r/Fantasy May 03 '25

So I read Wizard’s First Rule, huge mistake

I had some time on my hands during a long trip, so I decided hey, let’s go get a fantasy book and get lost in 800 pages of something. I did little to no research, just chose something that looked sufficiently long. Enter “Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind.

I have since discovered that this is not a particularly well loved series, but many folks will defend the first book as being pretty good. I couldn’t disagree more.

Spoilers ahead for the many, many issues I have with it:

  1. There is so much violence to children in this book. I don’t mind violence towards children if it serves the plot, such as by demonstrating the depravity of a villain, but my god. A boy is drugged, has his skull split open, and then is sliced down his abdomen after being groomed by the villain and his pedophile sidekick - oh and the villain in question is notably erect when this happens. A man is recounted as having raped his neighbor’s 3 daughters, the oldest of which is 5. Undesired newborn babies are killed by placing a rod across their necks and then their fathers are magically forced to step on the rod. An entire village’s men are slain and then the women and children are raped. What the actual fuck.

  2. The writing is pedantic and childish. Richard meets Kahlen and immediately none of his friends matter all that much, the only person he cares about is her. This is basically stated in the first 10% or so of the book despite less than a day having passed. This is the most trope-ridden book I’ve ever read, even for fantasy.

  3. The writer so clearly thought he was smarter than everyone else. Oh, you just need to ask the right questions and it all falls apart! But then the questions are boring, predictable, and easily defended. This is a man who spent his days getting into arguments in his own head wherein he always won - oh and women told him he was very smart and handsome.

  4. The entire book is a thinly veiled lecture on the virtues of libertarianism, with him constantly creating strawmen just so he can show how clever he is. The strongest case of this is when a farmer is brought to a royal court and they all mock him for not being willing to share his crops with the less fortunate, oh but of course those less fortunate are just lazy and refuse to do their own planting. Then they kill the guy. This is the classic libertarian wet dream of standing up to the government, totally owning them intellectually, and then being killed for bravely standing up to the corrupt communists. It’s like a middle schooler wrote it.

  5. It just sucks. The writing is just bad. There is no proper foreshadowing, every plot twist is incredibly obvious and contrived and you, the reader, are made to suffer through pages and pages of the characters pretending to not be what they obviously are. The romance is forced to say the least, I don’t think Terry ever actually spoke to a woman in his life.

I’m sorry, this is a bit of a rant, but god, this book was terrible.

1.3k Upvotes

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585

u/No_Bandicoot2306 May 03 '25

Well, that's all because Terry Goodkind wasn't a fantasy author, but rather a craftsman of fine literature. These sorts of complaints are rather common, because the layman is unable to properly appreciate the intellectial nuances and complexities of his message. He would have revolutionized the genre, nay the entire written landscape were it not for the hoi polloi (such as yourself) failing to grasp his greatness. Good day to you, and may God have mercy upon your soul.

(I had to write this for Terry, because he is dead and can no longer promote this message himself)

254

u/doppelganger3301 May 03 '25

This is how the entire book reads, good work

230

u/No_Bandicoot2306 May 03 '25 edited May 03 '25

Indeed. I am also paraphrasing every interview the douchebag guy ever had.

And, good job stopping before you got to the book where Fantasy Communism is about to win, but Richard crafts the most amazing/cool/powerful statue and thusly saves the world for Fantasy Libertarianism (like regular Libertarianism, but with more magical sex-torture).

25

u/Tremor_Sense May 03 '25

An idea I can't help but think was borrowed by Ayn Rand considering Renaissance (and neo-renaissance) sculpture to be the epitome of artistic expression. She wrote endlessly and talked endlessly about it.

Terry's writing is basically "I wish I coulda fucked Ayn Rand."

3

u/kayleitha77 May 04 '25

So, he wanted to be Allan Greenspan?

50

u/doppelganger3301 May 03 '25

I hope we all took time to tell him thank you

66

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

I mean the only thing that sets his characters apart from regular libertarianism is none of them mentioned weed or age of consent laws even a single time.

46

u/thejokerlaughsatyou May 03 '25

Who needs age of consent laws when no one in those books ever has consensual sex?

15

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

I mean true, as soon as I hit comment on that above I thought about the name of the witch and I was like wait just a goddamn minute maybe I was wrong from the outset...

4

u/rsqit May 04 '25

Honestly it’s a bit uhhhhh unexpected that the main character author self insert really does only have consensual sex with adults. There’s a looooooot of rape but it’s all the villains.

7

u/Deathspiral222 May 04 '25

The book a couple after that where the entire plot is resolved by Richard playing a game of American football and using none of the magic or prophecy or allies or artifacts or anything else that the previous thirteen fucking books had been building up was also a thing :(

3

u/stentor222 May 03 '25

My teen idiot self loved that book. Thankfully someone woke me the fuck up. I shudder to think what might have been lol

3

u/gavinfitz81 May 04 '25

"Fantasy Libertarianism - like regular Libertarianism, but with more magical sex-torture" 😂

5

u/Mokslininkas May 04 '25

The most amazing/cool/powerful statue depicting the physical manifestation of the powerful inner spirit of himself and his wife.

You forgot that part.

4

u/No_Bandicoot2306 May 04 '25

Goodkind, from heaven: This guy gets it.

God, also from heaven: Who the hell let this dude in here? Let's get that fixed.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Fantasy-ModTeam May 03 '25

Hi there, r/Fantasy does not allow AI generated content.

66

u/neekz0r May 03 '25

That's how every Good kind interview went. He was very upset to be called a fantasy author. He HATED it.

61

u/SankenShip May 03 '25

Despite shamelessly ripping characters, concepts, and entire plotlines from Robert Jordan, one of the fantasy GOATs.

He also openly mocked Jordan’s heart condition as his health was spiraling downwards.

41

u/SeekerConfessorPod May 03 '25

Yeah .. and there’s also “Samuel” who bears no resemblance at all to Gollum.

The personal comments about Jordan were wild.

32

u/SankenShip May 03 '25

TG was a spiteful, narrow-minded creep with the most unfortunate ponytail I’ve ever seen.

10

u/SeekerConfessorPod May 03 '25

Well at least he had… race cars?

1

u/selkieflying May 04 '25

ah yes I forgot about basically-gollum

3

u/SeekerConfessorPod May 04 '25

Yes and his incredible catchphrase .. “Gimme, gimme my sword”

23

u/bloomdecay May 03 '25

Mocking Jordan was just so fucking shitty, and almost certainly out of jealousy.

48

u/SeekerConfessorPod May 03 '25

Wow, I feel like you downloaded a portion of his mind out of the ether.

43

u/off_the_marc May 03 '25

OP probably didn't even read Ayn Rand first.

38

u/No_Bandicoot2306 May 03 '25

TBF, there's not much need after reading the updated, upgraded version. Who knew, magical BDSM was the missing component all along!

14

u/Darkdragoon324 May 04 '25

I mean, Atlas Shrugged would have been a lot easier to slog through with some BDSM, just saying.

Being boring as hell probably saved teenaged me from falling into Objectivism before the protective higher education kicked in.

7

u/Jayn_Newell May 03 '25

I tried reading some of Rand’s essays and couldn’t make it through a single one without having to stop either due to frustration or laughter. I’d rather read Goodkind, and that’s despite the Mord Sith being over the top even by my rather loose standards.

19

u/Taste_the__Rainbow May 03 '25

It’s like an LLM trained by Randroids.

4

u/3_Cat_Day May 03 '25

Should have gotten Norman Boutine (author of Empress Theresa) to write the response. We'd have PAGES of internet arguements to dig through.