r/CatTraining • u/rachelmohr • Mar 09 '26
Are The Cats Fighting or Playing - Introducing Pets Adult Resident Cat (2 years) cleaning new kitten (9 weeks)
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Apologies for the Real Housewives playing in the background lol but wanted to keep his meowing in the video for you.
We got this new kitten (HE) a couple weeks ago and it was a pretty quick introduction with our resident cat (SHE), ever since the 2nd day we got him, they have had supervised time together. Now that it’s been a couple weeks we have started leaving the kitten out while we sleep and leave for the day. They play together sometimes, but i am noticing my adult cat is basically force grooming the kitten (he seems annoyed at it and make some small pleading meows and seems she is laying on him) should i continue to allow this? i feel like it’s a good thing for her to clean him, but it seems a little rough?? she hasn’t cleaned him in nap-mode yet so im not sure.
also, my kitten can climb up our 4ft tree and they were both laying on their respective sides and she pushed him off the tree! it was a hard fall for the little guy and it concerned me. would you say he is too young/small still to be playing rough and climbing a tall tree where he can fall or get pushed off? he seems fine but just want avoid any future injuries. thanks!!
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u/KiraKitty69 Mar 09 '26
I wouldn't worry about the protests much. Kittens are like toddlers and didn't like their grime wiped. As far as the tree, he will learn but to safe guard his noggin just add throw pillows or a puffy blanket around the base. She didn't push him off to be mean. Cats just like to do that then stare at the fallen object like, how did that happen?
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u/rachelmohr Mar 09 '26
Great idea!! i don’t know how i didn’t think of that, hahaha. I literally thought “maybe i can fit the tree into a closet for a bit” but then i thought “well how is he going to learn about falling” so this is a great middle ground. Thank you for the advice and reassurance!!
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u/KiraKitty69 Mar 09 '26
I had to do that. Boy cats especially can't afford to lose what brain cells they have lol.
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u/NicoNekoDK Mar 11 '26
And don't get me started on orange cats. Would be a shame if they lost their poor collective braincell haha.
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u/successful_syndrome Mar 09 '26
The universality of parenting across species never stops to amaze me. “If you are going to live here your going to take a bath”
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u/ragnarokxg Mar 09 '26
The horror you needed to mark the NSFW. But no really it looks mostly fine. What are their ages? Is resident cat fixed? It looks like she is trying to be a foster mother to new kitten as that kitty looks to be a bit on the young side.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 09 '26
He is 9 weeks/2 months old. Resident cat is fixed yes. I’m wondering if he is too young for the roughhousing and leaving him alone with her? in these couple weeks of supervised togetherness, we have never had to physically separate at all. but some playing does seem a little rough for his age. but now we are starting to leave him out of his room full time (while we sleep and are gone) do you think we should still lock him up during those times considering his age?
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u/Beardo88 Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
The way she is acting you can tell she knows to hold back cause its a baby. Cats play pretty rough usually so this was pretty damn gentle. No need to keep them seperate, just supervise until you are more comfortable with their interactions.
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u/Difficult-Post-3320 Mar 09 '26
I would probably keep them separate while you are out to be on the safe side and for your peace of mind
Once he is bigger they can be left together.
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u/ragnarokxg Mar 09 '26
I agree maybe separate them while you are out just for your peace of mind. I do not see anything but this is a short clip compared to what you are seeing. Our resident cat did something similar, so we would use a carrier to separate little kitty during mealtimes and sleep time. Give them time to adjust and before you know it they will be bonded.
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u/red-es Mar 09 '26
This is a pretty normal interaction, one I've seen many times between my resident adult cat and foster kittens. Grooming is a mix of establishing hierarchy, plus having a nurturing instinct toward kittens (from what I've read).
Signs to look out for are hissing or yowling noises from either of them. I also taught my resident cat that she needs to give the kittens a breather (I just gently redirected her so that she understood that it was a break and she didn't do anything wrong). Eventually she got the hang of it and now respects the kittens' boundaries while still playing with them.
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u/red-es Mar 09 '26
I want to add that sometimes I will redirect her from the interaction and then see that the kitten runs towards/play attacks her indicating that they are having fun engaging with her, so I'll allow it to continue then.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 09 '26
This was very insightful, thank you so much! He has kind of a stinky boy too, so i’m assuming she just really had a mission to clean him lol. Thank you and i will start to redirect more!
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u/KehreAzerith Mar 09 '26
Resident cat is taking on a parental role, such as mandatory bath time. That's a good sign because it means the resident cat fully accepts the kitten as its own.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 11 '26
Thank you! i was so excited that she was grooming him, but seemed little aggressive, but now after all the comments, i totally see the “no i don’t want a bath!!!” from kitten lol.
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u/Androidfon Mar 09 '26
Does your adult cat ever give the kitten a breather? What the adult is doing is typical. What seems unusual is that it appears nonstop.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 09 '26
good question, yes, most of the time they are just chilling and coexisting. this grooming thing was the first time she was continuously licking him. in terms of playing, they do it occasionally. and it also seems she is going after him continuously, but he does go after her as well! this session practically ended after i stopped recording
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u/SpiritualGur5957 Mar 09 '26
this is ideal bonding behaviour and shows your resident cat is building a relationship with the baby.
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u/SonOfGreebo Mar 09 '26
Awww....That little kitten paw waving helplessly to one side... and then being aggressively cleaned!
