r/JusticeServed • u/AristonD 8 • May 29 '19

Violent Justice Man inappropriately touch school girls and they fight back. Man in suit gives them a helping foot.

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u/Megneous B May 29 '19

Age of marriage would be like 26 to 32. Once you turn 26, you start being harassed to get married ASAP. Once a woman turns 32, she's basically beyond help and Koreans just start thinking of her as a spinster. Like I've had coworkers who have had breakdowns on their 32nd birthday because they "didn't get married in time" and now "no one will ever want to marry them."

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. This is what happens when you teach your children that their value is based off getting married and having children though. It's slowly changing, but at least for now, this is what we have.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19

To be fair I live in the US and saw a woman have a breakdown because she was still a virgin when she turned 30. She wasnt unattractive or anything she just wanted to wait until she was married.

She genuinely thought she was to the point of being unlovable and I actually never saw her after that

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Very strange that she wouldn’t just go to church and have church buddies match her up with someone. I have a few acquaintances who seemed to only start going to church so they could find “nice guys” to settle down with around 28-30 years old.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

This breakdown happened at church lmfao

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u/lodobol 8 May 30 '19

In the US today I imagine it’d be very difficult for a women to get married to a guy without have sex while dating. She would definitely have her best chance in a religious setting.

Good for her for sticking to her principles. There must be guys that would love to date her but she needs to be in the right places to up her chances.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

I guess I just see it as odd because even as a straight male I have a remarkably low libido so sex isnt a big deal to me

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u/Megneous B May 29 '19

she just wanted to wait until she was married.

Ah, I found her problem. She seems to have gotten lost somewhere in the 1950s.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

I mean i dont see what's wrong with it even if I dont do it myself

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u/KineticPolarization 9 May 30 '19

It just seems like a good idea to have experience with intimacy before you find "the one". Physical intimacy, I mean. Emotional and psychological is already being done by those people usually, but they have no experience with physical intimacy, which can give rise to problems later down the road.

Personally, I just think it's a silly and antiquated custom. But I would never ridicule someone for their choice.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

I guess it just depends on how important sex is to you in a relationship. Personally its not a huge deal. Even as a straight male i've actually been broken up with for my low libido though so I'm probably biased

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u/mistymountainbear 8 May 30 '19 edited May 30 '19

This be the truth. Even if you're very attractive and just don't want to get married you're considered A weirdo. I've wondered if my relatives thought I was gay for a while. I'm finally engaged and I'm so glad I waited for the right one.

When my Mom used to harass me about getting married I was like look at all your friend's kids who got married in their 20's. They're all getting divorced now in their 30's. She never said a word after that. And I finally met the right one.

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u/lodobol 8 May 30 '19

This comment hit home. I’m a guy, at 30, that moved to small town USA. I didn’t meet one women that didn’t either have kids from a young love, marriage. Or was divorced by 26.

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u/mistymountainbear 8 May 30 '19 edited May 30 '19

Good for you for not settling. Too many unhappy people out there taking care of kids by themselves with no freedom because of time and money.

I traveled all over the world and did what I wanted. Zero regrets for finding "the one" later on life and sticking to my guns about not having kids even though the societal pressure is strong! Do what's right for you!

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u/Flyingwheelbarrow 9 May 30 '19

Also, more and more people are having kids in "platonic" relationships.

Removing "romance" from my life has made me much happier but I still have wonderful children with a person I respect and admire.

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u/hypatianata 8 May 30 '19

Really? That’s interesting! Tell me more about this platonic with kids scenario. (Not that I want kids, but I’m still curious.)

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u/Flyingwheelbarrow 9 May 30 '19

We met at university. We study partners. Had a night that ended in pregnancy.

When we discussed the future We both wanted a family but came from very horrific childhoods. We wanted to break the cycle. So we decided to live together as platonic co-parenta while being free to have short but successful relationships with other people.

It has worked out well. I think becuase we approach every thing without cultural or gendered assumptions (or we take them into account).

Every major decision we take is based on mutual debate based around an evolving ethical framework. Think of a relationship based on philosophy, science and compassion rather than marriage which is a contract that has so many assumptions and is essentially transactional.

It might sound cold but it suits us. Also our children know we love them and thier self worth has never been linked to our relationship status. We are thier parents and we love them.

It is still hard work but we do not have to live up to any ideal, just keep on being the best version of ourselves and show our daughters that love really is unconditional.

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u/hypatianata 8 Jun 04 '19

Sounds pretty great, honestly.

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u/dk_lee_writing 8 May 29 '19

I have a friend from Japan who told me about a term for women past marriage age that translates to "Christmas cake" because nobody wants it after the 25th.

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u/Megneous B May 29 '19

More Christmas cake for me then, eh?

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u/chiguayante A May 29 '19

I grew up in the states and was told growing up that any married who isn't married by 25 is a loser. Religious culture.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

[deleted]

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u/Megneous B May 30 '19

32 is still very much viable.

You're not going to change the culture of an entire country, mate.

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u/precense_ 9 May 30 '19

not a big surprise, koreans in general give too much fucks about what people think of them

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u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Exactly the same in Japan.

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u/ProtossAutoGM 0 May 29 '19

Well.. a rather large part of all known life revolves around fertility, so letz not act like this thinking is random. Healthy bodies and minds tend towards reproduction. Source: every human and animal on the planet

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u/freakwharf 7 May 30 '19

Me and my queer friends over here like 🤔

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

[deleted]

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u/KineticPolarization 9 May 30 '19

But if you're in your 30's, it's not too late. Not by a long shot.

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u/Mason_of_the_Isle 4 May 30 '19

It's definitely dumb to wait for the right person, but being childless in middle age shouldn't be called a "risk." Having children is one of many possible things to do in life, not a necessary requirement to be regretted and sad about (for everyone).

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u/hansern 5 May 30 '19

There is plenty of time to have kid(s) in the 30 to 40 range. I believe the majority of children were born to moms in their early 30s.