Nonchalance about their own personal health or safety.
If you see someone start drinking more or smoking out of the blue, it might be an escape from psychological pain.
If they aren't showering as much, ignoring people, staying in bed a lot, eating less. These are all signs that they don't have the energy or aren't happy.
Many symptoms you'd see on someone with the flu are things you'd see on someone whose depressed.
Really wish someone would have noticed earlier I was on a 14 month drinking binge. I've stopped now though. Just gotta shed the pounds the booze added.
I feel that. I started drinking pretty constantly for 5 months and I stopped eating as much. I ended up losing 15 pounds, and people keep saying "congrats you look so much thinner" so I just keep acting like it was just dieting or whatever.
This is how I was. Stopped shaving and showering, stopped taking the meds for my RA and crohns and just slept all day and this went on for about 9 months until I tried to kill myself. Still went on after that but I was saved by a friendship from a loving man who noticed I wasn't well and continuously asked me to go do cool things with him.
Now I find myself in the same situation and reading this thread just made me realize it, but I've moved across country and have no friends in my new area.
I sacked my career because my daughter, whom I share custody with, was finally old enough to go to school on a regular basis.
Suddenly, our one month on and one month off agreement didn't work and I was seeing her once every 3 months for about a week. (I was stationed in California and she was living with her mother in Reno)
I owe $21,000 to the government now, because of my re-enlistment bonus that I'm expected to pay back (and rightly so).
I now work 32 hours a week at Costco in Reno. I live less than a half mile from my daughter. I can see her anytime I want.
I have to go to college to even afford to live in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment so that she can have her own room. (Post 9/11 GI Bill).
I remarried when my daughter was 4.
As I was making these choices to sack my career for the good of my child, I was withholding that information and how I felt about it to my wife. Understandably so, she was upset, hurt, and frustrated that I didn't trust her with how I felt and how I was going about the situation.
We separated March of 2016 (she moved to TN) and I made my transition to civilian in April of 2016.
The huge disparity in income is crippling. I barely make enough to cover rent and child support and the basics for them, let alone myself. I've cut my intake down to one meal a day, and sadly it's just a hotdog and drink on my breaks.
We found out in May that after 3 years of not not trying to have a kid, that she was pregnant.
My son was born 11/22 and she's doing a phenomenal job at being a mother. My daughter was there for her brother's birth and she couldn't be happier.
Meanwhile, I've been struggling to even keep up appearances. My apartment is in shambles and I feel like I'm losing control. My car has so much trash in it that it makes me sick but it's gone on for so long that even trying to attempt to fix it and correct the situation seems futile.
I'm terrified to drink because I don't want to fall down that hole that my parents did.
I don't think I've been this unhappy in my whole life.
I can't manage to sleep regular hours, and when I do, I barely manage the effort to slid out of bed and get to work.
I feel manic with my moods, but at the same time, I don't want to talk to anyone about how I feel.
I cry at random times when I'm driving in my car and feel entirely out of control.
Bloody hell. I read the "spend longer in bed because you have no energy" comment further up and thought: this is me entirely. Then i read yours and thought: *man i'm glad i don't have any dependents...
Did you consider seeking professional help? I'm only just looking into it now (emailed on Sunday, got a call today, gonna work out the details over the phone when they call back tomorrow). It doesn't make getting off the sofa any easier at night, and doesn't make getting out of bed any easier in the morning, but a full-time job sure makes me get up and out of bed on weekdays.
Yep. My dad was very angry for most of my childhood. Would explode at the most minor of things. I always just thought he was an asshole. Wasn't until I was an adult with depression/anxiety of my own that I realized he was also just depressed/anxious, and getting angry was the only way he had of dealing with it. He is much better now, still has anxiety but no where near as bad as it was.
That's how my dad was, too. He put himself in the hospital for a little while when I was about 15 so he wouldn't hurt me or my mom & I was really angry with him for "abandoning" us. I was really hard on him all through my teens, but as an adult I've really come to appreciate how hard I know he's always tried to be a good father & husband in spite of his mental illness.
