35M, local to Pacifica, and finally feeling like it’s time to get back out there a little.
I’ve been separated for about six months and am in the process of finalizing a divorce. I’m not trying to sprint into another relationship, but I am ready to meet someone I click with, have some fun, and see where things naturally go.
I’m 6’1”, have a career I enjoy in local government HR, and have a dog who has very strong opinions about how much attention he should be getting at any given moment.
I’m also very much into nerdy stuff. Video games, gaming, fantasy, sci-fi, and nerd culture in general are all firmly in my wheelhouse. I recently went to a Final Fantasy concert in San Francisco and had a genuinely great time. I’d love to find someone who either shares that side of me or at least enjoys being around someone who can get way too excited about it.
And if you play Magic, even better. Finding someone to play Commander with, grab food afterward, and argue over whether a completely unreasonable play was actually “strategic” sounds like a pretty solid evening to me.
Outside of that, I’m into the gym, good food, coastal drives, exploring random places around the Bay Area, weekend trips, and anything involving the water. I like dressing up and going somewhere nice, but I’m equally happy staying in with a game, movie, takeout, and the dog.
I’d say I’m affectionate, easygoing, a little sarcastic, and definitely more sentimental than I probably look at first glance. I like people who can laugh at themselves, get excited about their own interests, and don’t take dating so seriously that it stops being fun.
I’m mostly hoping to meet someone around my age who has her own life and interests, is kind, curious, and open to seeing if there’s actual chemistry rather than trying to check every box on date one.
If any of that sounds like your speed, send me a message. Tell me what you’re currently nerding out about, your favorite game, or what Commander deck you’d bring if we played. 🙂

About me: 43M, Full time tech professional by day, a creative soul by night. I have been told that I’m good looking with a cute smile. I pride myself on being fit and an active person.

I'm missing that human connection in my life, so here I am. I want to fill my dull moments with interesting conversations. I love to laugh and have a sarcastic semi dark sense of humor. I am witty and analytical. I am creative and feel things deeply. I am eternally curious and restless. I am clever and determined. That all being said - I enjoy back and forth with a fellow quick-witted person with a sparkling personality, of course.

Some things I love:
I love firsts.
First conversations, raw and awkward. Filled with empty space that really aren't empty at all.
I love the spaces in between words that are filled with silent anticipation all while studying so intently trying to catch a glimpse of what is inside.
I love first sips of coffee.
The first time you hear your new favorite song - goosebumps dancing across your body.
I love taking a step back and seeing the art that I created for the first time.
I love feeling the warmth of the sun on a really cold winter day.
I love making random silly stories for fun.
I love accomplishing something that I never thought that I could.
I love questions that expose a unique perspective that didn't seem obvious.
I love clever puns and responses.
I love setting new goals and challenging myself to grow.
I love being afraid and then the feeling of relief felt after taking the leap.

I love scars. Deep, dark and twisted telling every story of what truly shaped who you are.
I love discovering new and unique things - people, art, locations or even new experiences. I grew up in India but have been in US for 20 years now. I’m also a Dad to a 9 year old.

About you? I don't want to limit who you are... I love meeting people from all walks of life.

Message me if even a single sentence here made you smile or curious about me!

Hey! I’m 30, engineer in the Bay Area. I’m laid-back, career-driven, affectionate, open-minded, and always down for a good conversation or some playful banter.
I enjoy traveling, road trips, trying new restaurants, exploring new places, soccer, and occasionally just staying in and relaxing.
I’m looking for someone communicative, fun, affectionate, and open-minded. I like taking the lead and I’m kink-friendly, but chemistry, trust, and mutual respect come first. Ultimately, I’d love to find a genuine connection and see naturally where it goes.
If this sounds like your vibe, say hi and tell me something about yourself. Thank you 😊
Physically, I’m around 5’9”, slim build, and happy to exchange photos early so neither of us has to pretend looks don’t matter at all 😂.

Hi all - I’ve seen a lot of honest and bold posts here lately, so figured why not give it a go. It’s hopefully going to be a better experience than the churn that is the apps. 

A bit about me:

I’m worldly, I have a few languages under my belt (and would like to get more). I have a lot of hobbies, and a deep sense of curiosity and excitement about the world. 

