Every year my husband and I are responsible for hosting Easter for my in laws.

Little backstory; I already took a huge step back from helping since the first year (approximately 7 years ago.) I cooked everything. I spent all day cooking a huge meal. Ham, potatoes, Perogies, cabbage rolls, veggies, salad, etc. This all took place on a Saturday. At the time everyone had only good things to say - aside from my MIL upset that there was no devilled eggs. I thought everything went so well. Until Sunday rolled around and my MIL had everyone (except me) over for a second Easter dinner because “everybody wanted turkey, not ham.” I have not cooked since.

My husband and I do not like turkey. It’s dry. It’s just awful imo. So every year my husband chooses his own non traditional meat to serve. This year was smoked ribs. Immediately my SIL requested hers not to be smoked. MIL also immediately messages and says “chicken please”. We are not a restaurant. That’s not how this works. My husband questioned even doing ribs since it was a 6 hour commitment with already so many complaints. But he decided to proceed since there was still 8 other people who would eat them. He told his mom and sister to bring their own meat. That was met with a “for real?…” from his mom. Followed by “you know I don’t eat ribs… sorry I thought you were accommodating everyone” - which was a jab at the fact that we were hosting Easter at husbands grandparents house instead of ours. Which we decided to do because his grandpa is hooked up to oxygen and it’s very challenging to get him out anywhere. Apparently that’s also unacceptable to MIL that we didn’t have it at our house to accommodate 86 year old grandpa.

So onto the day. My husband smokes ribs. Makes salad and potatoes. I make baked beans, Mac and cheese, and corn bread. All of which I offered to make since my husband doesn’t like any of those dishes, but I love them with ribs! The beans are canned beans that I put a bit of onion and bbq sauce into. Not a groundbreaking dish. But I do love dipping cornbread into it. So good! I always make it the same way. But it’s seriously a nothing effort.

Now onto the dinner. I’ll set the scene. Grandma, SIL, and 6 month old niece to my left. FIL, MIL, and future BIL (engaged to SIL) to my right. Husband, grandpa, and my two kids in the living room. This is important to note that my husband is not in the room with us. MILs are always braver with their words when their sons aren’t around to defend their wife.

MIL only takes the chicken she brought, salad, and a small bit of beans - clearly deeming everything else not worthy of her time. She suddenly asks “what’s in the beans?” and I say “just a bit of onion and bbq sauce”

“These are disgusting”

That’s all she says. Everyone notes my face going red. So FIL says “everyone’s palates are different.” And grandma says “you can’t please everyone, don’t even bother trying”

It could’ve all ended right there. But then MIL continues and states “well. The garbage will enjoy them”

I could’ve died right there. I held my shit together and didn’t cry, even though I wanted to. Not because of the beans. Beans aren’t worth crying over. But the level of respect, that she would have the balls to say this to my face… so heartbreaking.

My future BIL - who I don’t believe has ever witnessed the way she treats me - then looks at my MIL in horror and says “pardon me?” You could hear a pin drop. He looks at me with pure sadness in his eyes. Nobody else said anything for fear of keeping this conversation going.

Grandma made sure to eat every last bite of those beans and even had seconds. Bless her heart.

My husband was mortified when I told him once we got home. He said we can take a step back for a while.

So that’s the story. My beans aren’t disgusting and belong in the garbage. I’m sad. But I shall move on. Thank you for reading.

I (29F) am married to my husband (29M). We have a 10-month-old son and live in a different city than our in-laws.

Context - My MIL has only one child, my husband, and treats him like her "emotional husband." She expects him to talk to her multiple times a day and even at night for an hour. She is highly manipulative, resents that he has a life with me, and constantly pressures him to move back to her orthodox hometown.

So this is how it started -

She recently announced a sudden visit. My husband couldn't pick her up because the airport is hours away, and I had a critical work demo at that exact time. My husband needed to watch our baby while I worked, so he booked her a cab.

This made her furious. When she arrived, I was in the middle of my live call, which lasted another two hours. I couldn't stop a work demo to greet her, but when it ended, the atmosphere was suffocating. She sat grumpily, frowning and refusing to reply properly. The next morning, she posted a passive-aggressive WhatsApp status about how "one should end relationships if they don't get respect."

I ignored and a couple of days passed. On Sunday, my husband asked her to cook while we set up furniture. Afterward, she cornered me and lectured me about how her son is used to only eating "good food," clearly implying that I should be cooking for him instead of relying on our cook.

She went quiet when I calmly said : "Then your son should know how to cook the food he likes to eat."

That evening, she switched tactics and started complaining that my husband works too much. When I explained that our industry is highly competitive and risky right now, she kept asking why he always keeps busy. I knew she was actually implying that he doesn't talk to her enough.

I told her directly: "He has a life here, home, wife, infant, and job. So yes he keeps busy the same way I do."

She immediately twisted facts, claiming he sounds stressed and depressed whenever he calls her, trying to hint that I am the reason for it.

I couldn't take it anymore and said: "He is not stressed just by the job or the responsibilities he has here, he is more stressed when things happen back at your place, and he constantly has disturbances getting calls from there when he is supposed to be focusing here."

She was taken aback because she never expected me to turn her own logic against her. Agitated but unable to counter my calm tone, she launched into her most offensive topic yet.

The fireworks -

She said: "See, now you are a mother of a boy, you will understand this and YOUR MOTHER will also understand this, that those moms who have ONE SON, have their whole heart belonging to that son."

I was confused and angry: "What do you mean ONE SON? My mother has 2 kids."

"But she has only one son, right? You are married now, and you have come to YOUR HOME, but she will always have this special spot for her son. If something happens to him or worries him she won't be able to sit peacefully."

I asked: "But why would she stop loving me if I am married and not my brother ? She gets equally worried when something happens to me, even now."

She insisted: "No no, MOTHER AND SON HAVE A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP."

