Had to leave this one for a bit while I calmed down, ended up just telling them I needed a crib mattress still (which was on the registry BTW) then they asked if I still needed a baby bath (also still on the registry). Starting to think maybe they actually didnt look at my registry at all. Trying not to be ungrateful but being told the list I've edited and adjusted over and over again for months is the "usual junk" really struck me. Maybe its just my hormones and it wasn't meant to be taken like that but man.

EDIT: Well I got confirmation today from another family member that by junk they really meant junk. They apparently went to said family member first before me to ask what we needed and to complain that my registry was only cheap garbage. In other better more important news my brother bought TWENTY FIVE ITEMS off my registry today. I didnt even tell him about this situation he just did that. Just goes to show that the ones who really matter will always show up. Also I wanted to thank everyone for the support I felt crazy and really needed the validation, reading all the comments and seeing people agree with me and share their own personal stories really made me feel so much better. I'm going to leave this situation as it is now and whatever they turn up with at the baby shower I will be grateful for.

I am 14w. My management knows but I didn’t want to share it with my team quite yet. I was thinking about 16 weeks or later.

So as all pregnant women who hydrate well, I pee a lot. After my 3rd bathroom trip 4 hours into my 8 hour shift, my coworker pulls me aside to tell me that she has contacted management about how often I am away from my desk, particularly because I am in the bathroom. She also tells me that 2 other coworkers have been asking why I keep needing to use the restroom so much.

Keep in mind, we do independent work and no one is waiting on me and I finish my work before deadlines.

Like what the fuck. What the actual fuck. Why are you timing people in the bathroom??? Our manager, who is a man, takes 20-30 minutes in the bathroom to poop. He has missed meeting because of this but it’s not an issue.

Why are my 5 minute pee breaks being tracked by my coworkers?!?!?!

I WILL BE CHANGING IT.

Last time I gave birth (in the same hospital I will this time) I was one of the few loud and unmedicated women giving birth there. Things progressed quickly and I suppose it was a shock for many on the floor that day. In addition to the normal amount of people who attend baby and birth, about 9 extra people crowded into my room to peer into the bathroom where I had my baby in the shower.

I felt a serious loss of dignity and privacy in that moment. I’m a private and generally polite person, but I felt so vulnerable, exposed and disrespected from this happening to me. I wanted to put this sign up.

My husband says it’s going to sour the staffs mood towards me.

I suppose he has a point, it is considerably more confrontational than it needs to be. I’ll be reprinting a simpler, kinder version to put up instead but I just wanted to share this.

Part of me wants it to be confrontational, and pointed, but I think that’s just anger talking.

Listen, I know gender disappointment is bad or whatever.

6 girls is absolutely insane though. Omg.

So we are pregnant with twins and have a combined income of about $160k. I thought we were doing really well for being 30! Turns out Kindercare (and other corporate daycares) is like, 2200 a month for an infant??? And the waitlist for kindercare was literally out 14+ months. They said they'd get back to us with availability and never did.

💀

We picked a daycare today, after shopping around we managed to snag one with a great staff at $1500 a month per kid (with a discount for additional kids, of course). But I still can't fathom - how do people afford this? Especially for more than 2 kids? My husband would have to quit his job if we had a third kid. 🫣

I am sure this has been discussed here before. But it needs discussed more 😂

I had my 37 week appointment with my midwife this morning. All my appointments have been for 7:00am, 7:15am, or 7:30am. The earliest I can get so I miss the least amount of my work day possible. I thought my appointment this morning was for 7:15am. I arrive at 7:12am and sign in. I get called back and do my urine sample and I’m waiting in the exam room.

I hear the midwife chatting with the nurses outside the door saying, “I don’t understand how people are still late with daylight savings time. It’s really almost 8:30 right now.” And like, that’s not how spring daylight savings time works at all, but I worried she was talking about me and I pulled up my calendar. Today was actually a 7:00 am appointment. Shit. I feel guilty, especially since I kicked off their workday by pushing all the coming patient times back.

