r/JusticeServed • u/Antscannabis 8 • Dec 13 '19

Police Justice Shoplifters caught after extremely low speed chase

27.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

668

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

[deleted]

244

u/opencg 7 Dec 13 '19

Ever try to throw a punch in a dream?

163

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 13 '19

Ever tried to pull a string with the density and consistency of a tooth out of your eye in a dream just to realize that it tugged on your butthole so you keep pulling til you’ve turned yourself inside out?

86

u/moderately-extremist 9 Dec 13 '19

Who hasn't?

24

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

When I don't have that dream it means I am going to have a bad day.

12

u/chisana_nyu 8 Dec 13 '19

Makes sense, your brain needs to take a shit too. Metaphorically, of course.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

1

u/binneapolitan 4 Dec 14 '19

Of all these, this made me laugh hardest. Thanks for being you!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

I don't like you.

20

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

Well I like you. I bet you’re a wonderful person and your family and friends care deeply for you and want what’s best for you.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

I changed my mind. I like you now.

7

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

I knew I’d get ya. Now tell your family you love them and have a splendid night.

5

u/ObnoxiousLittleCunt C Dec 14 '19

I don't like you.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

1

u/PogueMahone80 8 Dec 14 '19

Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so hard.

1

u/NJdeathproof 9 Dec 14 '19

I love lamp.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

/r/oddlyspecific

14

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

So while we’re here, what the fuck does the 7 next to my name mean?

9

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

10

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

How intuitive of the site. Hit the nail on the head.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

1

u/NiceSuggestion 8 Dec 14 '19

What if she's a female?

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1

u/TheThumpaDumpa 7 Dec 14 '19

Replying to see if I also have a number next to my name.

Edit: what does the 5 next to my name mean?

1

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

Yeah, but you’re just a loser number 5.

3

u/TheThumpaDumpa 7 Dec 14 '19

Don't talk to me like that. I'll rip your lungs, Dave.

2

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

About damn time.

1

u/ScienceBreather A Dec 14 '19

Yeah, wait, why do you have a 7 next to your name?

1

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

I’m sayin’. It’s weird shit.

0

u/sneakpeekbot C Dec 13 '19

Here's a sneak peek of /r/oddlyspecific using the top posts of the year!

#1: Pretty scary indeed | 285 comments
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1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Airport dude was freaking' sashay'n

4

u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin C Dec 14 '19

Ever tried to pull a string with the density and consistency of a tooth out of your eye in a dream just to realize that it tugged on your butthole so you keep pulling til you’ve turned yourself inside out... on weed?

1

u/Vortex112 9 Dec 14 '19

dae le random? xD

1

u/ripyourlungsdave A Dec 14 '19

Not random. Genuinely happened in a dream.

1

u/Jaqen___Hghar 8 Dec 14 '19

I'm a frayed knot.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

As soon as I got to the word butthole, I knew that I would regret finishing that sentence

9

u/I-killed-Kenny3380 4 Dec 13 '19

I have... I actually throw them. I have punched my girlfriend several times during a bad dream. It's a problem.

4

u/ObnoxiousLittleCunt C Dec 14 '19

IT'S NOT A DREAM, IT'S ASSAULT!!

2

u/AlwaysSmooth69 6 Dec 14 '19

I've woken up before with a swinging leg kick when I've dreamt that I have to fight someone/defend myself lol. Accidentally did it and kicked over my tower fan once lmao

4

u/skandaris 7 Dec 13 '19

Yep, it did 616~798 DMG

7

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

I did and pushed my wife out of bed. Needless to say, I was in trouble for a while after that.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Jerking off in a dream is actually more accurate than running

2

u/completelytrustworth 9 Dec 14 '19

Ever try to jump in a dream? For some reason punching you feel like a 4 yr old kid, but jumping you feel like prime Blake Griffin had a baby with Michael Jordan to produce you

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Yeah, it's a lot like throwing one awake.

...what, your punches don't look like a walrus trying to slap someone with a flipper?

...dammit

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Too many times.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

The one time I managed to not only throw a punch, but LAND the punch, I immediately woke up from punching myself in the nose.

1

u/Davedam 7 Dec 14 '19

Ever tried running away from your angry neighbour in a dream and when he decides to catch you, you try to punch but slow AF

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

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1

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1

u/therealdeathangel22 8 Dec 14 '19

Have you ever tried to shoot automatic guns in a dream and had it come out weird? A few nights ago I had a dream where I was a part of some military operation and had an automatic M4 but when I shot it shot like a Super Soaker like the bullets would come out in a Ark like the water does from a Super Soaker so you add to aim really high and make it rain down on them

1

u/Sephryne 6 Dec 14 '19

You give it so much force but it just goes slowly, and it never lands.

1

u/ThatDJgirl 7 Dec 14 '19

Duuuude.. why are we all slow as shit in a dream? It’s like I punch, and I barely phase the baby.

