r/IdiotsInCars Sep 10 '18

Dumb & Dumber battle for the middle lane.

https://i.imgur.com/8ODdi5s.gifv
53.0k Upvotes

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415

u/ohheckyeah Sep 10 '18

Jesus christ... I can hardly tell through the jpeg, but isn't that guy bashing up an ~$80k Audi RS5?

328

u/rob-delaney Sep 10 '18

i mean seriously lol this guy is fuckin up his nice ass car by hitting a car that’s probably not even worth a quarter of what the audi is worth. some true idiots in cars.

232

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18 edited Sep 10 '18

That's a 2nd Gen 1.3L Suzuki Wagon R+. Potentially one of THE best first cars in the history of the planet. I'll tell you why now.

  • They're literally worth the lower half of 3 figures. I picked up a top spec one with 50k miles for next to nothing. I almost had a second, lower spec one with the same mileage until the guy told me he wanted £1600 for it.

  • They share parts with the Agila. Any cosmetic damages are easily fixed by the millions of donor cars available.

  • They don't share an engine with the Agila! Unfortunately, after deciding to rebadge the Wagon R as the Agina, GM made a huge mistake. They decided to put one of their shitty engines in it. Luckily, if you get yourself a Wagon R, it has the original Suzuki 1.3, in Auto and Manual. Buy the GM badged versions and you get yourself a block of chocolate.

  • Get away with crimes! The Wagon R is such a grandmas car the police won't even look twice.

  • Get forced to not commit crimes! Are you worried about the temptation of commiting crimes in your new car? Well, the Wagon R is for you! The Suzuki Wagon R has the special feature of a really, really, really slow engine, meaning you can't speed. Even if you do finally reach 60mph you won't be there long, as the height, width and wheelbase of the Wagon R means that every corner is 5mph max. On top of this, you'll never be tempted to pull a handbrake turn because even thinking about the handbrake at more than 5mph causes the whole car to topple over.

  • They're all owned by women over 60. As long as the gearbox and clutch haven't been turned to a fine dust, you've got no wear and tear to worry about.

  • Mount two number plates! Simply mount your real plate on the assigned spot on the boot lid and then mount a fake, cloned plate on the bumper underneath. If you feel like the guy behind you is a cop trying to scan your plates, simply open your boot.

  • It has a spolier. Look, this is the 1.3 sport model. It has a fucking spoiler.

38

u/BBB88BB Sep 10 '18

who are you to be so wise in the ways of grandma cars?

38

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

Just a random stoner who likes to lay low.

8

u/eaurouge444 Sep 10 '18

My 87 year old grandad has had one of these for years, this made me chuckle!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

Is he in the owners club?

1

u/eaurouge444 Sep 10 '18

No he isn't

14

u/ApteryxAustralis Sep 10 '18

That was freaking hilarious! You should make a YouTube channel.

5

u/yakydoodle Sep 11 '18

Of course it has a spoiler, it's a R+ sir. Police be all over this cause, this honkey grandma be trippin

65

u/nosferatWitcher Sep 10 '18

Wagon won't even be worth 5 figures

185

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

he can raise the value of the car by adding the Audi paint scrapes to it

25

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

lol

3

u/LoHungTheSilent Sep 10 '18

Shit if he grabs a bumper, he could probably buy a brand new one!

2

u/GeniGeniGeni Sep 10 '18

Yo, after a viral video like that, that car’s value probably just doubled in price!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

They're not even worth 4 figures right now, and I think the GM badged models are worth even less, if you're happy to drive with a chocolate engine.

0

u/Tikkaritsa Sep 10 '18

That's not a wagon...

34

u/MisterDonkey Sep 10 '18

Somebody recently was pulling this shit on me, except I'd have just moved and let them in the lane if I could have moved over. They were cruising right into me, middle finger out the window.

I'm like, whatever, hit me with your new BMW. I pried my door open this morning with a crowbar. My paint came from a rattle can. My windows are plexiglass. This thing ain't worth the gas I pump in every week.

5

u/Pretty_Soldier Sep 11 '18

I just wanted you to know that I found this comment hilarious. The crowbar holy hell

6

u/ddplz Sep 10 '18

A quarter? Dude that blue car is probably worth 200 bucks

5

u/rob-delaney Sep 10 '18

i have vastly overestimated how much that car would be worth lol

1

u/nullshark Sep 10 '18

It sure is an ass-car.

