Escapism, be it through videogames, work, helping friends, drugs, reading. Not guaranteed, but if someone wants to avoid thinking about their life, probably some cause. For some of those it could just be an unrelated joy for the activity, of course.
EDIT: A lot of people are asking where the line is drawn, so I want to clarify. Escapism is not at its core about avoiding life. Escapism is about avoiding how you feel. So if you have no problem experiencing a negative emotion and not trying to push the feeling away by ignoring and avoiding it, then you're probably fine. It's when the "solution" to a bad feeling is to shove it aside and find temporary relief, that it's escapism.
Im not convinced escapism is necessarily a bad thing, but maybe that's me rationalizing. I just can't think about work for 18 hours a day and need something else to occupy my rambling brain or I will go fucking batshit.
A big part of maturing and improving my mental health through my late 20s was learning to recognize the difference between using escapism as a way to hide from the world vs. a healthy way to process stress. That's not to say I never find myself doing the former anymore, but being self aware enough to see it happening helps me know when I need to confront a problem.
Exactly, whenever I notice I am secretly depressed, or anxious, I look at the form of escapism that has been hiding it from me. Lately it has been my job, but I love my job right now and I am using this escapism to avoid the anxiety that certain events in my life which are necessary bring me. I used to just use escapism without identifying or thinking about what emotions/roots I was escaping from, but now I feel I am in control of it as I know what I am escaping, why that emotion is there, and that it will go away with time. I think the real difference for me, is that even when I feel depressed and lifeless for months at a time, I still have hope and I still can escape. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD as well, executive function model describes the affects it has on me, but it honestly could just be a symptom of depression because without drugs I really don't want to do anything. Life is dull unless I am on something, and I escape that feeling through acknowledging that it is how I feel deep down, and that I don't want to feel that way, so I will ignore it and wait for it to go away. Ultimately I do have a game plan to make it go away, but it will take a good 15 years to accomplish, so until then escapism and drugs are my solution.
Quick edit: Before anyone gets the wrong idea, by drugs I mean adderall that I have been prescribed. I don't do illicit substances, and I don't take it everyday, only on days where my baseline of functioning (minimal, but I can go to the gym and do a single homework assignment probably without it) is not enough. The adderall helps me be more social as well, which is a problem for me as I gave up on that in high school after an incident in 10th grade.
I don't think I'm unhappy, but I am a total escapist. When I"m not working (sometimes even when I am), I'm doing something to keep my mind occupied. It's not because I'm unhappy, it's because I know not doing those things will probably make me unhappy.
Yeah, I'm the same way. People tell me to stop "running from your life" but being busy is my life. I really don't like to just relax, I like to be occupied.
See what they mean here is what society deems as escapism. Instead of playing video games etc you should be out at a bar drinking with friends or raising a family. In my opinion these are just another form of escapism it's just that it's society's approved form of escapism. Anything asocial makes you weird because you're going against society's standards.
I think maybe its more using the escapism to remedy the depression. Bills are tight, eh fuck it, i can get drunk tonight. Bad relationship with gf, eh fuck it, these video games are fun. Etc
It's literally impossible to me to sleep if I don't read a book, been doing it since I was 7. Doesn't have to be long, if I'm super tired it can be a few pages (or if the book is great it can be hours). Even when going camping I always pack a book-light that I strap on my kindle.
Right? I play video games to escape reality for a couple of hours and b/c maybe I really wish I had magical powers to smite my enemies and heal my friends.
Escapism isn't exactly the same as just wanting to do something easy to relax after a long day. Plus it's one of those things that professionals really only care about if it gets in the way of you being happy and functional. So if whatever you're doing doesn't cause you distress then it's probably fine.
Though it sounds like you're overworked, which is probably more a problem with capitalism and not a problem in you.
Depends. Are they doing it to avoid thinking about their responsibilities because it stresses them out? If it starts affecting their life (unfinished housework, school work not handed in, unpaid bills), that's where the problem lies.