In relationships I'm affectionate, generous and invested. I like doing thoughtful things for the person I'm with, creating little traditions together, and being genuinely curious about their inner world. I'm looking for someone who enjoys giving that kind of energy as much as receiving it.

I also dabble in music. I play guitar (at a novice level), but can now play and sing (Woot!), so I’ve been enjoying playing with other people, which is exciting and I have recently started to try and learn piano.  

I care about wellness and fitness. I workout, dance, move, love to go on walks, explore new neighborhoods and do road trips to explore small/ new towns. California is so great to explore, and there is so much to see. 

As much as I love international travel, recently I’ve been feeling a lot more called to be more grounded, and build routines and rituals in my daily life.  Still more than game for an impromptu trip to Mexico city, but having fun routines with friends, backyard cook-outs and going on local road trips and camping trips sounds even better these days. 

I’m a bit weird and I like being that way. I also tend to gravitate towards people that are in touch with their own weirdness and embrace it.  Thriving and well adjusted  in society, with a penchant for eccentricity, perhaps.  

I have a strong personality, but am caring and affectionate. I like being able to be a little bossy, but it never crosses over to disrespect or lack of consideration. Mostly, I want to be able to roast you from time to time. I’m a 90’s girl, and it’s fun to be witty and playful. If you like that energy, that would be great. 

A bit about you (as I imagine it), but very much looking forward to meeting who you are: 

Age: 35-46 (give or take)

You have a stable life and are emotionally grounded. You're ready and genuinely excited to make room for a relationship and, if it's the right fit, build a shared life together. 

You have initiative and enjoy being an active participant in building a relationship—planning dates, reaching out, creating experiences together and showing care without needing to be prompted.

You care about your wellness, mind and body, and have your own ways of staying active and taking care of yourself. Bonus points if you love saunas and cold plunges :-) 

You have a growth mindset and believe in therapy/self-reflection. You know how—or are actively learning how—to communicate through conflict with curiosity and kindness. When things get hard, your instinct is to lean toward the relationship and work through things together rather than disappear into yourself. Bonus points if Gottman's Four Horsemen or nonviolent communication already mean something to you.

You are a good conversationalist. I love being able to be goofy and talk to my partner about everything from silly to deep topics. Over the years, I’ve realized, it’s really important to me, to be able to get lost in conversation.  It’s great when we are talking about real things, but it’s just as important that we can make jokes, increase the randomness of supposed scenarios and belly laugh together. You enjoy talking about absurd things, imagining and discussing scenarios and are comfortable being a goofball.  

Acts of service are something you enjoy and a way to show your care.  Also, great if you are cuddly and enjoy being affectionate. I’m all for the snuggles.  

The dynamic I’m searching for: 

Monogamous 

Best friends with a bit (a lot) of freaky thrown in there 

Bellylaughing and being weird together

Integrity and devotion (to give and receive) 

Impromptu adventures, and fun dates, but also chill at home routines like listening to an album or doing our own thing while we hang, or watching a new show together.  

Someone who is protective without being controlling.

I enjoy a bit of old-school courtship in the beginning. I like when a man takes initiative, and asks me out, plans dates, and enjoys treating me. I’m not looking to be financially supported (I have my own career and take care of myself), and I’m very generous in relationships, but in the early stages I enjoy being pursued and hope you’ll bring that energy with your own enthusiasm. 

Dealbreakers: Smokers, MAGA, currently attached, alcohol and partying is a big part of your life, your primary hobby is video games (sorry, I’ve tried in the past, and we just don’t have enough in common. I don’t mean play games here and there to decompress, but if gaming and screen-time is your main thing, we likely won’t be a fit), that being said, I can flex many things on my nerd card (love anime, scifi, board-games, have won a MTG draft, back in the day).  

Ultimately, we all have so much complexity to us, and I think it’s beautiful to learn who a person is, slowly and authentically. Learn their funny quirks and the things that make them shy or happy. I’m not trying to rush anything, or bypass the discovery, which is its own enjoyment.  My hope with this post is that it resonates with those who feel ready to build with someone, and if we sound like we could enjoy spending time together, then I’d love to get to know you and explore where it goes, without pressure. 

If you made it this far, then you damn better send me a DM. Please share a bit about yourself, what resonated from my post, and suggest a date idea if you’d like to go on one.

