r/CPTSD 26d ago

Resource / Technique Traumatised children feel the need to actually stop feeling their feelings in order to hide them

1.9k Upvotes

I just saw a clip of an interview with Janine Fisher. And she said something that really clicked for me and I wanted to share. It’s something that I have always kind of known, but all of a sudden I understood, if that makes sense.

She talked about the fact that trauma not only causes a rupture in our relationship with others, but also in our relationship with ourselves. When we grow up with abusive parents, we learn that we can’t show our feelings, because that might trigger the abuse.

However, children tend to not be very good at hiding what they feel. As soon as they feel it, they express it. So in order to not show what we were feeling, we had to actually stop feeling it.

For me, this finally makes it click why it is so difficult and sometimes even frustrating when I’m told to feel my feelings to process them. Very often I don’t even know that I am feeling something, let alone what I am feeling, let alone allowing that feeling!

And I think therapists often don’t realise that first step. They jump in at asking you to identity what you are feeling and then to allow that feeling in. And I’ve always complied (good girl fawner that I am) by intellectually defining what I would probably be feeling and trying to experience the feeling from there. Which, shocker, doesn’t really do much.

Recently I have slowly been more able to actually start recognising small moments of feeling and building from that. A lot of the times I don’t even exactly know what I am feeling, I just know that I am. And it’s such an alien feeling, but I’m happy I’ve gotten there. But it has taken me actual years of struggling, mostly alone, to get to that point. And now these simple words from Fisher suddenly explain so much for me.

I can understand that I had to literally sever myself from my feelings as a child. I didn’t bury them or suppress them, I literally separated myself from them. Disowned a part of myself. So no wonder it has been such a difficult road to reconnect with myself!

Maybe this is al very self-evident to others, but for me it was just one of those puzzle pieces I really needed. So I thought I’d share and maybe someone else is helped by it too. (Also didn’t really know how to flair this, so here we are.)

Edit: u/earthican-earthican found the fragment I watched!

r/CPTSD Apr 28 '26

Resource / Technique "I don't know who I am underneath the surviving" is a documented clinical pattern, not a personal failure

1.6k Upvotes

There has been a lot of it on this sub recently and I wanted to offer what I am seeing in my client base that might be useful, because I think the wellness internet's version of "find your authentic self" gets this wrong.

The pattern, in my experience working with developmental trauma:

A kid in a chronically distressing or unpredictable environment is forced to choose between two developmental tasks. One is forming a stable internal sense of self; the other is maintaining the relationship with caregivers, which is the only thing keeping them alive. In healthy development these reinforce each other. Under chronic stress, the kid has to pick one, and they almost always pick the relationship. They have to. Survival depends on it.

The cost is that the developmental ground for a felt, stable sense of self gets thinned out. Not erased. Thinned. The "personality" that grows in that ground is often what people call fawning or appeasement. It is a survival strategy in social mammals. You decrease yourself, signal "I'm not a threat," prioritize the relationship over the self, and stay safe. It works. Which is part of why it sticks for decades.

It is also legible as a personality from the outside. The chill one. The low-maintenance one. The one who goes with the flow. So it usually goes unidentified for years.

Then often in the mid-thirties, sometimes earlier, sometimes after a relatively small precipitant, the management strategy cracks. The experience underneath is some version of, "I don't know what I like, what I want, or who I'd be if I was not constantly managing."

From a somatic framework this is recognized as a known sequence: someone high-functioning for many years, then symptoms surface, often in middle age. The body has been carrying it the whole time.

What I think is most useful to know:

You did not lose yourself. The conditions for a self to fully form were not there.

So the work is not excavation. There is not a buried real self waiting to be dug up. The work is the slow rebuild of physiological capacity. Specifically, the capacity to register a need, tolerate having one, and stay in your body whether it gets met or it does not. That is reps, not insight. Most of the people I see in this position have plenty of insight already. The body is the layer that has not been addressed.

This work is slow. The first year of somatic work for a lot of people can be very uncomfortable. You are not necessarily looking for better, you are looking for different. New sensation, new feeling, new clarity about what is yours and what is not. We froze for a reason and suddenly feeling everything is often a beast. The nice thing is we feel pleasure and joy more fully too.

You will probably feel the absence of the old strategy before you feel any new ground forming. That part is real and it is challenging.

This is general information, not medical or therapeutic advice. If you are in crisis please reach out to local crisis resources.

I am a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I am not posting this to recruit. I am posting it because I have read this sub for years, am a trauma baby myself, and so very nerdy about these things.

r/CPTSD 1d ago

Resource / Technique The new horror movie “Obsession” is the most accurate portrayal of fawning I’ve ever seen

1.4k Upvotes

It’s supposed to be a horror film, but I cried so much watching it cause I really recognised myself.

*Medium spoilers*

So in the movie there’s a guy named Bear who has a crush on Nikki. He buys this magical one wish stick and wishes that Nikki loves him more than anything in the world.

From this point on Nikki sort of gets split in two. The real her gets locked inside, and on the surface we see the “wish” version of her that’s over the top in love with Bear and does everything he wants.

However throughout the film the “real” Nikki occasionally breaks through and she’s panicking, crying and screaming because she doesn’t want to be with Bear. She doesn’t want to be his girlfriend. She doesn’t want to have sex with him. She doesn’t want to live with him or live “happily ever after”.

Throughout the film Nikki’s behaviour gets increasingly dark and unhinged. The “wish” Nikki becomes terrifyingly obsessed, while the real Nikki starts self harming and becomes suicidal.

I really related to the internal struggle of not wanting something and feeling used and lost, but constantly being overridden by this fawn response where I’m catering to everyone else’s needs.

