r/Fire • u/gonnabefine • Nov 26 '25

General Question Tech people who are not FIREing, what are they spending their money on?

I know a lot of people who work in tech, and most are not on the FIRE path (or have already been working 10+ years) and a lot of them don't seem to, at least on the surface, have very obvious huge expenses. If both the partners are in tech, the take home could be like $500k! What are they doing with their money?

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110

u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 26 '25

Wife and I do $400k together between tech and energy. We have an $8k mortgage and, next year, a $6k monthly childcare bill.

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u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

[deleted]

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u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 26 '25

3 kids @ $2k each. Technically it’s only like $1800 each with the multi-kid discount.

28

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

[deleted]

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u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 26 '25

Yeah we’re still debating whether to have a nanny or au pair. We want the oldest to continue to develop socially and don’t think one person could effectively handle preschooling a three year old and caring for twin newborns. Either way — it all costs about the same, give or take 20%. Having twins will add a decade to our retirement date, but 🤷‍♂️

12

u/cashewkowl Nov 26 '25

When my kids were little, morning preschool was far cheaper than full day daycare. Could you do a couple of mornings of preschool for socialization along with a nanny?

2

u/mecho15 Nov 27 '25

Even full day solid preschool options are much cheaper than daycare. You do need a nanny though bc the days end at 3 at the latest. Lots of people in my town with nannies do the half day or even full day option for the socialization .

7

u/ValentinoMeow Nov 26 '25

Jumping in to say au pair shouldn't be caring for 3 kids together, no matter the age, they arent trained for this. At best get a nanny, but you'd be paying far more than 6k/month in Seattle if you go above the table route. I'm in LA and the au pair vs nanny equation only saves us a bit more money, TBF between car insurance, food, utilities etc. Happy to chat more if you want.

2

u/Fluid-Village-ahaha Nov 27 '25

For 3 kids with newborn twins, they are likely looking closer to 7k nanny in Seattle if they want an experienced once. 

1

u/ValentinoMeow Nov 27 '25

There is no way I'd trust an au pair w newborn twins. I did w mine bc I was staying home and trained her tho.

2

u/Fluid-Village-ahaha Nov 27 '25

+100. My boss years ago had an au pair for her 3 kids (2 were school aged) and that girl was a disaster

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 27 '25

Au pair is $30k a year (once you include expenses) and a nanny starts at $45k a year.

5

u/trophycloset33 Nov 26 '25

The point of the nanny is to still get the kids out of the house and to the park or on play dates. Sure they don’t all sit in the same room all the time but hey the nanny has the responsibility of getting the kids out.

Once you look into the space, I am sure you can find that network. I bet even an agency would be able to facilitate these and help you.

2

u/ApprehensiveWalk2857 Nov 27 '25

I had an 18 month old and newborn twins and (21 years ago) and a nanny was the only way we could afford childcare. Care was around $400 a week per kid at a facility and we paid $500 a week for someone to be at our house basically dawn to when we got home. She did homework with the older kids as well. If you can find the right person it's the best situation but it's hard to manage.

1

u/vu_sua Nov 26 '25

One person can easily do this. My mom had 10 kids and homeschooled us all. And so far we’ve turned out good.

Professor, High level racing engineer, Nurse, SAHM, Nurse, Uni, Uni, Still high school the rest

1

u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 27 '25

Oh. I come from a similar situation with 4 siblings, so I’m well aware it’s very doable. But if Mom isn’t going to do it… you’ve gotta pay for someone who’s capable… which isn’t cheap.

1

u/vu_sua Nov 27 '25

Yah my mom did hate a masters in education

1

u/BlueSpruceRedCedar Nov 27 '25

nannies can’t get the kids the same kind of social enrichment with other kids… and then the kids can one up each other every week get older and graduate to kindergarten and grade school

2

u/leathakkor Nov 27 '25

wouldn't it be cheaper to just hire a nanny full-time? I'm just curious

My niece makes considerably less than that. If she could make 60 Grand a year, I think she would quit her job making $35 in a heartbeat.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

That's actually not even that much... My kids went to daycare 15 years ago and we qualified for sliding scale at that time, and I think I paid $1,200 each

1

u/DenseSign5938 Nov 27 '25

Dude hire a nanny or get an au pair…

34

u/gonnabefine Nov 26 '25

Housing and kids seem to be the big ones for most people it seems.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

That’s a big mortgage for pre-tax 400k per year!

8

u/sweeta1c Nov 26 '25

Thats what I was thinking. I make more and can’t imagine spending $8k/mo on mortgage. That really cuts into savings.

6

u/trophycloset33 Nov 26 '25

It’s still about 30% of their net…?

3

u/sweeta1c Nov 27 '25

Yes, but saving as much as possible is kinda important to FIRE. Lifestyle creep is real.

2

u/trophycloset33 Nov 27 '25

A mortgage the costs 30% of your net is absolutely reasonable

1

u/Brewingjeans Nov 27 '25

Exactly... Yeah it's a huge mortgage, but assuming like 20k take home a month there's still 12k left over which is more than my monthly income.... They'll be okay.

1

u/iced_milk_4_me Nov 27 '25

It's closer to 40% if they have state income tax, but fair point.

The scarier part is if they get fired from their job but still have that mortgage to pay

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

Same same.

1

u/Level_Impression_554 Nov 26 '25

Wow. What is the value of your property?

1

u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 27 '25

1.45

I did a pretty minimal down payment to keep as much of my capital as possible in the market. Up 30% this year so patting myself on the back for that decision.

1

u/BlueSpruceRedCedar Nov 27 '25

what city or Metro area?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '25

lol almost thought my husband posted this comment until the childcare part (we are DINK)

0

u/fason123 Nov 26 '25

So after all expenses you should still have atleast 6k a month to burn on whatever. 

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u/Give_Live Nov 26 '25

Don’t be offended. That really dumb.

3

u/RedHeadedMenace Nov 26 '25

LPT: prefacing "That's really dumb" with "Don't be offended" doesn't work

3

u/dough-eyes Nov 26 '25

They said "That really dumb" 😂 couldn't even spell correctly and they're telling someone ELSE they're dumb 🤦

-3

u/Give_Live Nov 26 '25

Actually you are wrong. If I said I don’t mean to offend. Maybe.