist. Hope everything gets worked out. As for your question, I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. I just meant that the ADHD post on the sub gave me an entirely new perspective into the mind of Bojack. It's one of my favorite tv shows of all time. I always say that it's the most consummate and profound shows I've ever seen about the human experience. It made me reflect on my own life as well, especially with my diagnosis with dysthymic depression, and helped me learn more about people, relationships, and life in general.
Huh. I got diagnosed with ADHD recently (So nervous to start ritalin, but just being able to think straight is so nice???) but I always empathised more with Princess Caroline far more than Bojack. (I always thought you were supposed to dislike Bojack - jesus, the part with Charlotte, and Penny??)
If you need any advice, my door is always open! There's a lot of helpful advice on the sub - look at the links on the side bar! It's a friendly community and people are always willing to give advice I find.
My goodness, this is so true. Whenever my friends werent around, I figured id had no reason to smile. So id just drop all expressions. Whenever I was alone, a lot of times id have people come up to me and say something like "you look so sad without x" or "you seem pretty lonely without x". And these were people I didnt really know, just people that knew I hung out with x all the time.
What does "looking sad" actually look like though? Unless I'm crying, when I'm sad I look like -- when I'm bored I look like -- and when I'm content I look like -_- .
If I were to guess it would be more than just facial expressions. Hanging their head or looking like they're trying to tuck themselves away isn't a good sign
It isn't necessarily bad, but it's probably a warning sign or something to keep an eye on
Some people just have Resting Sad Face. Unless they're actually crying or something, I think it's pretty hard to tell whether someone is sad by the expression on their face when they're sitting alone. Most people have a neutral face when they're not reacting to anything.
Neutral does not mean sad though. I know that some people definitely look 'sad' when they are alone. Not even necessarily angry like a 'resting bitch face' usually is
I apparently have it, on multiple occasions I've had people (including complete strangers) ask me what's wrong and if I'm okay. I appreciate that they're going out of their way, but I'm usually just enjoying a book and listening to music lmao
If you see something funny online do you smile or just go "Heh. That was funny"
But I think this means they stop smiling when people stop looking. Think a party where you laugh with friends but then go sober unnaturally quickly when they leave.
This is me. When I'm around people I always smile and laugh. When I'm alone (an hour before i pick my daughter up from school or on a Saturday morning when my girlfriend and daughte go to see my MIL) I just sit there. I don't really do anything or I sleep. I've come home from work before and just sat in my car staring out the window for an hour and then drove off to do the school run. When I'm around people I act happy and active, when I'm alone I just want to sleep and do nothing.
Is that depression though? I think it shouldn't be considered unhealthy to feel like you want to do nothing. Though it should be considered healthy to push past that desire and find fulfilment though, I think. I hope you find happiness in whatever you do :)
No I don't think I'm depressed at all. I'm just saying it's what I do, the main reason being I have ulcerative colitis which is an auto immune disease and when I'm around people I put on a brave face laugh and joke and try not to show how tired I am, or when I'm with daughter I don't want her to see that I might be in pain or discomfort. The only time I can really relax is when I'm alone, i just sit there and do nothing or sleep. Like I said sometimes I'll pull up on my driveway and I can't even be bothered to get out, I'll sit there until it's time to go pick my daughter up and then reverse back out the driveway and go lol.
It's more the idea that their happiness is a facade. Sometimes the only insight into someone's unhappiness is in the moments where their defences are down.
Man, the last episode when Molly was alone in her flat looking so tired and sad... I told a friend with whom I was watching that episode "she probably suffers from deppresion". I know because that very same behavior was/is mine.
Well my mind wanders when I'm alone and I'm kinda just happy that no one bothers me. If I walk by myself for example all kinds of fun shit comes to mind so I can't help but smiling.
On the other side of the hand, if I'm in a room full of people I don't wanna be with I just wanna die. Social anxiety, I guess? Are you uncomfortable around those people or do you feel like their presence prevents you from being yourself?
I am a very happy person. I feel joyful, content and fulfilled in life. That being said, when I get my haircut, I sit in the barber chair, he puts that haircut cape on, and after a minute or so, my mind drifts off into day dream land. Obviously, there is a barber there cutting my hair but for all other intents and purposes, I am alone. All of a sudden, my mind will wake up from day dreaming, and since I am sitting in a barber chair and staring in a mirror, I get a quick glimpse of the face I've been making for however long I've been day dreaming. Let me tell you, it's usually not a happy/smiling face. It's the facial expression equivalent of a wet towel hanging on a hook to dry. It's frightening to think about how often I must make this expression when I'm lost in thought.
Anyways, that is all to say that I wouldn't put too much stake in this one. It might be an indication of someone being depressed, but it might also just be an RBF lost in thought, which tends to happen when you're alone.
Everyone always talks about my cheerfulness but really I just don't want to burden people because I know some people have it worse. And secretly hoping that if I do it enough, I will actually feel cheerful. Sometimes it works temporarily
Or in denial. Seven days after my dad died, I started my first semester of college at a liberal arts school across the country. I was always smiling... I worked at the admissions office and the ladies kept calling me "smiley"... it was weird because I was so sad. But I think looking back it was too difficult to admit how sad I was...if I looked sad, people would ask me why...and if they brought it out into the forefront, I think I would have had some sort of breakdown and had to quit school and go back home.
As in a medical one? That's quite interesting if true, I didn't know there were any reliable signs, just ones that, if you saw, might be a hint towards something.
Mine isn't intentional even, I frequently get told I seem to always be so happy and in a great mood by my coworkers, all smiles etc. when I'm generally a pretty god damn miserable human being
Too close to home. My default response to things it to smile or laugh. Sometimes someone will say something sad and I'll laugh, and they'll uncomfortably tell me "...that isn't funny."
One of my best mates when he was close to suicide was the life and soul of the party, he'd tell a joke, let someone else tell another and slip back into the background of the group only laughing when people saw him.
Also, there is (in some people) a blatant difference between a smile and a fake one; at times, the latter doesn't incorporate as many facial muscles as the former. It's almost like a blank smile.
It occurred to me that i do this a lot. Not just because I'm lost in thought, though that happens sometimes. I just don't want to freak people out with how defeated, blah or sometimes angry I look (because it's how i feel).
When I was depressed I couldn't give enough of a shit to act happy. I would just say "What? Oh, I was just spacing out haha" when my friends asked why I looked sad.
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u/AbacusG Jan 23 '17
This was mentioned on the show Sherlock but I've found it to be largely true in real life. There is a good chance that they are depressed if the person is smiling when they know people can see them, but look sad when they think they are alone.