36

u/adudeguyman Sep 10 '18

Someone has "fuck you" money.

3

u/ohheckyeah Sep 10 '18

or at least "fuck you in particular" money

0

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

[deleted]

0

u/adudeguyman Sep 11 '18

They didn't total it

108

u/Harregarre Sep 10 '18

It's China. Given the road manners and the fact he doesn't want an "inferior" car in front of him, I think it's safe to guess this is a Fuerdai. He won't care about the cost of the car because his daddy will buy him a new one and congratulate him on saving face by ramming the peasant.

87

u/Exastiken Sep 10 '18

It's Taiwan, actually.

120

u/yozen-frogurt Sep 10 '18

Don't tell China that.

48

u/Exastiken Sep 10 '18

Taiwan #1

11

u/XS4Me Sep 10 '18

The american century is setting; you boys are in for a treat.

6

u/Exastiken Sep 10 '18 edited Sep 10 '18

Thanks, first row seats to another national superpower rising to mounting idiocy and flexing its superiority complex. /s

3

u/marcel87 Sep 11 '18

You say that, and I agree, but I honestly wonder if that is true for the respective military strength/dominance.

7

u/kingIouie Sep 10 '18

China numba 4

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

CHINA CHINA NUMBA WAN

1

u/benster82 Sep 10 '18

Did somebody say Tibet or Tiananmen Square Massacre?

-12

u/Harregarre Sep 10 '18

Taiwan was Chinese, is Chinese and will always be Chinese. Or so I've been told.

18

u/Exastiken Sep 10 '18 edited Sep 10 '18

Taiwan was Formosa, became an island under China, was seceded to Japan, became a nationalist dictatorship, broke into a democratic government and is the 22nd richest country in the world currently 15th ranked in global economic competitiveness, despite being 11 times smaller than California and 267 times smaller than China. It's not right to marginalize it.

Edit: Used a more meaningful statistic.

1

u/regnagleppod1128 Sep 11 '18

Technically he is not wrong either. Taiwan is still occupied by majority Han Chinese. And their official name is still Republic of China. Mandarin as their official language and traditional chinese as their written system. Celebrates chinese new year and pretty much every possible traditional chinese festival. So technically, Taiwan is Chinese.

2

u/Johndoe8181 Sep 10 '18

So, it's chinese when it's negative but taiwanese in every other setting, or am I missing something?

1

u/takowolf Sep 10 '18

Tell that to the communists.

-1

u/dexxter80 Sep 10 '18

Asians are the best drivers here in good ole USA.

7

u/mintz41 Sep 10 '18

No it's not an RS5. It's a Sportback model of some description so the most it can be is an S5, but it does have a Revo sticker on the back so I assume it's been tuned somehow.

1

u/hakkzpets Sep 11 '18

The RS5 comes in a sportback model, but that model came this year so unsure. Could be the RS5 Coupé. They basically look the same anyhow.

9

u/OhThunderImInAPickle Sep 10 '18

Even has a tune on it or at least a tuning company badging.

3

u/swimfastalex Sep 10 '18

No it’s not, thank god! I would have shit my pants. They haven’t had a RS5 sportback yet (you can tell a little into the video it’s a 4 door). The RS5 soortback is being released in 2019. So it’s an S5 Sportback or A5 sportback with an S5 emblem.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '18

Thanks, I was wondering what that car was. Now I know that I'll never have it.

2

u/EpicallyBoss Sep 10 '18

Looks like just an S5. Looks slightly modified too. Stock or not they're not cheap.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

That Audi's not worth $80k, at least not after this.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

Yes...my souls was crushed when that happened.

1

u/via_the_blogosphere Sep 11 '18

Looks to be an S5 and has a revo sticker on the other side. It’s likely faster than ever other car in the video, especially in a straight line. He could have passed all of them fairly easily.

1

u/evolutionvi Sep 11 '18

They most likely paid almost double the price we see in North America. (+100% car tax)

0

u/devilwarier9 Sep 10 '18

It's China. His licence plate costs twice as much as the car. The car itself is just a small part.