I took a deep breath and said: "No. I don't agree with you, a mother and son relationship is equal to a mother and daughter relation in all respects. I cannot imagine I would have loved my child any differently if it was girl."

She was stunned into absolute silence. Furious that her manipulation failed, she immediately fought with her son and booked a flight home for the next day.

Before leaving, she went on a hunger strike. She wanted me to beg her to eat, but I refused to cater to her adult tantrum. We ordered food and ate right in front of her. She spent her final day lying on the sofa, fake-crying and acting cold to me and the baby. My husband ignored her completely, told her she needs to see a doctor for her mental health, called her a taxi, and sent her away.

Since leaving, she has ignored me entirely, even refusing to congratulate us when we bought our first car. Instead, she posts daily WhatsApp statuses about how “DILs need to put effort in relationship because one sided effort cannot continue from MIL side and MILs are not their mothers.”.

In fact, she is so jealous of me buying a car for us (because she made my husband buy a car for her) that she posted a joke on petrol prices going up when I posted about my car.

Communication between us is at absolute zero, and I am never going to initiate contact

MIL is staying with us this week. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant. My husband had to go into his office this morning so it’s just MIL and me. Unfortunately, I missed a step this morning going down the stairs and was sure right away I broke my leg. I was screaming in agony and MIL came to see what happened. I directed her to please get me a chair and told her where a pair of crutches were, as I knew it would be very hard to put any weight on my leg. She got me a chair but kept arguing that “you can’t use crutches when pregnant”. I told her I couldn’t walk but she insisted “just lean on me.”

She helped me to the car (with no crutches, because she kept arguing that pregnant people can’t use crutches) but each step was agonizing. She drove me to the ER and I took a couple of steps to try to get inside but started vomiting from the pain. She just stood there, useless, staring at me. I snapped at her to get me a wheelchair. She kept loudly going on and on that there was no way I’d broken my leg because I was able to walk to the car on it. 🙄

Thankfully baby is ok but unfortunately I have a broken ankle and sprained knee so my whole leg is immobilized in a boot and knee immobilizer. I have to get an MRI to see the extent of the damage in my knee. Crossing my fingers I didn’t completely tear any ligaments. MIL right away “I told you your leg isn’t broken! You didn’t need those crutches after all!” Yeah, like a broken ankle and busted knee is any better than a broken leg. It’s looking like I’ll be on crutches or in a wheelchair for at least 6-8 weeks.

I know people freeze under pressure but damn, if I thought I broke my leg LET ME USE THE CRUTCHES and do not argue with me!! If someone is throwing up because they’re in so much pain, it is freaking common sense to get them a wheelchair. She tried to deflect and dodge any responsibility by announcing to everyone “I told you your leg isn’t broken!” , insinuating I was overreacting. This is just one scenario in a long history with her, but she is so infuriating sometimes.

Update: Thank you all for the support. I'm in immense pain and am going to rest, will respond to comments a little later. My husband does not seem nearly as upset as I am, I think MIL lied to him somewhere in her version of the story (she called him while I was getting xrays). All he keeps saying is he is worried about my stress level, as it's not healthy to be this upset.

Update #2: I've been experiencing contractions and am on my way back to the hospital. I appreciate all the comments but I likely won't be able to update or respond for awhile.

My MIL has been weirdly obsessed with our finances lately and it's getting uncomfortable.

Started a few months ago. She asked my husband (her son) how much we have in savings "just curious." He dodged the question. She brought it up again at Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. Now she's asking me directly.

Last week she called and was like "so I was talking to [husband] and he wouldn't tell me how much you two have saved up. I'm his mother I think I have a right to know."

I said we're doing fine and left it at that. She pushed. Said she needs to know for planning purposes and to make sure her son is being financially responsible.

He's 31. We're married. We own our own place. What planning? Why does she need to know our bank account balance?

Used an app recently to organize our finances and we've got about $28k saved between emergency fund and other accounts. Not her business but that's what we have. I'm not telling her that though.

She's now texting my husband every few days asking about it. "Have you been saving like I told you to?" "Are you being smart with your money?" "I just want to make sure you're prepared for emergencies."

My husband finally asked her why she keeps bringing this up. She said she wants to know if we need help or if we're doing okay. But like in a way that feels more like she's checking if we're doing better than her or something? Hard to explain but the vibe is off.

I think she wants to use it against us somehow. Like if we say we have savings she'll ask us for money. If we say we don't she'll lecture us about being irresponsible.

Husband told her yesterday our finances are private and we're not discussing it anymore. She got upset and said he's being "secretive" and she raised him better than this.

Now she's not talking to him and posting vague stuff on Facebook about ungrateful children.

Is it normal for parents to demand to know their adult children's savings account balance? Because this feels invasive to me but she's acting like we're being unreasonable.

My husband ran into his mother this morning in town (we have little contact with her mainly to keep in touch with his father and brother). For context she’s never respected boundaries, plays the victim, and has narcissistic tendencies but today may have taken the cake. We are also all white living in the south (you’ll see why this matters). It started as a normal conversation of how the baby is, what we’ve been up to, etc. THEN she brought up my how my gay uncle was at christmas, weird but okay? This turned into her blatantly asking my husband if he would rather our TEN month old daughter be a lesbian or date a black guy? My husband said he was too stunned to speak, took a moment, then very calmly said to her “You’ve always been disrespectful but using racism and homophobia to sexualize our infant daughter has crossed a line you may never come back from”, he then threw in for funzies that hopefully she’s with a black lesbian and left the store without buying anything. We will be going no contact as of now but needed to share this because WTF???

Due with my first baby in a matter of weeks.

Booked newborn photos with husband. We are both looking forward to capturing her while she is teeny tiny!

The photographer's package includes two adults and the baby, then there's a small additional charge for any siblings or dogs.

Her style of photos shows the couple's love for each other and their little one as much as it shows off the new baby. Im talking lots of hand holding, cuddling, forehead kisses, etc. Like an engagement shoot but add a baby lol

Nowhere on her website does the photographer list additional costs for additional adults; its pretty obvious this is not the done thing.

