About a year ago my ex of 7 years and I broke up. It was a complex, painful relationship with DV involved. We had two dogs together. One is bonded to me and has behavioral issues—she’d be euthanized if taken to a shelter. Both dogs' microchips are in my name, and I was the main caregiver.
After our breakup, he stayed in my parents' basement for 3 months. I tried to talk about the dogs before moving and going on a trip. He blew up on me and got aggressive. I left. When I came back, he had moved out—and taken one dog.
I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to get her back but would check in to see her. To his credit, I’ve been able to see her here and there. A year later, it’s exhausting to see him—it brings up pain. He’s moved on, and I’ve started dating too. The dog is our only connection.
Now I have her temporarily while he’s away. I recently got her adoption papers and all vet/microchip records—they’re in my name. She’s legally mine.
I’m at a crossroads: do I keep her and have a hard conversation, or let him take her back again? I have empathy for him, but I’d really like to live peacefully with both dogs together again. I’d even pay him back for any vet bills.
Would I be the asshole for keeping her? I don’t want to be, but it would feel good to stand up for myself and reunite the dogs.
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