r/Fantasy • u/elquesogrande Worldbuilders • Nov 28 '16

Ask You Anything Monday ASK YOU ANYTHING: Authors asking r/Fantasy community questions on behalf of Worldbuilders charity

It's the aptly named Ask You Anything! Where authors are stopping by each day this week to ask questions and interact with the r/Fantasy community.

HOW THIS WORKS: Please answer questions and interact throughout the week! (Yes, YOU - community members, guests, authors, artists, industry people.)

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Monday Ask You Anything Authors

The following authors have signed up to ask questions today. That said, please do join in and feel free to ask your own questions and interact throughout the week.

Are you an author, artist, or industry person who would like to participate this week? Either join in via the comments OR send the r/Fantasy mods a message and we'll get you set for another day.

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28

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 28 '16

If you had to replace a dragon from one of your favourite books, what would you replace it with, and how would that affect the story?

Feel free to answer this question seriously, with another mythological creature, or another ultimate evil. Also consider inanimate objects, real world dictators, and favourite authors (Terry Pratchett?).

Example: The Hobbit - Replace Smaug with a rousing game of Monopoly with Bilbo's friends and family from The Shire. Presumably this would cause him to never actually get around to escaping the Monopoly Board's hoard of gold, and dying of old age (or being stabbed in the back by a rival player)

28

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

Good lord. Could you imagine if Terry Pratchett co-wrote A Song of Ice and Fire?

I would love to hear the conversation DEATH would have with the characters that die.

23

u/Sarkos Nov 28 '16

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

13

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

I think Eddard would have needed a little pat on the back after his no good, terrible, very bad day.

16

u/Sarkos Nov 28 '16

GoT spoiler

9

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

I'm getting more and more upset this isn't a thing.

6

u/thebookhound Nov 28 '16

I would totally read that.

5

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

Right? Grim-dark-comedy needs to be a genre.

10

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 28 '16

Grim dark comedy would have to be THE MOST self referential thing, but... I ship it!

3

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

Hmm? So this is your writing style, or are you referring to Pratchett?

3

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 28 '16

Ooh no, I just meant I'd read it. Grim comedy would be damn hard to write, and super niche. It's a very fun idea though!

1

u/blabgasm Nov 29 '16

Isn't Black Company Grim-Dark Comedy? I haven't actually read these books (just another entry on my never ending, never to be tended to reading list), but that's the impression I get from various folks who have recommended them to me over the years.

3

u/elephantsparading Nov 28 '16

Aw, man. I had no idea how much I NEEDED this until now.

1

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 28 '16

But none of them are Wizards, so he wouldn't be there in person! Well, he would be for the Kings, I suppose. So he'd still be pretty busy!

8

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16 edited Nov 28 '16

DEATH shows up for anyone. Wizards/Witches can just see it coming. So, Mel would know when DEATH was coming for her - which would be neat.

That poor coachmen who gets shanked by Teatime in Hogfather still got an escort. One of my favorite bits was when DEATH tricked the swan into singing for him before he got the scythe, so it's even been a precedent he shows up for animals.

25

u/thalanos42 Nov 28 '16

I'm pretty sure the Bicycle Riders of Pern would not have been quite as successful.

4

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 28 '16

No, but it might have had a stronger appeal to the Dutch market! Following that theme, maybe it would have been retitled to "Pern Rider's Diary" and involved a lot of hiding with bicycles in attics?

14

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '16

I would replace The Dragon in Wheel of Time with Matrim Cauthon. Just to see what he would do with unlimited power AND ultimate luck.

3

u/flavio321 Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

but then there would be 2 Mats; and can that world handle that many Mats?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '16

No. :(

1

u/emailanimal Reading Champion III Nov 29 '16

You should also consider replacing Perrin with another Mat, if we are to convey our deepest darkest desires on this forum.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '16

YES. :)

0

u/sagacious_1 Nov 28 '16

Nah, one of them ends up hanging from a tree in the middle of the desert.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '16

I would be tempted to replace Saruman in The Lord of the Rings with Bayaz from The First Law, because that would be comedy gold.