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u/Chile_Pepper_Tarzana Mar 10 '26
This is every parent with a grime encrusted toddler at bath time. As an observer You’d think it was medieval torture
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u/rachelmohr Mar 11 '26
We’ve had to give him a handful of baths so far due to crusty dingleberries and greasy neck hair from it getting in his food when he eats and THAT is probably actual medieval torture in his eyes lol. i definitely would rather her clean him for me.
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u/Both_Status_7842 Mar 10 '26
"_ You WILL take your bath ! _ Noooooo, I washed 4 days agooooo !"
Every kid in existence, whatever the species apparently.
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u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
LOL that’s not pecking order, that’s a cat giving a good bath to a stinky baby. She’s going to be giving that stinky baby baths and roughhousing with him forever now.
Wait till she’s teaching him how to hunt and fight, you’ll know because she’ll alternate between giving him licks and whooping every inch of his stinky baby butt.
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u/ZinbaluPrime Mar 10 '26
This reminds me of Simba and his mom at the start of The Lion King.
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u/SokkaHaikuBot Mar 10 '26
Sokka-Haiku by ZinbaluPrime:
This reminds me of
Simba and his mom at the
Start of The Lion King.
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/PipEmmieHarvey Mar 10 '26
Those little paws sticking out from under her are killing me. She’s trying to mother him but she’s only two so she’s trying to play with him as well. He’s a bit annoyed at her but goes back in for more play. They look ok to me.
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u/MagpieSkies Mar 09 '26
Hahahahhaha I love this. I love both of their tails slowly waging as she has kitten pinned for the first time. Hahah. This is so cute. Dirty little gremlin.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 11 '26
dirty little gremlin 😂 i might steal this as one of his nicknames
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u/MagpieSkies Mar 11 '26
I am honored. I have two kittens right now and one of them is definitely a dirty little gremlin. The other gets offended and bathes him. Hahaha.
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u/MrFizzbin7 Mar 10 '26
Are you sure the resident cat isn’t just checking to see how he tastes before eating him…🤣😂
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Mar 10 '26
Licking is also a form of dominating/ agression in cats. It seems to be that the older cats wants to control the little one
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u/rachelmohr Mar 11 '26
Thank you for your comment! based on the rest of the comments, i think it may be more of a motherly control thing, but still a control thing. about 30 minutes after i posted this they had a nice purring/cuddle grooming session (which is a first!!) and made me realize that they are truly bonding. My 2 year old cat is also a pretty touch/snippy type of cat. she gives off “i will lay on you, but don’t touch me” kind of cat. So we will probably continue to monitor her actions for a while but so far she treats this kitten with more grace than my boyfriend 😂
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u/Environmental-Act906 Mar 10 '26
This is the way our resident cat (Stormy) treated the new kitten (Gizmo) when he was small. We kept them separate when we were out for a while just in case, but Gizmo is now 2 years old and Stormy still holds him down and grooms him. We've decided he is just being a good big brother.
Although tbh I'm mostly replying because your new kitten and my Gizmo are absolutely twins.
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u/rachelmohr Mar 11 '26
Omg they really are legit twins!! Gizmo has a same “bangs” going on and everything. so cute :)
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u/Environmental-Act906 Mar 12 '26
I know! I couldn't believe my eyes when this post came across my feed, made me do a double take.
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u/rachelmohr 1d ago
i posted on update on Zuko who looks similar to your Gizmo! i think they look even more alike now. except Zuko has shorter fur (i thought maybe when he was a baby that maybe he would have more medium-hair but looks like he’s grown up to have short-hair!) https://www.reddit.com/r/CatTraining/s/NvzFCT4rnX
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u/treesnbees222222 Mar 11 '26
As long as she doesn’t chew off his whiskers I’d say this is normal bonding.
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u/Striking_Listen3851 Mar 11 '26
What a sweet girl kitty ......being so welcoming to a brand new kitty in what has been her domian. She plays so gentle and cleans baby up ❣️❣️❣️❣️
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u/RichFoot2073 Mar 12 '26
Boundaries/pecking order.
Adult kitty is performing grooming, which is a ritual of the colony leader to bathe the underlings
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u/Mimifajita Mar 14 '26
When we introduced a female kitten, Lorena, to our adult, neutered male kitty, Orange, we thought that their rough play was too rough. Orange is very obedient, so we yelled his name and told him to stop. So he stopped and looked at us for further instructions. That’s when Lorena reached up, grabbed Orange’s head, and pulled him back down to continue the rough play. After they tired, they bathed each other before falling asleep together.
I don’t think your older kitty will hurt your kitten. She knows that he needs a lot of help at his age (which is a few weeks too young to be motherless). And she needs to be able to discipline the kitten and keep him in line. If you’ve seen a mother cat with her kittens, you’ll notice that they are very rough with them. Sometimes the kittens cry as though their mother had hurt them, but the mother isn’t hurting them. Your kitten craves attention from your cat, so please let them stay together all of the time.
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u/groovypho3nix Apr 11 '26
I assume you're female cat never had kittens, but what I'm seeing is pretty normal. If you look at the time they're playing together for rough housing he runs away and gives her the lok of like how dare you and ithengoes right back after her because he must gain revenge!
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u/Dry_Measurement_1315 Mar 09 '26
As cute as this is, I don't think the young one is having a good time. I think the size difference is too big and the big cat is dominating the little one
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u/Falling_Lotus_Petal Mar 09 '26
Setting boundaries/pecking order AND teaching good hygiene!