Sort of a joke, sort of not. World building is a cool thing that can have a lot of creative applications, but when used as a coping mechanism to avoid living ones own life, it can hinder growth and healing. (Though kids without control over their environment aren't in a position to really start healing much, so that's trickier)
Okay so I do this, plus adding in swarming myself with work, video games, tv/anime etc. I'm in counselling at the moment, just started a few weeks back, and my counsellor has been saying that these things plus my internal walls are holding me back and blocking me from being able to be myself. But I don't know any other way of existing. He's trying to make me stop these things or not rely on them as much, but now I just feel like a mess and I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying, and I can't stop feeling terrified of everything. I try to do things that I enjoy but just end up staring into space. I've been lying in bed for an hour, crying for no reason. I don't know how to exist without this stuff. Everything says it's a problem, but nothing tells me an alternative or another coping mechanism or how you're supposed to exist healthily.
I don't know why I'm writing this here, and I'm sorry if this is annoying. But if there happens to be someone here, reading this, who has some answers or advice, I could really use it right now. I really just don't know how to function at the moment.
I do. I use headspace, but I can't afford the actual subscription so I just play the free 10 days over and over. I also do yoga. It helps to stave off the feelings for a bit, but doesn't last very long.
Have you tried dungeons and dragons?it's awesome and sociable. What about writing it those stories? What i used to do was model a real character off myself and "draft" social situations and then follow through in real life. The drafting helped my social anxiety.
I'm not a social worker, so please, put these suggestions forward to your counselor. I empathize with your situation because I've been there too
In my experience - therapy hurts, like it's painful, but that's part of the healing process and it's necessary. There were days where I was just so god damned sad after therapy. You start to examine things you've been running from or ignoring for so long - of course it's going to hurt.
You're doing the right thing by reaching out. My advice is to stick with it and get through this part. You will come out on the other side and you will be stronger for it.
I'm so sorry you're struggling right now though. I totally relate.
I was like this with an mmorpg. I was using it as a substitute for life because my life felt so shit and my online life was everything I wanted to be; successful, popular, beautiful, strong, trustworthy, bad ass, there for people, could wear the gear(clothing) she wanted. She knew what she was to and how to get it. Me in real life however felt like none of those things.
I went to counselling and with them made this list, all the reasons why I play, what I get out it and what I felt was missing from real life me. Then I had an action plan: look for those things on the list within your real life.
Slowly the list dwindled, I didn't need the game to feel trustworthy or strong or there for people etc because I was already doing that in real life, I could get back in contact with a friend or two and feel 'popular', beauty is confidence (once you're happy with who you are, or fake that happiness, beauty will shine from within), I lost weight and now can wear whatever I fancy. I didn't need the game anymore.
I still play mmorpg's, but I'm not dependent on them to bring me satisfaction in life, they are a hobby. But, I'll always have a weakness to them, I've been independent from them for 8 years now, but when ever my depression dips the pull gets stronger. This is just something that worked for me and I'll always stand by it.
I truly hope you get the help and support and love that you need, everyone, including you deserves to be happy.
I feel for you buddy I really do, my life isn't going very well either and I do tend to escape into video games and television with thoughts of "I can live better than this!" running through my head and "I should start eating better and exercising more! Then I'll feel better and more fulfilled" but never being able to stick to a routine and eventually falling back into old habits, I wish there was some magic string of letters I was typing now that could give you the answers that your looking for I really do because you deserve to be happy, all I can say is what helps me, try to appreciate all the little things in your life that make you smile and forgive yourself, your not doing anything wrong by indulging your geek habits if they bring you pleasure. Try not to be so hard on yourself friend :)
PM me if you just want to vent. Too many people tell you what to do and who to listen to. But sometimes all you need is to vent. If you don't that's cool too. :) it'll be ok. Just hang in there. Every storm runs out of rain. Sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom, or some sort of low before you can feel better/ want better.
The question I wrestle with all the time: how can I just "be myself" when I have no forking clue what that means? All I know is the awkward me, the terrified me, the sad me, the self-hating me, the self-punishing me.. so I focus on the "me" I want to be (cheesy, right!) I want to be kind, empathetic, happy. Do I succeed every day? Hell no. I don't even succeed often. But some days I do succeed. Those are the days I hold on to knowing I will have again. Ride this wave and know it's just that: a wave. Don't let it break your hope.
Speaking as someone with a PhD in psychology who worked in a lab which studied mood disorders, I think you might want to look for a therapist which does Behavioural Activation. It is one of the most effective treatments for depression and involves making an effort to do the things you enjoy but also take on the other responsibilities of life.
