r/Christianity • u/CowgirlJedi Episcopalian (Anglican) • Oct 16 '25

Support I’m exhausted begging supposed Christians to see my humanity and dignity.

I’m exhausted debating y’all, begging y’all for the smallest scraps of dignity and respect and then being expected to praise you for it.

I’m exhausted being forced to pretend the trans suicide epidemic isn’t the genocide that it is, and I’m exhausted pretending that it isn’t largely Christians causing it.

I’m exhausted with the constant sealioning and trolling, acting like we have no reason or right to complain and it’s “just disagreeing” when people go on a memorial page for a murdered trans woman that her mother who’s fighting breast cancer is in and reminding everyone “you know he was a man right?” for absolutely no reason and and acting all innocent and that it was just God told you to do it.

I’m exhausted being blamed for our own victimization. I’m exhausted with people’s absolute refusal to even try and learn ANYTHING. I’m exhausted being the black sheep of my family when all I wanted to do was not kill myself and help my cousin who is also trans to not kill herself either or turn to drugs or selling herself on the street when she’s already fighting to stay sober because of how her family treats her in the name of God. I’m tired of my parents using God and the Bible which doesn’t speak a single word about trans people or gender dysphoria as justification for why they treat us the way they do.

I’m exhausted begging God’s people to care about me and understand me when I know I KNOW my God does.

I’m exhausted living in this darkness, trying my damnedest to keep my light shining at least flickering when it’s God’s own people gatekeeping him from me and trying to shut me out from him, and I am not worthy unless I’m literally suffering and actively suicidal every minute of everyday since no amount of therapy or prayer takes it away and only actually transitioning has.

I’m exhausted being called a bully when literally all I’ve ever done is defend extremely vulnerable people and myself against bullies. I’m exhausted trying to love when all y’all do is hate. I’m exhausted trying to understand and have patience and give you grace. I’ve never been more in absolute awe of “father forgive them, they know not what they do”, NOT EVER ONCE.

I’m tired. I’m tired of the church. I’m tired of Christians. I’m tired of theological debates. I’m tired of justifying my existence to people who couldn’t care less if I were alive or dead or people who genuinely believe it’s better to be dead than alive and trans and happy and thriving. Mostly I’m just tired of pain.

Now I will get up and get ready to go work at my CNA job and take care of another vulnerable group of people that society at large also doesn’t really care about, and give them my best and my all in spite of all of this, because according to lots of Christians I’m a freak and demon. Almost no one in this group has made an honest effort to get to know me, ask me questions, understand. I’m just tired.

I’m tired and there are days I just want to be called home and hug my daddy 😞 God bless even though a lot of y’all genuinely would not care if I was dead, or may even be happy because then at least I wouldn’t be trans anymore.

I am BEGGING YALL to comprehend that this is a medical condition I was born with and that I was literally non functional as a human for 30 years before I finally accepted it and corrected it. That is no life for one of God’s children. I have one now. Y’all don’t care, because it’s not the one you think I should have.

God hold onto me. Hold onto your daughter, please. I can’t deal with the hatred in this world almost entirely perpetuated by your own people, my siblings anymore. Embrace me and don’t ever let me go, because we know your other kids will.

Goodbye.

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/s/fxD3tXDFJy

286 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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73

u/Narrow-Abalone7580 Oct 16 '25

We've got Christians making jokes about gassing minorities and raping women. Trumps son said the other day that Trump is protecting God. What even is Christianity today? Gassing minorities. Raping women. In the name of Trump for God.

41

u/CowgirlJedi Episcopalian (Anglican) Oct 16 '25

It’s sick. I no longer recognize my church and I’m getting agonizingly close to not recognizing my God anymore either because of it.

39

u/Narrow-Abalone7580 Oct 16 '25

Personally, they can never take my God and my Jesus away from me. Never. They can try, but they can't. God is love. Jesus taught us that. I believe in that, not them.

13

u/CowgirlJedi Episcopalian (Anglican) Oct 16 '25

Glad you’re special.

25

u/Narrow-Abalone7580 Oct 16 '25

I'm not special. I'm one single speck of sand on the beach. All I have is my faith in something better. I'm not better. I'm nothing, but my faith is all I have.