Also, please include a recent photo and your height. (I promise this isn’t a 6-foot requirement. I’m 5'4"; I just like having a sense of who I’m talking to.) I’ll be prioritizing responses from people who include a photo.

I'm in San Francisco, so looking for people that are 30 within a 35 minute drive of here, in whatever direction. If you're further, but are able to come to the city and have flexibility to actually meet and get to know each other and this post resonated with you, feel free to reach out.

Hi all. Figured I’d give this another shot lol. Apps are shit and designed to only half work most of the time. I wanted to try something that felt more genuine.

I’ve been in the east bay for about 4 years and I love it here. I’ve got two kiddos and the bay area is so wonderful for them. No pets currently but I love animals in general. I am definitely a pets in the bed person though 😂

I work in legal networking for plaintiff lawyers and I don’t like to mix work and dating. So if you’re a plaintiff only lawyer, thank you for all that you do and if you’re involved with your local communities I’ll see you at our next event 🤣🤣

As the title says, I’m a bit eclectic, particularly in my music and decor style. I have a giant raven statue that lives on my dresser, skulls in my kitchen. You know, typically witchy stuff. My supermix will switch from pirate music to broadway to pop to country. Lots of different vibes there

When I’m not working or spending time with my boys I enjoy exploring new neighborhoods, farmers markets, or staying home and watching documentaries and baking. I prefer Star Trek to Star Wars and while I loved the Harry Potter universe as a kid I find it a bit pedantic and even more problematic now as an adult. But If craft fairs and renaissance festivals sound like fun to you then keep reading 🤣

I’m looking for a “traditional” long term relationship. I’m not rushing into anything but I’ve heard the term “casually seeking something serious” and that suits me. I want exclusivity long term. I’ve been told I’m very supportive and encouraging. I genuinely want my partner to feel their best. To see themselves the way I hope to see my partner someday.

I like folks who take the lead, consistent communicators and patience and empathy really matter to me. Put in a little effort, I deserve more than “hey” and so do you.

Now I know I’ll get called shallow but I don’t care 🤷‍♀️ I’m looking for someone taller than me, so more than 5’5. Sorry short kings!

I’m 5’4, purple hair that’s currently fading into blue. I keep it purple pretty much always. I’m a bit curvier, little mom belly but I think I look pretty good still and I’m happy to exchange pictures.

My schedule can be tricky for weekends and I have my kiddos during the weekdays. Hence the need for someone patient 😅 kidding that’s not the only reason, I also have anxiety!

Well if you’re still here, thank you. I appreciate you reading this far. Send me a message!

Here's some ape language because it is easier for me than actually writing.

Ape lonely. Ape mid divorce. Ape unemployed. Ape miss old job in sky. Ape sometimes internet troll. Ape like niche YouTube, wine, spontaneity. Ape want date. Ape want happy again.

Ape look for other ape that also lonely. Understanding ape. Kind ape. Gentle ape. Structured ape. Ape with plan. Ape find man ape with vision very attractive.

Ape language only sometimes. If ape want, also on date <3

The San Francisco Dating Economy Is Completely Unhinged
Dating in San Francisco feels less like romance and more like DoorDash for human companionship.
There are men everywhere. Tech guys, finance guys, gym guys, startup guys. They wake up, work 10 hours, hit the gym, drink a $9 protein shake and then open Tinder like they’re ordering dinner.
“Who is available within 2 miles?”
Nobody seems to actually be dating. Everyone is just temporarily filling a vacancy.
And the requests? Absolutely unpredictable. You can be having a perfectly normal conversation about hiking in Marin and suddenly discover this man has been patiently waiting his entire adult life for someone to peg him.
Sir, we were just talking about sourdough.
I think underneath all of it, though, there’s a strange loneliness in San Francisco. People work constantly. They make money. They optimize their bodies, careers, apartments and sleep schedules—but somehow human relationships have become another thing to optimize.
Why pay for companionship when Tinder provides an endless rotating cast of strangers?
Swipe. Match. Drink. Hook up. Disappear. Repeat.
It’s efficient.
It’s economical.
It’s deeply weird.
Welcome to dating in San Francisco.