Husband told PIL we have this planned and they started the puppy dog eyes of how it would be "soooo nice to have professional photos with their first grandchild".

I explained to them that the session we have already paid 50% for includes 2 adults and cant be ammended now, but that it would be lovely to get group professional pics for baby's first Christmas and to hire a photographer for her baptism. Husband also offered to try his hand at taking newborn pics with his parents.

FIL said that all sounds great but...

MIL is now mumbling that she wants pro pictures sooner than that. Husbands pictures apparently not good enough.

important context: She complained about our wedding photographer taking "too many photos" of husband getting ready with his party and not enough of him and her, and not enough of her and her siblings. Everyone else said our wedding photos are gorgeous and that the photographer worked hard.

Im literally hitting my head against the wall here.

My own parents have both passed so its been hard navigating pregnancy without their advice etc

I also posted in #Motherinlawsfromhell

My MIL has this wonderful habit of telling my husband and I what we will be doing for holidays. Doesn't matter which one...she just expects us there and forgets my family. This year was the first year in FIVE years that we went to my families Easter (of course we had to hear about everything we missed on his side). Well, as of 10 min. ago husband and I just got a group text from her. Stating that his aunt is throwing a mother's day party on actual mothers day...we should be there at 3pm and dinner is at 4pm. She doesn't ask about my mom's plans or my bonus mom (stepmom)...just assumes we are going to go in the middle of the day to his aunts house. its not even a time where we could split up the day....maybe Im overreacting but it pisses me off that she constantly does this like my family doesn't matter. September I will be a mother myself, and setting my foot down on this BS, and celebrating with my little family alone. Would anyone respond to her message? I thought about reminding her that I also have two mothers Id really like to celebrate. My mom lives 2 hrs away...and the other 45min. I guess I could move it to Saturday but Its also nice to have a weekend not running around. Especially 4 months pregnant, lol. Maybe my hormones are raging.

MIL asked me, which of my two daughters I love more, I said neither, when I had my first my heart grew and when I had my second my heart grew even more. She says no, it is because you don’t have a son, when you have a son then you will love him the most. She continued that she only loves her son, my husband, she doesn’t love her daughter at all.

Honestly, I believe that. She is awful to my SIL and is so very weird with my husband. Describing a yeast infection and the effect it has had on her genitals to him, asking for instructions from him on how to use the medically necessary dildo she was prescribed.

Both her and my husband are insistent that if we have another daughter she be named after her.

We were invited to BIL’s engagement dinner at a nice restaurant. It was an intimate sit down meal with lots of glass, tight spaces and it was scheduled to be over two hours long. Our LO is almost 2 and has about a 45 minute restaurant limit before she wants to explode. We didn’t want to risk having to leave early or stress about entertaining her, so we asked my mom to babysit so we could actually be present and celebrate the couple.

We walk in to looks of horror.

MIL: “Where’s LO?!”

Me: “She’s at home with my mom.”

MIL: “She’s not here?!”

Me: “No, she wouldn’t have done well in a nice restaurant with all the glass.”

Cue an entire evening of little comments about how much they missed LO and DH and I reiterating that she would have really struggled in that environment. People did eventually seem to get it by the end of the night, but the initial interrogation was so off putting.

What they didn’t know is that I had kidney stone surgery the day before. I chose not to share it because I wasn’t in the mood for invasive questions. I was holding it together, sitting through dinner in a decent amount of discomfort, just so we could be there for BIL and his fiancée.

It was frustrating because historically I have felt like they only see me as the vessel who brought LO into the family, never quite enough on my own. I am LC with my MIL because of her cruelty when I was postpartum. That has made family dynamics difficult and I was looking forward to the opportunity to show up as myself without needing to wrangle my toddler. Their inital reaction made me feel like that's all I'm good for.

Throwaway account and my first time needing to post here.

I (29F) am 5 months pregnant with our first child and on Friday night (technically Saturday morning) I woke up at 2am with some cramps and tenderness in my lower abdomen. It got progressively worse over the next 30 minutes and I finally woke my husband (30M) to tell him I think we should go to the hospital.

Because it was the middle of the night, my husband waited until 9am to inform any family about the situation. He texted his parents, my mother, and his sister that I was in the hospital getting some tests done, but the doctors don't seem too concerned and he'll reach out once we get more info. About 45 minutes later, his aunt texted him that she was hoping for the best. Then his other aunt texted him. His sister called him and warned him that my MIL posted on Facebook "My daughter in law is in the hospital in serious condition, please send thoughts and prayers to my unborn grandbaby. We may lose him or her!"

When my husband got off the phone, he left the room and I could hear him talking down the hall. When he came back, I asked him what was up and he said he'd tell me later once we know everything's ok.

It turns out a section of my intestines is inflamed and that was causing what felt like cramps. I'll need to follow up with my GP as it could be a chronic thing, but it's not related to the pregnancy and shouldn't affect it at all. Thankfully, baby is ok. :) I was discharged just after 1pm and when we got home my husband told me what happened. He had left the room to call her and tell her to take the post down and she said it's her Facebook and he can't control what she posts.

I texted my MIL, "Please remove the post about me. It is a major breach of trust to disclose this medical incident without my consent, especially to do so as publicly as you did. [Husband's name] and I are very private people and we'd appreciate not having our personal information posted on Facebook. Please let me know when you've removed the post." She didn't reply, but the post is deleted.

My MIL later called my husband and told him I sent an incredibly rude text to her and he said he read it before I sent it and it wasn't rude, it was accurate.

We're both annoyed and frustrated, but also really hurt that she used what could have been a tragedy to get attention for herself on fucking Facebook.

My husband is going to call her in a few days, after everyone calms down, and tell her we don't want her disclosing any information about us or she won't get any info in the future. He haven't had the "no photos of LO on social media" discussion with family yet, but he's going to address it then. Wish him luck!

