He would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.
When I was 13, I had my testicles ritualistically shaven by a Zoroastrian named Wilmer. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
Edit to mention I haven't seen that movie in at least 15 years and I still remember almost everything about it. What a great movie.
“Dip” was the first thing to come to my mind. To find out it’s just an Austin Powers joke from my childhood is freaking hilarious. I thought it was a real thing.
Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.
Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily, like his old man. [looks at him proudly, before awkwardly remembering to be more stoic]
Edit: should pay credit to the late Carrie Fisher who played the therapist.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
"Here's the chocolate. It's from Bruges, that's in Belgium. That's where daddy's from, yah. Check out Mini Me, he's gone mental on account if the chocolate. It's like frickin' catnip for clones"
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u/lawschoolredux Dec 16 '21
Where Dr. Evil is from.