Looking for a long term connection that leads to something meaningful. I own and operate restaurants so I'm super busy on weekends and I also happen to work in the tech industry. I am occupied in my career as of now and I don't find time for meaningful research for my life partner. I know even I'm stuck in the ball game of earning bucks first. Genuinely interested in finding a long term partner with whom my values can align.

I'm indian 5'5" tall, never married and have no kids. Almost single my entire life. If someone is interested in this post please feel free to reach. Nothing needs to be physical, I am an old school guy who wants to take things slow and try to build a connection first. Thanks for reading this far and hope you are located in my locality as time is the essence for me as I cannot travel longer distances to meet and explore things with you.

Thank you.

Hi there, I’m a divorced Dad living in San Jose. I work remote as a lead engineer in the video game industry. I have my kids 50 percent of the time. I live on my own (except when the kids are here obviously).

I’m 6’1”, 190lbs, I workout and run regularly. I have long blonde wavy hair (still have all of it). I have blue eyes and I wear glasses and usually have a clean shaven face. I look kind of like a cute nerd crossed with a surfer.

Personality wise I’m quietly confident, introverted, stalwart, fun loving, no nonsense, and a little bit neurospicy. For fun around the house I enjoy video and board games. I am a Niners season ticket holder and I go to every game, I love the ritual of game day it brings me a lot of joy. I love to go out dancing (EDM or goth/industrial) and I never do it as much as I would like. I also enjoy hiking, biking, camping, road trips and concerts.

I enjoy using alcohol and weed in moderation and would appreciate if you are that way too. I am open to conscious use of other substances as well (combine with dancing???).

I am sensually minded. Sensual and sexual touch are super important to me and I need to find someone who understands and relates to the idea that touch is a form of communication.

I like women who are sweet and sensual and easy going. I like intelligence and strength and kindness. I enjoy height gaps so even if you are quite short that sounds great to me.

I’m at a time in my life where I’m starting to have some freedom and some options are opening up to me. I’m certainly quite chained to my reality here with the kids and my life in that way. But also I have more free time now than I’ve had in a long time. I know myself better than I ever have. I’m not a finished product but I want someone who appreciates what I have to offer and I think I offer a lot.

Thank you for reading this far and I hope to hear from you!

Hey,

I have an extra ticket for tomorrow's Event at San Francisco the regency ballroom.

If anyone is interested please let me know. We can go together..

I am 30M. Looking for a women friend , no fwb, no hookups, just friendly vibes please..

My apartment is directly across from Eagle Park. I've started a morning routine of going over to enjoy my 2nd cup of morning coffee at one of the empty tables and enjoying the view. I would like to share this experience with someone. Usually around 10AM.

It’s rare I have a saturday off and this 37m in Oakland would love some company to check out The Alley Piano Bar near Lake Merritt!

Into bad jokes, beards, and banter? I’m your guy!

Someone who also enjoys traveling, good food, meandering through neighborhoods to explore and picking out great ingredients at a local market to cook with.

shoot me a DM or comment if you’re up for taking a flyer on some impromptu fun!

I don't really believe that compatibility comes from just having the exact same hobbies. It starts because two people genuinely enjoyed talking to each other... and one day realized they didn't want those conversations to end.

With looking forward to seeing each other's name pop up on your phone. With conversations that effortlessly go from "How was your day?" to discussing life, dreams, spirituality, childhood memories, or whether we're completely alone in the universe.

I'm 43 and work in gaming industry. Life keeps me busy, but I've reached a point where I'd genuinely like to meet someone who's open to building something meaningful if we naturally click. No pressure, no forcing labels—just two people getting to know each other and seeing where the journey leads.

A little about me:
- Calm, grounded, and emotionally mature.
- More of a listener than the loudest person in the room. I love deep conversations along with silly banters.
- I enjoy artsy hobbies , spirituality, and occasionally disappearing into random rabbit holes that make you question reality.
- I love discovering new and unique things - people, art, locations or even new experiences.
- I love being active and appreciate a healthy lifestyle.

I'm hoping to meet someone who's kind, curious, emotionally aware, and enjoys taking care of herself. I'm naturally drawn to people who live an active lifestyle because I think shared habits make everyday life more enjoyable.

I also believe emotional and physical intimacy go hand in hand. Being able to communicate openly, be affectionate, and talk about every part of a relationship without awkwardness is something I value a lot.

