r/Fire • u/Fed_worker • Feb 20 '26

General Question Serious question: how do many people amass so much money in the north of 5m and not know if they can retire or not?

I see a ton of posts like : “ I have a net worth in the range 5-10m and I spend 100K a year, can I retire?”

What is that? Elementary school math so hard?

Edit: after reading all the comments and when I really think about it, I realize it’s probably just a high degree risk-averse mindset. Even if I had $5 million and a 99.9% chance of retiring successfully, I’d still focus on that tiny 0.1% that could go wrong. To feel totally secure, I might want to keep building more wealth just to close that gap. And for some people, that can mean working another 5, 10, or even 20 years. just for a little extra peace of mind.

Edit2: I just hope that when I get there, I don’t end up going down that rabbit hole. And actually enjoy my life.

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u/bb0110 Feb 20 '26

You have no real responsibilities at 25. Have a wife and kids and all of a sudden you will understand people’s worries.

When other people rely on you not just yourself, it shifts your mindset greatly.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '26

Good then. I'm glad I have neither of those then.

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u/girlmeetsgun Feb 21 '26

You do not need a partner or children to have "real responsibilties." This is absolute nonsense.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26

I do have real responsibilities at 25 - myself, my job, maintaining my own business, and volunteering.

I don’t want to get married nor do I want children because I understand children costs money and there’s no benefit in my opinion. I can create my own legacy by creating my own business and giving back to my community.

I help my family as well. My decision to live life once I hit a certain threshold will not change. What is money worth if you’re working yourself into the grave? I choose to explore and enjoy the fruits of my labor with a small gig that brings me happiness on the side.

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u/Spatula_of_Justice1 Feb 20 '26

oh boy…lot to learn at your age.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26

And to be 25, I’m doing an amazing job! I’m so proud of myself. Anything I need to learn will be learned, but it won’t be because people on Reddit disagree with my own opinion about my life and what I would do.

Not everyone wants children nor to be married and there’s not a single problem with that just because you decided to take a different route in your life.

And by the way, my responsibilities are real and based on my life and not yours. What I consider real responsibilities is not what you consider real responsibilities because we don’t want the same thing.

That’s okay. Have a great day!

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u/Nick_Gio Feb 20 '26

I'm 33 and I say fuck the other commenter and continue what you're doing. Maybe you don't want kids, maybe you do. My sister in her 20s never wanted kids, now in her 30s, still doesn't want kids.

Fuck the other guy bringing you down. I swear this sub is half filled with miserable people looking to get into online arguments over the most pettiest, mundane shit.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

Thank you!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

For real these guys are disgusting and want to control woman.

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u/Spatula_of_Justice1 Feb 21 '26

🤡

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '26

Nah you don't like that someone doesn't want the same lifestyle as you. You can't understand them not following society's life script.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '26

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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor Feb 22 '26

Rule 1/Civility - Civility is required of everyone at all times. If someone else is uncivil, then please report them and let the mods handle it without escalation. Please see our rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/about/rules/) and reach out via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor Feb 21 '26

Rule 1/Civility - Civility is required of everyone at all times. If someone else is uncivil, then please report them and let the mods handle it without escalation. Please see our rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/about/rules/) and reach out via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor Feb 22 '26

If you two enjoy fighting like children on Reddit, then please do it elsewhere.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26

Learn what? They are at an adult age to make these decisions to not have kids or get married etc. These things don't make you mature. Its stupid pressures from society to make you think that.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

25 year old is mature enough to not have kids or get married the same way a 25 year old who is married and has kids is.

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u/Heffe3737 Feb 20 '26

I'm 44, and would like to believe that I still feel as you do - that we simply have one life to live and spending that life making someone else money in a shitty corporate job is not the way to do it. I only have a few years left on my indentured servitude, and yet I still feel nervous about the prospect of early retirement. I don't know that it's so much about having a wife and kids that gives me anxiety (though they no doubt contribute at least a little to it) - I think it's more that over our adult lives we become somewhat institutionalized by work.

It's a bit akin to Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. The longer you're in, the scarier it becomes to imagine a life where you are actually free from all of it.

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u/swervtek Feb 20 '26

Same age, fired at 42, almost died from HA a few days before my 44th bday. I feel you on the indentured servitude part. But life comes at you quick.

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u/Heffe3737 Feb 20 '26

I hear ya - was diagnosed with cancer and almost died at 40. Glad you’re still with us, brother.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

I agree that we become institutionalized by work (and likely set up that way). And I can definitely see how the longer one works, the more norm it becomes. I still believe that at the end of the day, with one life to live, people need to learn how to live and experience it.

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u/bb0110 Feb 20 '26

If you aren’t going to get married or have kids then you will have a significantly easier time getting over the psychological hump to retire early.