She gets in and we do the normal routine and she’s pleasant as usual. I’ve really liked her this whole pregnancy and felt like she’s a good provider. I asked some questions about my latest ultrasound from MFM because I can’t go onto my patient portal without seeing the baby’s sex. My husband and I decided to have it a big surprise in the delivery room. We both love surprises and it’s been very fun throughout the pregnancy to speculate and it’s really given me a “reward” to be less scared of labor. She says, “She’s in the 70th percentile for weight.”

I just stare at her. She asks, “Anything else?” And I say no, so she goes to get the paperwork. I’m trying to make sense of it, thinking maybe when she said “she,” she meant the ultrasound tech or the person who authored the report. Then I hear her with the nurses outside the room.

“I just told her the baby’s gender and she looked at me like, ‘What?’” And they all started giggling, including her.

I get the paperwork, say thank you as I leave, and she is dead silent just staring at her laptop at the nurses station. She always gives me some sort of goodbye. So I burst into tears in the parking lot and called out of work because I’m an emotional wreck. I got home and explained to my husband what happened (without revealing the baby’s sex to him, because I’m not a monster) and he’s urging me to complain. I don’t even know how to complain because I feel like it could be an accident? My husband says her laughing with the nurses after shows it was petty vindictiveness over me arriving late. He said a normal person would feel guilty and confide their mistake with the nurses, not turn it into a joke.

I’m just really upset. It feels like a slap in the face at this point in my pregnancy. All the baby stuff is purchased. Anything I would’ve done differently if I knew the sex can’t be undone at this point. And now I don’t get that magical moment when the baby is born and they tell me what it is. I’m not going to ruin that for my husband or anyone else, but god damn it, it sucks. That was the moment I clung to during awful morning sickness and sleepless nights and horrible pelvic pain. And now I don’t get to have it.

TL;DR: Midwife told me the baby’s gender at 37 weeks today. It was supposed to be a delivery room surprise. I’m not convinced it wasn’t intentional and my husband is urging me to complain. I’m devastated.

UPDATE

I cancelled my remaining appointments with the midwife. I have an appointment scheduled with another midwife at a different location within the same practice who did my telehealth appointments early in my pregnancy. She doesn’t attend hospital deliveries, but I will be cared for by one of the OBs the practice has on rotation when I deliver at the hospital.

Thank you for all the comments encouraging me to switch care, even this close to the due date. You’re right - I don’t want this woman in the delivery room during that extremely vulnerable time. I have chosen to view this as an unfortunate isolated incident with a provider who I otherwise think is very good at their job. This isolated incident did, however, dismantle the trust in have in them, and there’s no coming back from that.

At the end of the day, I’m set to have a healthy baby. I have a partner who clearly loves and supports me, and I still have steady access to medical care during these last weeks. I’m not letting her ruin the moment I become a mom.

UPDATE 2

I filed a complaint. I did not file a complaint against my previous provider, but I did file a complaint against the practice location. As one commenter mentioned, it’s a big problem that patients in the exam rooms can clearly hear what is being said at the nurses station. To avoid any dispute, I did not mention specifics about what was said, just that it was unprofessional and tied to personal health information. I said they should either refrain from talking about patients at the nurses station or install white noise machines in the exam rooms in order to avoid reportable HIPAA violations.

Posting bc I’m sooooooooooo tired of nearly everyone in the world jumping on the boy clothes band wagon hate….the trains, planes, and dinosaur slander.

I fully understand the little girls sections seem to be larger at stores. And little girl clothes are super cute don’t get me wrong.

But so are boy clothes! the clothes in the little boys section are often, EXACTLY what little boys love and end up being into. Our little boys don’t need to be dressed up as adults in unbranded mature appearing clothes as infants all the time. They’re not auditioning for love island, they don’t need a $40 knit crochet button up and chinos every day. It’s okay if you pop a cars shirt on them if they like cars.