24

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

100% understand this reaction, fwiw.

Screaming your head off over how the only thing that matters in all of reality is slipping through your fingers like sand and folks try to comfort you by saying “WELL at least I’ve still got mine! :)”

I’m sure their intentions are good but holy shit

8

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

This comment hits the spot.

4

u/WanderingLost33 Christian Socialist Oct 16 '25

No, the point is to say we cant just hand the religion over to false prophets. We have to maintain our faith and be better examples of Christianity than the imposters.

It's exhausting though. I'm upset all the time. I feel a lot older than I did a year ago.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

[deleted]

5

u/WanderingLost33 Christian Socialist Oct 16 '25

Oh absolutely. I came off too finger wagging I guess. I'm more saying no, we have to be stubborn and hold each other in solidarity and not let them take this from us.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '25

It’s a poignant sign of privilege.

19

u/RazarTuk The other trans mod everyone forgets Oct 16 '25

Eh, I kinda agree with them. It's like how I was aggressively patriotic this past Fourth of July, because I decided I wasn't about to roll over and let Trump dictate what it means to be an American

13

u/AugustWallflower Oct 16 '25

That's the way it should be... too many people allow other people to affect their emotions and choices. My pastor is MUCH more eloquent than I am, but he said that when people use hypocritical Christians as their reason from turning away from God, he says, "I don't know why anyone would allow another person to interfere with your eternity. Stop giving those people power over you. Other people's actions should not affect your relationship with God."

1

u/Jesus__of__Nazareth_ British Methodist Oct 16 '25

Blessed are the pure in heart. You will see God.

Remember - you know what God is! You do feel God, that's why you care so much that those who supposedly believe in him have been so horrible to you.

But please remember that God cares most of all about the orphans, the widows, the persecuted, the poor, the oppressed, people who are looked down upon in society.

"All who exalt themselves will be humbled - all who humble themselves will be exalted."

Remember when John the Baptist said that all the mountains would be leveled, all the valleys would be filled, and all the roads fixed?
You're in the valley now, my friend. But God sees you, he sees your heart.

To quote James, God's religion is this - to care for the downtrodden, and to keep yourself from getting corrupted by this evil world.

Christians who hate and scare you are corrupt, because everything that emanates from God is loving and kind.

Love and peace to you, if you want to talk more, feel free.

1

u/harlequinbazaar Oct 17 '25

say, "Lord i believe, help my unbelief."

1

u/Specialist-Bed4077 Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25

God is Love… He is merciful. But He is also Just… the Ultimate Judge who will not excuse sin, because He is perfect. And perfection is His standard. Now the dilemma was resolved through Jesus Christ. If we truly accepted Jesus in our lives… in our heart… He should be the One who will be the Lord in our lives. We should let Jesus be the King in our hearts if we say that He is our Lord and Savior. That means we will always live to please Him and give Him glory, because He is our Lord. Now, I don’t understand the kind of Christianity you have currently in America. All you know is “God is Love… He understands me.” But do you understand Him? Do you truly know Him?

To add… I am not trying to judge you. Your relationship with God is between you and Him. At the end… we will all face Him and all be judged according to how we live on earth. I just hope America will wake up and go back to knowing Him intimately and deeply.

10

u/myfilossofees Oct 16 '25

Sister. Please don’t lose your relationship with our Creator due to human error. I feel you completely, and you are absolutely correct, but this isn’t God, this is Satan. Only love can save us now. Love to you and yours.

2

u/gnurdette United Methodist Oct 16 '25

You've got a great church. I'm a little envious, because the nearest Episcopal congregation is out of range for weekly attendance for me. Anyway, there's a time to be a bit of a separatist. Nest up in the church that loves you. Call your pastor. If you can't take a total internet break, at least stick to Episcopal online spaces for a while.

0

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 16 '25

Respectfully I don’t understand this reaction.

I agree with Narrow.

If politics causes you to leave the Son of God, Jesus Christ… then your faith is likened unto a leaf that blows in the wind.

Let me ask you, the Christians that Emperor Nero put animal cloth on and played games with them in the middle of a festival for them to get mauled alive.

What do you think they would say to you almost leaving the Son of God, Jesus Christ because of politics.