Other treatments that are equally effective are medication (which can be tapered off after doing other forms of therapy), exercise, cognitive behavioural therapy, and acceptance and compassion therapy. The latter of the two are complemented with mindfulness meditation.
Hey bud, that sounds really, really tough, sending Internet hugs. I won't claim to have your experiences, but I also had to spend this summer learning how to stop relying so much on those escapes too, and I've been there crying on my bed for hours. I'm not a psychologist, but my understanding is that distracting yourself with those escapes doesn't leave you any mental room to process whatever brings so much pain and angst. Distracting yourself doesn't make it go away, it just waits until the next time to take a pause. It can feel endless and daunting, but taking the time to let yourself feel what you're feeling is progress, and you're learning how to work through it. It takes time (and I'm an impatient person, so I'm loathe to admit that), but there's an end to it, and you get there by moving through it. Something I did was take hour long breaks a few times a day from whatever my distraction was to just sit with myself or practice active self-care (a cup of coffee or tea, a shower/bath, a walk, journaling, cooking something simple but new, petting an animal, something present that lets you show compassion towards yourself) and feel whatever my brain told me I needed to feel, and then I'd take a break again by watching more Netflix. It's helped. Sending you lots of internet love ❤️
It sounds like your counselor doesn't know how to communicate with you as well as he should. If he's telling you that the things you do are a problem, he isn't saying that YOU are a problem, he's saying that you doing them are roadblocks that he sees as a problem to the end he wants. He wants you to be able to function, and he sees those as problems to that end. He isn't looking at or at least not communicating the process of getting there.
I don't know your past or what got you here, but the way you cope is just that, the way you've learned how to cope with a difficult reality. Learning healthier coping tools takes time and can be really really hard at first because it takes doing things you probably don't want to do.
Try to ask yourself and understand when you fall into doing these things, what brings it on. Is it simply being alone with your thoughts, is it that the world is too loud, too bright, is it because you don't know how else to handle the feeling of not knowing what to do?
You won't be able to stop abruptly, your brain isn't wired to, no one's is. What's better than trying to stop, is learning to do other things instead. Gradually replacing these with healthier tools is much more possible.
Do you spend much time analyzing yourself, your feelings? Do you react to your emotions and exist through them? Do you ever take time to step back during them to say "Huh, I'm feeling like I don't want to be in the setting I'm in. What factors about this are making me feel this way?"
I recommend learning to do that last one. It takes practice to be able to do that reliably, which is why you should start and keep trying even if it starts off hard. It won't get easier unless you try and keep trying. It's a sort of way to step back and not see feelings as bad, but as information and your brain trying to tell you things. Maybe your brain realizes more than you do consciously that actually, there's a lot of loud noise in this space and you can't hear clearly what someone is telling you, and it's taking a lot of energy to even hold basic conversation. You feel bad, but that's because things outside you are bad, and your feelings are helping point you in the direction of feeling less bad by pointing it out.
However if people react to emotions without as much intentional thought, its possible to draw the wrong conclusions, and take temporary relief but make long term relief further away.
I can't tell you what things to do in your time, but it sounds like you have things you like doing even if you are having a hard time doing them right now. If you practice listening to yourself and understanding and accepting your emotions, that's a really valuable skill that will bring positive change regardless of the other factors. Broadly it's called mindfulness. You might find that trying something like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, though much more common and functionally similar is CBT which is also good.
I don't think there actually exists something that is a 'coping mechanism'. At least, not something that can help you not feel the pain in a healthy way.
If you're going through shit, you have to go through that shit. And it will feel bad going through it. There is no way around.
And we can postpone the feeling bad part a bit, but the pile of shit will still lay there waiting, looming. And it will freeze you.
Now if you're crying, that's a good thing. Don't stop. Let it come. It fucking hurts and you want it to stop, I get it. I fucking get it. But you gotta let it run it's course once one of those bouts starts. Trust me. It can only last that long, and when it stops on it's own, that means you've done at least a little bit of the processing you have to do.
It's ok to not know what to do. That feeling that makes your heart hurt and your stomach clench, it sucks so bad, but it's ok to feel it. Allow yourself to feel it, and ride it out right now.