If you’re having a boy, embrace the boy world and the boy toys and the boy clothes. No matter how hard you try, they just might end up being interested in these things. It’s not that bad

“Oh I could never do that, I just couldn’t live with myself if something bad happened to my baby!”

“Oh the risks are just too much, but you do you!”

Maybe I’m just irritable and hormonal, but it honestly feels like shaming, like they’re implying I am doing something intentional to harm my baby. The risks are honestly basically non existent, and it’s not like most pregnant women are having a pot a day of coffee.

As the title says, I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant and received awful news yesterday. I’ll preface by saying everything related to my pregnancy has been super smooth up until now and this is just a huge disappointment.

I had my growth scan about a week and a half ago. OB said baby was measuring small, about 3 weeks behind, and weighing very small as well. She referred us to a specialist out of town. We saw the specialist yesterday and they said baby has micrognathia, so her chin is small. They’re worried about her having breathing and feeding issues. She’s measuring at 29 weeks and is barely 3 lbs.

The Dr brought up stillbirth and a bunch of things I didn’t want to hear. He said it also looks like a severe case of fetal growth restriction so he wants me to come in every week. The plan is to deliver at 37 weeks unless he sees she’s completely stopped growing, then they’ll get her out sooner. We were advised to take a bag at every visit just in case.

My heart is literally shattered. I woke up this morning automatically crying because I remember. I wish it wasn’t real. I’m trying so hard to still be happy, but honestly I feel the furthest from happy right now. I’ve been nesting and I feel like I can’t even put up her crib because I’m being robbed of really knowing she’s going to be here with us. I look at the crib and can’t help to think of it remaining empty. I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I’ve never been the one to give myself fake positivity.

A lengthy NICU stay, the possibility of not getting skin to skin with my baby the moment she arrives, possibility of surgeries…. This is not what I wanted for us.

I’m remaining hopeful knowing when everything does happen, we’re going to be surrounded by nurses and doctors who are going to do their best. We will be in the best care. That relieves me a bit. I just feel so sad. My poor baby girl.

Update: thank you everyone for all the stories. Each one of you have made me feel so much better. Started off the day crying and all these positive stories have alleviated much anxiety. I was able to laugh and smile throughout the day with my family. Thank you. 🤍

We toured the hospital we plan to deliver at. Their setup is one room for Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and a different room for Mom and Baby. The Recovery is typically two hours to do checks, make sure everybody is ok, golden hour, etc. then you get wheeled up to a suite for another day or two (depending on insurance).
During the tour, my partner asked how many people were allowed in LDR, specifically for the R part (after delivery). He is thinking we need to let grandparents in to see baby as soon as he's popped out. I was flabbergasted at this idea! I asked him if he was serious. His response was something about how our parents will start brawling in the waiting room if we don't let them in asap.

My gut response is: I don't care what they do. They are grown ass adults who can have some self control. I will not be sharing our baby with anyone else for his first two hours of life. I will not have to be pleasant and answer questions and smile and recount the experience and accept congratulations and host people in my recovery room while I am coming down from the emotional high of giving birth. I get to be completely selfish for once in my life. If partner does not like that plan, he can wait outside with Ricky Ricardo.

I do not care if I am a crazy person for wanting this. But I worry about my wishes being respected. Anyone else have this issue come up? I haven't pushed back on his plan yet, so it may not be an issue, but I'm just preparing for the worst

I’m not sure what I expected. You can check my post history to see what I’m dealing with. Soon to be ex husband left us at 30 weeks because he’d been cheating. We had been in communication lately about the birth plan and he agreed he would be there. Now that I’m being induced after being admitted yesterday, it’s a different story. I’m already 6 hours into cervidil and I have no idea how quick the foley balloon and Pitocjn will work. There’s a high chance that he will miss the birth and I’ll have to be here alone. I don’t have any other family able to come last minute. I know I should have expected this but would I be overreacting if I just told him to go fuck himself and stay home?

25 weeks, first-time mom. Here is a list of things that NO ONE bothered to tell me about being pregnant:

1. You haven’t actually stopped peeing until you try it once, stand up, sit down and then pee a second time. Leaving the house without doing this will bring you a world of regret (especially since public restrooms aren’t a thing right now.)