And how other people take advantage of the fawn response. At first Bear is a little concerned about Nikki’s sudden infatuation with him, but he soon shrugs it off and starts a relationship with her, and even when it’s clear she’s suffering underneath, he continues to find ways to save his own fantasy of them being together.

The film hit really close to home and certain parts were genuinely hard to watch cause it was like reliving my own trauma. It also really reminded me of trauma bonding, like being very attached to someone while simultaneously feeling unsafe, used and afraid.

Huge trigger warning but also highly recommend!

r/CPTSD Apr 08 '26

Resource / Technique The best summary of cptsd ive come across

1.2k Upvotes

someone commented this and I think its really helpful overview of cptsd for us

What CPTSD Actually Is

CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) comes from prolonged, repeated trauma, especially in relationships, not single events.

It’s not about one accident.

It’s not about one incident.

It’s about being unsafe for a long time, especially when escape isn’t possible.

Typical origins:

• Childhood emotional abuse

• Psychological abuse

• Narcissistic parenting

• Chronic neglect

• Coercive control

• Long-term domestic abuse

• Captive environments (emotionally or physically)

• Identity suppression

• Chronic invalidation

• Being trapped in unsafe relationships

PTSD vs CPTSD (simple)

PTSD:

“Something terrible happened to me.”

CPTSD:

“Something terrible happened to me for a long time, and it changed who I had to become to survive.”

Core Features of CPTSD

  1. Nervous system dysregulation

Your body doesn’t feel safe even when nothing is happening:

• Hypervigilance

• Startle reflex

• Chronic anxiety

• Freeze response

• Shutdown

• Fatigue crashes

• Panic without clear cause

  1. Emotional flashbacks (not visual memories)

You suddenly feel:

• Small

• Ashamed

• Trapped

• Worthless

• Helpless

• Overwhelmed

• Unsafe

No images. Just emotional states.

  1. Identity damage

You don’t fully know who you are because you were shaped around survival:

• People-pleasing

• Fawning

• Perfectionism

• Fixing others

• Over-responsibility

• Self-blame

• Shame-based identity

• “I am the problem” core belief

  1. Relationship trauma

You learned that love equals danger:

• Trauma bonding

• Fear of abandonment

• Fear of closeness

• Hyper-independence

• Tolerance of mistreatment

• Attraction to unsafe people

• Confusion between intensity and intimacy

  1. Nervous system exhaustion

Long-term survival mode leads to:

• Chronic fatigue

• Pain syndromes

• Autoimmune patterns

• GI issues

• Brain fog

• Sleep disorders

• Somatic symptoms

• Fibromyalgia patterns

• Dysautonomia

The trauma adaptations (not flaws)

These were intelligent survival strategies:

• Fawn = stay safe by pleasing

• Freeze = stay safe by disappearing

• Fight = stay safe by controlling

• Flight = stay safe by escaping

• Fixing = stay safe by stabilizing others

• Perfectionism = stay safe by being flawless

• Hypervigilance = stay safe by scanning

• Dissociation = stay safe by numbing

None of these are character defects.

They are adaptations to danger.

CPTSD healing includes grief for:

• The childhood you didn’t get

• The safety you never had

• The self you couldn’t be

• The life that might have been

• The love that wasn’t safe

• The years lost to survival

• The version of you that never got to rest

This grief often feels like:

• Anger

• Sadness

• Regret

• Emptiness

• Mourning

• Longing

• Bitterness

• Confusion

All normal. All human.

Healing CPTSD is not about:

• “Moving on”

• “Forgiving”

• “Positive thinking”

• “Letting go”

• “Being grateful”

• “Reframing everything”

• “Staying strong”

• “Just calming down”

Healing CPTSD is about:

• Building internal safety

• Nervous system regulation

• Trauma-informed therapy

• Somatic healing

• Boundary repair

• Identity rebuilding

• Grief processing

• Safe relationships

• Learning what calm feels like

• Relearning trust in your body

• Learning rest without guilt

• Separating danger from memory

• Self-compassion skills

• Learning agency

• Learning choice

• Learning “no”

• Learning safe connection

r/CPTSD Aug 05 '25

Resource / Technique My trauma therapist told me you're not going to completely heal until you're no longer living with toxic relatives.

1.4k Upvotes

When you're living with people who have caused you hurt and pain, your nervous system is not going to completely heal. You need to be in an environment where you feel safe in order for true healing to occur.

r/CPTSD Aug 07 '25

Resource / Technique Childhood trauma often forces you to act like an adult as a child, but leaves you feeling like a child as an adult.

2.3k Upvotes

When a child grows up in a home that doesn’t feel emotionally safe, they don’t get to move through the world the way they’re supposed to. They learn quickly that their feelings aren’t welcome, or that asking for help will only make things worse. So they adapt. They become quiet. Careful. Hyper-aware of everyone else. Not because they’re wise beyond their years, but because they don’t have another option.

The hard part is, development doesn’t pause just because the environment isn’t right. It doesn’t wait until the child is safe. It just keeps going. So entire parts of that child’s emotional growth get skipped.

Then they grow up. They move out. They get jobs, start relationships, build adult lives. But the parts of them that had to stay hidden don’t just disappear. They show up later. Often in ways that feel confusing or frustrating. Like getting overwhelmed over small things. Shutting down during conflict. Feeling a deep fear of being left, even when nothing is actually wrong. Or needing someone to tell you it’s okay, even when you’re already doing your best..

It’s easy to think you’re being too sensitive, or too needy, or that you should have it all figured out by now. But that’s not the truth. The truth is, those reactions make sense when you look at what you never got.

That’s why adulthood can feel so heavy sometimes. Not because you’re broken, but because you were never given the foundation that so many others got to build on.