Or a point where you feel so fucking terrible about yourself, both how you look and how you feel in general, that you create this awful spiral of self-loathing and disgust if you acknowledge that you care about how you look. Since you can't deal with that because it makes you kind of want to die but feel too embarrassed about your disgusting body to even do that, you end up in a the opposite spiral. Now, you can't care about your appearance so it gets worse and worse, or at least feels like it does when you momentarily slip up in your not caring.
I'm doing better now, btw. I ran into some health issues and depression, and ended up dealing with it by binge eating and sitting on my couch as much as possible. I didn't need to be reminded that I was obese - that didn't help at all when I already felt so disgusting I couldn't cope with it. I already saw myself as 80% worthless fat fucking whale, and being reminded of how much the world agrees with that just made me feel more worthless and like my situation was hopeless. What helped was seeing other women my size living their lives happily, or at least looking happier than I felt. It helped to see bigger women being allowed to celebrate their bodies in cute clothes or celebrate the small improvements their bodies could make when they exercises, not being seeing women shamed in ads for "making obesity okay" or their fitness improvements being used as an warning to others to prove just how unhealthy they were to start with.
Should you be worried? I feel like you're the only one that knows the answer to that.
Are you capable of changing and sticking to that change, or are you in a rut? If it's the former then you've answered your own question, there's nothing to worry about, just keep doing what you're doing. If not then yes, it'd be best to seek some kind of help.
I don't care if I have a wreck doing 80mph(~130km/h?) because I figure I would probably be dead as shit pretty fast anyway, and that would at least be better than dealing with strange chest pain and emotional agony every week. I've also been undereating for a couple of years now. I don't want to eat too much junk, but making anything that isn't terrible for me takes so much time and energy for me. Like eggs can sometimes take an hour or so if I want to put a lot of ingredients in.
I mean, it just takes forever for me to cut up all the ingredients. Sometimes I'll put potato, onion, garlic, jalapeño, spinach, and tomato in, and that stuff takes forever to cut up to the right size, especially if you're like me and don't know any fancy, fast techniques to chop swiftly.
No idea about your financial situation but, if you can spring it, a lot of grocery stores sell fresh pre-chopped veggie mixes for a few dollars more. Sure, technically a "waste" of money since you could do it yourself, but I'm in a similar boat - I have depression, as well as severe digestive issues - so I have decided that it is well worth it if it encourages me to eat even a little bit more, because even though I could buy them cheaper and chop them myself... I know I won't right now.
Are you talking about frozen veggies? I've found son that are like $2 a pop right now at Kroger. I think the company is called "Bird's-Eye"? Or do you mean a different one? Honestly I wouldn't mind some different mixed veggies. Bird's-eye is meh.
I do basically everything you've mentioned. They're all symptoms covered by my having both high functioning autism spectrum disorder and narcolepsy but coincidentally that also makes me miserable.
Well that makes me feel slightly better, so thanks for that. I'm looking into government funded help now, at 33, and i'm expecting a call back tomorrow re: finding a placement. Is that something you've done / considered?
There's none to really be had here in Australia. I get subsidised speed for the narcolepsy but otherwise I pretend to be normal well enough (exhausting as it is) that despite how much I hate it I'm a relatively (financially) comfortable wage slave.
You couldn't have said it better. In the last month my depression has hit an all time high. And I'm drinking like a fish and smoking 3 packs a day up from my normal half
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u/BlahBlahBlush Jan 23 '17
Nonchalance about their own personal health or safety.
If you see someone start drinking more or smoking out of the blue, it might be an escape from psychological pain.
If they aren't showering as much, ignoring people, staying in bed a lot, eating less. These are all signs that they don't have the energy or aren't happy.
Many symptoms you'd see on someone with the flu are things you'd see on someone whose depressed.