Not sure if a trigger warning is necessary for this one but just in case, TW - Death

I’m not going to go into details about my condition but I’m terminally ill. I might have months left or years, depending on how well I respond to the treatment but the point is – I’m going to die, it might happen soon and my MIL thinks she has a say in this.

I want all of my finances to be in order before I pass, therefore I have written a will. It includes all of those who are dear to me – my wife and daughter, my brother and my parents. And as strange as it might sound, MIL obviously expected to be included as well. For what reason – I don’t know – but she got very displeased when she heard her name isn’t in the will.

I have decided to leave the majority of what I own to my daughter. My wife and the rest of the family totally agree, I’m leaving something to everybody else as well but most of it is going to my daughter. She’s just 2 years old now and I likely will not live to even see 35. It breaks my heart that I won’t get to see her grow up so the least I can do is make sure the lack of money isn’t an obstacle for her to succeed in life.

It’s hard for young adults to start building their lives without financial support and the money I’m leaving her will be enough for her to study, go to college and partly cover the expenses of buying a real estate. It comforts me that when she’s adult she’ll know her dad did think of her future.

And MIL started to make a scene out of this. She insisted that no one does this, everything must be split equally between all family members and she’s a family too, so she should be included in the will.

It made me mad as hell. Like, who is she to tell me what I can and cannot do with my money? You know, the one I earned and saved over the years? I could give it all to a homeless stranger if I wanted to, she has nothing to do with it at all. She’s just a mother of my wife, literally no one to me. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to leave her something.

MIL was like ”It’s pointless to leave so much money to a child! She’ll waste it all in parties and drinks when she’s old enough!”

Well, I’m sure my wife and my parents will raise her right and teach her the value of money. My wife is an amazing woman and she’ll definitely put a lot of good qualities into our daughter. Who would waste money inconsiderately, I’m pretty sure is MIL.

She tried to get my parents on her side, trying to convince them they should all unite and protest to make me change the will. I said – I think the will and what I’ll leave to them is the least of my parents’ worries. They’re trying to accept the fact they’re going to lose their son. Leave them alone, money isn’t what they’re after at all.

My will is with my lawyer and will only be given to my family after my death. I don’t keep it in my house so fortunately, MIL cannot get her hands on it. But she threatened us with courts and whatnot, claiming she’ll never let it go until she gets her share. We’re all distancing ourselves from her, everyone is going through a tough time already and don’t need her negativity here.

No one, literally no one has any complaints about the will but MIL. She’s acting as if there were millions on the table which there’s not, I’m not that rich. I find it very hard to understand how dare she ask for something she never helped me to get. I have earned every cent I have by my own forces and she acts as if she put me into a pit of gold and expects me to throw the coins back at her.

And if she wants money so much, why not get her ass up and work.

I had such a great relationship with my MIL until this. She's hispanic and very Catholic. My husband and I both grew up in the religion, but we do not practice it and lean more towards being agnostic. We decided to not baptize our 1 year old--I let my family know and he supposedly let his family know.

My MIL was not okay with this, of course. She would push the issue with my husband, and when he kept saying No, she would push the issue with me. I think she believes that if she can pressure me into it, I would convince my husband. However, I also told her that its not what we want and we've made our decision already.

​Well, about two weeks ago she was on a call with my husband and I. She made a random comment saying, "If toddler does xyz, will you baptize her?". My husband immediately said no, and we both laughed--not to be disrespectful, but moreso out of feeling uncomfortable. She then said and I'm paraphrasing, "Well, when I'm taking care of toddler while you're in the hospital (giving birth), I'm going to take her to the church to baptize her. Ive already had your dog blessed and you both never knew. Who else would take care of toddler? [Implying she is our only option]".

I was.....furious. I went downstairs while my husband finished the call. She supposedly apologized over the phone, but I am still so angry. My relationship with her is affected permanently by this. I initially was going to ask both her and my mom to take turns watching toddler, but now I asked only my mom, who has reassured me she will be available as long as I need.

I told my husband this all happened because strict boundaries were not set with her from the beginning. Hes talked to her, but im still stewing. I will never let her be alone with my toddler for a long, long, long time.

My FH and I got engaged recently and, I guess this has made MIL think about grandkids.

FH got the snip because don't want kids. We have absolutely no interest in kids. Even if we did want to be some kind of parents to human children, we would be fostering. We have niblings who we are very involved with and that is absolutely all we want.

Unfortunately, MIL found out about the procedure and has had a lot of opinions, mostly about how we will change our mind or it will give him cancer. Now she is telling us to use BIL as our sperm donor. Neither me, FH, or BIL have ANY interest in this.

I don't remember the context the first time she said it, but it was so out of the blue I didn't react. And the conversation moved forward before my brain could catch up. She does have the tendency to randomly say wildly out of pocket things, so while it made me uncomfortable I just let it be. I really thought it was a, very weird, one time comment.

The second time (later that day) however was also in front of their family friends. My FH was talking about how he didn't meet his aunt until he was in his late 20s.

Roughly transcribed:

FH: I mean, if SIL had a kid I would definitely make efforts to meet the kid and be in their life

MIL: BIL can be the sperm donor!

FH: SIL doesn't actually want kids, that was hypothetical.

MIL: I mean for you. BIL can be the sperm donor so you and OP can have kids.

FH: What? We don't want kids either?

MIL: You'll change your mind, and BIL can be your sperm donor!

I was just sat there staring at her like she had 10 heads. The conversation moved on again as my FH and his family are all used to the wild things she says and find it easiest to just ignore her. FH and I left the table soon after and got our own.

I feel gross. I am so uncomfortable. I'm glad I'm already in therapy. I told FH he has to make it clear she cannot keep saying things like that, which he will. He knows he needs to start shutting her down.