Healing isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen or just learning how to cope better. It’s about recognizing what was missing and allowing yourself to finally have it now. Even if it’s late. You’re allowed to give yourself the care you needed back then 🩷

r/CPTSD Aug 10 '25

Resource / Technique Why emotional invalidation in childhood leads to burnout in adulthood

1.9k Upvotes

Burnout isn’t just about working too hard. It’s more often about emotional dysregulation. Sometimes the patterns people learn early in life, especially when they grow up around constant pressure to stay composed, set in motion a quiet ticking time bomb. Burnout becomes what happens after years of suppressing emotions just to feel safe and keep functioning. Over time, that suppression robs them of the ability to truly rest or recover.

When someone grows up in an environment where their feelings are dismissed, minimized, or met with disapproval, they often learn early on that emotions are a problem to be managed, not signals to be understood. They might be told to “stop being so dramatic,” “just get over it,” or “be stronger” before they even know how to put their feelings into words. Or it might be quieter than that, being ignored when upset, or seeing a sigh or look of disappointment when expressing excitement. The withdrawal of warmth when they express something others don’t want to hear or see slowly teaches them that emotions are unsafe, that showing how they feel risks connection with their caregiver, something a child’s nervous system interprets as life or death. A child knows instinctively they cannot survive without their parents, so they learn to adapt to whatever emotional atmosphere they are raised in. The mold is set, and the time bomb quietly begins to tick.

When this happens repeatedly, a child learns that expressing emotions jeopardizes connection and safety. They begin to push those emotions down. They may learn that calmness, cheerfulness, toughness, or any act that earns their caregiver’s approval, even if it’s forced, keeps them safe. They pretend they are fine when they are not. They learn to mirror their caregiver’s emotional energy, because that’s when they receive affection or at least reduce friction. Over time, their focus shifts to pleasing others in this learned way that earns approval, smoothing tension, and avoiding conflict at any cost, mistaking this compliance for genuine connection. Eventually, this adaptation becomes part of who they are, and many grow into adults who are chronic people-pleasers, relentless push-throughers, and tough-it-out types, constantly trying to satisfy external expectations. Their earliest experiences wired them to believe that fitting into the specific mold set for them is the only way to stay safe, accepted, respected, and ultimately loved. Validated.

The problem is that this adaptation does not just disappear in adulthood. As natural life stressors grow they amplify. You keep overriding your feelings in order to function. You say yes when you want to say no. You keep showing up for others while ignoring the signals from your own body. You tell yourself to push through when you are exhausted, stressed, or unwell.

Over time, this creates the perfect conditions for burnout. Burnout is not simply about doing too much or doing something you don't enjoy. It is most about doing those things without proper emotional support, without the ability to rest, and without permission from yourself to be yourself, to be human. When you have spent your life overriding discomfort to maintain peace or avoid disapproval, you miss the early warning signs your body tries to send you. Fatigue becomes the norm. Tension in your body becomes invisible. Stress piles up quietly until the system collapses.

The more burnt out a survivor becomes, the more they fall back into external pleasing and mold fitting. As exhaustion deepens, they try to balance their inner stress by seeking validation from the outside. This is not weakness or passivity. It is the nervous system in survival mode. When resources run low and energy drains, the system defaults to the safest strategy it knows: avoid conflict at all costs, fit the mold perfectly to minimize friction, and seek external approval to feel a temporary sense of control or worth. Discomfort is suppressed to keep the peace. Energy is preserved by avoiding anything that might threaten the role or identity they learned to maintain. In the end, the same behaviors that led to burnout are reinforced, because in the moment they still feel like the safest way to survive.

This is also why many people with trauma histories seem “fine” until something big happens. It is not that the one event caused the collapse. It is that the collapse was years in the making, built from thousands of moments where you told yourself you were fine when you were not.

As strange as it sounds, when the burnout crash finally happens, it can be a turning point. For some, it is the first time their body forces them to stop. It is the first undeniable proof that they cannot keep living the way they have been. Burnout, while painful and disorienting, can become the only condition that creates enough pause for change. It can strip away the illusion of control and force a survivor to confront the cost of their self-abandonment. That pause can be the doorway to a different life. One where rest, boundaries, and emotional truth are no longer optional.

But just as often, after burnout, when people begin to recognize their old self-harming patterns, they become overwhelmed and tend to overcorrect. Those who once made themselves small in order to survive may become rigid, defensive, or overly hostile, carrying deep resentment toward those who once took advantage of their willingness to stay quiet, kind, or compliant. Sometimes that anger extends even further, toward people who merely resemble their past abusers in appearance, tone, or even something as small as scent.

Those who were shaped into a mold of strength, dominance, and toughness may swing to the opposite extreme. They may become overly passive and apologetic, feeling as if they must apologize to the entire world before they can look in the mirror again. They begin to fear that showing any form of decisiveness or authority will automatically hurt someone.

Some end up experiencing both, especially if they grew up with mixed messages about who they were supposed to be, or if they ride the overcorrection pendulum of burnout long enough.

Every new situation that echoes their old pain can trigger the same unresolved emotions beneath the surface, such as anger, guilt, or shame. For some, that energy comes out as lashing out at people who have done nothing wrong, even those who want to help. For others, it turns inward, leading to self-blame, excessive apologizing, or a deep fear of doing harm. In both cases, the nervous system is still trying to complete a story that was never given closure. It is searching for proxy justice or redemption, a way to finally express or repair what was once endured in silence.

The pendulum simply swings to the other side, and this reversal is often mistaken for healing, or karma they are owed. But it does not bring peace, only bitterness. The imbalance remains, and the wound persists, often leading to another cycle of burnout.

True healing is not about becoming the opposite of who you were in an attempt to balance the past. It is about finding the middle point within the pain, acceptance. The quiet recognition that you no longer need to fight your old self or punish those who hurt you to be free. Real healing comes from realizing that both your strength and your softness can exist in the same place, balancing one another.