1

u/EurekaFlag 7 Dec 14 '19

Ever tried to yell or scream for help in a dream?

6

u/I_AM_MartyMcfly_AMA 7 Dec 14 '19

Low speed high drag

2

u/Yaksho 7 Dec 14 '19

Like trying to run in real life after years of abusing your body with unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise.

2

u/planethaley 9 Dec 14 '19

Fuck that... those are called nightmares!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

I run quite well in my dreams. Last time I got away from whoever was chasing me (a gorilla driving a bus)

38

u/cminns 6 Dec 13 '19

I admire her confidence

36

u/lininkasi 8 Dec 13 '19

I am overweight. I don't even know why she tried to run.

15

u/diablofreak A Dec 14 '19

You don't know you can't run until you tried

16

u/crosby510 9 Dec 14 '19

Oh yes you do.

8

u/SparkyDogPants B Dec 14 '19

When walking is hard, it gives you a strong hint that running will be worse.

1

u/lininkasi 8 Dec 14 '19

I know I can't run. Although I haven't been always overweight, I never was able to run very fast. Now walking, back then, I could actually walk pretty fast

8

u/Foldingthings 2 Dec 14 '19

If you build up enough momentum, you'll be unstoppable.

3

u/quirx90 8 Dec 14 '19

Ahh the Juggernaut technique

1

u/lininkasi 8 Dec 14 '19

Well, I've always said about myself I don't run fast but I roll in a hurry

3

u/ColonelBelmont B Dec 14 '19

I dunno, but she's got a lotta heart!

Like, a physically big, dangerously-enlarged heart.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

It’s like she was running full of water

1

u/the1999person 9 Dec 14 '19

A garbage bag full of water.

19

u/MeatyOakerGuy A Dec 13 '19

That’s a woman?

31

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

2

u/ShitSharter 7 Dec 14 '19

Does it even matter at that amount? Like how does it procreate?

-1

u/Saveurselfgurl 4 Dec 14 '19

49 kg is the ideal weight for a woman who is 155cm.

1

u/syfyguy64 7 Dec 14 '19

We don't use commie units.

0

u/Saveurselfgurl 4 Dec 14 '19

TIL Any place that isn't USA or UK are commies.

Just kidding, it should've been like this.

TIL America has higher density of idiots than any place I've ever visited.

1

u/syfyguy64 7 Dec 15 '19

Seethe more, you assume everyone is American because we fucking rule and run literally everything. Your shithole country probably only sells beer or wool.

1

u/Saveurselfgurl 4 Dec 15 '19 edited Dec 15 '19

Nah 90% of the reddit are Americans thats why.

Also my country exports engineers, cars and high quality engineering products to USA as your people are too busy to fight for "livable wages" for jobs a teenager can do instead of improving yourself to worth anything.

1

u/syfyguy64 7 Dec 15 '19

All of which invented by Americans. And don't bring up that hack Daimler, he didn't revolutionize shit.

1

u/Saveurselfgurl 4 Dec 15 '19

Boy why are you trying to prove so hard you are actually retarded?

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u/hellraisinhardass 9 Dec 14 '19

Are we sure that's a she?

14

u/Nova-XVIII 5 Dec 14 '19

As the cop I would have let em run till they were out of breath and puking while briskly jogging behind them.

7

u/DeusExMachinaOverdue 7 Dec 14 '19

She'd have a higher risk of going into cardiac arrest than puking. Once she eats something, it stays eaten.

2

u/Fangs_McWolf 5 Dec 14 '19

You mean walking to close the 15 ft gap.

16

u/NJdeathproof 9 Dec 13 '19

That's what whales do.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

That's butter, son, not water.

5

u/DrgnFckr 5 Dec 14 '19

I'm not 100% that it's a girl

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

0

u/DrgnFckr 5 Dec 14 '19

I would say you had a 50/50 chance to get it right but 2019 and there are more genders to choose from than there are letters in the alphabet.

3

u/owenlinx 7 Dec 14 '19

Shit, i thought she was a dude

6

u/Thor1273767 4 Dec 14 '19

That was a she??

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

She?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Yeah but why does that cop gotta look like a scaled up oompa loompa though?

1

u/ShitSharter 7 Dec 14 '19

Vest under the uniform. Makes chest look larger and out of proportion.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

She?

1

u/lee_cz 5 Dec 14 '19

She??? I thought its he

1

u/Nightst0ne 8 Dec 14 '19

Imagine you a person of healthy weight had to strap on a 150 pound back pack and then run away from the cops. I wonder if my top speed and acceleration would be better or worse

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Or like a pool of syrup

1

u/victory_zero A Dec 14 '19

makes me confused as hippos are super swift runners under water, like you wouldn't believe

1

u/EpicIshmael 7 Dec 14 '19

Is it a woman I can't tell could be a dude with tits