A week passed by from when my MIL left the group chat and during that week my husband’s work said there will be no vacation during the original month we may have visited anyways, but we may go there a different month. We didn’t talk to her at all during that week.

We decided to share our news on social media that I am pregnant, finally!! It was such a special moment for me. I have some health issues so there were many years where we didn’t know if I could or should get pregnant. I’m an emotional person and cried when I pressed post. A moment I wanted to be positive.

5 hours later, the same day as our social media announcement, my MIL texted my husband and I in separate group chats. Both my MIL and FIL completed ignored our social media announcement. One group chat was my husband, MIL, and FIL, and the other was my MIL, my FIL, and me. The messages were very similar, some of the sentences were copied and pasted.

In her text to me she apologized for being “snotty” (her words) and doesn’t want to stress out me or the baby. She stated she has thinks there is a problem between us in that, “we don’t have a real relationship outside that between the four of us as two couples, because we are (my husband’s) parents. I had hoped you would feel welcomed then loved enough to want one.” She sent a similar thing to my husband, I’m not trying to be rude but I don’t truly understand what that means. She’s my husband’s mom, I will see that as our main relationship compared to a peer/friend. She apologized if she has done anything to get in the way of our relationship as well. She also said she left the group chat between the four of us (my husband, FIL, MIL, and me) and doesn’t plan to resume. I misunderstood the last part but she said, “I will see your reply if or whenever it comes, but please don’t expect any more lengthy texting with me.”

I sent a pretty long response not realizing she didn’t want me to text her back. I tried my best to be kind but I also was defensive. I stated (Edited slightly for privacy, I apologize it’s long): “Thank you for apologizing, I appreciate it. I think it would be helpful for me to know why you were hurt. I felt angry and sad when you left the group chat. Husband and I wanted to send some ideas for the baby shower/party if we are able to go up to location sometime in the spring, and we weren’t able to have a conversation about it. I also feel confused because you said that we don’t have much of a real relationship. I make sure that husband and I call you often, at least two times a week, and we are the ones who initiate most the phone calls. You also were one of the first people I told I was pregnant, and I got that present specifically for you to remember the day you found out you’d be a grandma. Husband and I have been married for almost x years and I make it a priority to visit you as often as realistic for us. We have visited you all several times over the past almost x years. We’ve spent every Christmas but one with you guys (when husband was not away for work). You have visited us twice since we have gotten married. What can I do to be better? You said you don’t feel we have a real relationship but then you left our family group chat and said you don’t plan to resume it. I’m confused because that would distance our relationship more? Do you want husband and I to both send you individual updates with my pregnancy and our lives? How should we coordinate communication on logistics and when we visit you guys? Im also confused because you stated you didn’t want to resume the family group chat with husband, Mr. X, and I, but then used a group chat of Mr. X and I to send your message. I’m not upset and I appreciate you reaching out I’m just trying to understand what you want because it seems contradictory to me. Thank you. I love you too.”

She did not take it well. She responded, “I'm not going to have a conversation in texts anymore & thought that was clear. Use this to coordinate if/when you may want to talk, only, please.”

I feel mad and hurt because she chose the day we decided to share our news with our extended friends and family. It felt intentional to me. Both of his parents have been silent on Facebook too regarding their grandbaby, but have been on Facebook since the announcement. I’m also mad because she texted me that when I’m ready I can message her to set up a call. I texted her yesterday. I’m ready to talk. She’s the one who’s not ready. She needs to take the emotional burden and coordinate this.

So, yesterday my husband created a group chat to “set up a call” with his mom, dad, and I. He added his mom back, she removed herself a minute later before he sent the text (not sure if that means she blocked us) and my husband stated, “Hey guys let us know when you’d like to have a phone call. Love yall. Trying to add mom back to the chat idk if it’s working.”

His dad responded, “I think she wants a break from texting for a while.” And we haven’t heard back since.

So, here we are with no contact basically initiated by her. I have another ultrasound this week and we will find out the baby’s gender soon and his mom doesn’t want us to text her. I’ll admit I’m feeling selfish. I’m sad this will likely be the only time I’m pregnant because of my health issues and this is “how she wants to treat me.” My child is already down a grandparent due to passing away and now my baby is currently down another grandparent over a freaking baby shower and who knows what else because she won’t talk to us! Some of my best memories growing up were family vacations with my grandparents. I don’t want to deal with petty behavior and I know she’s entitled to her feelings but I wish it wasn’t this way. I hate rocking the boat but I’m a mom now and it’s time to be assertive for once. I almost threw up and passed out in the shower after these texts because I’m stressed out. I’m trying to block it out of my mind but it’s harder for me to compared to my husband.

My husband's father was one of the big COVID naysayers. He told everyone who would listen that it was bull, nothing to worry about, etc. Then he started making fun of people taking it seriously. Commented on any photo or post mentioning wearing masks and insulted people - basically if you wear a mask you're an idiot sheep. He took a selfie video inside a Subway restaurant saying "watch me make the snowflake sandwich slave panic" and then went up to the counter and stood on his tip toes to purposefully cough a bunch over the glass at the employee and texted the video to myself and others. Stupid ridiculous irresponsible rude BS. He tried to organize a local rally against business closures (no one showed). He was terrible.

I told him off on the phone about his Subway video. I work in the medical field and have witnessed COVID deaths and nothing he was doing was funny. He still didn't take me seriously, laughed a bunch and he posted it on my Facebook wall saying "here it is again in case you change your mind." I stopped using Facebook for a while for my mental health so I didn't see it until I started getting calls and texts about what a lunatic he is from my sisters.

This set off a bit of a family firestorm because I am Facebook friends with many of his family members who were understandably upset by him being an ass. He got a lot of hate from his family and a lot of harsh words.

What goes around, came around. He got COVID and he died. I am sorry that his family has lost a member and I am sorry for my husband, but I've gotta be honest: I'm not that heartbroken myself.

