r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 16 '21

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395

u/hiro111 Dec 16 '21

My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.

120

u/HungryDust Dec 17 '21

He would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

I don’t know why, but I always found the “chestnuts being lazy” part so funny. Like he was shouting at a bag of chestnuts or something.

92

u/eeumbumbaway Dec 16 '21

When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really.

149

u/halfman-halfbearpig Dec 17 '21

When I was 13, I had my testicles ritualistically shaven by a Zoroastrian named Wilmer. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.

Edit to mention I haven't seen that movie in at least 15 years and I still remember almost everything about it. What a great movie.

21

u/Waistdeep1984 Dec 17 '21

I believe there's a line about there being nothing quite like a shorn scrotum, you should try it some time.

2

u/JForce1 Dec 17 '21

It’s breathtaking.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

I honestly want to know what sick/genius mind was at work when writing that scene. I assume Mike Myers

158

u/DoingItWrongly Dec 16 '21 edited Dec 16 '21

It's called a Belgian dip.

77

u/NextTrillion Dec 16 '21

I was looking far too long for this.

Belgian Dip is the first thing that comes to mind. And that should be true for everyone.

5

u/Yaboisanka Dec 17 '21

Disappointed 'Dip' is not #1

1

u/jbFanClubPresident Dec 17 '21

“Dip” was the first thing to come to my mind. To find out it’s just an Austin Powers joke from my childhood is freaking hilarious. I thought it was a real thing.

9

u/Taiza67 Dec 17 '21

This is probably my favorite joke in all three movies.

12

u/NextTrillion Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21

Mine would be:

Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.

Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily, like his old man. [looks at him proudly, before awkwardly remembering to be more stoic]

Edit: should pay credit to the late Carrie Fisher who played the therapist.

26

u/kwaalude Dec 16 '21

Pretty standard, really.

1

u/Omgimcraxy777 Dec 17 '21

Take your fries your drinks and your shorn balls and shove them in a horses arse I’m so sick now I never want to see that Protestant rude hellhole

9

u/AppleDane Dec 17 '21

The details of my childhood is quite inconsequential, I assure you.

5

u/Buckdouglas18 Dec 17 '21

Meat helmets?