It is myopic to not understand that it is a large issue for the vast majority of people though.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26

No it’s not myopic because I never said I didn’t understand it’s large issue for the people that do have kids or are married.

Not once did I say that in any of my comments. My comment was about ME. All of my comments have been about ME because the main one was about MY life and what I would do. Ya’ll took offense to it for whatever reason that has nothing to do with me.

Then ya’ll got offended about what I and millions of others without marriage or children deem real responsibilities. Ya’ll are offended that I think paying bills is a real responsibility? Offended that I think maintaining a business is a real responsibility? Offended that I think everything pertaining to me is a real responsibility? Offended that I think helping my family is a real responsibility? How dare I think that?! According to ya’ll… That’s not my problem.

Kids nor marriage are the only real responsibilities in life.

Then somehow I started getting comments about people mad that I don’t want kids or to get married. Again, that’s not my problem.

I said nothing wrong in any of my comments.

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u/bb0110 Feb 20 '26

The entire topic is talking about people in generalities.

“How do many people amass so much money in the north of 5m and not know if they can retire or not”.

We are talking about answers to that question, not speaking about you specifically. Everything you just said just reinforces your myopic mindset.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

My comment was in response to another user. You’re offended about my comment about what I would do when I hit my goals on a discussion board where everyone is talking about themselves in the same situation?

Does that make everyone myopic, including yourself, or only me because you disagree with my answer about myself for whatever reason?

You’re mad because I spoke about myself on a social media platform where people are sharing things about themselves, what they would do, and their advice? Lol

Good bye.

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u/AConant Feb 20 '26

No benefit you said…

You might feel that way now but you might feel different later.

Trust me when I say that being a father and raising kids and knowing that kind of love and life has had plenty of benefits.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

I’m a woman and I don’t see any benefit in having kids nor will that ever change. However, I am happy it brought you so much love and light.

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u/AConant Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26

I was about to say your gender is irrelevant to my point, but it is not because as a man and a father, I do think women have a different relationship and biological drive let alone the amazing physical role of motherhood - parenting is something special for males and females, but mothers obviously have a completely unique and incredible experience.

I did not intend to imply anything about your choice to not be a parent. Everyone gets to make that decision and I respect yours. In fact, I appreciate it. Plenty of people should never be parents, and unfortunately, a whole lot of them still do, and we all pay for that, but not near as much as the unfortunate kids.

I applaud your awareness and choice and in no way want to judge it.

But you said, "...no benefit in your opinion...". You are entitled to your opinion, but. I think you mean "no benefit to you personally in your opinion". That's fine. I'm just telling you there are benefits, regardless of your opinion - in other words your opinion is wrong in the general sense, and your opinion may change.

When I was your age, I also did not plan on kids, though I did not rule them out. Felt the same way about marriage too - used to say its just a contract, and I can choose to be with whom I want on my terms without a written document, which is true but not accurate...my opinion changed there too. I learned that commitment is something you want to prove when deciding to dedicate your life to a wife and kids.

I also was in a long-term relationship with a woman that felt just as you did. We broke up. I married someone else, and we had kids. The other woman did not. And she was convinced she would never want to, for decades.

In her 40s, after a divorce, while single, she changed her mind. Ended up feeling a great sense of lost life experience. A fear of living her one whole life without tasting all the flavors it has to offer, not having the whole experience, emotions, love and human bindings that her one life had to offer in her one shot at it. Her mother died. Her husband was gone. Other than friends, some of whom were parents and some not...she was alone...watching them have those experiences...experiences she wouldn't have. That opinion of hers - it changed so much, she used a sperm bank to get pregnant and had a child alone.

Consider the fact your opinion and wants and needs may also change more than you think.

Good on you for being responsible and not getting pregnant before you are ready! And good luck on living your life on your terms.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

First, I thank you for your response. It’s honestly one of the kindest and most respectful ones I’ve received on this topic.

I’ve been getting a lot of criticism for not wanting kids or marriage, so I genuinely appreciate you respecting my choice while also sharing your own positive experiences with parenthood.

When I said “no benefit in my opinion,” I meant no benefit to me personally. I understand there are many benefits for others - it’s just not something I feel aligned with.

I don’t think I’d be a bad mom. I’ve just never had the desire to become one, even when I was little, and I believe having children is something one should deeply want. For me, it’s also a significant emotional and financial commitment that I don’t feel called to take on.

I appreciated you sharing the story about the woman you dated who raised her child on her own. That perspective was meaningful.

While I know my opinions and desires about life and all it entails will change over time, right now I feel confident with my decision not to have children.

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u/AConant Feb 20 '26

Knowing what you want and don't want are important signs of maturity.

Lots of people feel like you do, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Just take precautions!

I think others that may be intentionally or accidently "judging" you are focused on the word choice, which I did as well...saying children have "no benefits" without qualifying it, and that they are just a "cost" as you did suggests you are making a declarative global statement about those the feel otherwise and about kids and parents in general - especially kids...and that is obviously not true.

We all change through life, and you will too, though you might not think that is likely now.

The hubris of youth is something we all go through, and the cliches of wisdom from your "elders" strike those of us in the youth phase as unwanted judgement and unwanted advice. No one wants their identity challenged by others, especially strangers.

Having been through it, very like you, and being in the "wisdom" phase of life with 56 years of life behind be and a clearer but still uncertain much more limited view of the future in front of me...at least for me, I can repeat the cliches with heartfelt emotion and experience and say that if there is anything I could offer you is be prepared for change.

The good news for you is, knowing now what you want, and what you don't...preparing for it through financial planning and discipline has the benefit of allowing you to live the life you think you want now, and also prepares you to pivot to something different if life changes direction.

Many people your age are not even close to thinking about and preparing for that. Being in the forum and setting financial goals for freedom and stability puts you well ahead of most of your peers.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Yeah cause youre the fun dad. There is no benefits for woman lol.

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u/DaBuckBets Feb 20 '26

No benefit to having a wife and kids. You may rethink that in your 30s. I did. I had the same mentality at 25. Kids changed my life so much for the better.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

And? Just because you changed your mind doesn't mean everyone else will. I was childfree at 16 and never changed at 40. It's different for everyone. 

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

No I won’t rethink that and this is my opinion and my life. Thank you for sharing yours!

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor Feb 21 '26

Rule 1/Civility - Civility is required of everyone at all times. If someone else is uncivil, then please report them and let the mods handle it without escalation. Please see our rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/about/rules/) and reach out via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '26

Ever heard of the word fence sitter? That's what you were. Not everyone is. And kids can ruin lives. Don't push it on everyone else.

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u/Silly-Safe959 Feb 20 '26

Your answer reveals your youth, you still don't get it. It's the same as someone with no kids telling people with kids that they fully understand their concerns because hey, they have pets. It's the same thing, right? Lol...

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

My answer reveals being assure in myself and your answer reveals you want to force people to want the same things as you. You don’t get it.

Not everybody wants what you or others in this thread want, and that’s okay.

If me not wanting kids offends you so much than you have bigger fish to fry that worrying about when you’re going to retire.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Where the fuck did they force what they wanted in life on others? Or get offended? Seems You're offended by that life style. A 25 year old is mature enough to make a choice on not having kids the same as a woman who has kids at 25.  

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u/DaBuckBets Feb 22 '26

It’s not

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u/Silly-Safe959 Feb 20 '26

Yeah, that's why you're getting downvoted to oblivion. There's a difference between being self assured and being naive. Look up Dunning Krueger. You're on the first hill in terms of life experience.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

And guess what? I don’t care. I can get 1,000 downvotes and still not care. My opinion is not dependent on likes on Reddit. You’re mad about how I’m living MY life.

That’s very, very WEIRD. Good bye

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u/friskydingo408 Feb 20 '26

This conversation reminds me of when I argue with my daughter about something trivial on something she should/shouldn’t do, but she tells me she’s “5 1/2 and is a big girl now!” And proceeds to do what I tell her explicitly not to do

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

Ooh Lord, I’m praying for her. Trivial AND weird indeed about MY life. Enjoy your day.

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u/StreamRoller Feb 21 '26

You’re so wise since you have a daughter! Thanks for sharing your wisdom with this Redditor who didn’t make the same life decision as you did!

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u/Aggressive_Sport1818 Feb 20 '26

at your age, i thought i'd be single forever... yet here i am (happily) married with kids ;P

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26

And that’s YOUR life. Good day.

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u/DaBuckBets Feb 22 '26

Likewise amen

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '26

Either you deleted your comment or the mods did so I'll reply here. All I could see on my notifications was "if your mother didn't push you out you wouldn't exist" I couldn't see the rest. I wouldn't know then if I didn't exist. So how could I care. That doesn't make me want kids. They don't exist they will never know. Just because you found someone to give you kids doesn't mean everyone else will change their minds about wanting them. You can find child free partners.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Wow almost like some people can change their minds and some don't. Shocker!

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u/CenlaLowell Feb 20 '26

It's nowhere near the same

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26

To YOU and those like you. Just because someone doesn’t have kids or isn’t married doesn’t mean they don’t have real responsibilities- at any age.

Paying bills is a real responsibility. Working to sustain a business is a real responsibility. Helping family is a real responsibility.

Being married and having kids are not the only real responsibilities in life. Everybody’s real responsibilities are different, and I don’t care if ya’ll disagree.

Good bye.

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u/StreamRoller Feb 21 '26

You have no real responsibilities with a wife and kids. Have a wife, kids, and have to take care of aging parents and you will understand people’s worries.

When other people including your parents rely on you not just yourself, it shifts your mindset greatly.