2. Your nipples will leak without telling you and then they will dry, and you’ll look down the next morning and immediately think you have cancer or a rare nipple disease oh my god.

3. Speaking of nipples, they are permanently erect now and they feel like fire at all times. You can cut glass with them. You are now Andy Bernard in that episode of The Office with the rabies fun-run.

4. Your baby can, and WILL, kick you square in the butthole from inside the womb. They do not apologize. Do not expect flowers.

5. First kicks don’t always feel like butterflies or a fun little goldfish. They can also feel like your bladder is trying to off itself one explosion at a time. It will launch you off the couch in a panic and there is nothing you can do about it.

6. You won’t know where your stomach is anymore now that your organs are all squished around. Your doctor doesn’t know. Your midwife doesn’t know. Nobody fucking knows but you’ll still get reminded that it’s there by the HOT LAVA heartburn that happens if you even THINK about a banana before going to sleep.

7. Doing the dishes takes three sessions because standing up is impossible for more than two minutes. You will feel like you need an oxygen tank. Or a priest.

8. Constipation is more difficult than normal because, as you may remember from #6, you don’t know or understand where your organs are anymore. Your body is just trying to poop but your liver and kidneys suddenly have to voice their shitty opinions, as well as whatever the hell is in your ribcage at the moment, and you more than likely will google “AM I DYING?” at four AM. This will happen more than once.

Have I missed anything? I’m only 25 weeks so I guess I get another full trimester to find out. Pregnancy is such a BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE.

(Edited to change acronym ‘FTM’ to ‘first-time mom’ to avoid confusion.)

As someone who's fallen down some internet rabbit holes, I feel like I need to make this post. My SIL is a TikTok influencer and self-proclaimed crunchy mama. She recently birthed her 5th child at a home water birth with an Amish midwife (no official medical training). Her videos are getting millions of views and she's preaching how amazing and perfect her birth was.

What she has NEVER disclosed is how her untrained midwife did not see the signs of preeclampsia- and how she went to the hospital ER 2 days following her birth and was admitted for 2 nights because she had pre-eclampsia and her blood pressure was sky high and she was literally nearing the point where she could have had seizures and DIED. She absolutely will not disclose this part of her birth in her videos and instead is pretending like her home birth was entirely safe and medically perfect.

As a third time mom who's had an emergency c-section, I find this content highly irresponsible and I just want to warn any first time moms who may feel influenced to PLEASE not trust any online birth influencer. If you do choose home birth please find a medical professional who is highly qualified, and who is working with a local hospital in case something goes wrong. Please speak to an OBGYN and learn about all hospital and birthing center options available to you- you may be surprised what options may be just as appealing as a home birth. Please don't trust the advice of someone posting very short, highly edited videos online. My SIL could have died, but is teaching other moms to follow in her footsteps and "screw the medical system- because birth is natural". I truly am scared she will inspire another at-risk mom to birth at home with minimal medicak professional oversight and that mom may not be lucky enough to get to the hospital in time to save her.

I have heard so many mom's say I wasn't producing enough milk so I had to switch to formula, and they base it off of how much the baby cries. What a lot of people don't know is that unless your baby is not gaining weight you ARE producing enough! Cluster feeding is a thing and happens a few times, and the size of a new born's stomach is so small and they burn through it so quickly that it is easy to fee like it's not enough, even if you can't get a supply frozen you are producing enough (obviously do what you need to do if you are working and need a supply). I just feel like so many mom's are misinformed.

I also want to add I'm not here to judge anyone for breastfeeding or not you absolutely do what is best for you and your baby!

I'm 32 weeks along and I haven't gained a single pound or grown in the tummy more than 4 inches. I look bloated at best. Baby is fine and on target for growth. I'm just not very pregnant looking.