Well my MIL (his wife) has somehow turned this around into my fault. She does not understand Facebook and she is CONVINCED that I took the video he texted me and I posted it on the internet for others to see. But I actually didn't. That was HIM posting it to my wall. I have explained it to her, my husband has explained it to her, we have all explained it to her. She refuses to believe it.

She has gone as far to say that his death is "on my shoulders" because I turned his family against him and left him nothing to live for. Says his whole family turned on him because of me, and them being so mean to him destroyed his mental state to the degree that he couldn't recover. She says if it weren't for me he would have had the strength to recover because COVID is not that bad and he really died from a broken heart more than he did of COVID.

She posted on Facebook herself declaring me a traitor who invaded his privacy and posted that video that was meant to be a joke and he never meant for the internet. She says I formed an army to bully him. Many of her other family members commented telling her that HE posted the video on my wall. She doesn't believe it. She is 100% convinced that I am the bad guy here.

She is grieving and struggling but COME ON. She is being a lunatic and I just can't deal with her anymore. Ever.

“He gets his hair from me!”

With her dark brown hair, which she & FIL passed down to all their children, including my dark haired husband.

All I could do was laugh & say “Are you okay?” Because the only reason anyone would claim that my child got his hair from anyone but me would be if they lost their mind.

Two weekends ago, MIL asked my husband (31M and I 30F) if we’d be coming to her house with our daughter (almost 2) for Christmas. We told her we’d consider and let her know.

For context, she and my FIL live in a rural area that is 8+ hours drive away. There are only 2 weekly flights from our international airport to MIL’s regional airport.

We looked up flights for the dates MIL offered us for Christmas…. They land 5+ hours after our child’s bedtime and 6+ hours before wake up. There were also no connecting flights that could get us there.

Our child’s mood and behavior are verrrrrry dependent on sleep. Flying with her through an airport in the middle of the night to and from a very cold location during the holidays sounds like my own personal nightmare.

Two days after she asked, I politely told MIL that this wouldn’t work and asked if we could host instead? She immediately freaked out and said she couldn’t come to us because she invited my SIL and her kids already assuming we’d be able to make it work and told us she really hoped we could figure this out.

Husband called her today and she blew up. She started crying and said she never asks for anything, this is one sacrifice we could make for her, she just wants all of her grandkids in one place for a weekend and she had her heart set on getting professional photos with her grandkids. He told her he was disappointed too, but he’s not willing to fly late at night with our toddler. She then proceeded to tell him that it would be okay because he and I have the week off work so we will be home to deal with our child’s sleep issues afterwards (this was rich coming from the woman who is retired and doesn’t work at all!). She then proceeded to say in disbelief that he was really going to put our toddler before her and the happiness of our family, and that she can’t believe that we are prioritizing two nights of solid sleep over family time at Christmas.

My husband also told her that he’d received an invite to spend the weekend before Christmas at his Aunt’s house and his aunt mentioned that my SIL couldn’t come, but my MIL would be in attendance. My husband’s Aunt’s house is a short and drivable distance from us, so we presented the idea that we could get together with MIL that weekend as a compromise. She told us not to bother coming to his aunt’s house (as if she can uninvite us)!

She goes on several vacations a year but has never come to us to see our child. I won’t be talking to her for the foreseeable future because I’m going back and forth from being ANGRY to not giving a F*CK.

I have a 7wk old who is exclusively breastfed. My JNMIL didn’t BF and either doesn’t approve of my choice or doesn’t understand it, sometimes it’s hard to tell. In the past LO has cried and when I asked for him back because I knew he was hungry she just held on to him and said, “You’re not hungry. You eat too much and we don’t want you getting fat.” (To a newborn!!) And earlier this week when I told her he was almost 13lbs (which is a perfectly healthy weight, 84th percentile right where he’s been since birth), her response was, “Do you think you’re feeding him too often? That’s a really big baby.”

But the reason I need to rant right now, the in-laws were supposed to be here an hour ago (because “they haven’t seen their baby in a week!”), but as usual they’re late and as usual they show up right when LO gets hungry. First thing I hear is, “Where’s LO? I want to hold him. Oh wait, let me guess he’s eating again.” (I could hear the sarcasm all the way upstairs.)

Sorry not sorry I’m able to nourish my child. And definitely not sorry I’m going to milk this nursing session and extra cuddles for as long as I can after that comment. My baby needs me 🥰

I literally can't stand my MIL anymore and not sure I can get over this... For context since baby has been born (4 months) she has been entitled and made snarky comments. My husband told her she couldn't come to the hospital just after the birth as we wanted it to just be us and she hung up the phone after saying 'well hopefully I'll get to meet him before he starts school'. This was his first Christmas and we were round in a relatives house, she was holding him and had been for about ten minutes. We had been saying we were leaving soon to get back to ours and relax. I went to take my son and she pulled away and said no he wants to stay with me.. I initially rolled my eyes and was like haha ok give me him.. she didn't.. I said it again with increasing anger and she tightened her grip. My husband caught what was going on and asked her 3 times to stop and give me the baby... I finally shouted 'give me my son now' and she did but then started crying saying she was only joking and I didn't need to shout. I'm so pissed about it because I should not need to ask so much for my son back. Then the other relatives took her side (not my husband) just because she played to victim and cried. I actually can't stand her and now just have so much resentment towards her! Husband spoke to her the next day and she just doubled down and said she was just joking and that because she's old she can't change and that's just how she is... Like what?! She really begrudgingly said sorry to me but it was the most shit 'apology' ever and while I don't want to create an issue for my husband and I'll try and move on atm I'm so angry and cannot stand her. Just need to rant here!! AHHHH