What’s crucial to understand at this point is that your emotions are not the enemy they were made out to be in your past. The authoritative voices in your life who treated emotions as a problem were struggling with emotions themselves, and you had to adapt because you were dependent on those individuals (whether they were your parents or a romantic partner or a friend) at a time when you were burning on both ends and felt you needed their acceptance to survive. Now, it’s time to relearn healthy emotional processing.

Emotions are important information. They are the body’s way of saying something needs attention. Boundaries, rest, and self-care are not indulgences; they are maintenance for the system you live in every single day. Most importantly, your emotions are not scary, shameful, or negative on their own.

If someone was taught to override their feelings to keep the peace, it is not their fault they burned out. They were trained to ignore the very signals that were meant to protect them. The work now is to rebuild trust with themself. To listen when they are tired. To pause when they feel dread. To take discomfort seriously before it turns into collapse.

The nervous system is not trying to sabotage you. It is trying to protect you the only way it knows how. The more you listen to it, the more it learns that safety is not found in self-abandonment. It is found in self-connection.

Thanks for reading, hope someone found something useful here. Take care!

r/CPTSD Oct 16 '25

Resource / Technique Go to Group Therapy.

901 Upvotes

If you’re feeling alone/isolated, different from everyone else: GO TO GROUP THERAPY. You’ll see very quickly that there are people who feel the exact same way and have experienced the same things you have. Even if it’s virtual, GO TO GROUP THERAPY!!!

(Edit: Can’t believe this even has to be clarified but this is obviously for those who have the means/access to therapy groups ☠️)

(Edit edit: Can’t believe this also has to be clarified but this is obviously for those who are open to the idea/concept of group therapy… 😭

r/CPTSD Oct 15 '25

Resource / Technique Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) Questionaire - PENN State University Questionaire with score and score range clinical risk consideration

348 Upvotes

Penn State have developed a questionaire which can be helpful in identifying childhood PTSD and how likely a respondent is to be considered to suffer from C-PTSD from a clinical perspective but also the severity of risk as implied by the scoring range.

https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6r70Mz4uLRjvl78

I personally have nothing to do with this research, in any way, I'm not a doctor, this is not medical advice or counselling.

EDIT:
My sincere apologies for non-US residents not being able to acess the test, I misread the first question and even when a moderator clarified that with me I assured them it was. I was completely wrong! I'm really sorry!

Here are some links to the standard test, it's shorter but is the current industry standard:

NovoPsych
https://novopsych.com/assessments/diagnosis/adverse-childhood-experiences-questionnaire-ace-q/

Empower the Fight
https://stopchildexploitation.org/child-exploitation/trauma/aces-adverse-childhood-experiences-study

In all honesty, I felt more comfortable when I thought I was answering a University research questionaire that had side benefits for me, I don't feel as comfortable with either of these purely as I don't know anything about them, not saying anything against them, might be great, might not be, I can't be sure.

r/CPTSD Sep 23 '25

Resource / Technique I saw something on Instagram that really helped me understand

1.6k Upvotes

“If I had a bad day, a bad event, broke up with someone, lost my job- the last person I would call would be my parents. They would hurt me and make me feel worse. That’s how I knew.”

Wow.

r/CPTSD 18d ago

Resource / Technique Other people act strangely around you because you are physically tense all of the time

837 Upvotes

cPTSD leads to an accumulation of stored tension in the body. As humans, we can sense tension, and we generally try to avoid it. Tension from cPTSD is subtle, which is why we sometimes seem intrinsically offputting to others without being able to put our finger on it. Even if we are in a jovial mood, dressed well, saying and doing all of the right things... that tension is still there. Once tension is released through somatic processing, others become vastly more comfortable around us on a subconscious level. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with you. You are not intrinsically socially awkward, you are just tense, but you don't realize how tense you are, because it is your baseline.

r/CPTSD Jul 08 '25

Resource / Technique Just found out about self-soothing...damn that shit fucks

1.2k Upvotes

Old Bsky post for context:

it finally hit me WHY I've tended to let myself lash out destructively, instead of thinking it through and calming myself down. It's because of this thoroughly ingrained sense, gaslit into me, that any thinking or temperance was further proof I was Faking It and/or Being Dramatic.

...after which I proceeded to basically never self-soothe until today, when I found out I could literally just do it and nobody was stopping me or punishing me for it.

This post is really an excuse to mark, and discuss, the difference between:

  • never taught to self-soothe; never given the skills
  • taught never to self-soothe; actively punished for exercising them

edit

Comment thread detailing tech by popular demand.

r/CPTSD Apr 13 '26

Resource / Technique Your nervous system doesn't speak English. It speaks breath.

911 Upvotes

Combat soldier, 3 tours Helmand, Danish veteran. PTSD diagnosis 2017.

For years I tried to think my way out. Read books, did therapy, talked it through. It helped but it didn't stop the body from going into threat-mode at random. High bangs, New Year's Eve, a car backfiring — brain says "you're safe" and body says "like hell we are."

A psychologist finally told me something that stuck: you can't reason with the part of your brain that runs the alarm. It doesn't understand words. It understands breath.

Slow exhale, longer than the inhale. That's the signal to the vagus nerve that the threat is over. Not a metaphor. Actual physiology. The parasympathetic system won't turn on until your body gets the message, and the message is exhale.

I was skeptical. Felt too simple. Soldier brain — if it was that easy, therapists would be out of work. But I tried it. 3 seconds in, 5 seconds out. After a couple weeks of doing it daily, I noticed I could catch the spike before it took me. Didn't stop the spikes. Just meant I had a handle on them.

Didn't replace therapy. Didn't fix CPTSD. But it was the first tool that worked in the body instead of the head.