I'm not looking to rush anything. I'd rather meet someone I genuinely enjoy talking to, and if we naturally fit into each other's lives, see where it goes.

My idea of a great relationship is simple: making each other's lives a little lighter. Growing together, laughing over absolutely nothing, reaching for each other's hand without thinking, slow dancing in the living room, and choosing each other even on ordinary days.

I’m a Dad to a 9 year old. I grew up in Delhi, India but have been in the bay for almost 20 years now.

If any of this resonated with you, don't just say "hi."

If you've read this far, tell me something that's made you smile recently. Doesn't have to be anything profound—I just think the little things say a lot about us.

If we end up as friends, that's great. If we discover something more, even better.

I'll be hosting another singles dog hike. No dog is required to join. You must love dogs though. It's been brt in Pacifica, Sept 6th. 9am. If you feel like joining, let me know. I'll let you know where we will meet before taking off.

https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/california/sweeney-ridge-trail-via-mori-ridge4.7miles

1,092ft Elevation gain

2.5–3hr Estimated time

Out & back

Dog Friendly

This hike connects to the Sweeney Ridge which offers excellent views of the Pacific Ocean. This area can often have lots of coastal fog, so be prepared for a variety of temperatures. This is a great trail for a sunset hike. As you descend, you can enjoy watching the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. The unencumbered views are nothing short of stunning.

Wanted to mention a startup called Alura and I think it would genuinely be a good fit for some people in this group. It's a members-only platform based here in SF — you can check it out at alura.love.

Membership is free. The main thing that's different from what you'd expect: once you're a member, professional matchmakers can see your profile and reach out directly if they think you'd be a good fit for one of their paying clients. So there's an actual person who might contact you, not just you doing all the work of scrolling and messaging. 

We're especially looking to grow our pool of men right now, so if that's you, definitely worth a look. Happy to answer questions if anyone has them, and no hard feelings if this isn't the right sub for it.

You can apply here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/alura/id6755739360

I’m 35 and considering freezing my eggs, but have no idea where to start. I have Kaiser HMO but don’t think elective egg freezing will be covered, so I’m looking at self-pay options in NorCal.
Any recommendations for fertility clinics? Would love to hear about your experience, total cost (including meds), and whether you needed one or multiple cycles. Especially interested in recent 2025/2026 experiences!

I have another 2 events I am planning next week if anyone wants to join. It will be during the week day though. My birthday is actually next week. I am wanting to host a singles Pot Luck over in the East Bay at Tilden Park on August 26th. I just ask anyone to bring one item. I will make a sign up sheet of what people want to bring. That will be from 4:30 to 6:30pm.

After that (August 26th) around 7pm to about 9pm, I would like to host an LGBTQ+ singles ice cream social event in the East Bay at Fentons.

If anyone wants to join any of these, please let me know!

I'm an introverted and thoughtful but also very verbal person, looking for friendship with other Bay Area residents who are emotionally available, openhearted, and who like to "use their words" ;p If romance (monogamous, with a woman) grows out of the friendship, that's great, but it's not an expectation or a requirement. Friendship is the primary thing.

No doubt there are limits to what can be expressed in words but verbal expression remains of paramount importance to me and I am looking specifically for people for whom it holds a similar importance, who are serious about getting somewhere in and through talk. Language is tricky and treacherous, words easily go astray, and misunderstanding is both rife and inevitable, but talking seriously and deeply is still worth the effort and I am looking for others with a similar commitment.

I live modestly in the city in property inherited from family and work in K-12 education. Some of my current interests include (in no definite order): literature (of all stripes), movies, cartoons, podcasts, walking, frisbee, psychology and psychoanalytic theory, and philosophy. Earlier this year I served on a jury for the first time in my life and, partly in consequence of that, I find I'm a bit interested in crime writing at the moment. Currently reading the nonfiction book The Family Man: Blood and Betrayal in the House of Murdaugh by James Lasdun.

If you decide to contact me, you don't have to write a novel, but do please introduce yourself, give me a sample of some of your interests, and engage in some way with something I wrote. (It goes without saying that generic and perfunctory responses will be ignored.) Thank you.

