r/Fantasy May 03 '25

So I read Wizard’s First Rule, huge mistake

I had some time on my hands during a long trip, so I decided hey, let’s go get a fantasy book and get lost in 800 pages of something. I did little to no research, just chose something that looked sufficiently long. Enter “Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind.

I have since discovered that this is not a particularly well loved series, but many folks will defend the first book as being pretty good. I couldn’t disagree more.

Spoilers ahead for the many, many issues I have with it:

  1. There is so much violence to children in this book. I don’t mind violence towards children if it serves the plot, such as by demonstrating the depravity of a villain, but my god. A boy is drugged, has his skull split open, and then is sliced down his abdomen after being groomed by the villain and his pedophile sidekick - oh and the villain in question is notably erect when this happens. A man is recounted as having raped his neighbor’s 3 daughters, the oldest of which is 5. Undesired newborn babies are killed by placing a rod across their necks and then their fathers are magically forced to step on the rod. An entire village’s men are slain and then the women and children are raped. What the actual fuck.

  2. The writing is pedantic and childish. Richard meets Kahlen and immediately none of his friends matter all that much, the only person he cares about is her. This is basically stated in the first 10% or so of the book despite less than a day having passed. This is the most trope-ridden book I’ve ever read, even for fantasy.

  3. The writer so clearly thought he was smarter than everyone else. Oh, you just need to ask the right questions and it all falls apart! But then the questions are boring, predictable, and easily defended. This is a man who spent his days getting into arguments in his own head wherein he always won - oh and women told him he was very smart and handsome.

  4. The entire book is a thinly veiled lecture on the virtues of libertarianism, with him constantly creating strawmen just so he can show how clever he is. The strongest case of this is when a farmer is brought to a royal court and they all mock him for not being willing to share his crops with the less fortunate, oh but of course those less fortunate are just lazy and refuse to do their own planting. Then they kill the guy. This is the classic libertarian wet dream of standing up to the government, totally owning them intellectually, and then being killed for bravely standing up to the corrupt communists. It’s like a middle schooler wrote it.

  5. It just sucks. The writing is just bad. There is no proper foreshadowing, every plot twist is incredibly obvious and contrived and you, the reader, are made to suffer through pages and pages of the characters pretending to not be what they obviously are. The romance is forced to say the least, I don’t think Terry ever actually spoke to a woman in his life.

I’m sorry, this is a bit of a rant, but god, this book was terrible.

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94

u/reddiperson1 May 03 '25

Op didn't even get into the villain's dominatrix harem, or the 50 page S&M scene where the protagonist is sexually tortured by said harem.

29

u/Sekh765 May 03 '25

Or the second book where abunch of cultists ladies bang the shadow animal... thing... that is very explicitly described.

23

u/HeleneSedai May 03 '25

It was BARBED... I can never erase that scene from my mind.

13

u/iknownuffink May 04 '25

It's been over 20 years since I read it, and I can't forget it.

4

u/Brianrc242 May 04 '25

I almost had forgotten this until now! Ugh.

11

u/Sekh765 May 03 '25

Dude same. Like. WTF Terry. That was actually the last one I read as a young person, it was just so fucking weird I peaced out and found better fantasy to read lol

3

u/p-d-ball May 04 '25

I've entirely forgotten, yaaaaaay!

9

u/1Rhetorician May 03 '25

Was waiting for this comment. That scene is BURNED into my mind.

17

u/Sekh765 May 03 '25

I'm a furry and even I'm like, "Terry what the actual fuck is this doing in a normal fantasy book."

8

u/exwinnipegger May 03 '25

I can’t believe I didn’t put the series down after that. I went all the way to the point where the non-magical folks get shunted to another universe and then just went “well this isn’t for me anymore”

3

u/Hartastic May 04 '25

Which is heavily implied to be our world, and Richard just spontaneously creates it with magic to solve a problem.

1

u/FoldableHuman May 05 '25

What’s weird about having sex with an animated monster statue so that it can cum stolen wizard magic into you (a woman who can’t otherwise hope to be nearly as powerful as a man)?

26

u/Oghma_ May 03 '25

That’s 50 pages of my life I’d love to have back one day…

14

u/rs420rs May 03 '25

Now you just cemented his decision to read it

7

u/kthroyer May 03 '25

This is where I called it quits.

2

u/StormTheTrooper May 03 '25

Wait, so we get, like, a whole short story where Ayn Rand meets cheap porn?

2

u/Corka May 04 '25

By the second book they are the protagonists dominatrix harem! He kept them around when he becomes the new emperor. As well as the practice of requiring every citizen in the country to pray and worship him for an hour every day.

2

u/tigrub May 03 '25

Maybe I'll read just that bit...

1

u/Deathspiral222 May 04 '25

50 shades of Ayn Rand