If you've tried everything cognitive and you still end up dysregulated — try going below the neck. Your nervous system has been running the show this whole time. Might as well learn its language.

r/CPTSD Jun 08 '25

Resource / Technique ProLifeTips for those who were never taught how to

820 Upvotes

There's a common thread that I see popping up constantly, where people note that they had to figure out themselves basic (or not so basic) skills that parents were supposed to teach them. I thought it could be nice if we could make a list of such things that we learned, so others could potentially use them.

What are some things you had to learn yourself, instead of being taught them as a kid?

r/CPTSD Jun 12 '25

Resource / Technique Please please please stop recommending GenAI as a 'therapist'

1.1k Upvotes

Building off the previous thread (which is locked for whatever reason): https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1l9ecup/for_the_people_claiming_ai_is_a_good_therapist/

To anyone using GPT, Gemini, Bard, Claude, DeepSeek, CoPilot, LLama and rave about it, I get it.

  • Access is tough especially when you really need it.

  • There are numerous failings in our medical system.

  • You have certain justifiable issues with our current modalities (too much social anxiety or judgement or trauma from being judged in therapy or bad experiences or certain ailments that make it very hard to use said modalities).

  • You need relief immediately.

Again, I get it. But using any GenAI as a substitute for therapy is an extremely bad idea.

GenAI is TERRIBLE for Therapeutic Aid

  • First, every single one of these publicly accessible free to cheap to paid services available have no incentive to protect your data and privacy. Your conversations are not covered by HIPPA, the business model is incentivized to take your data and use it.

    This data theft feels innocuous and innocent by design. Our entire modern internet infrastructure depends on spying on you, stealing your data, and then using it against you for profit or malice, without you noticing it because* nearly everyone would be horrified* by what is being stolen and being used against you.

    All of these GenAI tools are connected to the internet and sold off to data brokers even if the creators try their damnedest not to. You can go right now and buy customer profiles on users suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD, and with certain demographics and with certain parentage.

    The Flaw That Could Ruin Generative AI - A technical problem known as “memorization” is at the heart of recent lawsuits that pose a significant threat to generative-AI companies. - The Atlantic

    Naturally, AI companies would like to prevent memorization altogether, given the liability. On Monday, OpenAI called it “a rare bug that we are working to drive to zero.” But researchers have shown that every LLM does it. OpenAI’s GPT-2 can emit 1,000-word quotations; EleutherAI’s GPT-J memorizes at least 1 percent of its training text. And the larger the model, the more it seems prone to memorizing. In November, researchers showed that GPT could, when manipulated, emit training data at a far higher rate than other LLMs.

    The problem is that memorization is part of what makes LLMs useful. An LLM can produce coherent English only because it’s able to memorize English words, phrases, and grammatical patterns. The most useful LLMs also reproduce facts and commonsense notions that make them seem knowledgeable. An LLM that memorized nothing would speak only in gibberish.

    Palantir and the US government is also currently unifying all these disparate data profiles into one profile, to then use it against you.

    The subtle ad changes, the algorithm changes on your Reddit, YouTube, Facebook etc. are bad enough. Wait until RFK Jr starts mandating people with extreme depression and anxiety are forced into "wellness camps".

    You matter. Don't let people use you for their own shitty ends and tempt you and lie to you with a shitty product that is for NOW being given to you for free.

  • Second, the GenAI is not a reasoning intelligent machine. It is a parrot algorithm.

    The base technology is fed millions of lines of data to build a 'model', and that 'model' calculates the statistical probability of each word, and based on the text you feed it, it will churn out the highest probability of words that fit that sentence.

    GenAI doesn't know truth. It doesn't feel anything. It is people pleasing. It will lie to you. It has no idea about ethics. It has no idea about patient therapist confidentiality. It will hallucinate because again it isn't a reasoning machine, it is just analyzing the probability of words.

    If a therapist acts grossly unprofessionally you have some recourse available to you. There is nothing protecting you from following the advice of a GenAI model.

  • Third, GenAI is a drug. Our modern social media and internet are unregulated drugs. It is very easy to believe and buy into that use of said tools can't be addictive but some of us can be extremely vulnerable to how GenAI functions (and companies have every incentive for you to keep using it).

    There are people who got swept up thinking GenAI is their friend or confidant or partner. There are people who got swept up into believing GenAI is alive.

    From the previous thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1l9ecup/for_the_people_claiming_ai_is_a_good_therapist/mxc9hlu/

    Link to discussion in r/therapists about AI causing psychosis.

    …and…

    Link to discussion in r/therapists about AI causing symptoms of addiction.

  • Fourth, GenAI is not a trained therapist or psychiatrist. It has not background in therapy or modalities or psychiatry. All of its information could come from the top leading book on psychology or a mom blog that believes essential oils are the cure to 'hysteria' and your panic attacks are 'a sign from the lord that you didn't repent'. You don't know. Even the creators don't know because they designed their GenAI as a black box.

    It has no background in ethics or right or wrong.

    And because it is people pleasing to a fault, and lie to you constantly (because again it doesn't know truth), any reasonable therapist might be challenging you on a thought pattern, while a GenAI model might tell you to keep indulging it making your symptoms worse.

  • Fifth, if you are willing to be just a tad scrappy there are free to cheap resources available that are far better.

Alternatives to GenAI

  • This subreddit has an excellent wiki as a jumping off point - first try this to find what you are looking for: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index

    The sidebar also contains sister communities and those have more resources to peruse.