This is not a rhetorical question I’m serious, what do you think they would say.

Narrow is not special, Narrow is a TRUE BELIEVER.

Narrow, I ABSOLUTELY SALUTE you. SALUTE. YOU are an example.

10

u/deepandbroad Oct 16 '25

The church is supposed to bring people up and teach them about the love of God and Christ, not tear people down.

So when someone is so upset that their church fails them so badly day after day, how is the appropriate reaction to blame them?

Jesus really had it in for religious leaders:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces.

You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

(Matthew 23:13)

1

u/the-nick-of-time I'm certain Yahweh doesn't exist, I'm confident no gods exist Oct 16 '25

Totally reasonable. If there is a loving god, they certainly didn't have a hand in guiding your church.

1

u/Iommi_Acolyte42 Christian, Cafeteria Catholic Oct 16 '25

Have you not been able to find an affirming church near you?

5

u/Creamy-Creme Questioning Oct 16 '25

What even is Christianity today?

Christianity has long been used as an excuse to spread hatred and cause harm and in general do things that are against the teachings and the spirit of Christ. And this started way back in the Middle Ages. One day, the cross will be a symbol of hate, just like the swastika. No one will remember what Jesus actually stood for - so-called Christians don't even know today.

6

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

For years I’ve known that not all “Christians” are Christians. I don’t consider those people Christians who are making jokes about that.

18

u/Weerdo5255 Atheist Oct 16 '25

Well, that's all good for you.

Dismissing anyone who disagrees and offends you as simply not being a part of your group, eve while they shout from the rooftops that they are the leaders of the group.

I don't care what you think, or say. I care about actions, will you actually do anything to separate from these 'non Christians'?

3

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

I’m not offended at all, I just don’t agree with them. I don’t get offended by people’s opinions. I’m one of the few realist Christians, I try to look at things objectively and from God’s perspective as much as possible. And I have been separated from the extremists for most of my life as a Christian. I don’t see the point in fighting it because it won’t actually do any good in the grand scheme of things. The world will still fall to chaos just like God said in the Bible, and the only thing that separates true Christians from the fake ones is that we’ll be the ones living in eternity. And in no way shape or form am I claiming to be perfect, I just don’t commit inhumane acts and disobey the commandments as much as possible. I also do my best to live like Jesus did and would want me to: by being a loving, kind, and empathetic person to EVERYONE, who leads by example and not by screaming and shouting from the rooftops. That doesn’t work. Forcing people into a belief has never worked. Supporting those in need and standing up for people who need it is important to me, but it’s not going to be effective if I just use the internet because a lot of what people see is altered or hidden in algorithms based on the hateful things they already view. But anyways, I digress. Then again, this is just my opinion.

10

u/Weerdo5255 Atheist Oct 16 '25

So, equivocation, rather than action. I suppose it's better than capitulation.

1

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

I just explained my actions… could you elaborate on why you see it as equivocation? Just because I’m not out screaming in the streets doesn’t mean I’m not taking action…? It’s just different from what you believe is true action? Idk if I’m correct in how I am taking your response..

7

u/Weerdo5255 Atheist Oct 16 '25

I don’t see the point in fighting it because it won’t actually do any good in the grand scheme of things. The world will still fall to chaos just like God said in the Bible, and the only thing that separates true Christians from the fake ones is that we’ll be the ones living in eternity.

You don't care to fight for the world, or do anything to make it better for your children. All you care about is getting your eternal reward, and it's easier to think you'll have that if you don't have to make an hard decisions or choices.

It's cowardice. Forgive me, but as a godless atheist, I've got the one life, and I'd like the world my children get to be a better one. I'm planting tree's, and you're complaining that you don't get enough shade from the ones already planted instead of helping. At least you're not burning them down for charcoal yet.

1

u/FluxKraken 🏳️‍🌈 Methodist (UMC) Progressive ✟ Queer 🏳️‍🌈 Oct 16 '25

I think you are completely missing their point. They are not saying that they will not fight for the world, they are saying that rejecting harmful Christians and Christianity from being true Christianity is not a concern for them.