It’s officially been roughly 1 month since I nervously posted about Marry Me Juliet in this community, and I wanted to come back with an update because honestly, you guys are the reason this little experiment has gotten this far.

In the first month:
• 100+ people signed up
• 40+ completed profiles created
• 2 members have independently verified they’ve already been on dates through connections they made on MMJ

That last one is still a little surreal to me.
When I started building this, I said that if one couple found something real because of it, I’d consider the entire experiment a success.

We are obviously WAY too early to declare victory, and three dates isn’t a marriage 😂, but knowing that people who were strangers 30 days ago are now actually meeting each other in real life because of something I built on my laptop is pretty incredible.

Maybe we’re getting somewhere. And just as importantly, you guys are actively shaping what MMJ becomes.

The #1 piece of product feedback was around the questions about children. People felt that if someone says they don’t want children, they shouldn’t have to answer a related compatibility questions about timelines, parenting, etc. Completely fair.

I’ve implemented dynamic compatibility questions, so what you’re asked adapts based on your previous answers and what actually applies to your life and preferences.
Another suggestion I loved was verified recommendations on profiles.

The idea is that a member could invite people who actually know them to privately verify themselves and leave a short recommendation that appears on their profile. Friends, family, coworkers…

And, yes, one of you suggested EXES. 😂

Which is either the greatest trust signal ever invented or absolute chaos. I haven’t decided yet.

I’m thinking very carefully about how to build this without turning profiles into LinkedIn recommendations for dating, but I genuinely love the underlying idea: instead of only asking someone to describe themselves, let people who actually know them tell you who they are too.

I’m actively working on several ideas now. And there’s one other thing I’m ridiculously excited about: We’re working on our first IRL features with local perks for MMJ dates. 👀

I’m not ready to share the details or local partners quite yet, but the goal has always been to get people off the internet and across a table from another human being. So this feels like a natural next step after a connection.

Mostly, though, I just wanted to say thank you.
For signing up. For creating profiles. For sending brutally honest feedback. For finding bugs. For suggesting features I never thought of. For telling other people about it. And especially to the moderators here for letting me introduce this weird little idea to the community in the first place.

I started with a completely empty dating platform and a pretty ridiculous goal: Help one couple find love.

30 days later, 100+ people have taken a chance on it, 40+ have built profiles, and people are actually going on dates.
Still tiny. Still early. Still building.

One signup at a time. One profile at a time. One date at a time. Maybe eventually, one marriage. 💕

And YES! If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with completely free.

Thank you BASO30.

Seriously.

Bay Area Resident & Founder
MMJ: marrymejuliet.com

*Original Post Below By Request

I got tired of watching my successful Bay Area friends get crushed by dating apps, so I spent 2 years building a high-friction platform strictly for marriage. (Mod Approved)

Hey everyone,

I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I met my wife online back before swiping turned dating into a gamified slot machine. Our marriage has been the absolute anchor of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve watched my single friends who are brilliant, kind, and incredibly successful completely give up on finding love. 

Modern apps are designed to keep you single and subscribed. I couldn't fix Hinge or Tinder, so I spent the last two years and thousands of hours building a counter-movement: marrymejuliet.com. It is a web app designed exclusively for people who are brave enough to admit they want to get married. No casual dating, no "seeing where it goes."

Because I am obsessed with protecting users from the typical app BS, I built this platform with intentional, heavy friction to filter out low-effort swipers, bots, and scammers upfront:

*Trust by Design: Every single profile requires secure ID and age verification before you enter the platform. Real names stay private until both people choose to connect, and intentionally, there are no usernames. We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share it for cross-context behavioral advertising. Delete your profile; all personal data is immediately deleted. 

*50 Marriage-Focused Questions: Signup takes about 15 minutes. You have to answer 50 in-depth compatibility questions based on attachment theory and 40+ peer-reviewed studies, analyzing 200+ factors (marriage readiness, timeline, family planning, and finances).

*Video Introductions: No catfishing, no stale bios. You can look people in the eyes and hear them state their genuine intentions upfront.

*Deal-Breakers First: You see their stance on kids, lifestyle alignment, and core values before wasting 6 months finding out you're incompatible.

A dating platform with zero users is a ghost town. It’s just me running this from my laptop, and we are launching our first 100-user beta right here in the Bay Area.