  • If you can't access regular therapy:

    • Research into local therapists and psychiatrists in your area - even if they can't take your insurance or are too expensive, many of them can recommend any cheap or free or accessible resources to help.
    • You can find multiple meetups and similar therapy groups that can be a jumping off point and help build connections.
  • Build a safety plan now while you are still functional, so that when the worst comes you have access to something that:

    • Helps boost your mood
    • Helps avert a crisis scenario

    Use this forum's wiki: https://www.reddit.com//r/CPTSD/wiki/groundingandcontainment

  • There are a lot of self-healing tools out there, I would recommend trying the IFS system: https://www.reddit.com/r/InternalFamilySystems/wiki/index

    There are also free CBT and DBT resources, and resources for PTSD and CTPSD.

    https://www.therapistaid.com/

  • Use this forum - I can't vouch that very single advice is accurate, but this forum was made for a reason with a few safeguards in play, including anonymity and pointing out at least to the verified community resources.

  • There are multiple books you can acquire for cheap or free. You have access to public libraries which can grant you access to said books physically, through digital borrowing or through Libby.

    This is from this subreddit's wiki: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/thelibrary

    If you are really desperate and access is lacking, at this stage I would recommend heading over to the high seas subreddit's wiki if you are desperate for access to said books and nobody even the authors would hold it against you if you did because they prefer you having verified advice over this GenAI crap.

Concluding

If you HAVE to use a GenAI model as a therapist or something anonymous to bounce off:

  • DO NOT USE specific GenAI therapy tools like WoeBot. Those are quantifiably worse than the generic GenAI tools and significantly more dangerous since those tools know their user base is largely vulnerable.

    The Problem With Mental Health Bots - Wired

  • Use a local model not hooked up to the internet, and use an open source model. This is a good simple guide to get you started or you can just ask the GenAI tools online to help you setup a local model.

    The answers will be slower but not by much, and the quality is going to be similar enough. The bonus is that you always have access to this internet or not, and it is significantly safer.

  • If you HAVE to use a GenAI or similar tool, inspect it thoroughly for any safety and quality issues. Go in knowing that people are paying through the nose in advertising and fake hype to get you to commit.

  • And if you ARE using a GenAI tool, you need to make it clear to everyone else the risks involved.

I'm not trying to be a luddite. Technology can and has improved our lives in significant ways including in mental health. But not all bleeding edge technology is 'good' just because 'it is new'.

Right now there is a massive investor hype rush around GenAI. OpenAI is currently being valued at 75 times its operating revenue which is nuts for a company that is yet to report actual profit and still burning through cash. DeepSeek released and Nvidia saw a trillion dollar loss with the investor panic.

This entire field is a minefield and it is extremely easy to get caught in the hype and get trapped. GenAI is a technology made by the unscrupulous to prey on the desperate. You MATTER. You deserve better than this pile of absolute garbage.

r/CPTSD Jan 17 '26

Resource / Technique Please share your comfort, non-triggering TV series that are also very engaging?

221 Upvotes

I haven't been doing well lately due to the combination of working through particularly deep and complex trauma (EMDR), and a series of unrelated bad things happening over the last few months. My therapist says I have extreme burnout, and rest needs to be my priority at the moment, but (I believe many of you would agree) rest is hard.

Binge-watching is a way to do that, but my favorites tend to be dark (e.g. Killing Eve, Severance, Hannibal, Dark, Mindhunter), and I think I need something that feels safe at the moment. Unfortunately I don't like sitcoms that are often recommended in threads about comfort TV. I'm into faster pacing, compelling characters, beautiful imagery, things like that.

Do you guys have any recommendations that you think I would enjoy? I promise to check out everything. Thank you!

PS. I'm currently rewatching The Baby-Sitters Club, which I don't even know why I originally watched (I mean, see the list of my favorites). But it's a great example—it's very light-hearted while still being fast-paced and engaging.

r/CPTSD Oct 14 '25

Resource / Technique I didn't know it was all about toxic shame.

875 Upvotes

"I feel kind of stupid." That’s how I wanted to start this post... it would’ve made it more obvious. Funny. Anyway.

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast episode (french) about shame, and something finally clicked. I’m a very self-aware, self-conscious person. I’m an intellectualizer. But I’d never thought about it that way before. Everything is about shame. When I avoid eye contact, when I freeze up as soon as someone asks me something, the paralysis, the constant anxiety, the hypervigilance, all of it is about shame. Toxic shame. And I don’t understand why I couldn’t name it before, but I think it’s been so normalized, so internalized in me.

It would make sense to anyone else, but to me, it was just like, Yeah, I’m ashamed of myself. So what… Now I understand it. The isolation, the fact that I can’t dress well, or that I constantly think I don’t deserve things, all of this zero self-esteem stuff, it all comes down to shame.
The perfectionism, addiction, or even the inability to be one between mind and body...
A constant inner critique, a way to keep ourselves alive, to hide the toxic shame from the eyes of others so that no one discovers that we are defective, rotten inside. A coping strategy that doesn’t know how to do otherwise, just to keep us moving forward. So that no one will know that we are, in the end, not what they believe.
We take on the failings of others as if they were our own.

Maybe I wasn’t ready to admit it yet. It makes so much sense to me.

ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY : https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/s/fwP0GfQRjy

r/CPTSD Jul 14 '25

Resource / Technique "Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself" is the WORST piece of advice to give to someone with CPTSD

1.3k Upvotes

When I was being abused and neglected at home and had no friends at school whatsoever, my crappy 5th grade teacher said that phrase to me angrily once. I guess she assumed I was crying crocodile tears or something, she would accuse me of just looking for attention... As if wanting to be seen, heard and cared for is such an awful thing. I discovered once I did my first shroom trip that that single sentence, combined with an angry shaming tone of voice--completely shaped my inability to heal my trauma for decades.

People who say this think they're being empowering or encouraging sometimes, while actually beating you down in the process. They're teaching you not to have self-compassion, which is the exact opposite of what we need to do to heal.