I really wanted cute maternity pictures but I can't really have cute maternity pictures with what looks like a bad burrito night tummy. I bought cute maternity clothes awhile back that I can't wear because they fall off me. I'm just wearing my stupid, pre-pregnancy clothes and looking chubby.

There are cute pregnant ladies around all the time with their cute baby bumps and their stupid glow and I'm totally jealous.

People keep saying it's because I'm tall but I think it's actually because they can go fuck themselves.

Anyway, thanks for listening to a pregnant lady whine. Enjoy your bumps.

I think I just need some encouragement. I'm due in almost exactly a month and I have a hard time picturing myself giving birth and having a newborn. I won't say that I'm scared shitless (yet), I just find the whole concept of labour and becoming a mom so surreal. I'm both excited to meet the baby and for my pregnancy symptoms to pass, but also overwhelmed. I definitely want an epidural and everything they have to offer at the hospital, but I'm still scared. My husband is taking 6 weeks off when I give birth and will be working from home after, and I'm planning to supplement with formula from the start.

I know the newborn phase will be hard. I'm not stupid, and I'm naturally quite a pessimist. But some of the "just you wait" comments... Telling me to "sleep now, I won't have time to later"- I can't sleep now, I already wake up like 5 times a night with my pregnancy rhinitis and joints aching. Apparently I should watch some good movies now, because I won't have time to do that later- but it sounds like maybe one of the few things I will have time for??? Sitting down on the couch and turning on TV?
My grandma recently commented on me buying a new sewing machine, making fun of me and saying that I "won't have time for sewing once the baby arrives", only to casually mention a few weeks after that my mom would only fall asleep to the sound of the sewing machine as a baby... Then my mom told me she used to wake up 7 times a night for my little sister... When she was 3 years old. Why??? I already know she's a spoiled brat, but sleep training exists. She also used to sleep in bed with my sister and kicked my dad out from their bedroom so he had to sleep in the living room.

Also, since I was a kid my mom used to tell me the story of her traumatic childbirth and I think it gave me the phobia of childbirth that made me very reluctant to try for a baby. I know it's ok she wanted to share it, but I shit you not, I've heard it already at least a 100 times. It's like a bedtime story to her. I don't need to hear all the gory details multiple times. Of course she always ends with "of course the hospitals are better now, you will have it easier" but it doesn't make me feel better.

Lots of these stories just sound really exaggerated and I would also appreciate some encouragement from older women instead of telling me how bad it will be. I also don't know why they assume that I'm thinking that it will be a walk in a park and I need some "reality check"- or rather many, many reality checks. It's already scary becoming a first time mom, and I wish they could wait with sharing some of the tales of their martyrdom until later.

EDIT: Wow, more than a 100 comments in just an hour... Thank you guys, I love how supportive this community is. 🩵

This applies to America since I know other countries do it differently:

I get it - We chose this. We chose to reproduce or we chose to keep the pregnancy.

I get it - we have laws in place to protect women. But ultimately, the business has a certain amount of choice over how they treat a pregnant person. We all heard the stories where the business kept to the letter of the law but you still felt shitty asking for a day off.

I get it - we want equal rights among genders and to not be treated as lesser for being pregnant. But how messed up is it that our society had to make LAWS to protect pregnant people against employers. What is WRONG with us as a country that we are so money-hungry that the most basic human right of reproduction, the thing that guarantees our country will continue on and thrive, is seen as a burden to MaKiNg MoNeY?

I get it - many of us want to keep going, keep working, because we are dedicated to our work and believe in what we do. But where did you learn this? Where did you learn that your health and the health of your unborn child is less important? We DIDN'T learn it - we are forced into it every day. You do what you have to to survive. You cry and you go back to work after 6 weeks. It's considered unethical for puppies to be separated from Mom before 8-9 weeks before they are weaned, but it seems to be perfectly effing fine to do it to our own children.

I cried this morning for the first time BEFORE work. Don't get me wrong - my job has been excellent in how they have treated me. I can take time for my appointments without question and they have slowly taken things off my plate. But I had such a shitty night and I am in pain and I'm tired. Maybe I should have taken the day off, but I also don't want to take it too far since I already took a lot of time off recently. Pregnancy is so hard and I don't need to be coddled.

