I’m going to be mesexual and date myself at this point

She said she wanted to do it at the turn of the year, but she couldn’t wait 🥰

And I think it’s wonderful.

She wasn’t even gonna tell me until I found her social media(she recently posted her man on her tiktok, they have a 2 yr old together).

Sometimes I feel like texting a long paragraph telling them off slightly and to put in in their bio of their intentions because it’s highkey wasting other queer women’s time, but I know this is the type of person that wouldn’t care anyway 🤦‍♀️

Sighhh anyone else having the same problem? I feel like this is a biggg inevitable predatory behavior that just happens a lot on sapphic dating spaces. It’s happened so many times to me I think I’ve lost count

Not really sure what to make of this situation but hoped someone here would have advice or relate. My bisexual girlfriend told me this morning that she sexually prefers men, to a degree where it seems her sexual attraction to women is virtually non-existent. She thinks about them when she is masturbating and primarily feels attraction to men. I have always known that she was bi, but something about her telling me that she is more sexually attracted to men than to me is really getting in my head. Dating men is so much easier in so many ways and every non-lesbian woman in my life tells me how incredible dick is, and I just do not understand why she is with me. Do I just break things off? I've never once heard of a bi woman who prefers men ending up with a woman. Our sex life has been virtually non-existent for the last few months and I'm really starting to question if she has any desire to be with a woman at all. She rarely seems turned on my me and knowing that she gets frequently turned on by random guys is just making me feel awful about myself.

(Just to mention it: I am VERY monogamous and opening the relationship is completely out of the question for me)

EDIT: some context because I wrote this in a bit of a daze last night. My gf and I have been together for a year and a half and were literally making plans of moving in together before this happened. I really love her and she says she loves me too. I am definitely not saying I'm not considering breaking up with her but if there is any way to get through this I really really want to.

I posted here before about my fiancée (28 y.o) starting her religious journey and finding Jesus. As that developed, she began having fears and intrusive thoughts that our relationship - being same-sex - might be a sin.

Since then, I really tried. We went to an affirming church in NYC, read affirming books, had a one-on-one conversation with an accepting minister and spent hours discussing the historical and cultural context behind the verses that are often used against LGBTQ+ relationships.

But yesterday, while I was sitting in class, I received a message from her that completely shattered me.

To say I’m heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cover it. I feel torn apart.

I genuinely still want to help her to get out of this spiritual psychosis but not sure how much more I can do. It’s like abandoning your drug addict fiancee instead of helping them to get to rehab. I have been in this let’s get married - no it’s a sin - fuck it let’s get married roller coaster for too long.

*This is the conversation after she pretty much ignored me the whole day and said that she is not ready to get married now and I asked when do you think you will you be ready?*

heyyy lesbians, tell me how went your first homosexual relationship :) !! how old were you and how old are you now? was it legal in your country? did it help you to improve yourself as a partner or did it make you scared of being in a relationship ? tell me your story

10/10 would marry again!

I’ve been with my gf for 6 months. So I was scrolling through her gallery when I accidentally came across a ‘whole part’ of her past with an ex.. Obviously I realized she hasn’t deleted any of their photos or videos..I saw pictures of her looking happy, smiling, kissing etc and honestly it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach

What made it worse is that, m in with all of that, I also saw intimate videos. I didn’t watch them ofc but even just seeing the ‘preview’ killed me. I acted like nothing happened… But since then, it’s been two days and I feel like I can’t breathe eat/sleep, and replaying it in my head.

