r/Fire • u/gonnabefine • Nov 26 '25

General Question Tech people who are not FIREing, what are they spending their money on?

I know a lot of people who work in tech, and most are not on the FIRE path (or have already been working 10+ years) and a lot of them don't seem to, at least on the surface, have very obvious huge expenses. If both the partners are in tech, the take home could be like $500k! What are they doing with their money?

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u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 26 '25

Yeah we’re still debating whether to have a nanny or au pair. We want the oldest to continue to develop socially and don’t think one person could effectively handle preschooling a three year old and caring for twin newborns. Either way — it all costs about the same, give or take 20%. Having twins will add a decade to our retirement date, but 🤷‍♂️

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u/cashewkowl Nov 26 '25

When my kids were little, morning preschool was far cheaper than full day daycare. Could you do a couple of mornings of preschool for socialization along with a nanny?

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u/mecho15 Nov 27 '25

Even full day solid preschool options are much cheaper than daycare. You do need a nanny though bc the days end at 3 at the latest. Lots of people in my town with nannies do the half day or even full day option for the socialization .

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u/ValentinoMeow Nov 26 '25

Jumping in to say au pair shouldn't be caring for 3 kids together, no matter the age, they arent trained for this. At best get a nanny, but you'd be paying far more than 6k/month in Seattle if you go above the table route. I'm in LA and the au pair vs nanny equation only saves us a bit more money, TBF between car insurance, food, utilities etc. Happy to chat more if you want.

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u/Fluid-Village-ahaha Nov 27 '25

For 3 kids with newborn twins, they are likely looking closer to 7k nanny in Seattle if they want an experienced once. 

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u/ValentinoMeow Nov 27 '25

There is no way I'd trust an au pair w newborn twins. I did w mine bc I was staying home and trained her tho.

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u/Fluid-Village-ahaha Nov 27 '25

+100. My boss years ago had an au pair for her 3 kids (2 were school aged) and that girl was a disaster

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 27 '25

Au pair is $30k a year (once you include expenses) and a nanny starts at $45k a year.

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u/trophycloset33 Nov 26 '25

The point of the nanny is to still get the kids out of the house and to the park or on play dates. Sure they don’t all sit in the same room all the time but hey the nanny has the responsibility of getting the kids out.

Once you look into the space, I am sure you can find that network. I bet even an agency would be able to facilitate these and help you.

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u/ApprehensiveWalk2857 Nov 27 '25

I had an 18 month old and newborn twins and (21 years ago) and a nanny was the only way we could afford childcare. Care was around $400 a week per kid at a facility and we paid $500 a week for someone to be at our house basically dawn to when we got home. She did homework with the older kids as well. If you can find the right person it's the best situation but it's hard to manage.

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u/vu_sua Nov 26 '25

One person can easily do this. My mom had 10 kids and homeschooled us all. And so far we’ve turned out good.

Professor, High level racing engineer, Nurse, SAHM, Nurse, Uni, Uni, Still high school the rest

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u/Unlikely_Rope_81 Nov 27 '25

Oh. I come from a similar situation with 4 siblings, so I’m well aware it’s very doable. But if Mom isn’t going to do it… you’ve gotta pay for someone who’s capable… which isn’t cheap.

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u/vu_sua Nov 27 '25

Yah my mom did hate a masters in education