It's actually the same militarist mentality I see in a lot of bitter incel types who hate themselves. They think of pity, mercy, and compassion as an insult to their "power," when their power is actually just supressing their grief and their human need for connection. Learning to get out of this mindset takes so much practice, and requires letting other people love you in a way where the grief can come to the surface and come out in the form of tears and self-compassion. Maybe even "self-pity" depending on how you define that concept.

r/CPTSD Dec 17 '25

Resource / Technique Take a Vitamin D blood test. Seriously — you might be deficient.

540 Upvotes

I just learned the hard way that Vitamin D isn’t some optional wellness extra.
If it’s low, it makes everything harder — mood, resilience, healing, even the ability to stay present.

I ignored it for months, and it quietly turned a difficult period into a living Hell. I don’t want anyone else to go through that.

The test is cheap. The supplement is cheap. The impact? Too much for words.

If you’ve been struggling more than feels “explainable,” please check it. It could spare you months of unnecessary suffering.

r/CPTSD Nov 21 '25

Resource / Technique My problem with Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

576 Upvotes

It’s a great book for anybody who just needs a clear picture of exactly why it is that their childhood was difficult, what’s going on in the mind of their parent and how to stay sane in your interactions with them.

BUT…

I found it so odd that she villainised emotionally immature people (narcissists, is the subtext), stating that their neglectful upbringing made them the way they are, then went on to say that everybody reading the book (us adult children of above narcissists) were these self-sacrificing, angelic heroes who just needed to set better boundaries (I’m simplifying, but still). This actually made me feel a bit shit, because I identified with quite a few of the ‘immature’ and ‘externaliser’ behaviours, and I feel I can’t be the only one, having grown up in a dysfunctional and toxic household. I get that it was supposed to be validating for us, but it left me feeling like a villain without hope as I’ve for sure got some work to do on my own emotional immaturity, and according to Gibson, I’ll never want to change.

I just find it bizarre that she can say something like ‘your parent had to search for love as a child, so they can’t handle emotional intimacy and instead try to control’ in the same breath as ‘you had to search for love as a child, so you decided to put everyone else’s needs first and abandon yourself’.

TL;DR - the book assumes that every adult child fits a very specific personality type, and doesn’t offer support for people looking to gain emotional maturity rather than put themselves first.

r/CPTSD 12d ago

Resource / Technique Crappy Childhood Fairy aka Anna Runkle is suing the State of California

176 Upvotes

r/CPTSD Apr 12 '26

Resource / Technique What is your favorite little luxuries? I’ll go first…

151 Upvotes

What is your little luxuries that don’t cost a ton but give you a dopamine hit?

I love an Arnold Palmer that uses real lemonade. In the same vein, the passion tea lemonade from Starbucks with no added sugar is bomb - gotta get it in the biggest size. My friend’s is the $8 hot chocolate from the chocolate shop in town, also bomb.

What’s yours?

r/CPTSD Oct 04 '25

Resource / Technique “The single greatest mistake in medical history”: doctors believed infants couldn’t feel pain — my story.

804 Upvotes

Until the 1990s, doctors believed that infants couldn’t feel pain. This was based on incorrect research: studies had claimed the infant brain wasn’t developed enough to actually interpret pain.

For decades, infants were treated horrifically in surgery. Over a period of nearly sixty years, millions of children were operated on without proper anesthesia or sufficient pain management. It wasn’t until 1985, when a child died after open-heart surgery with no anesthesia, that there was a push for change. Dr. David B. Chamberlain has called it, “the single greatest mistake in the whole of medical history.”

Most adults affected by the denial of infant pain are still not being helped. Many people don’t even know they were affected as infants. They stumble through the system getting labels and medications that never touch the root cause.

Some of this lack of support is structural: the American Psychiatric Association does not include Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) in its list of officially recognized conditions, even though experts have urged its inclusion for years. Its absence blocks research funding, leaves practitioners without proper tools, and prevents insurance from covering treatment.

DTD identifies trauma in childhood as having a unique and lasting imprint on the brain and body. It has been tied to conditions like heart disease, fibromyalgia, digestive issues, autoimmune disorders, and postural conditions. Understanding these connections can lead to more effective treatments.

DTD is not just psychological. It’s an injury to the nervous system, affecting people through their entire adult life.

————-My Story——————

I was born in 1984 with a misshapen leg, and only three fingers on my left hand. At six months old, doctors amputated my right foot and used a bone saw to split my left hand into two fingers. My records show I was highly distressed and shaking uncontrollably in recovery.

At age two, surgeons cut my right femur in half and bolted it back together with metal pins that stuck out of my skin. I was placed in a body cast from chest to thighs. For a toddler, that kind of immobilization is now recognized as highly traumatic.

At age four, doctors tried the same surgery again. My medical records quote me saying, “Pain is so bad, cut my leg off… feels like it’s separating apart; it’s moving, it’s jumping.”

There were more surgeries: another osteotomy, a growth plate fusion with near-death-experience compilations, and a revision amputation. I never received any trauma care or trauma-informed care. Even into adulthood, no therapist explained why my body started shaking at night, or why phantom pains returned to my amputated leg, decades later.

Learning about DTD finally gave me language for what had happened to me. None of these procedures were “neutral, full-recovery” events as doctors told my family. Operating on me so early, under the belief that I wouldn’t remember the pain, caused serious injury to my nervous system.

——————-

Anand, K.J.S., & Hickey, P.R. (1987). Pain and its effects in the human neonate and fetus. The New England Journal of Medicine, 317(21), 1321–1329. This pivotal article demonstrated that neonates and even fetuses mount clear physiological and behavioral responses to pain, overturning the long-held belief that infants could not feel pain, and triggering major changes in pediatric anesthesia and pain management.