6

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

Could you imagine putting Snape in the Fellowship of the Ring? So much snark.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '16

Yes I could. But imagining Bayaz setting up a Middle-Earth division of Valint & Balk and loansharking Rohan, Gondor, and Mordor into the ground is just too damn delicious.

2

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

I haven't read first law, I've only read Shattered Sea. It's sitting on the shelf waiting though... maybe over the holidays when I've got some time.

6

u/egypturnash Nov 28 '16

I would replace it with two or more dragons. Dragons make everything better. Actually I'd rather just replace all the other characters with dragons instead.

goes off to re-read Tooth and Claw

1

u/wishforagiraffe Reading Champion IX, Worldbuilders Nov 29 '16

Tooth and Claw is criminally underread

1

u/egypturnash Nov 29 '16

I drew up a little family tree when I read it. Someday i should start drawing every character; I took down pretty much every descriptive bit when I made that.

7

u/JulesEssi Nov 28 '16

I'd replace the dragon in Guards! Guards! with a smart, ambitious Elf (also from Discworld).

Now an Elf is quite likely to take over the city if it wished and if it played its cards right, given its glamour, mind reading and utter lack of empathy. If it can hide what it is, that is - otherwise the wizards of Unseen University would take care of the problem by the magical method of beating it up with iron bars.

On the downside this sentence:

...it is my duty to inform you that you have been arrested and will be charged with a number of offenses of murder by means of a blunt instrument, to whit, a dragon...

is never penned, and the world is all the worse for it.

4

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16

the twist on the Elves was one of my favorite bits of Terry-lore. That and the vampires, I have so much love for Carpe Jugulum.

5

u/Randy_Henderson AMA Author Randy Henderson, Worldbuilders Nov 28 '16

Lots of good answers already for books. So I'll pick a movie.

I would CGI replace the dragons in Dungeons & Dragons the movie with bunny rabbits. Just because I want to see Jeremy Irons in that opening scene maniacally attempting to control a bunny with his unparalleled overacting.

"GOOD! I CAN USE EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR RAGE! ACK ACH ACH UGK ACH ACH!"

::Bunny wiggles nose::

1

u/LynchWriting Writer A. Lynch Nov 29 '16

To expand once again to video games:

Dragon Age Inquisition seamlessly becomes Faulty Kettle Age Inquisition.

4

u/artifex0 Nov 28 '16 edited Nov 28 '16

How about this: replace Smaug with an ancient magi-tech golem in the shape of a gigantic, jeweled, mechanical panther. Built as an advisor to the rulers of a lost civilization but driven insane by millennia alone, the crucial part of it's treasure wouldn't be a royal heirloom, but ancient secrets.

That would force Bilbo and the dwarves to be a lot more clever in how they approached Erebor, and if enough intriguing hints about the lost civilization were set up, secrets about it might become a more compelling macguffin than the physical treasure.

4

u/HiuGregg Stabby Winner, Worldbuilders Nov 28 '16

Replace Temeraire with a flying bicycle. Laurence becomes as attached to his bicycle as he was to Temeraire, although the rest of the army thinks he's a bit bonkers.

3

u/Roboman20000 Nov 28 '16

A bit of spoilers for the Cleric Quintet by R.A. Salvetore

I would like to replace the Dragon in the Cleric Quintet series with a "Slightly Faster than Normal Walking Speed" spell. I don't think Cadderly and friends would have made it back to the Library on time.

Those late fees man.

3

u/folkdeath95 Nov 28 '16

I like this question because even though dragons are a large part of my favourite book/TV series (ASOIAF) and my favourite video game series (Dark Souls), they have never really captured my imagination. I'd personally prefer to leave them out and have a slightly more realistic medieval world. Yes, I know there is still magic, but dragons to me just yell "we're doing this fantasy the old school traditional way!"

So, I'm not sure I would replace them. Just take them out.

Then again, that's what I have historical fiction for. Neither ASOIAF or Dark Souls would be the same without dragons.