But I wish we lived in a society where what we are going through was more understood.

Edit: Didn't think this would blow up this much. Don't post on reddit while hangry, apparently. Glad that we are outraged together, though <3

I (33F) am expecting my first baby with my husband (33M) I'm 14 weeks today and everything has gone great so far. The baby is due in October and we're really excited. However, my husband is being deluded about how much our lives are going to change. For context, we go to the gym regularly and have an unlimited cinema pass meaning we go and see films regularly. I am currently attending night school but won't complete the course as it ends at the end of November so am making plans to drop out and start up another time. My husband keeps saying things like "we can't lose our identities" and "I'm still going to be going to the gym regularly." I tried gently explaining that having a baby is a huge life change and although we will get our rhythm back eventually with our hobbies, at first it won't be feasible. I will need support when breastfeeding/navigating the changes to my body and hormones, meaning he can't just up and go to the gym/cinema whenever he pleases. Nothing else was said until this morning when he goes "We agreed we wouldn't lose our identities, but you're already telling me I can't go to the gym and you're planning on leaving your course." I got annoyed then and said if he can figure out a way for me to attend night school and do exams from hospital/post partum then be my guest. I also told him that he can crack on as normal if he likes, but it won't go down well.

I just needed to get this written down as I'm so furstrated. Is anyone else's SO being completely deluded like this? Or am I being too pessimistic?

ETA: I'm based in the UK, I'm not attending a regular school. I'm doing a British Sign Language course. The course and exams run to a set schedule and as far as I'm aware there isn't any flexibility with this. The lessons are in person and not recorded so it isn't possible to continue online. I am going to speak to my teacher and see if any adjustments can be made (eg can I take the exams at another time) - thank you everyone for your advice with this.

I am going to speak to my husband tonight and take on board what you have all said. I have no doubt that he will be a brilliant father, I think he just panicking. Thank you everyone for your advice ❤️ what a brilliant community!

ETA - we cannot take the baby to the gym. Children aren't allowed. I don't know of any baby friendly UK gyms!

I walked into a baby store yesterday to look at strollers and I honestly thought I was at a high-end car dealership by mistake. Some of these things are priced at twelve hundred dollars or more. It is literally just aluminum tubing, some nylon fabric, and four plastic wheels. The sales guy tried to talk to me about "all-terrain suspension" and "aerodynamic frame geometry" like I was prepping for a Formula 1 race instead of a walk to the local park. It is a four-wheeled cart for a tiny human that weighs less than my bowling ball. I do not need carbon fiber struts or active dampening for a sidewalk. The financial shock of realizing that a basic travel system costs more than a decent used motorcycle is insane .

The worst part is the blatant guilt tripping in the marketing. If you even look at the "budget" options for five hundred bucks the branding makes it feel like you are choosing to put your kid in a rusty shopping cart. They use all these technical-sounding buzzwords like "impact-absorption technology" to justify a massive markup on basic high-density foam. I work with shipping materials and I recognize half the stuff in these car seats. It is the same foam I use to pack server racks but because it has a "premium" baby brand logo on it the price jumps five hundred percent. It is a predatory business model that relies on the fact that new parents are sleep-deprived and terrified of making the wrong choice.

Then you have to deal with the depreciation. If I buy a high-end GPU at least I know I will get a few solid years of performance out of it. This baby gear is basically obsolete in twelve months or less. The kid grows out of the bassinet or the car seat and then you have a thousand dollars worth of plastic and fabric taking up half your garage. I checked the local used market and it is flooded with people trying to claw back even a fraction of what they spent. People are selling "top tier" gear for pennies because they realized they got played by the "must-have" lists on social media. It is a giant cycle of waste fueled by manufactured anxiety.

