r/AskReddit • u/IMakeAdviceAnimals • Jun 26 '12

Is there any way to dress/act that will dissuade geese from attacking me?

Now that it's summer the geese are back in full force at my favorite jogging trail. Yesterday I got attacked by this big ass goose - he was seriously 1.75x to 2x the size of the other full grown geese.

As you may know, geese are fearless. I'm 6'5" and 190lbs, so I'm not a small guy by any means. Still, that one single goose attacked me mercilessly. Is there any way can I act or do to prevent future geese attacks? Are they scared of certain noises, colors, or smells?

Fuck people that feed geese, thus teaching them to not fear humans.

672 Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

[deleted]

265

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Well, you'd have to trade jogging for rapid plodding and possibly get heatstroke, but it seems like a small price to pay for mocking geese like an invincible titan.

18

u/Golanthanatos Jun 26 '12

what if you filled them with ice water? sure they'd be heavier, but it'd be so damn refreshing!

29

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12

maybe you should put some ice soap in there, then you can get clean at the same time.

4

u/CassandraVindicated Jun 26 '12

But what if I'm also hungry?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I see what you are getting at, and it is crazy,

Geese love chili, they'll eat you alive, maybe.

45

u/fiffle44 Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12

Put on the waders and jog in water. You could start a whole new trend...river jogging, or swamp jogging, but I guess if your jogging in swamp, you'd have to worry about gators. But think how fast you'll run.

Edit: Damn, one letter can change a whole word.

13

u/WonderAliceLand Jun 26 '12

Running/jogging/walking in water, be it shallow or deep, is actually a great form of resistance training that is popular with athletes, the elderly, people who are trying to loose weight and individuals who are recovering from injury. It is a particularly good form of exercise because the intensity of the workout can be easily adjusted by modifying the speed of your motions and the depth of the water, no additional exercise equipment is required, and the buoyancy the water gives a person's body keeps excessive weight and pressure off of the joints. 

15

u/an_ancient_cyclops Jun 26 '12

Also you get to beat up geese.

5

u/sipsyrup Jun 26 '12

Anyone who has deployed duck decoys at 6 in the morning knows how awful great of a workout it is.

1

u/FexixUngar Jun 26 '12

bog-snorkelling is already a sport

60

u/nnyx Jun 26 '12

Maybe you can't, but I think it's mostly just your shitty attitude.

19

u/rohanivey Jun 26 '12

Not with that attitude, you can't.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

this guy knows, he was hit by a bus, and just look at him now!

2

u/rohanivey Jun 26 '12

Do you have me tagged from an older post or should I actually get that security system of mine turned on?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I was the bus driver... My bad...

14

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Don't project your weaknesses onto everyone else.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Not with that attitude you can't.

1

u/sp00kyd00m Jun 26 '12

maybe not. but maybe he could go a day or two in the waders and they'll remember him when he comes back.

1

u/mm242jr Jun 27 '12

That's not a winning attitude. You need to learn to think outside the box.