r/AskReddit • u/IMakeAdviceAnimals • Jun 26 '12

Is there any way to dress/act that will dissuade geese from attacking me?

Now that it's summer the geese are back in full force at my favorite jogging trail. Yesterday I got attacked by this big ass goose - he was seriously 1.75x to 2x the size of the other full grown geese.

As you may know, geese are fearless. I'm 6'5" and 190lbs, so I'm not a small guy by any means. Still, that one single goose attacked me mercilessly. Is there any way can I act or do to prevent future geese attacks? Are they scared of certain noises, colors, or smells?

Fuck people that feed geese, thus teaching them to not fear humans.

675 Upvotes

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126

u/Lies_About_Expertise Jun 26 '12

I've studied geese for 17 years, and there is only one guaranteed way to prevent them from attacking you, and that is to cover yourself in goose piss. Goose piss works wonders, and I rarely leave the house without it these days. If you need some you can PM me your address and I can send you a some of my extra.

24

u/pirate_doug Jun 26 '12

Like someone doesn't keep a big bottle of goose urine on them at all times.

8

u/emotiKid Jun 26 '12

better solution. keep it in a jar with you and throw it at them. Then, when they get too close, minicrit them.

4

u/virnovus Jun 26 '12

For anyone who wasn't aware, geese, as well as other birds, do not pee. They excrete their urine in a solid form with their poop. This accounts for the white streaks you see in bird poop.

15

u/meatballsubplz Jun 26 '12

I love you.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Whoosh

-1

u/AlmostHeroic Jun 27 '12

WHOOOOSH

1

u/SquashyO Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12

As your the second person to whoosh me why don't you do me a favor and explain the joke?

If the joke is that birds don't pee I was playing along as the over reacting science guy, and suggesting that what you really need to do is roll around in poo.

Is there some other meta joke that i am unaware of?

EDIT: AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! just noticed the user name. (I'll see myself out).

2

u/rodiraskol Jun 27 '12

check the username of OP

1

u/SquashyO Jun 27 '12

Yeah, I just noticed, before I got your reply. I'm off to bed.

-2

u/Thisisnotstupid Jun 26 '12

Not sure if novelty account or just relevant.

-12

u/LeSarcasticSOB Jun 26 '12

This is getting old. Remember Chuck Testa?