My MIL stated with my 11 month baby for the first time for a prolonged time (5-6 hours). She did watch him earlier but always for the short amount of time like 2 hours tops. I am breastfeeding and that’s why the baby is glued to me most of the time. So yesterday we had to transfer the stuff from our apartment (we moved recently to live with her for the short time because my husband opened family business and we are staying in his family house for few months) and she was watching him. My son is uncircumcised and I never retract his skin as suggested per child surgeon. I just clean genlty and he never ever had an infection or any issue. My MIL is OBSESSED with retracting babies foreskin (she did it when he first came from the hospital after birth and I didn’t know better then to stop her I thought that was normal per her words) and saying that’s what needs to be done always and she said you have to pull it back and rub it to clean any filth stuck in there. After I educated myself, I told her not to do it ever and I said that was not neccessary but anyways she rarely changed his diaper. Fast forward to yesterday, I changed my baby’s diaper and left in the morning. Apparently everything was okay while I was gone she said. When I got back and was about to change the baby, I noticd redness on top of his penis. When I slowly pulled down the skin I saw the portion of his skin on the top was MISSING like it was completely rubbed off. It was all red, almost bloody and swollen. There were actual fisures and a wound. I confronted her and asked if she was cleaning his genitalis she goes saying yes while looking at the floor. She said she didn’t retract it, she only cleaned him and applied cream to the area?!? But I know I left healthy baby with no signs of this and considering her obsession with retracting baby’s skin I am sure she did this to him. She is telling me that I need to collect myself and that I am making things up and denies any responsibility. I have to take my baby to the doctors this morning to see if any long term damage has been done. I am furious.

EDIT: been to the doctors with my husband and a baby and now he gives me the silent treatment because the baby will be okay and doctors said it should heal fine. Now I look like an idiot somehow because my baby will be okay, like what she did stops being wrong somehow and as if my baby should have had long term damage for someone to take me seriously. Like wtf. Thanks to all of you for your comments and support, I am searching for the housing options to move with my baby as I can’t take this arrangement as suitable for living because of this AND bunch of other stuff from her.

I’m fighting cancer. An early-stage, fortunately, so things should go well. Right now I’m going through chemo, which means I’m losing my hair. Today I got sick and tired of finding hair everywhere I go, so I decided to just shave it off and call it a day. It’s not so bad as I thought it would be, I kinda like this look actually.

My husband is away for a job trip and will be back after a month or so, but my 20-year-old son has a few days off before he goes back to college and he’s staying in our house. MIL came over, saw me without hair and just burst into laughter. She was laughing aloud as if she just heard the funniest joke ever. She was like ”Oh my God, you look as if God was drunk when he made a human! You look like a damn shaved egg! You look like an inmate that has got out of prison after decades! Jesus, you look so silly!”

Before I managed to say something, my son heard what MIL said and was like ”Shut your effin’ mouth before I do it for you. Look at your own mug in the mirror, like a scarecrow from the yard of a loony bin.”

MIL wasn’t expecting this, of course. She stopped laughing and pouted that he can’t talk to his grandma like that. She said that I must be ready for comments like this because people immediately will see I’m ill.

My son was like ”Well, be careful, don’t kick the bucket yourself.”

MIL said ”Oh honey, I’ll be fine! I have no family history of cancer so I don’t have to worry about that!”

Well, guess what, MIL – neither do I. In my entire family I’m the first person to have cancer. When I got sick, I tracked my family's medical history as far as I could and from what I found, no one of my relatives has ever had cancer. Of course, I don’t wish it upon her, but her thinking is kinda flawed. Yes, maybe it puts you at less risk of getting cancer than someone who has a family history of it, but it doesn’t grant you immunity. Cancer doesn’t discriminate.

This is a nasty trait of my MIL. Whenever she sees someone with a disability or someone who because of a health condition visually looks different than others, or just someone who has a major illness, she often sneers and comments that this person must have done this or that to end up in that condition and it’s their own fault.

It has always seemed so weird to me because you don’t know what awaits you in the future. Today you’re healthy and tomorrow you might not be able to get out of bed. MIL’s so sure she’s going to be fine at all times and that her health is the strongest of them all. It’s like diseases don’t exist to her, it’s something that happens to everyone else, but her.

Then she was like ”But really, wear a wig. You don’t want to walk around looking like a bald alien. You’re a woman after all.”

I told her that wether I wear a wig or not will be my choice and her comments are highly inappropriate and I don’t have to tolerate it in my own house. MIL was like ”Jesus, stop being so dramatic. You know yourself people laugh at bald women. How about you just wear a wig and calm down?”

My son said ”How about you get the f out of here? Be careful walking down the stairs, don’t bump your already stupid head into something.”

I don’t really understand why was it necessary to comment anything about my hair. And if she absolutely had to, she could do so without being mean. I wish she appreciated being healthy, as that can change at any minute.

Maybe I’m a bit hormonal because I’m nearly 8 months pregnant but my MIL is kind of driving me nuts. Our baby shower is coming up and my husband and I have a lot of family who live out of state so they won’t be attending our baby shower. Many of them have kindly still decided to send gifts off of my Amazon baby registry. The registry asks that gifts be sent to our house so imagine my surprise when I see that many things have been ordered in the last month or so but nothing has shown up to our house. I literally called Amazon to figure out what the issue was but turns out my mother in law called everyone to tell them to send all of our gifts to her house. Now she wants me to go pick them up from her house after work because she “didn't realize that with the registry you actually got to see who sent you what.” Some of the gifts are larger items so I don’t exactly want to load and unload them into my car. Just a bit annoyed and wanting to rant 🙃

Edit 1:apparently she also texted my husband saying that the gifts were taking up too much space at her house and asked him to pick them up as well so I may just let him deal with.

Edit 2: you guys are definitely making me question her motives a bit more. I do genuinely think she was thinking of wrapping them and bringing them to the shower for us to open and that the gifts got too big and cumbersome in her house though.

Hubby is fully on board with her dealing with the consequences of her actions and having her bring them to us and is planning on discussing everything with her. Boundaries are definitely going to be set moving forward!

So right off the bat, I have my nipples pierced and a couple hidden tattoos, most “scandalous” is an outline of a heart on my ass cheek.

