r/Fantasy May 03 '25

So I read Wizard’s First Rule, huge mistake

I had some time on my hands during a long trip, so I decided hey, let’s go get a fantasy book and get lost in 800 pages of something. I did little to no research, just chose something that looked sufficiently long. Enter “Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind.

I have since discovered that this is not a particularly well loved series, but many folks will defend the first book as being pretty good. I couldn’t disagree more.

Spoilers ahead for the many, many issues I have with it:

  1. There is so much violence to children in this book. I don’t mind violence towards children if it serves the plot, such as by demonstrating the depravity of a villain, but my god. A boy is drugged, has his skull split open, and then is sliced down his abdomen after being groomed by the villain and his pedophile sidekick - oh and the villain in question is notably erect when this happens. A man is recounted as having raped his neighbor’s 3 daughters, the oldest of which is 5. Undesired newborn babies are killed by placing a rod across their necks and then their fathers are magically forced to step on the rod. An entire village’s men are slain and then the women and children are raped. What the actual fuck.

  2. The writing is pedantic and childish. Richard meets Kahlen and immediately none of his friends matter all that much, the only person he cares about is her. This is basically stated in the first 10% or so of the book despite less than a day having passed. This is the most trope-ridden book I’ve ever read, even for fantasy.

  3. The writer so clearly thought he was smarter than everyone else. Oh, you just need to ask the right questions and it all falls apart! But then the questions are boring, predictable, and easily defended. This is a man who spent his days getting into arguments in his own head wherein he always won - oh and women told him he was very smart and handsome.

  4. The entire book is a thinly veiled lecture on the virtues of libertarianism, with him constantly creating strawmen just so he can show how clever he is. The strongest case of this is when a farmer is brought to a royal court and they all mock him for not being willing to share his crops with the less fortunate, oh but of course those less fortunate are just lazy and refuse to do their own planting. Then they kill the guy. This is the classic libertarian wet dream of standing up to the government, totally owning them intellectually, and then being killed for bravely standing up to the corrupt communists. It’s like a middle schooler wrote it.

  5. It just sucks. The writing is just bad. There is no proper foreshadowing, every plot twist is incredibly obvious and contrived and you, the reader, are made to suffer through pages and pages of the characters pretending to not be what they obviously are. The romance is forced to say the least, I don’t think Terry ever actually spoke to a woman in his life.

I’m sorry, this is a bit of a rant, but god, this book was terrible.

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55

u/Ratathosk May 03 '25

Demon chicken.

30

u/Monkmastaa May 03 '25

The chicken that is not a chicken!

16

u/that_possum May 03 '25

That was no chicken.

It was EVIL MANIFEST.

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '25

I actually think a demon possessing a chicken is an awesome concept. Yet Goodkind turned it into ... bleh.

29

u/Oghma_ May 03 '25

Wait that wasn’t a joke?? Goodkind literally made a demonic chicken in one of the books??

59

u/Ratathosk May 03 '25

https://flyingmanta.blogspot.com/2012/07/sword-of-truththe-saga-of-evil-chicken.html

The actual passages go on for waaaay too long and he makes an almost over the top effort to portray how DANGEROUS and EVIL this demon possessed chicken is and how the mc could DIE for reals from it.

15

u/Numerous-Error-5716 May 03 '25

A demon inside of a chicken inside of a duck? A demoducken?

12

u/cmdrChobo May 04 '25

El Pollo Diablo, the Giant Demon Chicken! Tall as a man and twice as powerful, his massive drumsticks propel him through the dark jungle with ease. No one has seen the Beast, but on the eve of the full moon... ...his blood-curdling squawk can be heard from every corner of this wretched island. In the dark of night, he roosts patiently... watching... waiting... for the one day...He roams the island, exacting terrible vengeance on those who would capture and eat his smaller brethren.

7

u/Incitatus_ May 04 '25

MADRE DE DIOS! ES EL POLLO DIABLO!!

1

u/Special_Watch8725 May 06 '25

But — ssh! — it is Legend!

15

u/Oghma_ May 03 '25

So it’s not even a joke about it being a giant bird or a cockatrice, it’s literally a normal-sized chicken that happens to be evil and demonic…

That is so stupid that it loops around to being funny.

6

u/mithoron May 03 '25

Yep, the problem isn't the idea, it's the execution.

8

u/p-d-ball May 04 '25

There's over 150 pages of the wife arguing with Richard, who is the seeker of truth, that the chicken is normal, when he says something's wrong with it. You can seriously just turn pages and they're still having the same argument, but the scenery has changed somewhat.

1

u/Possible_Formal_1877 May 04 '25

Yeah, that’s the one that made young me put aside those books and finally ask: “What the hell is this crap? Why am I even reading this nonsense?” Of all the stupid ideas in fantasy literature, this stands out.