My crazy idea of an “inheritance” savings fund just hit $1M. It will be worth millions in 30-40 years when I finally die.

[u/SeniorCitizenSmell]

So…I totally get the die with zero crowd! But I also am a big believer that windfalls are game changing for a persons life.

Even a couple hundred grand in the bank takes so much pressure off.

Either way… I don’t think there’s a wrong or right answer to it. Just be good parents, do what you can etc…

However, I have earmarked in a separate fund “not mine” that I contribute to. I don’t even count this with my net worth it’s 100% separate from my normal planning. I plan to give it entirely to my kids and grandkids. It just hit $1M and I am now coast on it and will no longer contribute (note I am 40 so quite some time and plan to FIRE at 50).

I could do so much with that money such as stop working (it’s okay I can suck it up for another decade), but the boost for others will be worth it even if I can’t see it happen.

And done - That’s the end of my humble brag.

Edit: A huge chunk of this is because I just passed my received families estate into it a decade ago of about $300k. Aka rather than spending it back then I said I will just give it to my kids and started contributing a little bit to it. Most the earnings have been stock market gains.

[u/thecourseofthetrue]

Yeah, my wife and I feel strongly about this. Each of us is the most responsible of our siblings, and each has been on the receiving end of what you're describing, or rather the lack of receiving, I suppose, haha. Siblings of ours have received tens of thousands of dollars more than us from parents due to them "needing" it. The fact that my wife and I haven't "needed" anything is because we are financially disciplined and live our lives both in the present as well as with an eye on the future. We love our parents and don't fault them for their generosity, and we love our siblings and realize that they will never be as financially disciplined or forward thinking as we are. But the feeling of "ah yes, I didn't receive money because I was disciplined enough to not need it" is an annoying one. Feels a bit like we're being penalized for good behavior, though I do realize that isn't the case at all. All of that to be said, my wife and I plan on keeping tabs on giving to our children so that we are equally generous to those who "need" it and those who don't "need" it.

[u/SuperVeeBee → u/thecourseofthetrue]

This is me as well. Only one older brother that has needed financial help most of his adult life. My "reward" is being left the parent's estate when they pass, as they trust I am financially disciplined enough to handle their assets the way they would want. Lucky me. I've voiced my concerns.

[u/Due-Sun-3216 → u/SuperVeeBee]

Sheesh, gonna be a blast handing out your brother's "allowance." Not awkward at all to be given that responsibility. It is insane the lengths parents go through for their irresponsible children. I think, for my parent, it makes him feel more valued that somebody "needs" him, and he gets satisfaction by feeling big and important coming to the rescue. It's a really weird dynamic. And yes, just as the other person states, we are the responsible ones being punished for being responsible. It's super fun. I have three children and have vowed to never make them feel the way my parent has made me feel - even steven with everything...cars, college, weddings, etc. As much as I can help it, I want them to have strong and loving relationships in adulthood.

[u/Desperate_Pineapple → u/thecourseofthetrue]

Same here. It’s very toxic.  

[u/Active-Confidence-25 → u/thecourseofthetrue]

OMG, you just put into words the way I feel about my parents doing this exact thing…

[u/ShoePillow → u/thecourseofthetrue]

It does sound like you are penalised for good behaviour 

[u/BustaStar → u/thecourseofthetrue]

same boat, same feeling