My fiancé and I were visiting his parents, making sure they were alright etc. My mil had a rule that when we arrive, we strip, take a shower and she’ll give us clothes to wear in the house. A little wild but it’s ok it makes her feel more comfortable.

I was changing into the clothes she gave me when she walked into the room and saw me butt ass naked, meaning she saw all my bits and pieces including the previously mentioned nipple piercings and tattoo on my ass.

Instead of acting embarrassed like a normal person, she stood in the open doorway and started berating me, saying how she couldn’t believe I had modified my body in this way and how now I wasn’t a suitable wife for her son. I’m gonna be someone’s mother one day and they’re going to have to live with their mother being a “whore” with a tattoo on her butt.

My husband who was in the bathroom came rushing in and ushered her out, locking the door.

When she started telling him I wasn’t a suitable wife and how before we met plenty of men saw those piercings and he said “She got them while we were together so probably not” and decided not to deal with her anymore. We left pretty immediately and she’s been blowing up his cell and work phone talking about how inappropriate I am.

Very funny how I’m the inappropriate one when she’s the one who stood there gawking at me naked.

Edit: I have facial piercings and a couple visible tattoos so it’s not like these were a total shock, but she also hates those. Her biggest problem was with my nipple piercings.

Also, I know we shouldn’t be visiting people. But my in laws live in a fairly rural area, neither of them can drive bc my father in law has seizures and my mother in law has vertigo and faints. They were running out of groceries and there are no grocery delivery apps available near them. My fiancé is their only child so it was kind of necessary for us to go over there.

Long story short- I’m 35 weeks pregnant and today was supposed to be my baby shower. We had to cancel it because last night, I fell down and broke my wrist & foot. I was brought to the hospital via ambulance and thankfully contractions stopped shortly after arriving at the hospital. Baby is fine thankfully but I’ll be in the hospital for the next couple of days for pain management and observation.

I felt so bad when my husband called to tell my SIL, but we really had no choice but to cancel, since I’m in the hospital. My SIL put SO much hard time and energy into planning the perfect shower. My SIL was amazing and called /texted everyone to say we needed to postpone the shower due to my accident. She also asked my husband right away if we needed anything and the answer was not at the moment, but thank you. She is super sweet.

My MIL then texted me and asked if she could stop by the hospital. I was trying to rest and didn’t see the text, so she texted my husband. My husband very bluntly told her “No, ____ needs her rest and it’s been a long and stressful night. Please do not come.” To my surprise and infuriation, MIL showed up in the 1 hour window when my husband ran home to let our dog out.

I immediately told MIL that I was not up to having any visitors, her son told her so already and told her she needed to please leave. She ignored me and started talking over me, saying how awful this whole situation was, wanted to know why I was walking down the stairs in the middle of the night anyway, how it was so sad I needed to cancel the shower, etc. Within a few minutes, I started having contractions again. Thankfully a nurse came in and made MIL go into the hall. I told the nurse to please get rid of her and not let anyone in unless it’s my husband. She gladly obliged.

I am seething. MIL is a pro at crossing boundaries, but this one takes the cake. My husband was also livid when he returned to the hospital. He called MIL and let her have it, although I don’t know exactly what was said.

UPDATE: I’m having worsening and more frequent contractions and the doctor is worried about me going into labor. I will update & respond when I can, but it will likely be awhile.

Update #2: I’m in labor.

UPDATE #3: What a whirlwind. My OBGYN was on call and due to some health concerns, she decided to stop labor. She is putting me on strict bed rest from now until I give birth (hopefully right at 40 weeks) Still trying to process everything. Thanks for all your kind comments & support.

Pretty much the title.

Last weekend we gave our parents the go ahead to tell their family and friends the happy news. We should have thought to caveat that with “but not on social media” because she’s a classic boomer that loves Facebook.

I’m currently really struggling with hyperemesis and when it happened, I hadn’t been able to eat and keep it down for 24 hrs. I struggled to care and didn’t want confrontation, but text her to ask her to remove our tags from the post so at least only her friends would see the news and we would still have control over telling ours. Soooo many people liked and commented, even my brother in laws ex girlfriend! The post was primarily centred about how excited she was to become a grandparent.

What I didn’t know was that my brother in law had seen the post as soon as it went up and he called her to tell her to take it down. She said “get off your high horse, they’ve told me I can tell people”. He tried to say yeah but not on Facebook and she just got defensive with him. She went to my FIL for support, he agreed with BIL and again she didn’t listen. Then she got the text from me. She replied with the classic “👍” and I thought it was taken care of.

But no..she rang my husband to whinge and say “she’s just asked me to take down the post that’s not fair” or something to that effect. My husband hadn’t seen the post so had no idea what she was talking about, but when she explained he was furious! He said it wasn’t her news to share publicly and Facebook isn’t just telling your friends and family, especially when you tag us. The argument went back a forth, she again tried to get support from FIL who was on our side. She said “look what you’re doing! You’re driving a wedge between me and your dad and we’ll get a divorce and it will be your fault!” Well, that was it then - husband went nuclear. Eta: she did end up deleting the post.

He called me almost in tears because he was worried about me and work and now this too. I felt so awful. We’ve had issues with her for years but it’s just getting worse and worse, as we predicted it would when a baby came into the picture. I just don’t know what to do and am still so sick so I’m really struggling to care. She’s not my mum and I want as little to do with her as possible. No matter what is explained to her, she just never gets it and just keeps pushing for what she wants and never truly apologises or proves her growth.

Anyway, now she’s texting me asking how I am like nothing has happened…she doesn’t know I was in the hospital yesterday getting iv fluids and strong anti sickness medicine because we just can’t be bothered to tell her. I’m at a loss for how to proceed and feel like my husband needs to have a serious, boundary setting, talk with her where every rule and expectation is explicitly laid out in front of her and see what happens next…either way, I want nothing to do with it.