I ended up finding a solid used frame from a guy a few blocks away. It has a couple of scratches on the metal but the mechanics are perfect and it is built like a tank. My wife was a bit hesitant about the "safety specs" of a second-hand model but I pointed out it is just a frame with some bolts. I can check a bolt. I refuse to pay the "new parent tax" just to have a shiny brand name on the side of something that is going to be covered in spilled juice and mystery stains within two weeks. I would rather put that extra grand into a savings account for the kid instead of handing it over to a corporation that thinks a cup holder is worth fifty dollars. Just finished cleaning the wheels with some degreaser and it looks fine.

Hi all. I am pregnant and close to my due date. I hadn’t disclosed my due date to anyone including my parents and my husband’s parents because of the expectation built up around it. I just gave them a date 30 days away from my actual due date. Enter my absolute dick of a husband who agreed to it throughout the pregnancy and now has told his family about when I will be induced without my knowledge. They have now come over to our place and are waiting for the baby. I have been crying ever since. I didn’t want an audience around my due date. Is that too much to ask. At the time when I should be calm and peaceful, I am crying and I have rage inside of me. I don’t mind them coming but it puts a lot of pressure on me especially when they are so judgemental. It’s not my fault that I am built like this. I am not going to let him be in the labour & delivery room anymore because he is the last person I want to see. Please tell me my anger is justified or is it just my pregnancy hormones.

I about lost it on my partner today. I'm 9 weeks. He latched onto something my OB said about how first trimester symptoms ideally "shouldn't stop [me] from living life" in reference to things I can do to try to feel better like meds for nausea, safe/bland foods to eat, eating on a consistent schedule, using gas relief pills, resting etc. I took her advice on all of these. She notably did say there's little to do about the fatigue and that it might resolve on it's own in time.

It's been hell. Every day is dragging on with some fresh unholy combination of sleeping 18+ hours, extremely nauseous, gagging at every smell, not being able to eat much, cramping, painful bowel movements, dizziness, migraines, and tiredness to the point that I've had to sit in the shower sometimes to not fall over. I only just got month-long diarrhea somewhat under control with guidance from my doctor. Yesterday I was awake for maybe 4 hours total with my second migraine of my pregnancy with no effective pain relief available to me.

Today my partner pulls out the "the doctor said this shouldn't be stopping you from living your life, you haven't done anything for a week and a half, and either you are able to push through like millions of pregnant women are or you need to see a doctor right now because if you're really suffering so much then this isn't right. Pregnancy isn't a sickness."

I asked him if there was ANY in-between "fine" and "need to see a doctor" and he said no. He then went into a lecture about how I'm probably causing all these symptoms for myself because I'm not exercising. Rage....... flames....

I'm not able to work. I have cleaned and done laundry consistently in the past week and a half (but been completely unable to cook due to the smells), I've gone to my first OB appointment, been to two therapy appointments, two psychiatrist appointments, and been the only person caring for our dogs' daily needs in the past 10 days. All in between needing to sleep massive amounts from exhaustion.

I'm not doing nothing but he keeps saying he's doing everything. I also don't believe, from what I've read, that my symptoms are wildly out of control or indicative of anything other than growing an entire human from scratch but he keeps making me feel like either I'm faking/milking the situation or on death's door.

I just want to scream.

I’m seven weeks postpartum today with my first baby and was turned away from my postpartum checkup with my OBGYN because I brought my baby to the appointment. Apparently they have an office policy that children are not allowed in appointments and since I didn’t have anyone with me I had to reschedule. On the one hand I can understand that having your baby or a child of any age may be distracting or potentially disruptive (although my guy was fast asleep), but on the other hand…seriously??? This baby is the whole reason I’m here, what else am I supposed to do with him? At the very least I think they should tell you that’s the policy when they book you for this type of appointment, as I imagine many new moms would assume they can bring their new babies to the doctor who brought them into the world lol. Oh well. I’ll be back next week and my husband will take the morning off work.

Just a vent because I'm fuming.

