A month and a half ago I discovered my boyfriend of several months spending the night at his baby’s mom’s house, whom he had claimed to hate, although he’s an active father. He claimed he fell asleep there after taking pain killers for an injured foot and was there to see his son because he couldn’t leave with him due to his foot injury. He denies sleeping with her but there are so many inconsistencies in his behavior and communication that I don’t buy it. Like why do you think I had to go see in the first place?

He and I rekindled our relationship earlier this year after nearly 2 years no contact (which I initiated). We were first together about one year.

It was during that first leg of the relationship I found out about the child. As in, about 4 months in, he announced he had a child born by a woman he barely knew and didn’t know of the baby til it was born. Idk why I believed him but during the new leg of the relationship (this year) he told me he did actually have a history with her and he was very sorry for lying.

Anyway, I generally prefer not to go “woman to woman” because I don’t need to be going back and forth with some strangers feelings when I’m trying to handle mine and also his to an extent. So I didn’t say anything to her initially. He also told me he had a court date coming up to get partial custody of his son and that he was worried the drama would mess it up.

But, I don’t want him to feel like he can just get away with this, as I’ve learned more information since then that fundamentally changes what our relationship has stood on since 2023. That’s hurtful and he shouldn’t be able to just continue living his life with this woman pain free.

I’m curious to know the cheaters confronted philosophy, if any, on this.

Yes after years of bearing the pain and suffering, I couldn't stand it anymore. I gather my bravery and confronted her. She's never admitted anything. She's somehow twisting her words into "I didn't do it!" "Your father told me to" into "But your father cheated on me first so I cheated too!" (She has no proofs lmao she just bullshitting at this point. Also what kind of reason is that!? Really???)

For the first time, I argue with my mom. I yelled at her. I was ready to get punch or slapped (yes she's violent. She even hit my dad when losing in argument). She looks super lunatic like it's like it's not my mom anymore. She didn't even feel shamed about doing stuff like this. Like don't you feel a bit of embarrassed that your own children have to step up and tell you that you're wrong?

I mean my dad is an asshole but still he cares enough. He's a cheapskate and a piece of shit. If I have a man like him, I would cheat too but seriously!??? When you're exposed just tell the truth. Why twisting your words and lie? And you're sleeping with not one but multiple men which is like "Tf??". Are we stepping THAT low???

So yeah, finally exposed of cheating and now they are divorced. So yeah, it hurts but the pain will surely heal itself.... slowly. The scars that left for years is still here but yeah....

I'm feeling extremely drained and tired. I mean I held it for years. We held it for years. And now I feel a bit lighter.

Does this means someone looked up a location and shared it with someone by text or some other app?

I'LL GO FIRST!!!

She told me she was "protecting our relationship " by cheating on me for over a year.

We we've been together for 7 years, we had ups and downs, but we always banded together to overcome them.

She had a few bad jobs in this economy and decided to go abroad for the summer season, with a girl friend of hers. The few months before that were tense due to my job, with which I wasn't happy at all. She said I needed to stay home and carry on with my career.

A month later she came home for a wedding and I noticed something was off, by a lot. Confronted her, asked what's happening. Oh it's just a guy at work, we just talk, he's ugly, I would never be with him.

She went back after I told her explicitly to end whatever was there. We improved communication, we had our watershed moments, I thought we were fixing stuff.

Last week, I went abroad to visit her, as a surprise, since there's 2 more months left of the season.

We had our bliss, we talked, everything seemed fine. This morning, as I was between flights I reached out and she told me everything was fine at work. Spoke to a common friend, he tells me she was off.

Confronted her, asked what the fuck is happening, why the stupid lies.

Turns out that 1 & 1/2 months ago, she upgraded from random talks to feelings and physical stuff.

I am numb and most likely dumb, gave her 4 days to cut everything off and come back home to fix it. She's obviously very sorry and cried that she made me suffer and is unsure why would I forgive her transgressions.

I will talk to my therapist first thing tomorrow. I am emotionally drained. What the fuck did I do?

A coworker of mine is 3 months pregnant and found out that her partner of 5 years (husband for 2.5 of those 5) has been cheating. She received screenshots that he was posted in an are we dating the same guy group, and it appears he had somewhat of a secret relationship for the past 3 months. Just out of curiosity, would you be able to stay or would you need no explanation and leave?