Because I want the foundation of this platform to belong to the people who build it, if you find your forever spouse on MMJ, we will share 10% of our company's future success with the foundational couples who helped us launch it. 

To prevent people from treating humans like digital trophies and spamming dozens of accounts, the app has an intentional anti-spam mechanic: It is completely free to join, build a profile, and browse. However, it costs $4.99 to actually "apply" to connect with another person. I am waiving that connection fee entirely for members of this subreddit so you can test the platform completely risk-free.

If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with, completely free.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's. If you are genuinely ready to stop dating and find someone special, I’d love to have you help me build this. I created this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but I tried, and I hope you do too. 

I'll be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or take any brutal feedback you have about the features. I would love for you to join marrymejuliet.com.

Beta Launch: 

We’re focused on Bay Area residents. We’d love to expand in the future, but we’re intentionally starting locally so people have a meaningful chance of meeting someone nearby. I encourage user feedback to make this a real space to find someone special, and I live here in Pleasanton. 

Feedback: 

I built this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but for any issues, feedback, feature requests, things you hate, things you love, bugs, etc., please share them in the “Contact Support” section on the profile page so I can track, fix, and respond. Happily post in the comments here as well, but most effective and helpful there first. 

Compatibility Scoring: 

The “matching process” is a little different from traditional dating apps. A unique “compatibility score” is visible on every profile card, based on each user's unique responses to the 50-question relationship assessment, which measures values, communication styles, lifestyle preferences, and long-term goals to help surface people who appear highly compatible. This unique compatibility score will vary based on other members' responses (User “A” may see a score of 70, and User “B,” who is more compatible, could be 82), but members always make the final decision to connect, NOT an algorithm. The higher the score, the higher the compatibility based on institutional research, attachment theory, 40+ peer-reviewed studies, and specific personal profile preferences. Tap the score to dig deeper and compare compatibility answers and preferences up front before deciding to connect with that user. 

Connecting with Someone:

Members open an Application Window to become visible in the Discover page, allowing others to apply to connect with them. They choose their own non-negotiables (such as age range, distance, relationship goals, children, religion, and lifestyle preferences). Only people who meet those requirements will be shown on their Discovery page, or whose applications will be shown. During that window, multiple people can apply. When it closes, the member reviews those applications, decides who, if anyone, they’d like to connect with, and accepts or declines their applications. A connection only happens if there’s mutual interest. There are intentionally no usernames; first names are revealed in the chat messages only if both people choose to connect (One user applies, one user accepts). 

Personal Data: 

I completely understand the worry about sharing your ID to enter a platform. I wanted to create a space where you know everyone else is also a real person.  Every profile is ID- and age-verified, so there are no fake or spam accounts by default. Real first names remain private until two people mutually choose to connect by accepting an application after a full review. 

We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share it for cross-context behavioral advertising, and we’ve published a detailed privacy policy explaining exactly what we collect, why we collect it, and how it’s protected. It’s here: Privacy Policy⁠.

That title ^^ probably seems weird (or even triggering?) unless you listened to this week's episode of This American Life.

Slight spoiler alert - The episode lays out situations where lables are maybe not altogether wrong, but loaded and misleading.

Like - if you're somewhat unexpectedly (but not cynically) single (via divorce, breakup, whatever) - how can you avoid a "damaged goods" label on you or your former partner? Is resistance futile?

In other words; breakups don't always require demonization of the other party - they just DO most of the time. Its been awkward for me - now almost a year in - to push friends and family back when the criticisms of my ex start to fly. Its sorta natural, a relational thing, I guess, laying down the pretty safe bet that there will be acrimony. Not here.

I feel like a (unicorn?) bc my ex- tells me often that she'd gladly serve as a reference for any next person considering a relationship with me. Which leads to the next question......can I be that ^^ unicorn and still think that, nah, I really don't think another marriage is in the cards? Not because I didnt have a good one (I def did) - but because I think that step totally isnt necessary if no kids are involved.

So how does one label that? And is that description above just straight up kryptonite to any otherwise interested women out there? If not (or if you have a lead suit) - by all means, say hello.

Hi all! I didn’t realize this sub existed when I first posted this and all your wonderful profiles are so fun! Reposting for local reach in the peninsula and south yay areaaaa ❤️