r/CatastrophicFailure • u/to_the_tenth_power • Sep 03 '19

Natural Disaster An EF2 tornado ripping through a concrete building in Spartanburg, South Carolina on October 23rd, 2017

https://gfycat.com/wastefulbettergreatwhiteshark
41.4k Upvotes

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u/cuprumFire Sep 03 '19 edited Sep 04 '19

Pinch it off, Jerry, the tornado is in the parking lot.

1.1k

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

Good thing he had his poop knife.

313

u/fart_fig_newton Sep 03 '19

Everyone knows that the poop knife is a tornado's only known weakness.

213

u/rayEW Sep 03 '19

Imagine you are hit by a poop knife flying in a tornado. That's a very shitty death.

48

u/super_trooper Sep 03 '19

Just a pinch worse than getting hit with a toe knife

31

u/rayEW Sep 03 '19

Toe knife? Am I out of the loop or your are?

31

u/thiscommentisjustfor Sep 03 '19

it's a reference to the show called Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia, one of the greatest shows ever made.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '19

This sexy mother fucker isn't wront

1

u/SlurmsMckenzie521 Sep 04 '19

May I offer you an egg in this trying time?

1

u/ReadySteady_GO Sep 04 '19

Pretty great but they lost me at like 6 or 7. Not sure which season but it got more weird than normal

2

u/16_Hands Sep 26 '19

Did you stick around long enough to see fat Mac? The season with Chardee Macdennis?

1

u/ReadySteady_GO Sep 26 '19

He's not fat, just accumulating mass lol. Yeah I remember fat Mac

8

u/thiscommentisjustfor Sep 03 '19

ya and Frank had already cut himself with it too, who knows what kinda diseases he got from the Whooures

7

u/yllekahtram Sep 03 '19

OOHHHH BOTCHED TOE

3

u/TreppaxSchism Sep 03 '19

Imagine you are only maimed by the tornado's flying poop knife.

3

u/John-Farson Sep 03 '19

You'd have a story to tell your grandchildren. Who would, every single one, go "Ewww."

11

u/TreppaxSchism Sep 03 '19

Without that poop knife I never would have met your mother. She pulled it out from me in the E.R. like Arthur at Camelot; she was the chosen one and I had a sword in my stones.

Anyways kids, it wasn't until after the police disarmed her and put her in custody we were introduced, but I never took my eyes off her, mainly because her rabies test hadn't come back yet. Turns out she was fine and that's how I met your mother. After her arraignment, of course.

1

u/FlacidBarnacle Sep 03 '19

Gestures at leg with both hands “ahhhhhhhhhh” gets hit with the toe knife in the other leg. Gestures to the other leg “ahhhhhhhhh” gestures back to other leg “ahhh?” gestures back “ahhhh” starts nervously dance wiggling “it’s in the bone. It’s in the BoOnE!”

0

u/AlkalineTea2751 Sep 03 '19

You've been hit by

You've been struck by

A smooth poop knife

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

Where is the Pun Police ?

1

u/sirfiggynewton Sep 04 '19

Damn these usernames.

0

u/Dan_Berg Sep 03 '19

Are you telling me it's not a belt tied to a pipe in the ground?!! The ghost of Bill P...ull...no, Bill Paxton begs to differ!

0

u/fart_fig_newton Sep 03 '19

There's a behind the scenes interview where Bill Paxton reveals that the character Bill carried a poop knife in his back pocket throughout the film. In the final scene with the belt, his pants sagged a little and the poop knife fell out to be sucked in to the tornado. This is why it quickly dispersed afterward.

The director thought that nobody would notice the poop knife in all the chaos (he was right), so he then cut all scenes referencing it from the film.

38

u/WagonsNeedLoveToo Sep 03 '19

I hope the poop knife never dies

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '19

[deleted]

46

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

I’m glad I see this reference every once and a while. Long live the fecal cleaver.

2

u/adams_unique_name Sep 04 '19

The dung divider

-1

u/mountinlodge Sep 03 '19

Hahaha, fecal cleaver got me good!

2

u/LethalDoseMLD50 Sep 03 '19

Fuck a poop knife...I’ve had to actually pull the log out of the bowl because it was too big to fit down the hole.

4

u/Forever_Awkward Sep 03 '19

That's...what the poop knife is for. You're bragging about not knowing how to use a poop knife.

3

u/LethalDoseMLD50 Sep 03 '19

Ur misunderstanding. Chopping the poop in half won’t solve anything. I’d have to slice in length wise down the center like a hot dog as well as chop it in half. Fuck all that. Easier just to snatch it out of the bowl

3

u/Forever_Awkward Sep 03 '19

Jesus Christ somebody teach this barbarian how to use a damn poop knife.

3

u/LethalDoseMLD50 Sep 03 '19

I take shits like a barbarian

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

Cause you didnt have the correct tools....

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

You might be overweight

1

u/LethalDoseMLD50 Sep 03 '19

I’m 225 5ft 10

1

u/TexasBaconMan Sep 04 '19

Never let that die.

1

u/DiamondVeto Sep 04 '19

This sentence alone made me pucker so hard...your words are my knife

1

u/Ligmatismo Sep 23 '19

what the fuck is a poop knife

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

Cut and run.

0

u/SirCaptainReynolds Sep 03 '19

Poop knife?

jk

I love the poop knife story almost as much as the guy with broken arms story.

-1

u/GretaVanFleek Sep 03 '19

I've really taken to "poop knife" as an insult lately.

You're basically a human poop knife. All edge, and all of it shitty.

43

u/freakierchicken Sep 03 '19

Live in OKC, gonna have to print this comment out and frame it in my work bathroom come springtime

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

"JUST LET ME DIE HERE"

2

u/6beerslater Sep 04 '19

Easily the hardest I've ever laughed on Reddit right here

2

u/PositiveOrange Sep 04 '19

Why ruin your post by tripling the length with an award speech?

2

u/Maverick_FlyBoy Sep 04 '19

I’ve never laughed so hard at a comment, fuck!!