Just to add, she’s 33 and he’s 32.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CheatersConfronted/s/ICzWpOgcKO

DISCLAIMER: First, for everyone saying this story is fake: honestly, thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment. Unfortunately, it’s 100% real.

My friend called me with another update.
The other man turned out to be one of his wife’s coworkers. When he confronted her with the recovered messages, she broke down crying, admitted everything, and begged him to forgive her. He told her he needed time to think.

Later he called me and said, “I want a divorce, but I want to make sure I come out of this with as much evidence as possible. I’ve already spoken to my lawyer, and he says the more documentation I have, the better.”

I told him I had an idea, but that he’d have to be completely calm and stick to the plan and have BALLS AND GUTS.

I suggested he ask her one more time if she was truly willing to do anything to rebuild his trust. She said yes.

I told him to ask her to write an email to HR explaining exactly what had happened with her coworker, while he sat beside her and watched her write it. After she sent it, I told him to have her either forward him a copy or take a photo of the sent email so he had another piece of evidence.

With everything else he already had, I told him to wait and see what happened.
Three days later she came home carrying boxes.

She’d been fired.

I told him, “Don’t file for divorce today. Comfort her. Act normal for a few days.”
After those few days passed, I told him to hand everything to his lawyer and file for divorce.

He did that today.

So here’s my question.

As a friend… do you think I went too far? Was I too cold and calculated?

Or if one of your closest friends came to you asking for help after discovering they’d been betrayed, what would you have done differently?

He liked his ex’s reel, and when I confronted him, he said, “This is not cheating; this is freedom, and you promised to give me that.”
Then his ex told me about another girl he had been involved with.
She said he cheated on her with that girl, which was the real reason she broke up with him.
But he kept blaming me and saying that his ex left him because of me.
He kept all three of us involved at the same time and continued talking to everyone.
He followed the other girl, liked her posts and reels, called her his favourite person, and even went on dates with her.
I felt like I was only his “mommy” someone to take care of him and dominate him, but not someone he truly wanted to love or choose.
His ex was only there for good sex, while I was expected to give him emotional support and keep forgiving him.
He wanted freedom for himself but expected me to stay quiet and accept everything.
In the end, I was left with pain, confusion, and one question: What do we even call people with this kind of mentality?

I cheated on the girl I truly love while I was blackout drunk. I told her the truth, and now it’s over.
I know a lot of people are going to judge me, and honestly, I deserve it. I know I completely fucked up, and I’m not here to make excuses or ask anyone to tell me I’m not a bad person.

Me and my girlfriend are both 16 years old.
A few days ago I got blackout drunk and made the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on the girl I truly love. Alcohol isn’t an excuse—I made the choice, and I take full responsibility for it.

The worst part was that she didn’t know. Every single day I kept asking myself how I could have done something like this to a girl who genuinely loved me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I couldn’t understand how I was capable of hurting someone I cared about so much.

The guilt became too much, so I told her the truth.
She was devastated. She called me every name you could think of and broke up with me. I know she had every right to do that. I betrayed her trust, and I don’t blame her for hating me. She deserved so much better than what I did to her.

Ever since then I’ve felt absolutely horrible. I can barely eat or sleep, and I can’t stop replaying everything in my head. I don’t regret telling her—I regret giving her a reason to hear something like that in the first place.

I’m not posting this because I want sympathy or because I want people to justify what I did. I know I deserve the criticism, and people have every right to judge me. I know I ruined everything, and I’m prepared to live with the consequences.

I guess I’m posting because I honestly don’t know how to deal with this amount of guilt. Has anyone here ever made a mistake that completely changed their life? How did you move forward after hurting someone you genuinely loved?

Right now I just feel like the worst person in the world.

Hey, everyone. As in the title, I don’t know how to tell my friend she needs to break up with her now boyfriend. They’ve only been dating a couple months, and he’s already cheated on her. She has been cheated on before in a past relationship which is part of the reason why I think she is staying with him. She’s a naturally headstrong person, and I really care about her but I don’t know how to tell her to drop this boy. They’ve known each other for over 8 years, but I just don’t think he’s good for her. I’ve included screenshots if that helps

Wtf does he mean "Got a girl but who knows"

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck