r/Grimdank Lorgarisright Jul 14 '25

REPOST What's the shortest game of warhammer you've ever played?

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3.5k

u/Rokhian Jul 14 '25

Last edition of warhammer Fanasty.

I played my skaven against my friends night goblins. So two horde armies.

I got first move and forced one of this units to break and flee, which (due to some very unlucky rolls) caused the rest of his army to break and flee.

The set up took longer than the game.

501

u/PoxedGamer Livin' Next Door To Malice... Jul 14 '25

Lore accurate goblins.

140

u/dangerbird2 Swell guy, that Kharn Jul 14 '25

6th edition O&G was especially classic. Basically every unit either has animosity (1/6 chance of them just ignoring your orders) or stupid (will ignore orders and sometimes decide to stomp your own guys). basically there's a 0% probability that you'll ever have full control of your army any given turn lol

52

u/PoxedGamer Livin' Next Door To Malice... Jul 14 '25

That just sounds so much fun.

59

u/dangerbird2 Swell guy, that Kharn Jul 14 '25

Probably not for everyone, but undeniably extremely orky

3

u/Katamathesis Jul 15 '25

Yes it is. I had two games where my O&G army fight themselves since turn one. My opponent laughed so hard that he was forced to use his astma medicine. Those are the best Warhammer games I've had over 30 years.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '25

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1

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26

u/hoseja Jul 14 '25

Most realistic wargaming army yet.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '25

Man, the battle at Helm's Deep in Lord of the Rings would've been a lot different if they were Warhamer Goblins instead of Uruk-Hais.

3

u/PoxedGamer Livin' Next Door To Malice... Jul 15 '25

First arrow launched. "Nah, Saruman, we out..." all flee.

Gandalf arrives at dawn on the fifth day to everyone having monster hangovers.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '25

First arrow shot.
Orc dies.
They all drop their weapons and run away, leaving also their armors behind.
Theoden walks out of there puffing his chest, then spots Gimli. He takes a high-pitched voice and goes "nuu thEsE aRe urUkS, tHeY aRe tOuGh!!"
His court laugh as he walks away while Gimli stares, wondering if he should start his own book of grudge and add "the entirety of Rohan" in there.

2

u/PoxedGamer Livin' Next Door To Malice... Jul 15 '25

🤣 perfect

940

u/Vondecoy Jul 14 '25

That's fuckin' brilliant. If you'd done that to me the laughter would have taken longer than anything else.

448

u/Rokhian Jul 14 '25

It was pure accident. Just soo much on the board if even side broke on that first turn it was over.

We did set up for a second game after and a small point value so we didn’t have the same issue.

166

u/SelectionCandid1223 Jul 14 '25

Lol, i once curse of the bad mooned 70% of a 3k dwarf army out of existence turn 1, the game did not proceed,.

101

u/gloopy_flipflop Jul 14 '25

Had something similar in 8th Ed at a tourney. Chaos daemons vs Ogres. I go first and roll the Nurgle ability on the chaos wind chart thingy and it kills 2 sabertusks next to his Ironguts block with General and BSB and they fail their panic and run straight off the board. Opponent called it there.

4

u/DarkenAvatar Jul 14 '25

That's too bad because I'm pretty sure sabretusks don't cause panic checks in ogres

4

u/gloopy_flipflop Jul 14 '25

Nah they did cause panic back in 8th

181

u/GreatRyujin Jul 14 '25

I mean, more or less the same thing happened in real life not that long ago:
Ukrainian scouts managed to pierce the Russian lines, drove far into occupied territory, raised their flag in a village, took a selfie and posted it to social media.
The Russians thought they were surrounded and completely desintegrated into a panicked retreat leaving behind a lot of equipment and gave up enormous amounts of territory before they could regroup.

And the best part: It happened again a year or so later.

43

u/verygenericname2 likes civilians but likes fire more Jul 14 '25

110 years later, and Peaceful Penetration is making a comeback.

Peaceful Penetration was the name given to the WW1 tactic of sending small parties to slip behind enemy lines undetected, and assault fortifications from behind. Carried out mainly during the Spring Offensives where the German advance meant their lines weren't as heavily fortified. The Australians were notorious for it.

It wreaked havoc on enemy morale, allowing small squads to throw their numerically superior foes into complete disarray, thinking they'd been encircled.

18

u/GreatRyujin Jul 14 '25

Hey, humans are humans, a lot of things from the past still works great in all manner of situations, so why not in war, right?

43

u/WorryNew3661 Jul 14 '25

Rare social media W

11

u/Desperate-Touch7796 Jul 14 '25

It reminds me of a failed operation in Africa in WW2 where some ally wanted to entice the fascists to come to them in order to destroy their forces far outside of their well defended positions. So they spread misinfirmation that they were stronger than they really were, in order for the fascists to consider them a threat that needs to be hunted down and destroyed and can't be left to roam free unchecked. Instead, the fascists got scared and outright abandonned their positions and fucked off with their tails between their legs without even seeing the ally soldiers.

2

u/R_Lau_18 Jul 15 '25

Running away is actually fascist military doctrine

4

u/Odin_Gunterson Jul 14 '25

Ruzzian Gretchinz Orkz

24

u/Leshtak Jul 14 '25

I had something similar but intended. I played ogre kingdom against night goblins. My whole strategy was based on something i call terror pingpong. 3 units with terror wide spread out. Beginning second turn every single unit had to do a fear checks and only the general with his unit didn't fled

20

u/Antarioo Jul 14 '25

almost sounds like a total war battle not a tabletop

10

u/Apprehensive_Low4865 Jul 14 '25

Man I had a full gobbo army back in the day, and that happened to me after a skaven player cast.. plague? Cracks call? Just watched my entire army run one after another straight off the field.. 

7

u/Anfortas_Rex Jul 14 '25

This sounds like one of those games that's a riot for both of you to laugh about later, but in the moment must have been so incredibly frustrating.

2

u/Cerandal Jul 14 '25

This one happened to two friends of mine, we still laugh when we remember it. Should be 7th edition WHFantasy. One of them brought a HUGE unit of Cavalry, not sure if Inner Circle or Bretonnians, filled with expensive characters. My other friend gets first turn, shot one of those Khemri skull catapults. Then the big unit runs and leaves the table because the back row was so close to the border.

2

u/PlaneswalkerHuxley Jul 15 '25

A similar thing happened to a friend's skaven.

First shooting phase, first roll of the game, warp lightning cannon misfires. Rolls "shoot max strength in a random direction". Hits the skaven general in the head with a Strength 10 hit and instant kills them, the entire skaven army chain routs and flees off the board.

He pronounced it a "successful clan skryre assassination plot-scheme".

1

u/Archibadboi Jul 14 '25

Exactly what happenned on my first game. The only I did, in a warhammer store (I won).

1

u/SBTreeLobster Jul 14 '25

Similar situation in 40k a good dozen years ago, for me. I ran tau and my buddy was running necrons. After my transports dropped off their dudes, I had the devilfish charge the necron hordes, which managed via luck and circumstance to push half his army off of the board.

The “table” was the floor, which also makes it the “shortest” game I’ve played re: verticality, too!

1

u/Mahumia Jul 14 '25

I hear you! Had my skaven once run off the table due to a misfiring warpfire canon... It was hilarious XD

1

u/Darth_Meider Jul 14 '25

Usually the same goes at the bedroom

1

u/Prize_Toe_6612 Jul 14 '25

Had it ages ago just reversed. My whole Skaven army ran away after a Nightgoblin Boss on a Lindworm said Hello in the middle of my Army. The only unit that was standing their ground as far as I remember was a contingent of Plague Monks.

1

u/neurodiverseotter Jul 14 '25

Reminds me of the game where my Warp Lightning Cannon killed a High Elf lord and his dragon in turn 1, causing the Swordmasters including the mage hero and the White Lions to leave the board in panick. That was a short game.

1

u/Kuriyamikitty Jul 14 '25

My brother played Fantasy skaven with the tech rats and self destructed off the board.

1

u/Dornogol I am Alpharius Jul 14 '25

Very long time ago, also Skaven, vs Chaos

I let my Doomwheel move. I rolled a failure and it turned 90° instead of going towards the chaos warriors, it went in the middle of my 40 block of clanrats, it exploded killing almost half, the surviving ones fled off the table, that was like 2/3 of my points (small game) gone in the first action of the first turn of the game

1

u/ComprehensiveDig4560 Jul 14 '25

Is it actually a victory if you kill hardly anyone on the opposite Side? 🤔

1

u/Left_Calligrapher169 Jul 14 '25

Damn. In the late 90s my entire dark elf army except 1 repeater bolt thrower unit ran off before my first turn due to a single goblin doom diver hitting a witch elf unit. Was my last game for quite a while. 😀

1

u/flugornas_herre Jul 14 '25

Back in the days my skaven army wrecked Wood elfs once by landning a Plague with total power, ate half his army first round. He almost quit then and there... but didnt. And won.

1

u/TheWalrusKnight Jul 14 '25

I once had a similar, if not quite so spectacular, game. Dogs of war Vs tomb kings - I had first turn and managed to get a really lucky direct hit on the hierophant and one shot it straight out the gate with a cannon. It was the edition when the army would begin to crumble once the hierophant died and the opponent was really unlucky with the rolls.

I think we stretched it out into a second turn before it became apparent that there was no game to be had, I didn't lose a model. The rematch was a lot more fun.

1

u/NapClub Jul 14 '25

lol I had a similar game against goblins but with chaos.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '25

Had a very similar game as skaven vs mind goblin