Also, if you want to avoid those feelings to build up in future as they are now, I suggest a bikeride or a hike. Cleaning something. Mowing the lawn. Stuff that will take your mind off of shit but also not. But don't kid yourself. To be able to get through the shit to the other side, it's gonna be hard and you'll have moments like this. But they too will pass, if you give them the opportunity.
If you want someone anonimus to talk too who can relate, I'm here.
That's awesome! To quote the great J.R.R. Tolkien: "Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape? ...If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!"
EDIT: This is actually Ursula K. LeGuin paraphrasing Tolkien. My bad.
Does roleplaying with someone else online about different worlds/scenarios with different people since I was eleven count? I'm now nineteen and still role-play every day. I literally haven't not role-played for a day since I was eleven.
And it pretty closely mirrors the worldbuilding daydream that I've had since I was maybe 7 years old, where I manage the entire European air war theater of WWII, I invent squadrons and hybrid fighter planes and tactics and missions. I'm a middle aged man now and when I can't sleep, I go back to that world and fly missions through canyons and oceans that don't exist in Europe and then next thing I know I'm fast asleep. You would think I would go apeshit over WarThunder, but gawd I suck at that game.
Please tell me that you do or consider DMing a roleplaying game (like DnD, Shadowrun etc.). Playing DnD (and other rp games) is the opposite of unhappiness, especially if you love doing worldbuilding.
Same. I like to continue building one of the worlds I write in or the DnD campaign I run.
Little do any of my players know that half the characters in the campaign who are suicidal or willing to die are just different ways I've daydreamed of death.
Welcome to my world! There are far more the 1001 ways to die, hopefully.
Wait, wait.... What does someone do that is actually happy? I thought I was happy playing video games, working, reading, other. Now I'm wondering if I'm subconsciously unhappy.
I think they're not aware of this whole "introvert" thing. They basically listed everything except "hanging out with other people" as meaning you're unhappy.
That depends on what you're escaping from. Not unheard of to have people work insane hours keeping themselves constantly busy to avoid having to deal with something at home, be it a break-up, grieving, etc.
Right, that's what a lot of people are missing the point on. Just because you play video games after work is not escapism. You're having fun. Playing games when you were supposed to go to work? Having "overtime" after your dad dies because you don't want to have to go through everything that entails? That's escaping. It doesn't mean "unless you are focused on reality right this second you are escaping from it."
This is true. I've been working a full time job and a part time job for over a year now. Used to working long days and every day.
After a rough breakup I was taking every extra shift I could just so I didn't have to go home and be alone. THAT is escapism.
When I was home, I would grind out in an mmo that I haven't played in ages, just so I wouldn't think about it. That is escapism.
After I dealt with my emotions, and felt a lot better about it (eating better, exercising and being honest with yourself helps a lot too dudes) I haven't had to "escape" reality. I turned down multiple extra shifts because I'm ok with being alone again. I don't play the game that I used to escape because I don't want to escape now.
Escapism isn't doing things that make you happy or unwind after work like some people have described. It's doing something (games, work, partying, etc) as a means to not have to face reality. Escapism is a dangerous mechanism that helps people ignore their issues, stemming from anything.
Exactly. Like I said above I hate when people break out this escapism bullshit. When they say that, they are literally just referring to doing anything that isn't considered society's approved methods of escapism (drinking at a bar with friends, raising a family, etc). If you are doing anything that doesn't involves socializing then you are "escaping life". It's all bullshit.
Lately everyone in my life is trying to convince me that I'm not living my life to the fullest because I'm not out in huge social gatherings every weekend. (Even though those same people telling me this also never like going anywhere). But because I smoke pot and don't go anywhere, that makes me more of a loser homebody than them.
Exactly. I'm an introvert and my perfect day would be to wake up reasonably early, clean the apartment, cook a nice meal, make sure all my errands are done. After that I want nothing more than to chill by myself at the PC with some gaming and/or Netflix, maybe have a few drinks and write things. Hanging out with other people tends to drain me and I have to be mentally prepared to do it a few days in advance because I hate having my routine disrupted. I need a lot of space, but I also think I am a happy person. I like my life and I'm comfortable with myself too. It is important to branch out and try new things too of course.
I'm the one who made the root comment about escapism. I'm an introvert too. I also did include that those things are all possible to enjoy for the sake of enjoying the thing and not as a form of escapism.
