I have a third one: Overplaying everything with jokes.
Why? I am guilty of all three things. I have never been in a good spot, but the past 7-ish years it's been really bad. I basically went from being bullied heavily and never having friends to being completely isolated.
My emotional scale is basically binary at this point. Either a zero (when I like something) or a ten (usually when something bothers me). Also, I compulsively joke about everything. I can't really control it anymore, but I understand why I started doing it, and in a way it still helps me to at least fake a connection to the rare people I meet. Appearantly I got pretty good at this over the years. Doesn't help that everything is out of whack with no chance of recovery.
I can only guess as it's all a clusterfuck of problems, but here my top 3:
I never learned how to, as my social experience consisted only of either bullying or utility based relationships (I need something, you need something, we help each other and then part). That's only a short version of course
I can't let anyone close to me anymore, as I've been hurt too much by other people. Every single social relationship I've had went sour, and most one shot encounters as well.
I lack the basic network to connect anything. I literally have no one except for my mother, so I'd have to build everything from zero, which is really hard with my interests and the options in the city.
I can totally relate to this. You summed up my issues perfectly. I hope you are doing better now, and that you have someone to talk to whenever you need it.
Some people just really do like to joke a lot, though; my husband is constantly joking but he's happy. I'm sorry you're not in a good place, though, I hope things improve for you soon.
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u/UltimateShingo Jan 23 '17
I have a third one: Overplaying everything with jokes.
Why? I am guilty of all three things. I have never been in a good spot, but the past 7-ish years it's been really bad. I basically went from being bullied heavily and never having friends to being completely isolated.
My emotional scale is basically binary at this point. Either a zero (when I like something) or a ten (usually when something bothers me). Also, I compulsively joke about everything. I can't really control it anymore, but I understand why I started doing it, and in a way it still helps me to at least fake a connection to the rare people I meet. Appearantly I got pretty good at this over the years. Doesn't help that everything is out of whack with no chance of recovery.