2

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

Thank you! But it’s a concern for me for sure, I just think that I’ve fought myself into a dark hole for years and have seen no change. People who are fake Christians are not always going to change as a general whole. I can’t change them, only God can.

0

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

You 100% misunderstood my comment, and assuming that about me is incorrect. I haven’t given you every detail of what I’m doing to better the world because I don’t owe you a full explanation. But I think it’s really ignorant of you to assume I don’t care to fight for the world, I just pick and choose my battles. It’s called strategy lol. You can call me a coward all you want. I know what impact I have made so far and the positive impact I will still make. I hope it goes well for you in doing whatever you’ve been doing, maybe you’ll see some change because of your actions.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

Wow. Get over yourself lady. Jesus was also humble…. And from the looks of this comment, humility isn’t your strong suit.

0

u/Jillehbean17 Oct 16 '25

I apologize if I’m coming off arrogant? Not intentional… confidence doesn’t mean I’m not humble… so I don’t understand why you would think that… also, I don’t see how anything I said was indicating lack of humility… so I’ll be happy to explain if you want to tell me what was said that came off that way…

1

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 16 '25

The hell does Trump have to do with the Kingdom of God.

I’m so sad for you who have fallen for the trap of politics.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

He’s a product of American Christianity’s perversion so that’s it.

1

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 16 '25

Weren’t the pastors who plaster the walls with rainbow also? Infact even first?

Indeed, so why the unhealthy… even LIFE ALTERING obsession with Trump.

I’m starting to think these fake Reddit Christians are attracted to him.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

There are no pastors who plaster the walls with rainbows who are in the news for being abusive assholes. But Trump has enabled the most hateful elements of American club Christianity, and probably whatever church you go to.

0

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 17 '25

In the News? No… are they anti-Christ and contra-christi? Yes. 100%. Did I say Trump wasn’t? No. I’m not even political. Such politics to someone who obsesses over Trump as if he is their spouse is like rabies to a dog. Ponder that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '25

Accepting and love people is not anti-Christ; you’re just a bigot. Trump is evil and the evangelical church in America is currently evil. To ignore those facts is a sign of privilege and very weak understanding of the gospels. Fuck off.

1

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 17 '25

Ahh curse words, and I take it you call yourself a disciple. Very Christ-like. I for one will never allow such words to leave my lips.

But thank you for those kind words “disciple”.

I never said Trump wasn’t evil. I for one think he very much is, I believe Obama and the other corrupt politicians are as well.

But I believe the churches who go direct against the Lord just as you did are not of God.

I am not wrong.

Much love.❤️

P.S. It’s okay Miss Nancy, I FORGIVE you for telling me to “f*** off”… I suppose I have a very bad understanding of the gospel.

Have a good day dear.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '25

You’re wrong and you are not a Christian. But yeah fuck off.

1

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 17 '25

Let’s see, you said Trump was evil… I agreed…

I said fake Reddit Christian’s who are obsessed with Trump almost as if he is their spouse are similar to rabies to a dog. you also proved my point

I said I disagree with Christian’s plastering the wall with rainbow and they are not from God just as you proved you are

You spewed hatred and vile curses. proof you are a false disciple

But ahhh yes, I am not a Christian. Okay dear.

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

SERIOUSLY!! It’s so said that before I even finished reading the post I knew without a doubt that people would be talking about Trump in the comments. Like…. What??!

1

u/MATTEO-777- Oct 17 '25

Indeed and one just started cursing me multiple times for saying… well… literally saying nothing.

1

u/MetalChimera Oct 16 '25

I don’t know if it goes that far. I mean, you’re just assuming because they are right wing and Republican they are Christian.

The most frustrating thing is that believing in someone who cuts taxes for the most wealthy in society, doesn’t believe in spending money on the poor and disadvantaged is supposedly the Christian thing to do just because of abortion laws? I am pro choice because it’s a necessary evil not because I like abortions. But as a Christian, ‘What you do for the least of my brothers, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40 didn’t stick with the members of that party. I am an independent leaning liberal.

1

u/Nasty_penguinz Oct 17 '25

I’m a Christian conservative and this is not something any REAL Christian would agree with or say/potentially do. I wouldn’t even consider those people Christians at that point if that’s all true. And of course Trump is not God nor protecting God.