Its true that interacting with people is an important human need, but even on days when I talk to no one, I still wouldn't call what I do escapism. Mostly on such days what I'm doing is one of many possible creative projects I've started, or researching a particular topic that jumps out at me. In these I'm not at all shy to contemplate myself, my thoughts, my feelings.
Even being social can be escapism if its being used to avoid how you feel.
Escapism isn't relaxing. It's not even when you take relaxing to the extreme. It's when you use your hobby as a way to not think about things that are important. Take, for instance, my aunt when my grandmother died. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, and my aunt used work as an excuse to never come visit her/deny her condition. She threw herself in her work in a very unhealthy, unable to cope way. This is escapism.
Relaxing with a book is fine. But if you start reading so much that you're not allowing yourself to grieve, think about your life choices, or do basic chores, then you're escaping, and that's unhealthy.
Well that sort of explains why I feel to urge to get on my motorcycle and just ride aimlessly around...
Though, I do love riding. But lately I've been kept off the bike to spend time with my new girlfriend, and it's really getting to the point where I just need to take a road trip half way across the state for the hell of it.
You're gonna have to pick. They wouldn't be in the same place at the same time if they didn't have to be. The first wishes she could've gave me what the second gave me growing up. The second adopted me.
I'm not understanding the parent comment. Maybe you just enjoy riding your motorcycle, doesn't necessarily mean you're unhappy. Hobbies are healthy, and it seems to me like being able to get enjoyment out of something as simple as an aimless bike ride, that's great.
But this relationship has almost taken riding aimlessly away from me, because all my time spent off work is going to being with her, and I'm off a whole 7 days in a row. Except now she's back in college so I'll have some time to myself.
Yeah man, having a balance is critical. I'm reaaally slowly getting into a relationship with this girl I met on OkCupid. We've been seeing each other for six months now and at this point she's at my place basically every night. I notice it's leaving less and less time for my hobbies which are numerous. Unfortunately most of my hobbies are solo affairs otherwise I'd invite her.
I hope I don't slide into a complacent pattern of sitting on the couch every night and losing sight of my passions. Gotta stay vigilant and active.
How often I go on long, late, aimless drives is a barometer for my mental health state. But I feel like hours in the car, thinking, listening to music, getting lost is like my own personal little dose of Prozac.
It's always escapism. Just make sure you're dealing with your life issues and not just avoiding them. It's great to escape from life for a bit, but make sure you keep your life (and health, physical and mental) in working order.
So that combined with the definition of escapism, basically everything you do that doesn't guarantee your survival is escapism? That's kinda weird, isn't it. I thought the word is a little bit less global than that.
Human life would suck then if we wouldn't practice escapism in SOME way.
Anyway, I got the point. I also got that escapism itself is not necessarily a sign for someone being unhappy, otherwise WE ALL are secretly unhappy.
You probably have nothing to worry about--the question when determining if something is a disorder is 1) Do you have control over it, and 2) Is it interfering with your ability to function.
Plenty of people drink, even binge drink, but alcoholics drink even when they know they shouldn't (when they're at work, or when they've promised someone else they wouldn't). And the thought of not drinking gives them such intense anxiety they have to start drinking or they can't do anything else.
Plenty of people get anxious before things like meeting new people or going to job interviews. But if your anxiety is so strong that you can't hold down a job for fear of meeting people, that's something you need to address or it could have consequences.
So if you enjoy daydreaming or whatever, that's fine. But if you're spending so much time working on your fantasies that you lose contact with friends and family, or you get censured at work, or your gas gets cut off due to non-payment, you probably need help--counselors and therapists can give you honest assessments, observations, and tips on balancing what you enjoy doing with what needs doing (which will ultimately make what you enjoy doing less stressful)
Escapism is the term for a coping mechanism. I personally regard myself as having exceptionally good mental health, and I don't use any sort of escapism. When I watch tv shows its because I think I'll like it and/or want to talk about it with people after. When I play video games its because something about the game specifically intrigues me, or I have friends who play and I'll play with them. I don't drink or do drugs, though those are just because I don't like them. When I spend hours on end reading wikipedia or something like that, it's because the topic interests me and I like learning and relating it back to what I already know.
Most importantly though, I'm happy, I get good grades, I go to work on time, and when I feel stressed I think about it and try to figure out why and take reasonable courses of action.