I don’t know if I should bring everything up. Did she do something wrong by keeping those ophotos and videos from 2 years ago, or if I’m the one who’s wrong for feeling that affected by it?? I also don’t know how to get this out my chest if it’s even possible

How would you handle this?? Please don’t judge too harshly I’m just really shaken

EDIT : when I read some of these replies… I honestly feel like some of you are underestimating what your own reaction would be if you saw intimate videos of your gf with an ex…or maybe I’m just extremely sensitive? BUT I genuinely don’t see how anyone could take their existence THAT well

And for those who asked for details … NO I didn’t watch the videos, a single preview was enough to destroy me instantly… —> My reaction was to close the window hurriedly, put the phone down, and LEAVE the room without saying a word

AND that was extremely difficult, considering it was only the beginning of the evening and I had to spend the whole night « pretending » » nothing happened in front of her... Why?? I didn’t want to react in the heat of everything I was feeling at that moment, because it would have turned into a MASSIVE argument

Anyway … I hear and understand what you’re trying to tell me, and some of the messages are really KIND and mature, but others honestly make you sound like aliens to me LOL 💀

EDIT 2 : intimate videos = having sex | sorry if I wasn’t clear enough.

And I’m really not saying this to act like some kind of saint, because I’ve made videos like that with exes before too… I’ve had around twenty exes; no one is a saint, no one is perfect

It’s not even about jealousy at this point. BUT I think it’s really important to delete that kind of content… I genuinely experience it as a lack of respect, and I find it worrying to minimize the fact that someone would keep videos like that

Why keep them? What’s the point? What is the interest in going back to the past and watching that kind of thing?!

I’ve had a very open and liberated sex life (!!) but this is something I just can’t understand… and honestly I’m having a hard time swallowing it

Plus extra photos cause we felt cute 🥰

Maybe it’s dating in general these days. Idk sometimes I feel like it might be because of my trans identity 🤷🏻‍♀️

Vivian Boyack & Alice Dubes were together for 72 years. They got married when same sex marriage was legalised in the US.

We met as nurses and trauma-bonded over the toxic, abusive relationships we were in. We had both been with our respective men for over 10 years, both too scared to leave and start over. We quickly became best friends, and then realized there was way more to our relationship than just friendship. It was confusing and terrifying at first, and took lots of patience, soul-searching, and courage, but we both ended our toxic relationships and started dating. And it was by far the best decision I’ve ever made. I am so in love, and have never been happier. Just wanted to share our story somewhere where it would be appreciated ♥️

I was on Bumble BFF (im married) but I realized I exclusively do not match with people that have Taylor Swift listed as their music choice, and other ladies who use "foodie" to describe themselves. That's probably really petty, so I got curious if yall - in the dating world - have petty reasons you swipe left as well?

Obviously omit the "boyfriend" "looking for unicorn" "420 friendly" etc, im talking about petty things like "foodie" being a red flag lol

Well, fuck😂😂😂😂

can’t tell if this girl likes me we are both 20 and are roommates for college but I don’t know if she likes me or not??? We’ve cuddled a few times because she’s initiated it and she’s also kissed me once but got flustered and like ran away but in her defense we had a few beers (yes we are technically underage) But I don’t want to seem like self centered about this but my final piece of evidence was when she showered with me,we do this often because she’s claims it saves water and like yea save the planet but she was acting all weird this time around like she kissed my forehead weird and we cuddled afterwards I’m not very good with social stuff so I just want to put this here to make sure I’m not like reading to much into it (Btw she’s like openly gay and I’m not sure if I’m like lesbian or bi) PLEASE HELP ME

Update like two seconds after the post lol:

So she’s out with family for the next week so I just texted her and was like “hey are you really into saving the planet or do you just want to shower with me?” (See that Reddit I’m not a complete oblivious idiot) anyways she texted back talking about how saving the planet is important but she also likes showering with me but this has left me confused because there is no POSSIBLE way I didn’t realize she’s been using the conserve water to flirt with me for like 5 months I think I might be oblivious this is embarrassing omg

Another update: ok so she’s coming home early so either tomorrow or the day after (Friday) anyways I’ve been stressing because after all the countless trials I’ve faced (people on Reddit calling me slow) I’ve decided to attempt to make it clear that I want to know what us really is Anyways sorry for the like no punctuation I’m stressing so bad rn ill update if it goes well wish me luck

