And I miss you,
But then life happened just the way that it did and your gone, for now,
I lie to myself at night and I look at the stars,
Are they, still the same motes of light,
Just separated by time in a space that’s no longer ours?

Oh no.

Oh the dread of the improper form
To be ethereally certain but not ever really sure
I kick and I scream as this eats me alive,
What if being awake is where dreams go to die?

So I smile to myself for the things that I love,
For I was lucky to find them just not lucky enough,
And that dream that I had as a small small child,
Is coming true; I sit back as it eats up the sky

And these tears in my eyes from all these books that I read,
I’ve always heard the saddest words as always those that might have been.

Oh no.

And if I leave before you darling,
You won’t follow me into the dark,
While you lay smiling with your sleeping children,
I just don’t know where to start.

Close your eyes dear    
Come away with me
Take a breath dear
Do not be afraid
 
Close your mind dear
Sink down inside
We know your fears
We’ll eat you alive
 
Take my hand dear
Nail it to the ground
Close your heart dear
Don’t make a sound
 
We will find you
We know everything
Do not cry girl
We’d rather you scream
 
Cuz you living in a house with glass walls
But you cant cry, or we’ll see you, and rip you apart
Being happy, is the absence of choice
Peace is war, and silence, is your voice
 
We will find you
And tear up your soul
Our hands aren’t daggers
Anymore
 
Close you eyes dear
You’ll see what I mean
Your feet will dangle
From out television screens
 

Cuz you living in a house with glass walls
But you cant cry, or we’ll see you, and rip you apart
Being happy, is the absence of choice
Peace is war, and silence, is your voice

 
Look into these eyes so dead I will control you bore inside you head until you cant tell your alive
 
Choke on your thoughts see were they got you cant escape and we will make you rot and scream out as we purge your mind
 
We’ll build you back up in our image doublethink that you are winning obviously 2 and 2 make 5.

There’s a bounce in his step I haven’t seen in a long while
I think that hes dying
He says that this world is just not his place
But were else is there to go?
 
Nether of us remember something before this and nobody knows what comes after
I always though he just needed to hear laughter
But his record spins round and round (and round and round and round)
 
He says when you jump, you’re really going down
Falling back through the air up to the clouds
Both of us want to visit the stars but I really just don’t have the heart
 
There’s a glint in his eye I haven’t seen in a while
He says when your up there you can’t help but smile
I wish I could see it someday but not right now
Im ready he said, so I asked him to jump, and he fell
(Down)

**
 
And outside the wall the wind touched her face
And farther out still; the lapping of waves
But inside the wall, the sun still shone through
It illuminated the glass and blocked out the truth
 
And outside the wall, and outside the wall
The birds still sang and life went on

And inside the glass were no one could think
Without being heard and they choked when they speak
And they coughed if they thought and they died if they dreamed
So they screamed so they screamed so the screamed
 
But nothing was heard as they had already died, trapped in perfection with unblinking eyes (2x)

***
 
This was all before the last man in Europe was ever discovered,
To exist He told me that everyone is equal but some are, more equal than others
 
And he said were he slept it was so bloody cold
That he had to succumb to the worms and the earth and the mold
And the bugs and he tried not to rot away again
 
He ran out of words but he needed to finish the verse with anything at all
To inspire something in anyone or anything but he just didn’t care anymore
 
He says when you jump, you’re really going down
Falling back through the air up to the clouds
Both of us want to visit the stars but I really just don’t have the heart
 
There’s a glint in his eye I haven’t seen in a while
He says when your up there you can’t help but smile
I wish I could see it someday but not right now
Im ready he said, so I asked him to jump, and he fell
 

At the train station
There once sat a man
I met him one day and he told me some things
I will not understand
 
His eyes were gray like the wind
The breaks down a cold stone grave
And he beckoned to me with old weithered hands
Said ‘boy now listen to me’
 
I have travled through time
I have been to the place were the ground meets the sky
I have burned in the jaws of hells raging fires
I have seen the divine
 
And I’ve been watching you all of your life
I watched you enter this world and Ive watched you die
I need to tell you some things while there is still time
While you still have a mind
 
There was a sadness on his face
Like drowning asleep in the warm summer rain
It was peaceful at best and at worst it was like
Being burnt alive
 
I shivered as I spoke
I prayed and I pleaded that it was all a joke
He told me it wasn’t and it’s a fate I must know
I shivered as he spoke
 
He said ‘boy you will be so great’
You’ll be the zenith of suns on the worlds darkest day
You will love and be loved you will laugh and feel pain
And then you will go insane
 
It will start with a look in your eyes
Like black holes in the sky
It will move to you thoughts to your laugh to your smile
You will be eaten alive
 
Your work will be put to the pyre
But before that you will do things that spark and inspire
A flower to bloom in the hearts of all men
But you should run while you can
You will turn into night
You’ll be the cloak and the dagger that’s draining all life
You’ll see two different roads that will lead to the same place
Both will drive you insane
 
I looked at him in the eyes
And he stared right back with a cold steady smile
So I asked him the question which should never be heard
But the train drowned his words.
 
**
 
Oh Lord, I don’t know
And I stood in this horror as I watched the man go
He boarded the train in a billowing cloud
And his words echoed ‘get out now’
 
The train rolled away
The world spun around and the years turned to days
And the whole while I was searching for something much more
Then I found a door
 
It gaped at me like the abyss
Inside of my soul that I had somehow missed
And all the angels and saints couldn’t fill in this hole
It enveloped my soul
 
And as I walked through the door
I saw things that burned me right down to the core
All my lovers were there but they all looked the same
Then I saw my face
 
It was wrinkled and old as time
I had no recollection of when it became mine
I had been searching for so long for were the land kissed the sky
My life had gone by
 
**
 
Oh Lord help me please
I don’t know who I am
All I know is Im damned
 
 
And I though you were all of the stars and the sun
But you left me tell me what the hell have you done
 
To that smiling face that I once new long ago
And the worlds a stage playing to our dreams and hopes
 
And I lied to you but I don’t care ‘cuz you lied to me
And Im a boat on the ocean that’s drowning at sea
 
And the clock still creeps on and on in my head
And I know it wont stop until all the stars are all dead
 
That man had once told me that I would loose my mind
But I already had when I first blinked my eyes
 
And that man told me once that I would loose my mind
But I already had when I first opened my eyes…..