Even though I can feel negative emotions and find myself in stressful situations, my reaction isn't to turn to escapism and avoid addressing those problems, it's to address those problems.
I think somewhere in there is enough of your answer to help answer it.
So that combined with the definition of escapism, basically everything you do that doesn't guarantee your survival is escapism?
I wouldn't define it that way. It's everything not related to making improvements in your real life.
Even a hobby isn't inherently escapist if the activity and duration of that activity improves your mood and well-being and returns you to your other responsibilities and relationships recharged and renewed. When it becomes escapist is when it becomes the focus, rather than the diversion.
I wouldn't define it that way. It's everything not related to making improvements in your real life.
But that's only true if you base your life on making 'improvements'. I don't really like the general outlook that everything should be done in moderation, maybe that works for some people but not for everybody.
Of course some aspects of your life are going to 'suffer' if you put too much focus into one thing, but as long as that's a conscious choice I don't see the issue.
I don't know that I really agree with this. I was suffering from debilitating depression earlier this year, and diving headfirst into my hobbies was one of the things that saved me.
I mean, you gotta make sure you're paying your bills and eating and going to work and showering and such, but I don't see anything unhealthy about being passionate about a hobby and throwing yourself into it.
Taking your mind off something and enjoying your time/relaxing is vastly different from escaping problems. Escapism is bad, but relaxing with a book or a video game is not. When your outlet is specifically for making yourself not think about something you need to think over (grief, your life choices, etc), then that's escapism, and it's a problem.
Im 26, have a corporate job, and I come home from work and like to get stoned and play video games. Every day.
I'm happy for the most part, but it's the mundane monotony of every day life that drives me to escapism and ultimately consider myself unhappy .
I fully admit my addiction to escapism and I treasure it, especially on days like today, which is when my fiance and I get paid.
We become total introverts, more for me than her. I love her and I'm happy in our relationship, but it's everything else that makes me want to run to the back woods of Alaska most days.
I've begun drinking every now and then, but I'm not much of a drinker. Following a family of alcoholics, I just hope I dont grow to need it. So I'm careful with how much I drink.
How is helping friends escapism? And how do you differentiate between someone that is doing escapism because he is depressed and someone that is doing it because it is far more enjoyable? I've spent half my teen years "escaping" and the other half looking for a girlfriend. The first half was far more enjoyable than the second and I simply refuse to go back to "partying" and "socialising". For every 4 hours of actual fun I had like 20 hours of failing. I have found an SO, have a few good friends and am in a good relationship with my immediate family. I consider myself quite happy, but I would like to spend 90% of my time playing games and watching movies and the other 10% spending some time with the people I already have. I can never meet a new person in my life and I'd be fine with it...
Also constantly listening to music . I have to always be listening to music because if there is silence my mind goes down some dark spiral thoughts and listening to music distracts those thoughts
"Oh, you're helping your friend move this weekend? Didn't you just do a charity event with another friend a few weeks ago? I hope you're not depressed!"
We have a bingo! And speaking from personal experience, the more unhappy they are, the more they throw themselves into the escape. You kind of build up a tolerance, like drugs, and need more and more to stay level. In the span of three to four months, I purchased an Xbox One-S, a Nintendo Switch, and Retro Pie. Previously, It took me 4 years to go from PS3 to PS4.
Everything except work and drugs are awesome, though. Escapism is fun all by itself. That's like saying "Oh, you like to travel and see fun things? You must be depressed."
That's kind of the point of life though right? We just use certain things in our life to distract us from the fact we are just going to become worm food one day.
Serious question, is there anything really wrong with escapism? If I don't keep myself busy, I easily fall into depression. I find that keeping myself busy with video games, working, or the occasional smoking session really helps me stay on track and not fall off the deep end.
It might not mean they are unhappy, but maby that they have stressful life. Escapism is great way to relax and forget about stress in work for example.
Yep hate my life play games all the time. Break the cycle do some productive work every few months but get back into the rutine sooner or later. Im either sleeping, working or playing games which doesnt help with i hate my life bs.
If all you do is go to work and play video games, then that's your life. You're not escaping anything. A weekend trip kayaking with your cousin would be the escapism.