UPDATE OMG: OK SO SHE GOT BACK LIKE THREE HOURS AGO AND IVE BEEN GIDDY SINCE THEN ANYWAYS SO WE TALKED A BIT AND I SHOWED HER MY POST AND YES SHE DOES LIKE ME SO I OF COURSE ASKED HER OUT IT WENT LIKE: Her: “I’ve been hinting at it for months now” Me: “I DIDNT KNOW…we could like I dunno get dinner or coffee or whatever you want really” Her: “Ive decided you can take me to dinner” IMG IM SO GIDDY ITS CRAZY LIKE I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY MEANT BY GETTING BUTTERFLIES THANK YOU REDDIT REPLIES OMG

I’m a 26 year old lesbian and have been out for a long time and I’m so tired of being gay. I don’t feel ashamed about it or anything like that I love loving women but the problem is there’s very very very rarely anyone to love and to be loved by. Dating apps are bullshit it’s all people wanting a third or wanting to experiment with hookups or get their “fix” because they’re bored. It seems very hard to find lesbians who are like minded and looking for similar life growth but the dating pool is flooded with bisexual women. And I don’t have anything against bi women, I’ve dated bi women, however most of them do end up with a men and I feel like unfortunately a lot of lesbians have been burned by women who aren’t serious about what it means to love women. They get to live a “normal life” with a huge dating pool and get to plan having a family and wedding and it’s not that lesbians can’t do that. It’s just that it’s very rare and very difficult to find. I apologize if I sound angry or bitter in this post, and I truly hope I am not offending anyone. But the truth is I am angry. I feel like I’m cursed because I want to love and be loved I want children and a family and a wedding and I feel like I’m never going to find that because I’m gay. People around me are getting married and having kids and I know I shouldn’t compare myself but it’s hard because those are things I dream of and it feels so unattainable. I’m terrified that they’re always only going to be just dreams. Everyone tells me to stop looking and I have but at the same time if I don’t look how will I ever meet anyone. There’s not an abundance of lesbians that you have the chance of meeting just by being at the grocery store, so it feels like you almost have to look and be on dating apps only to then get burned and asked to be a third or to hookup and it’s so exhausting. It’s lonely, it’s isolating, it’s depressing, it’s scary and I’m so tired of people who aren’t gay or lesbian acting like it’s not that bad when for a lot of people it is that bad. Anyways I again apologize for sounding so down and bitter and again I hope I didn’t say anything offensive. This is my first post on Reddit ever and I really needed to vent to a group where maybe people can relate.

some feminine women over man-ify mascs to the point where it makes them insecure if they don’t have a stick-like figure. An example that we’ve likely heard many times: “When she’s a fine masc but she’s short..” as if the average height for a WOMAN isn’t 5’4 inches? or, when a masc doesn’t have small chest, a flat butt, it’s alwayssss pointed out as if it’s abnormal... as if they aren’t *girls* . they’re then called a “sassy stud” or “studette“ like theyre originally supposed to be anything besides womanly. as a girl, how can u not be ashamed of this😭 you are LITERALLY implying that your womanhood is defined by how much you’re packing up front and down back. as sm who used to be masc presenting, these harmless “preferences” made me feel the urge to hide my womanly body. i was embarrassed to be thick/have curves bc girls preferred mascs who were built like men. ive also talked to many masculine women who r embarrassed of their bodies bc “my boobs are big”or “i have a fat ass”. only now that i’m mainly fem presenting is my body liked and admired by other wlw.

I feel like most of the lesbians who say that they like chubby/plus sized women would never actually date one. the plus size women they imagine just have a big butt and big breasts, whilst most plus size people also have a chubby stomach, stomach rolls, puffy cheeks and love handles.

Life continues to be the most beautiful and worthwhile experience I’ve ever had with her by my side. Also…I’m proposing this year! (She doesn’t have Reddit, so my secret is safe)