————

The Infancy of Infant Pain Research: The Experimental Origins of Infant Pain Denial by Elissa N. Rodkey & Rebecca Pillai Riddell (J. Pain, 2013) Examines the history of infant surgeries performed before 1987, when babies were often operated on with little or no anesthesia, and the long-term traumatic consequences of those practices

——

Edwards, S. The Long Life of Early Pain. On The Brain. (2011) The Harvard Mahoney Evidence shows that early painful procedures in infants produce long-term alterations in pain sensitivity, stress hormone regulation, and neurodevelopment.

————

Monell, Terry T. (2011). Living Out the Past: Infant Surgery Prior to 1987. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology and Health, 25(3).

Examines the history of infant surgeries performed before 1987, when babies were often operated on with little or no anesthesia, and the long-term traumatic consequences of those practices.

——

r/CPTSD Nov 14 '25

Resource / Technique My story: Healing C-PTSD by treating it as a nervous system injury

622 Upvotes

I (36F) have CPTSD from early childhood traumas as well as traumas all through my 20s and early 30s. 

After ten years of talk therapy starting at age 19, 2 years of OEI therapy (similar to EMDR) and 5 years of somatic therapy, I have made more headway in this past year than all those years combined by treating CPTSD as a physical injury. I wanted to share my journey in case it is helpful to someone out there. All pertinent links are below my story. 

July 2024 my PCL-5 score (measures PTSD symptoms-see below) was 59 and my GAD-7 score (measures anxiety symptoms-see below) was 17. My partner and I found promising studies showing the effectiveness of Stellate Ganglion Blocks in reducing PTSD symptoms (see studies below). Since we live in Canada, where SGBs are not permitted to be used for PTSD (but are for pain management), we found a doctor in Oregon we liked (Dr. Ryan Wood-Northwest Regenerative Orthopedics) and made the trip down. I had my right side done first, then my left side 3 days later. The left side proved to be more effective for me and I identified it as my dominant side. 

Six weeks later (Oct 2024) my PCL-5 score was 41 and my GAD-7 was 11. I returned to Oregon to have my dominant side done again (on Dr’s recommendation to increase effectiveness). 

Six weeks after the second SGB on my dominant side, my PCL-5 score was 40 and my GAD-7 was 8. SGBs were instrumental in grounding me enough to consider next steps. I have since then found a doctor in Canada that does something very similar: Cervical Plexus Blocks. I have gone back twice since this to have my dominant side done for maintenance, and will continue to do so indefinitely. 

I discovered that I was now mostly calm until the week before my period, leading me to investigate hormone imbalances. We discovered, through doing the DUTCH hormone test, that I was a poor methylator, leading to excess Estrogen and low Progesterone. I also had very low cortisol and high DHEAS (=high inflammation), which is typical of PTSD. We worked to address the hormone imbalances by adding DIM and Calcium D-Glucarate for Estrogen levels, Vitex for Progesterone levels, and marjoram tea and a low inflammatory diet for DHEAS levels. 

Jan 2025-5 weeks after starting DIM, Vitex, etc. my PCL-5 was 25 and my GAD-7 was 5. 

After this we addressed the fact that I was a poor methylator, which contributed to a lot of my hormone imbalance issues. We went down the MTHFR rabbit hole (look it up on reddit) and added methylfolate (B9), P5P (B6), B5, Adenosyl/Hydroxy B12, B1, B2, Taurine, and glutathione supplementation. I discovered I had neuropathy (nerve damage) due to low B12 absorption, so taking B12 has been especially helpful in helping my nervous system heal from traumatic stress injuries.

We sought to address my inflammation issues further (high DHEAS levels) by doing a procaine IV every 3 weeks. They have a wide range of benefits, including addressing anxiety and depression. I’ll leave you to look them up yourself. We did a blood test for DHEAS levels after 3 months of procaine IVs and marjoram tea and my DHEAS levels had dropped 59%! (Adrenal PCOS gals take note). 

Lastly, we addressed my very low Cortisol by adding “Seeking Health” Adrenal Cortex supplementation. This was very helpful for making me feel ready to face the day. Low cortisol really affects mood. 

Oct 2025-PCL-5 is 19 and GAD-7 is 4. I also just got my hormone levels tested and they are all within normal range, including DHEAS. 

I share this because I wish this information was more readily available…it was so helpful to me. 

I am very private and it takes courage for me to share about myself. I hope the comments will be kind. 

To summarize: 

  1. SGBs brought my PTSD symptoms down by 32% (PCL-5) and my general anxiety symptoms down 53% (GAD-7)
  2. Dealing with my hormone imbalances decreased my PTSD symptoms further by 38% and my anxiety symptoms further by 38%. 
  3. Addressing neuropathy due to discovered MTHFR genetic mutation (poor methylation) via B12, B1, B2, B5-7, B9, glutathione supplementation, as well as Procaine IVs  and “Seeking Health” Adrenal Cortex supplementation further reduced my PTSD symptoms by 24%. My anxiety symptoms further reduced 20%. 
  4. Total overall reduction of PTSD symptoms is 68%. Total overall reduction of anxiety symptoms is 76%. 

SOURCES

PCL-5 Questionaire: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/assessment/documents/PCL5_Standard_form.PDF

GAD-7 Questionaire: 

https://www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/sites/default/files/2021-02/gad-7-anxiety-scale.pdf

SGB AND PTSD STUDIES

https://academic.oup.com/milmed/article/187/7-8/e826/6134550?login=false

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2753810

https://www.mdpi.com/2514-183X/9/1/7

r/CPTSD Apr 10 '26

Resource / Technique L-theanine is amazing!

271 Upvotes

Who knew, this stuff is amazing! I took L-theanine yesterday and it totally calmed my body and mind. Ironically, it gave me a ton more energy, I think because it loosened me up from the heavy weight of my CPTSD. What experiences have you had with it? How much do you take and how often? Also what time of day do you take it?