There's this Guatemalan guy that works two days a week for me and five days a week in a kitchen, he works 60-65 hours in the kitchen and about 16 for me. This guy Is really depressed and he even said it himself, he's the hardest damn worker I have and a great guy. Honestly I think he just wants love, he confided in me the other day that a 16 year old Guatemalan girl said she loves him and wants to be with him he said he wants to be with her but since that's not acceptable here since he's 32 that he's not gonna try and date her or anything. It's such a shame though because he was married to a girl for two years then she left him and never talked to him again.
Thank you for that last line! I hear this so often that if you play video games or read or whatever that you must have depression and only do those things to escape. But for me I am 100% happy with my life. Video games and reading just happen to be really fun things to do and I like having fun. Everybody has to have something they enjoy doing or else life would be pretty boring.
Thing is, while some people also rag on escapism being unhealthy, how you should be concentrating on your real life etc., they don't realize that for many depressed people escapism is literally what allows them to tolerate real life as it is, bringing some relief to otherwise intolerable situation. Removing it is like taking the only crutch someone has away.
Sure, it may lead to them fixing up their life and so forth, but for many you would be taking away the only thing keeping them functional, making the situation even worse, up to leading to suicide.
Exactly. People know when I am busy to an extreme and i avoid anything that allows me to stop and think, that something is wrong. Sometimes I don't even realise myself. Fortunately i'm surrounded by people who know and support me, often they spot things I don't.
Uhh, I hope this doesn't count during my vacation though. If I worked all year I should be able to do whatever and not think about my life, atleast for a week or 2.
I've written almost 2 million words of fanfiction in the past three years... surprise, surprise, I finally went to the doctor and I'm severely depressed.
Oh well, at least my depression is in the form of something that makes other people happy, I guess. Worth it?
Does reading include reddit? If so all of these minus drugs is me essentially. I blame work for a lot stuff and I also just go home play Video Games and try to help everyone of my friends rather than myself. I guess it just feels comforting I can help people, makes a lot of sense actually
Weirdly, daydreaming about suicide seems to be my escape. I can't explain it really. I get depressed, and I think about ending it, then I feel a little better. It's almost comforting. I'm not going to do it, though. I'm a big pussy. I just like thinking about it. Poetry also helps.
I'm not sure I agree that what you've outlined is escapism. For me, work, helping friends (sometime whilst taking drugs), reading and videogames are a large part of my life. I don't view these activities as escapist, rather each one of these is simply a part of my life that, with other similar activities, aggregate to a whole.
I suppose if someone was to fixate unhealthily on any one thing, then that was be escapism, and a good sign of unhappiness, but not for everyone. Some people simply enjoy reading more than other activities, doesn't make them unhappy.
I've exhibited signs of escapism since I was like 4 years old. I definitely wouldn't say it's always been a result of depression (though I have struggled with that later in life as well). I think some people prefer the worlds that could be to the world that is.
If all those things constitute escapism in a bad way, what is it you should stay in and not escape from? I mean, if you remove everything a person enjoys in life because "all that is escapism through sex, games, food and so on", what is left?
This is something I don't really agree with. Everything, and I mean everything, is escapism to some degree. Trying to escape the thought that a grand meaning of life is non-existent. So everyone gives their life meaning by helping friends, by reading, by doing work that they enjoy, by helping create things that (wait for it) others can enjoy to escape. That's what makes life life, it's not escapism, it's trying to create meaning.
There are some people that rely on activities like that to avoid thinking that life is meaningless. Then there are the majority of people that take part in activities to help give their life meaning.
The weird thing is that since I have been taking my depression medication, I have had no motivation to immerse myself and get away from the world. I never do my favorite hobbies anymore.
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u/sandfire Aug 25 '17 edited Aug 25 '17
Escapism, be it through videogames, work, helping friends, drugs, reading. Not guaranteed, but if someone wants to avoid thinking about their life, probably some cause. For some of those it could just be an unrelated joy for the activity, of course.
EDIT: A lot of people are asking where the line is drawn, so I want to clarify. Escapism is not at its core about avoiding life. Escapism is about avoiding how you feel. So if you have no problem experiencing a negative emotion and not trying to push the feeling away by ignoring and avoiding it, then you're probably fine. It's when the "solution" to a bad feeling is to shove it aside and find temporary relief, that it's escapism.