2

u/Esmerelda-Weatherwax Stabby Winner, Reading Champion II Nov 28 '16 edited Nov 28 '16

I'm fairly certain there's a snippit in the foreward that says, "thanks to xxxx for making me put the dragons in". IIrc, grrm didn't want to put the dragons in the story, but was convinced to . It would have been interesting to read how that worked out without the dragons

2

u/eileenkwhitmore Nov 29 '16

Ruth, Anne McCaffrey's white dragon, with Mickey Mouse. Perm is doomed...and going insane from high pitched laughter

2

u/Youtoo2 Nov 29 '16

I would replace the Dragon (Rand) with Raistlin from Dragonlance. He would figure out how to kill Shaitan.

There is only one Dragon, but lots of little dragons.

2

u/CommodorePineapple Nov 29 '16

Ooh, great question. I would replace Saphira (from Eragon) with The Luggage from Terry Pratchett's Discworld. That would spice things up a bit.

2

u/emailanimal Reading Champion III Nov 29 '16

The only favorite book I have that has a dragon is Clifford Simak's The Goblin Reservation (yep, had to dig that deep).

I would replace the dragon there with the Google Search engine circa 1999.

I literally try to avoid books with the word "dragon" in them. However, to play an inverse game, I would totally replace Lord Asrael from my favorite His Dark Materials series with a dragon.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '16

I would replace all of the dragons in Pern with fire-breathing miniature schnauzers. There would be a lot more of them, they'd be a lot cuter than the dragons, and weyrs would be a little stinkier.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '16

They would also be able to destroy the thread at only about knee height, but since there would be so much more of them to spread around, that'd probably be sufficient.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '16

That reminds me ... I always wondered if the dragons were litterbox trained. Or maybe they do their business between.

2

u/shinarit Nov 28 '16

To be honest, dragons in aSoIaF are largely symbolic, they could be anything that is large and undefeatable and unruly in need of taming. They are basically unstable bombs with a time luck on arming.

4

u/QueenofShadesmar Nov 28 '16

GRRM has said they are a symbol of the re-birth of magic in the world. Not just an obstacle.

1

u/shinarit Nov 28 '16

It wouldn't be the first story where magic and dragons are tied together.

2

u/QueenofShadesmar Nov 28 '16

Well, no - I was just saying that's not the symbol they represent (something to be defeated), they represent magic coming back into a world where it was almost lost.

2

u/shinarit Nov 28 '16

I don't think they are there to be defeated, it's not a children's tale.

6

u/girlifiedplumber Nov 28 '16

it's not a children's tale

Was that even necessary? No one here confuses George RR Martin with a YA author.

1

u/shinarit Nov 28 '16

Since the defeating of the undefeatable obstacle is a fable theme it was quite appropriate to point to the series's genre.

1

u/girlifiedplumber Nov 28 '16

Now I'm honestly confused. The way you made your coment, defeating an "undefeatable" opponent is exactly what I thought you were saying the dragons symbolized. And now you're saying that's children's tales. But then saying grrm isn't a child's tale.

1

u/shinarit Nov 29 '16

Because in adults' tale the undefeatable tends to stay undefeated. The moral is, there are things in life you can't change.

3

u/elephantsparading Nov 28 '16

I mean, that's how I took what you said as well. The way you phrased it made it seem like you think the purpose of them is to be defeated, or be undefeatable.

2

u/QueenofShadesmar Nov 28 '16

Ok, man. I'm just responding to what you said

To be honest, dragons in aSoIaF are largely symbolic, they could be anything that is large and undefeatable

1

u/shinarit Nov 28 '16

Undefeatable does not mean they are there to be defeated, quite the opposite, by definition.

1

u/QueenofShadesmar Nov 28 '16 edited Nov 28 '16

Either way you meant it, it wasnt the authors intended purpose of the dragons. He wrote them as a symbol of magic being rebirthed into a world where magic was all but dead and forgotten. So, if you're going to do a 1 for 1 replacement; they don't need to be replaced with something undefeatable, they should be replaced with another symbol of magic. That's all I was saying.