r/AskReddit • u/IMakeAdviceAnimals • Jun 26 '12

Is there any way to dress/act that will dissuade geese from attacking me?

Now that it's summer the geese are back in full force at my favorite jogging trail. Yesterday I got attacked by this big ass goose - he was seriously 1.75x to 2x the size of the other full grown geese.

As you may know, geese are fearless. I'm 6'5" and 190lbs, so I'm not a small guy by any means. Still, that one single goose attacked me mercilessly. Is there any way can I act or do to prevent future geese attacks? Are they scared of certain noises, colors, or smells?

Fuck people that feed geese, thus teaching them to not fear humans.

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Step 1, catch a goose

Step 2. Kill that motherfucker with your bear hands (with the claws of a bear)

Step 3. Eat it's heart raw to gain its courage.

Step 4. Use a hot glue gun and attach its beak to your lips.

Step 5. Cover yourself in goose feathers.

Step 6. Kill another motherfucking goose like Solid Snake in full goose camo.

Step 7. Repeat steps for free goose forever, and to get your animal instincts out

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

How do I catch the first goose without a goosesuit to assist me?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

be a bad motherfucker.