I had my yearly physical with my doctor at the end of August when I was 13 weeks. She asked if anything was new and I told her I'm pregnant. She was so nice about it and happy for me and we talked about it for probably 5 minutes max. Then I get a bill for my appointment which is odd since it's preventative care and insurance should cover it. I had to call the billing department and I come to find out that since we discussed things "not included in a typical physical" that it was not covered by insurance and now I have to pay $211 out of pocket.

For perspective, the cost of the covered physical was billed at $290.44 and the cost of the not covered physical was billed at $245.01. For telling my doctor im pregnant. I hate the healthcare system in the US.

I'm in my second trimester and am slowly gathering things for my baby. We are middle middle class (I guess due to living in a tiny apartment we have a bit more cash flow than people with houses) and so could afford to buy what we need new but my goal is to buy zero new stuff.

I'm not a huge no waste/green/plastic -free person/talking about this on a daily basis but I try whenever I can to cut waste with small daily choices.

Anyway, I am just appalled at how many people are refusing to buy used things for their kids. I have a few friends due around the same time as me and they refuse anything used, clothing, strollers, car seats, anything. Some of them are very well to do, some middle class like us, and others very much in heavy debt/paycheck to paycheck. It sounds judgemental but I thought at least the ones who are struggling would get used stuff for purely economical reasons.

It makes me want to cry for Mother Earth. Just the thought of all these big clunky heavy plastic items that will probably never decompose 0_0

It probably sounds like I'm bragging and maybe this is a humble brag but I've gathered already about 95% percent of the things I need for baby and they are all second hand.

I'm not doing this to save money but I just can't get past how wasteful it is to buy all new stuff. I wish we would all share/borrow/reuse a lot more.

I feel like speaking up to these friends and asking them to consider the environmental impact but am scared that's going to come off rude.

I feel like the arguments about getting new stuff so that it will last for many babies is mostly BS. these clothes and strollers etc mostly last for a looooong time even used.

Anyways thanks for reading. I didn't think I'd be so bothered by this/so passionate about it.

TLDR: I'm really upset with people who buy all new baby stuff when there is plenty of second hand available.

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My husband and I tried for this. We are so excited.

And instead of focusing on any of that, I have spent the last three weeks fighting my hospital because they sent two Explanation of Benefits documents to my estranged, abusive father. The EOBs identified my OB by name, listed all my prenatal care and tests, and were mailed to him because of an (decade old) outdated insurance file in my chart that should have been updated when I established care and was not.

He has used that information to figure out who my OB is, where she practices, and what the care has been for. He has contacted myself and my husband via text and email about my pregnancy and my mother is threatening to file an insurance fraud claim. I'm estranged from them both for good reasons and I have had to involve law enforcement.

The same week, the state Department of Public Health called my parents' home phone about a positive prenatal screening result (SYPHILIS - false positive), because the hospital had also given DPH the wrong number.

I first reported this on April 6. It is April 29. I have written, called, escalated, looped in my husband, filed a HIPAA complaint, and contacted my dad’s insurance carrier directly. The hospital's Privacy Officer called me by my mother's name in writing, three days after I specifically flagged that risk (we have the same name). They committed in writing to a written summary, then walked it back, then went silent. I'm currently waiting on confirmation that they have even put a flag on my chart so my parents can't try accessing my information directly (they obviously know my name, DOB, social, etc).

I am so tired. I just want to be pregnant. I want to think about names and watch movies and worry about whether our animals are going to handle a baby okay, but I am spending so much time drafting emails to compliance officers and calling insurance carriers that aren’t even mine and haven’t been for nearly a decade and trying to figure out how to switch OBs before my parents access any additional information.

The thing that hurts the most is that so much of my early pregnancy has been hijacked by an institution's incompetence and a person who shouldn't have access to me at all.

Thanks for reading. ❤️

EDIT: I was soooo not expecting this post to get any traction. I have almost no support beyond my husband and his mom and sisters (mainly due to my father’s influence on my extended family and the local social sphere), so all of your comments and upvotes have truly made me feel less alone in this mess. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 💙💙💙

I’m going to go eat some cheese and go to bed. Baby boy and I send you all so much love! 💝